


Decisions

by skipthemeds



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Decisions, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Break Up, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Character's Name Spelled as Jaeger, Denial of Feelings, Drama & Romance, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Isabel and Eren are Related, Jealous Eren Yeager, Just hold on, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is Bad At Feelings, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is In Denial, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is Whipped, Levi Loves Eren Yeager, Levi Wants That Yeager Booty, Levi is very thirsty, Levi's A Mama's Boy, M/M, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Related, Minor Krista Lenz/Eren Yeager, Minor Levi/Furlan Church, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Possessive Eren Yeager, Smut, So much misunderstandings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Eren Yeager, Unhealthy Relationships, eren is such a sweetheart, i swear this will be happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-06-07 08:48:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 105,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15215471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skipthemeds/pseuds/skipthemeds
Summary: Having a serious relationship has already become Levi's least priority. All he wants to do is to graduate and get out, live a new life in a new place. When Eren arrives, things turn upside down and Levi isn't sure if that's good or bad.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have already a fic in progress and yet here I am writing one again.
> 
> I came up with the plot with the help of songs from my old high school playlist. I have to put my other fic on hold because this one was begging to be written. This fic would be angsty-- and I feel very energized by angst. The first chapters would be fluffy with a little bit of angst, so enjoy it while it lasts.

_"Would it be okay if I took your breath away?"_

**-**  You Had Me At Hello, A Day to Remember

* * *

 

            Not all endings would be sad.

            Not all endings would be happy.

            Love was both a simple and complex concept. People normally had a habit of talking about love as mostly the heart-fluttering feeling they experienced towards another person. Whenever love was mentioned, it had always been painted as only positive.

            After numerous failed relationships, Levi decided to drop it completely when he reached his third year in university. He settled for the occasional hook-ups to relieve his stress from exams and when his partners wanted more from him, he turned his back on them. He was attractive and he knew it wasn’t too long before he would find another guy who was just interested in a quick fuck. Levi’s youthful appearance always did the job for him— small, angular face with piercing blue-grey eyes and thin, pink lips. He had a jet black military-style undercut which contrasted beautifully with his white marble skin. Many guys initially thought that Levi was easy, but they had never been more wrong. Levi might only stand at five-foot-three but he always ended up being the one in control in the bedroom. He’d never let others push him around, but that’s only because he was protecting himself.

            His heart was just too exhausted.

            Too exhausted from having ex-boyfriends who were too demanding of him. His serious relationships didn’t last long because he couldn’t give them what they wanted: his time. Levi dreamt of moving out from Maria to Sina after he finished his degree. Sina was where most of the big business firms– also his dream companies— were. That’s why he worked hard to get good grades and also the reason why he spent most of his time studying rather than going out. His ex-boyfriends were understanding at first, but as time went by and Levi acted more like a fuck buddy than a proper boyfriend, that’s when they complained. And the raven just couldn’t give them all of his time.

            Levi was tired from all the same, countless arguments. If it was going to be like that every time he settled down, he’d rather have meaningless nights which were a lot less stressful. He never had a problem waking up in the morning on the other side of the bed empty. Most importantly, he could focus on his studies with nobody distracting him.

            So when he stood in front of the university gates for his final year, he let out a big sigh. Just one more year and he was free to move out of Maria. It wasn’t that he hated the place, he was just getting bored of seeing the same things and people every day. He felt like there was no challenge if he stayed, unlike in Sina where a lot of opportunities presented themselves.

            With a clear goal in his mind, the short raven traversed the university to reach the designated building for commerce students. It’s the first day of the school year and the grounds were packed with students. Levi could discern the freshmen from the rest as they all looked confused and nervous. He could hear some of them ask older students for help while some acquainted themselves first with the new environment by exploring.

            Levi glanced at his watch and found out he was still early for his first class. Deciding he could use a cup of coffee first, he headed to the café inside the library. It was just a little place located on the ground floor where students worked part-time. The raven liked going there as it was quiet and only a handful of people could go in. Plus their coffee and pastries were quite good compared to some cafés outside the campus. Nanaba, a good friend of Levi, was manning the counter and waved at him when she noticed the raven approaching.

            “Hey, Levi! The usual?” The short-haired blonde asked cheerily.

            “Yes, please. Get me a blueberry muffin, too, would you?” He requested as he pointed to the delicious-looking muffin inside the glass case.

            “Sure thing,” Nanaba replied and the raven slid his payment on the counter.

            As the girl prepared his drink, the place was doused once again with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Levi inhaled the addicting scent. Truthfully, he was more of a tea person, but once in a while, he loved a good coffee to jumpstart his day. A few moments after, the blonde handed him his coffee and a bag containing his muffin.

            “Here ya go, Levi. I’ll see you around the building, okay? Have a nice first day!” The blonde said to which Levi nodded and headed out to the bustling school grounds.

            There was a small park between the commerce building and the medicine building where there was a lot of tables and benches to hang around. His friends were probably over there so the raven started to walk in that direction. He was halfway through his destination when suddenly, somebody slammed into him on his side, knocking the cup off his hand in the process. The raven probably would have fallen down if it weren’t the strong grip that held him on his waist.

            “I’m so sorry! Are you alright?!” A voice on his left piped up.

            Levi turned towards the voice which belonged to a tall guy with messy chestnut hair and a pair of unique-colored eyes. He couldn’t determine whether his eye color was mainly green or blue, but he was certain that there were also golden flecks in his eyes. It was intriguing and beautiful at the same time. The shorter man briefly wondered why he could see those gold flecks when he realized that their faces were so close to each other. And the guy still hadn’t let go of him.

            The raven pushed the guy away from him and brushed the imaginary dirt on his clothes. He clicked his tongue at the sight of the spilled coffee on the ground and sent a glare towards the guy.

            “Oh god, I’m so sorry about your coffee. I’ll make it up to you and buy you a new one!” The panicking boy offered the raven.

            “Forget it, kid. Just watch where you’re going next time.” Levi reigned his anger at losing a good cup of coffee. It was the first day of classes and he didn’t want to start the year by terrorizing another person.

            “I’m really sorry. It’s just that I was lost and I didn’t really understand the directions the girl told me earlier. I tried looking around for signs but there were none and then this happened so… yeah,” the tall boy rambled and scratched the back of his head. If Levi wasn’t irritated, he might have found the boy adorable.

            “A freshman, huh? What building are you looking for, kid?”

            “Arts.”

             “I don’t know what the girl told you but the building’s on the western side. You wouldn’t miss it. It’s the best-looking building in the campus. Just go past the field and you’ll see it.” Levi pointed him towards the right direction.

            “She couldn’t have just told me in simpler terms,” the boy grumbled under his breath. “Thanks for your help. I’ll have to repay you for that. So, coffee?”

            “I told you it’s fine, brat. Now, run along if you don’t want to be late for your class.”

            The boy looked at his watch. “Oh, crap. I’ve lost too much time. Look, I really wanted to make it up to you for wasting your coffee. I don’t have time right now, so maybe this afternoon?”

            Levi raised an eyebrow at the boy’s persistence. “Wow, we’ve just met for five minutes and you’re already asking me out on a date?”

            A blush crept on the boy’s face until it reached the tips of his ears and started sputtering, “N-no! I-it’s not like that! My mom always told me I should repay anyone’s kindness in any way that I can.”

            “Hm, is that so? Well, I’ll have to think about it. See you around, kid.” The older man was about to walk away when a hand grabbed his wrist to stop him.

            “I’m Eren. Eren Jaeger.”

            With enough distance between them, Levi could finally see the whole appearance of the freshman who literally made an impact on him. The kid named Eren was definitely an eye candy. His caramel skin looked smooth to the touch and brought out his eyes more. He also had an athletic but not too buff build which the raven liked; the muscles in his arms were defined and his shoulders were broad. Even the bird’s nest of a hair on his head added a certain charm to the freshman.

            Eren was attractive and Levi realized he was staring.

            The raven cleared his throat. “You’re going to be late, Eren.”

            “Ah, shit! I really have to go. I’ll see you around!” The brunet waved at Levi and started running towards the direction the raven gave him.

            The tight jeans Eren was wearing accentuated a great ass which Levi can’t help but stare at as it went farther away from him. The school year had not even started for him and yet, there he was, already checking out some freshman’s ass. When the fantastic view disappeared, he snapped out of his daze. Eren was very nice to look at and he wondered if he would ever see the boy again. The probability of that happening was low since the brunet was an art student, his building would be far from Levi’s. He shrugged the thought away and made his way to the park. He was still not happy about the loss of coffee, but at least he still had his muffin to get him through the morning.

            As he neared the park, he saw a familiar blond lying down on a bench under an oak tree. Levi approached the guy and saw that he was resting with his eyes closed. The raven moved to flick the blond’s forehead and waited for him to wake up. Light grey eyes opened but closed again when he saw who had the audacity to disturb his peace.

            “If you’re here to invite me to fool around, I decline,” he groaned.

Levi rolled his eyes and sat down across the guy. “Good morning to you, too, Farlan.”

            Farlan Church, a fourth-year architecture student and one of Levi’s best friends. The raven met him at a party during their freshman year and they somehow clicked even if Levi was an asshole most of the time. One thing led to another and they began to hook up. They did it once in a while, mostly when Levi wasn’t in the mood to spend the night with strangers. Farlan had been the longest constant person Levi had in university. He had been there for him throughout his ups and downs and Levi would kill anyone who hurt him. Their friendship was unconventional but they both knew it was just that: friendship. Neither of them tried to take it to the next level nor even thought about it. Strangely enough, they stopped getting together intimately for about six months already and opted to spend time like normal friends.

            The raven pulled out his, thankfully, unharmed muffin from the bag. “What happened to you? It’s not even 10 and you’re already looking like shit.”

            Farlan sat up and rubbed his face before focusing his attention on Levi. “Shadis happened, that’s what. I can’t believe I have him for Mondays and 7 AM at that. What did I ever do to deserve this?”

            For every major in the university, there was at least one infamous professor and the architecture department had Keith Shadis. One of Levi’s exes who was also an architecture major told him about the downright frightening man who could make a grown man cry like a baby. He didn’t believe it at first, but one day, he happened to pass by their building and saw a scary-looking bald man barking like a drill instructor at a young boy. The poor student looked like he was about to piss his pants.

            “Life’s a bitch,” the raven commented.

            “You could say that.” Farlan eyed his friend who was busy eating his muffin. “Aw, you didn’t buy one for me? And no coffee either?”

            Levi shot him a glare. “A guy knocked my coffee off when I was on my way here.”

            The blond raised his eyebrows and smirked at the raven. “A guy, huh? Was he cute?”

            “You’re thinking with your dick again. But yes, he is cute,” the shorter man replied, his mind wandering back to the sight of gorgeous emerald eyes and tanned skin.

            “So did you give him your number or what?”  

            “No, he’s a _freshman_. I don’t do freshmen, you know that.”

            A blonde eyebrow lifted at Levi’s answer. Farlan rested his chin on his palm and smirked. “Oh? I should be flattered, then.”

            “Wipe that fucking smirk off your face. You don’t count. We’re both freshmen at that time and your smug face was just annoying that I had to do something about it,” Levi lied. Farlan’s face was definitely far from annoying; he was actually handsome and very charming. He’s also very perceptive, a trait which the raven admired and hated.

            Although they both act like quarreling children, Levi and Farlan regarded each other with the utmost respect. Truthfully, the shorter male thought at first that whatever connection they were going to have was a purely physical one, but Farlan was able to surprise him when he struck up an intellectual conversation with him. People had always seen Farlan as just some cocky dude who loved to drink and party and it always surprised them when they find out he’s a huge nerd. Having Farlan as a friend with benefits did not only mean sex but Levi also gained a partner in crime.

            “Oh? We both know you love this annoying, smug face.” Farlan batted his eyelashes just to irk Levi more.

            “Your annoying, smug face will meet my fist if you don’t stop,” the raven said.

            The taller male paused for a moment and Levi thought his threat had actually gone through his friend’s head. However, said friend suddenly displayed a devilish smile which bothered the raven.

            “Your fist will probably not meet my face today. However—”

            Farlan didn’t finish his sentence as Levi was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug. The blond across him laughed at his demise and the raven was ready to knock him out the moment he could escape from the death grip he was in; he just needed to address his current situation first to do that. He didn’t need to guess the person behind him. There was only one person who had clutches like a bear and who was brave enough to touch Levi like that.

            “I MISSED YOU, SHORT STACK!” The person yelled at his ear.

            “God fucking damn, Hanji! You’re going to make me deaf!” Levi struggled to get out of the arms of his captor and he was finally released. He turned around to face the smiling brown-haired bespectacled woman and giver of ‘I’ll-crush-you-to-death’ hugs named Hanji Zoe.

            Hanji was a fourth-year biology major and Levi’s other friend. He met her during his sophomore year in the library when he was having trouble reaching a book in the topmost shelf. Hanji chanced upon him and helped him take it but not without mentioning his height. It took all of the raven’s strength to quell the anger that started bubbling inside him and left without even thanking the girl. Hanji, though, was unfazed, followed Levi and sat beside him and then talked his ears off. Even if the raven made it clear that he wasn’t interested in talking, she kept on blabbering about random topics that gave Levi a headache. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he screamed at her to shut up which resulted in both of them getting kicked out by the librarian. Miffed at the turn of events, Levi headed to the café on the first floor to buy a cup of tea. He should have known better when Hanji also followed him there. She apologized for her rudeness and offered to treat him. Since he wouldn’t ever turn down a treat, he let her. They exchanged introductions over tea and biscuits and Levi earned another friend. A friend who, as he later found out, had no concept of personal space whatsoever.

            But it was during the latter part of their sophomore year that Levi had really become grateful for Hanji.

            Levi was raised by a single mother for most of his life. His father abandoned them when he was still young. He could remember asking his mother where his father was and she would just say that he would be on a business trip for a while. When weeks turned to months, he gave asking up questions as he knew his mother would tell him the same lie over again. They never spoke about him since then and Kuchel, his mother, took several jobs so she could give them both their basic needs. When Levi got into university, he wanted to apply for a part-time job to ease his mother’s burdens. But Kuchel was a stubborn woman and claimed that she was still in tiptop shape to work. She refused any kind of help from him and ordered Levi to focus on his studies.

            That was a mistake on his part as he got a call from one of his mother’s co-workers while he was studying for an exam in his dorm room. He was informed that his mother got admitted to a hospital due to severe exhaustion and dehydration. Levi called up Hanji immediately and asked for a ride. Among the three of them, she was the only one who had a car. She didn’t ask any questions and just picked up from his dorm. When they got to the hospital, the doctor advised that his mother should stay in the hospital for a couple of days. Levi hesitated. He wanted to decline; their money was just enough to cover house bills and his education.

            Hanji sensed his hesitation. She knew his family had financial problems so she offered to cover the bill. Levi fought her over it; he didn’t want the brunette to be involved with his problems. But as eccentric as she may seem, if Hanji had already set her mind on a decision, nobody could change her mind. Her family was well-off, anyway. Both her parents were neurologists in the hospital they were in which he later found out when she dragged him to the other wing of the hospital. Hanji’s parents were surprisingly soft-spoken and gentle, unlike their daughter. They were also generous as they even offered to look for a good doctor in Stohess so his mother would be taken care of. Again, Levi tried to turn the offer down but they were very persistent. At least he knew that Hanji had one trait that she shared with her parents.

            After that incident, Levi forbade his mother to work in the city and made her stay in their hometown of Stohess. It was a small town, two and a half hours away from Maria. How Kuchel endured the long rides for many years, Levi didn’t know, but he was sure as hell that his mother won’t be doing that anymore. On the weekend that his mother was released from the hospital, Hanji drove them to Stohess.

            Levi made his mother promise not to overwork herself and she did just that. When she was completely allowed to work again, she applied as a teacher at a local daycare center. The hours were not stressful and she wouldn’t have to travel far, plus, she’s great with kids. When Levi and Hanji returned to Maria, the former went straight to look for part-time jobs. Eventually, he landed an administrative job at the supermarket downtown. The pay was good enough to keep him alive and with his mother’s permanent job, they made it through together. In the middle of his junior year, he moved out of his dorm and into a cheap yet decent apartment near the campus. Farlan offered to room with him but he declined. Although that would be beneficial to the raven in more ways than one, living alone had been his dream for quite a while. His past roommates at the dormitory also fueled that desire even more.

            How he happened to be friends with two people who gave him constant headaches and were pains in the ass, he didn’t know, but Levi knew that he could trust and depend on Farlan and Hanji with his life.

            “Munchkin, didn’t you miss Mama Hanji?” the brunette pouted.

            Levi scrunched up his nose in disgust. “No.”

            “You always say that, but I know deep in your dark, cold heart that you miss me,” said Hanji, giving the raven a side hug. He squirmed under her touch but made no move to remove her hand. He knew the more he struggled, the more Hanji would tighten her hold on him.

            “Perhaps you finally found someone to love! That’s why you rarely reply to my messages!” Hanji exclaimed, her eyes sparkling at the thought of her friend finding a guy to settle down with again.

            “You kept sending me weird videos you found on the Internet, why should I reply?” Levi scoffed. “And no, I didn’t find anybody. You know I have no time for that shit.”

            The raven didn’t miss Hanji’s slight deflation at what he said. She knew all about his doomed relationships and the eventual downfall of his interest in love. She even knew about his and Farlan’s occasional trysts which she had been disapproving at first. But when Hanji realized she couldn’t change Levi’s mind easily, she gave up. She warmed up to Farlan eventually, formed a bond, and made tormenting Levi a habit. Sometimes, Hanji would casually joke about Levi getting a boyfriend to which he would ignore her. The short raven knew she meant well, but he just didn’t want somebody to pull him down as he worked toward his goals.

           “I have a good feeling this year. You’re going to meet someone!” Hanji perked up.

           “You’re a fortuneteller now, four eyes? I should get you a maxi skirt and lots of scarves. I can picture you rocking that outfit,” the raven smirked.

            The brunette huffed at her friend’s remark. “Yeah, yeah. Keep mocking me, leprechaun. You’re going to owe me dinner from The Garrison’s for a week when that happens!”

            “So you wanna bet, huh? Bring it on, shitty glasses. If I win, you owe me dinner for a month.”

            “That’s unfair!” Hanji cried.

            “That’s settled, then,” Levi declared, ignoring his friend’s complaints and grumblings next to him.

            The rest of their free time was spent catching up. All of them had been busy during the summer break— Levi went home to his mother in Stohess, Farlan had to take summer classes, and Hanji tagged along with her parents at the hospital. Other people might have seen them as an oddball group, but they surprisingly got along together. Though, no matter how their attitudes clashed at times, at the end of the day, they knew they got each other’s’ backs.

            When the raven announced that he should leave to attend his first class, Hanji pulled him into his arms and squeezed the life out of him. She persuaded him to meet up again in the afternoon after their classes; it seemed that their Monday classes end at the same time at 5. Levi reluctantly agreed since if he didn’t, the other two would most likely crash at his apartment, make a mess, and won’t leave until midnight. He assured his two friends that he would meet them after class and gave a small nod before he walked towards his building.

            Classes were a bit boring since it was still the first meeting. Professors just went through a quick overview of their syllabi and let the class know their expectations from them. What Levi really looked forward, though, was his thesis class. The first semester would be spent on making an outline while the second half would be where his hopes of graduating would lie. The thought of graduating filled him with a rush of energy and the dream of leaving the city was crystal clear in front of him.

            Levi was deeply engrossed in taking notes during his last class that he didn’t realize it was coming to a close already. Before he left, he made small talk with a guy named Gunther who he had classes with since last year. The raven had nicknamed him ‘Turnip’ due to the appearance of his hair and his classmate just laughed with him, not really insulted.

            Hanji was already at the place they were at that morning, looking all excitable. When she saw the raven, she immediately waved her arms around to catch his attention, “Levi, over here!”  

            A few students around her jumped slightly in shock with her loud voice and frantic waving. The raven was used to it by now, but back then, he’d try to reprimand Hanji for making a scene. As Levi neared the brunette, he cocked his eyebrow at the sight of an unknown student sitting beside Hanji. He didn’t notice the young boy at first since Hanji was blocking him. The biology major looked at him with confusion until she followed his line of sight.

            “Oh! I almost forgot you’re there,” Hanji cackled, slapping a hand at her forehead. The young boy with blonde hair and big, baby blue eyes stared at her nervously like he didn’t know why he was even there in the first place.

            “This is Armin!” The brunette draped an arm over the boy. “He’s a biology freshman!”

            “H-hi,” Armin said in a small voice.

            “I suggest you run away before this insane woman ruins your life, kid,” Levi advised, tilting his head towards the brunette who pouted like a child. The blond kid’s eyes widened and looked scared for a moment.

            “You’re so mean to me, Levi! Don’t listen to him, Armin. He’s just being a grouch today— well, he’s always grouchy. Anyway, if you have problems, you could always come to me!” Hanji pulled the boy against her.

            Sitting down across the strange duo, Levi rested his chin on his hand and asked, “How did you two even meet?”

            Surprisingly, it was Armin who answered. “W-well, I was waiting for a friend here and she came up to me. The other tables were full so she asked if she could sit with me, so I agreed. Then we got to talking and found out we were actually in the same course.”

            “Never knew you liked them young, four-eyes,” the raven teased.

            “Shut up, leprechaun. Moblit will be the only one for me!” At the mention of the new name, Armin looked at the raven with curiosity.

            “It’s her boyfriend-not-boyfriend. I’m not really sure what they are,” Levi explained and the blond became even more confused.

            The brunette turned to Armin and proudly stated, “We’re exclusively dating!”

            The answer made Levi roll his eyes. The two had been “exclusively dating” for two years already but had never really put a label on their relationship; Hanji said they didn’t need it and that their love for each other was good enough to establish their relationship. Armin just nodded and gave a small smile.

            “Armin, what time is your friend coming? I’d like to meet them!” the female asked.

            “He’s on his way. Maybe he was just—”

            “Armin!” The three heads suddenly turned their heads to the direction of the husky voice calling out the young blond’s name. The figure came closer to the table and Levi’s breath hitched.

            Messy, brown hair and sun-kissed skin came into view, but it was the mesmerizing eyes that captured the raven completely. Those gorgeous eyes locked gazes with Levi and a very bright smile erupted on his face.

            “Hello.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours_  
>  _It's simply radiant,_  
>  _I see it more with everyday that goes by_  
> 
> \- You Had Me At Hello, A Day to Remember

            If Levi thought the kid was already stunning with those large, unique eyes of him, then he certainly wasn’t ready for the biggest and brightest smile he had ever seen. It was like looking at a toothpaste commercial model and he wouldn’t even be surprised if he was one because the brunet definitely had the qualifications.

            “Eren!” Armin sighed in relief. “Thank God you’re here.”

            Eren, however, seemed like he hadn’t heard his blond friend as he was too busy staring at Levi who couldn’t look away either. “Hey, you’re the coffee guy from this morning! I’m really sorry about what happened. Maybe I could buy you the coffee right now?”

            The shorter male heard a gasp escaped Hanji and he didn’t need to turn around to look at whatever face she was sporting on. He already knew that when they’re alone later, he’d receive incessant questions from her. Levi continued staring up at him with an indifferent look, trying to think of how he should answer the brunet. As he was about to tell him to drop it completely, a sudden movement behind the tall brunet caught his eye. The person approached and Levi narrowed his eyes as he made out the short, black hair and impassive black orbs of the person.

            “What are you doing here?” Levi grunted.

            Eren looked taken aback as he thought the raven was directing his temper onto him. His mouth opened and closed several times like a fish out of the water, words lost on his tongue. Thick brows furrowed and he almost confronted Levi when the person behind him spoke.

            “To apply to be the new football coach,” the newcomer answered sarcastically. “Of course I’m taking up my engineering degree here, you dimwit garden gnome.”

            Hanji doubled in laughter and Levi was ready to smack her in the head but clenched his fists instead. It was only the first day and he was already surrounded by infuriating people.

            “Mikasa!” Eren said pointedly as he turned around to the girl behind him. He gave her a warning look which turned to confusion as he processed the situation. “Wait. Do you two know each other?”

            Mikasa Ackerman shot a glare at the sitting raven before answering Eren, “Yeah. He’s my cousin.”

            The Ackermans were originally from Stohess but some of the families had ventured out to more conducive places; Stohess was only a small town and people could only do so much. Levi was born out of wedlock so he took his mother’s last name. It was his uncle Kenny who helped his mother in raising him. While he wasn’t the best role model for him (Levi learned to cuss at a young age because of his uncle), he became almost like a father to Levi since he didn’t have a family of his own. When Kuchel saved enough money, they moved into a small house just a few blocks away from his uncle’s. His mother wouldn’t admit, but Levi knew she was embarrassed by what happened to her. After all, she was the only Ackerman who had a broken family – Kenny not included since he’s a single man and financially stable. Levi didn’t care if he was fatherless; his mother was his greatest inspiration.

            Levi wasn’t really close to his other relatives, but they were nice enough that they let him work on their yards or fix something in their houses. What he really didn’t like was the rare family reunions they had. He was already 10 years old when he attended his first reunion in Stohess and clearly lacked in the height department. Usually, he would just ignore his relatives’ playful teasing, but his patience was tried and tested by a 7-year-old girl whose name was Mikasa. She was almost the same height as him, so when she found out that he was older, she questioned his height with an indifferent expression. When Levi told her to go away, she didn’t and stuck with him all throughout. It continued on until the succeeding reunions and the short male would avoid Mikasa like the plague as soon as he saw her smirking at him, ready to fire insults.

            So, of all the people he could encounter in university, why Mikasa? Levi had the urge to bang his head on the table. Taking a very deep breath, he calmed himself down. Maybe everything that was happening was pure coincidence. Maybe it would be even the last time they see each other.

            “Really?” Eren perked up and immediately sat down beside Levi.

            The raven, surprised by the action, subtly moved away from the brunet so they wouldn’t accidentally touch. His cousin looked at Eren in disbelief before sitting down next to him.

            “Levi, you didn’t tell me you already met this cutie!” Hanji squeaked. “And I like your cousin already. She’s a feisty one.”

            “Why would I tell you about him? He’s just a guy I met by accident,” Levi explained. “And please, for the love of God, don’t be friends with her. She’s evil.”

            “You’re one to talk, gumball,” his friend stated. “Hi! I’m Hanji, this pipsqueak’s best friend!” She leaned over the table to shake hands with Eren and Mikasa who returned the gesture.

            “It’s nice to meet you! I’m Eren and this is my friend, Mikasa,” the brunet said, pointing his thumb at the girl beside him, “who is also apparently his cousin.”

            Eren faced Levi again, flashing his bright smile. The raven didn’t give him any reactions because he didn’t know how to react to this blazing young man. They say that the eye were the windows to the soul and when Levi stared at those vibrant eyes, he could see the tenacity and purity. Those eyes felt like it was boring into him and made him fidgety.

            “So, how did you all three meet?” Hanji asked the freshmen.

            “We all came from Shiganshina. We’ve been friends since we were young,” Armin spoke up, a small smile gracing his lips.

            “Shiganshina’s four hours away, right?”

            “Yes, but we’re looking forward to studying here!” Armin’s tone held a certain fascination and even his face glimmered at the thought of being in Maria.

            Levi couldn’t help but snort at the poor, innocent young blond. “You won’t be saying that when you’re in your second year. Enjoy your remaining freedom, kids.”

            Hanji, then, proceeded to take over the discussion and began asking random questions to the three freshmen. Eren answered all of them courteously; Armin was timid at first, but gradually warmed up; Mikasa gave short and concise answers. While the senior biology major was having fun knowing more about the trio, Levi was itching to get out of there. Surely, Hanji didn’t invite him after school just to talk with brats? The silent raven was deeply considering leaving his friend, he didn’t realize Eren had turned his attention away from the group to him.

            “Hey, so you’re already a senior? What’s your major?” the brunet asked, fully facing the raven, indicating that he was giving all his attention to Levi.

            As much as he wanted to not participate in any discussion, he didn’t want to be rude to Eren who was only initiating a friendly conversation. Tapping his fingers on the table absentmindedly, he took a moment before responding, “Business.”

            “It suits you – serious and has an aura of a leader.” Eren paused as he gave Levi a once over and then added in a playful tone, “You’d also look good in a suit, I bet.”

            Levi raised an eyebrow at the remark. Was he deliberately flirting with him?

            “Is that so?”

            “Definitely.”

            Grey eyes and emerald eyes clashed, a tension brewing between the two of them. Levi maintained his aloofness, while Eren had an evil glint in his eyes. The latter certainly had self-confidence and a tenacious attitude, but at the same time, very warm and kind to people. Very unlike the spawn of the devil that was his cousin. Speaking of Mikasa, Levi noticed that she was grasping on Eren’s forearm even if his back was turned on her. She was also sitting so near with the brunet like they were attached at the hip.

            Were they together? If so, why was Eren being all smooth talker with him?

            “Are you fucking my cousin?” Levi asked bluntly and a little loudly as all heads turned to him.

            “What? No!” Eren denied, visibly cringing at the older male’s words. “She’s just my best friend! I didn’t, don’t, and wouldn’t do that with her. How could you even ask that anyway?!”

            The raven pointed at Mikasa’s arm tightly wrapped around Eren’s. “She looks like she’s ready to fuse your bodies together. From what I’ve seen in our hellish family reunions, she’s never that touchy with anyone.”

            The brunet scowled and instantly moved away from the black-haired girl. “Mikasa, you’re being clingy with me again. Stop it,” he hissed.

            “But Eren…” the girl whined but immediately halted by the boy.

            “No, Mikasa. You’re always acting like I’m a little boy who’s always straying away from his mother. I’m not going anywhere. Besides, Hanji and Levi seem nice.” Eren gave both seniors a soft smile.

            Hanji flashed a smile of her own. “That’s true! Levi is an adorable and kind person underneath all that nastiness, though he wouldn’t admit to that.”

            Mikasa snorted in disbelief while Levi looked daggers at the brunette in front of him. “Fuck you, shitty glasses.”

            “No, thank you! We both know you like your partners very manly,” she replied with an evil smirk on her face.

            From the corner of his eye, the senior male saw the brunet’s face lit up like he discovered a treasure chest. Levi didn’t want to assume anything, so he didn’t comment on it. Although, his eyes narrowed even more dangerously at his bespectacled friend, mentally beating the shit out of her.

            “Shut up. Do we have something to do or not? If you have no plans, I’m going home,” Levi warned, becoming more uncomfortable by the minute under the brunet’s gaze.

            “Oh, yeah! Almost forgot about that.” Hanji stood and scratched her head. “Sorry about that guys, we’ll go ahead. It’s nice meeting you! Let’s do this again sometime, okay? If you have any problems, never hesitate to tell Mama Hanji!”

            Mikasa bade her goodbye to Hanji and then pursed her lips as she looked at her cousin, giving him a small nod; Armin squeaked as his senior suddenly hugged him tightly; Eren waved at her before turning to look once again at Levi.

            “I still owe you a coffee,” the brunet stated.

            “It’s not that important, but hey, whatever floats your boat.” Like he’d really turn down free coffee if Eren was still persistent, but again, he wasn’t hopeful. They’d probably forget each other as soon as classes would pile up on work. Maybe they would bump into each other once or twice, exchange pleasantries and be on their ways. Eren was just one guy and Levi was surely going to meet others as days go by. He shouldn’t give much thought to the brunet with blazing green eyes.

            As the two seniors walked away from the freshmen, Levi felt lighter when he knew he was out of Eren’s gaze. Those big eyes gave him the creeps, yet, he was intrigued by them. Hanji was the first one to break the silence.

            “What was that about? Eren and coffee?”

            “Nothing. Brat bumped into me this morning and spilled my coffee,” Levi shrugged.

            “And he was spared from your wrath? He must be special then.” The brunette winked at him and lightly elbowed his side.

            “Don’t give it any meaning. He’s just a random freshman I met.”

            “A random attractive and charming freshman. Are you sure you’re not interested in him?”

            “Don’t push it.”

 

* * *

 

 

            For two weeks, Levi hadn’t seen any signs of the teal-eyed brunet. Not that he was looking for him, no. He had always seen Armin with Hanji which made him wonder where Eren was. Even Mikasa showed her face for a couple of times without the brunet.

            The raven was spending his two-hour break Thursday morning at their favorite spot, writing down ideas for his thesis, when Eren finally made his appearance. Levi was too focused on what he was doing that he didn’t notice the brunet sitting down across him.

            “Hi, Levi,” the brunet greeted.

            The older male’s head snapped to face the newcomer, surprised at the sudden intrusion. “Fuck, you scared me.”

            “I’m sorry,” Eren apologized, “didn’t mean to scare you.”

            “It’s fine. What are you doing here?” the raven asked.

            “My classes just ended and the next one is at 1. I figured I’d find Armin, but I found you sitting alone instead. How about you?”

            “Just writing things down for my thesis,” Levi replied and went back to writing on his notebook.

            Eren began tapping his fingers on the table, stopping at times like he was about to say something, and then going back to tapping. It went on for a couple of minutes and Levi was starting to get annoyed by the brunet’s actions. He was ready to snap at the boy when finally the other male had gathered the courage to speak out.

            “Do you want to have lunch with me?”

            The senior stared at the freshman male whose cheeks reddened at his own words. How the kid could be smooth and flirty for one time and then be a blushing virgin in the next, Levi didn’t know. What he did know for sure, though, was that Eren looked really adorable at that very second.

            Putting his pen down, he suppressed the smile that threatened to show on his face as he observed how the brunet was holding his breath while he waited for an answer. The raven couldn’t bring himself to turn the boy down.

            “Okay.”

            Eren released the breath he was holding and smiled, obviously relieved that his offer wasn’t rejected like all the other times. He stood up and waited for Levi to put away his things, quietly examining the raven. When the senior was ready, they walked side by side in comfortable silence.

            “Where do you plan to eat?” the raven asked as they went out of the gates.

            The brunet suddenly looked sheepish. “Um, well… I don’t really know.”

            That earned a raised brow from the older male. “You invite me to lunch without knowing where to eat?”

            “I’m just new here, okay. I haven’t really explored the place because I’ve been busy with schoolwork,” he explained, pouting like a little child.

            Levi bit the inside of his cheek, stopping himself from blurting out how he found Eren so cute with the pout. He reminded himself that the brunet was still a freshman; that flirting with him would not, in any way, be good for him. And even if he found the younger male very attractive, he would never hook up with him.

            _But if he offered—_ the raven squashed that thought instantly. That was wrong and he always made sure that his hook-ups just involved guys the same age as him or older. That was a personal rule and he wouldn’t break that.

            He looked over at Eren who was wearing a red short-sleeved shirt that showed off his toned arms and dark ripped denim jeans that hugged his ass and thighs perfectly. Levi wanted to beat himself up because the kid was testing his self-control. Why did he agree to lunch again?

            “There’s a street full of restaurants and cafés just a few blocks away. Let’s go there,” Levi suggested, tilting his head to the direction of the street. He led the way while the young male looked at the establishments surrounding the university. Most of the shops in the vicinity of the university cater to students’ needs – internet cafes, bookstore, convenience store, cheap apartments, and food establishments.

            “The university cafeteria is expensive as shit. You’re better off eating out here, though you have to make sure the place you’re going to is sanitary,” the raven enlightened. The boy kept nodding as the older male pointed out the places that were going to be beneficial for him. Finally, they entered a small, budget-friendly Thai restaurant which Levi, Farlan, and Hanji had been fond of. A man in his mid-thirties handed them menus as they settled in their seats. Eren constantly asked the raven about the food since apparently, he wasn’t familiar with Thai. Levi indulged the questions, enjoying the facial expressions the brunet donned as he talked. He was an expressive person while Levi was the polar opposite.

            The rest of their lunch turned out alright with mostly Eren talking. He was talkative like Hanji, though less annoying and didn’t jump into random topics every 10 minutes. The kid was charming and a great conversationalist; he wasn’t even bothered by the lack of response from his companion. But Levi wasn’t complaining. He enjoyed listening to Eren’s anecdotes from childhood. The brunet would sometimes laugh at his own stories and his eyes would sparkle with mirth as he did.

            The sight warmed Levi on the inside and a smile threatened to form in his face.

            It didn’t happen.

            When lunch came to an end, Eren thanked the raven profusely for spending time with him. The older male just shrugged and waved it off. It wasn’t that big of a deal to him, but maybe it was to the boy.

            “Where can I buy the best coffee around here?” the brunet asked as they walked back to the university.

            Levi contemplated for a moment before answering, “Some cafés here have decent coffee, but personally, I like the one in they sell in the library the most.”

            “There’s a café in the library?!” Eren said in disbelief.

            “Have you ever been to the library, brat?” The younger male shook his head. “There’s a small café at the ground floor. It’s pricier than the ones here outside, but I’d rather spend more for a good cup of coffee. They also have a great pastry collection.”

            “I’ll keep that in mind,” the brunet said with a small grin and a faraway look on his eyes.

            Levi let his gaze linger on Eren for a few seconds before concentrating on the road. Internally, he was cursing the tall boy for making him question his own principles and at the same time, he was also cursing himself for letting it affect him.

            Maybe it was just plain old lust for an attractive guy. Yes, that was it. There was no need to act on it. Eren was still young and, for sure, he would be meeting a lot of people in the coming years. Levi could just appreciate his striking features from afar. He’d be leaving after graduation, anyway.

            His thoughts were derailed when he felt fingers brushing his hand. The raven looked down and he felt shivers travel down his spine when he saw Eren’s hand so close to his. He wanted to pull his hand away, but he couldn’t. He realized he didn’t want to. Their hands stayed that way as they entered the campus. Tension hung between them but neither of them made a move to address it.

            Of course, it didn’t last long.

            “Hey, I have to go ahead. I remembered I still have to do something for one of my classes. When are you free next?” Eren asked, leaving Levi’s side and moving to his front so they were face to face.

            The raven frowned slightly at the loss of warmth from the brunet. “Monday before my 10 AM class. I usually arrive an hour before and just hang around in the park. Why’d you ask?”

            “No reason.” The freshman smiled brightly.

            Levi shot him a suspicious look but eventually let it go. “Whatever, brat. Run along now or you’ll be late to whatever shit you need to do.”

            Eren laughed delightfully and the mirth on his eyes was present once again. He was breathtakingly attractive and Levi had to stop himself from dragging the younger male to a secluded place and have his way with him. The things that Eren could make him feel. It was frustrating.

            “Thanks for having lunch with me again, Levi. See you!”

            The brunet’s hair bounced as he jogged away from the raven. The senior kept his eyes on him until he disappeared from his view. Only then that he let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. Levi should stop having malicious thoughts about the handsome freshman. Better yet, he should completely avoid him just to be safe.

            Eren Jaeger was a dangerous, dangerous man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Or you could talk to me through my tumblr: justanotherdamnkitten


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I always freeze when I'm thinking of words to say;  
>  All the things she does make it seem like love."_
> 
> \- Into Your Arms, The Maine

            Levi finally discovered why Eren asked about his free time when he arrived in the campus on Monday morning, on his way to buy coffee, and saw the brunet standing just outside the library, holding two cups of the hot beverage.

            He planned to ignore the young man, thinking that maybe he was waiting for somebody else, but was surprised when Eren suddenly blocked his path.

            “Good morning, Levi!” the younger male greeted cheerily, flashing his pearly whites at the raven.

            He couldn’t fathom how Eren can be so lively and energetic on a Monday morning. Only crazy people like Hanji looked forward to be up and early at the start of the week. Meanwhile, Levi looked like death and ready to bring wrath on those who face him when he hadn’t had his coffee yet. The brunet was most likely his first victim of the day and was ready to let him experience the classic Levi Ackerman Monday outburst when the aroma of brewed coffee assaulted his nose.

            “Here,” Eren handed him one of the cups, “this is for you.”

            “What?”

            “Coffee. For you. You always reject me when I invite you out for coffee so I thought why don’t I just buy and then give it to you? That way you won’t have a choice but to accept,” he said shyly, still pushing the coffee towards Levi.

            The raven remained still for a moment, surprised and a tiny bit flattered at Eren’s actions. “I told you already you didn’t have to,” he murmured but accepted the coffee nonetheless.

            His fingers brushed against the younger male’s as he grabbed the cup and felt the tingling sensation on his spine again.

            “Don’t you have class?” Levi asked, ignoring his disappointment as the warm fingers pull away from him.

            “In about half an hour. Do you mind if I come with you before my class?”

            Eren had a hopeful look on his face that Levi didn’t have the strength to turn down even if he vowed to himself to put some space between them. He blamed Eren’s magnetizing eyes over it. Hell, he blamed Eren himself for all of it, but he still allowed the brunet to come with him.

            The young male walked a little too close for comfort, their arms brushing from time to time. Levi could feel his heart thump faster as he felt the smooth tan skin of the taller male move against his. He could feel the blush starting to creep on his face as he wondered whether the rest of his body was as smooth as his arm. Suddenly, an image of a shirtless Eren popped up on his mind that sent him to a coughing fit.

            “Levi, are you alright?” Eren asked, eyes widening with concern at the sight of the senior’s red face.

            The raven waved him off and immediately drank from his coffee to cover his face. The worst that could happen was seeing the brunet’s face up close and he’d endure another coughing fit. He cursed inwardly at how he was acting like a flustered virgin around Eren. It infuriated him how the boy managed to get him worked up like that when it was supposed to be the other way around. Not that he wanted to play cat and mouse with Eren, no.

            Still, Levi didn’t like how a freshman like Eren was able to get under his skin in just a short time. Normally, he was able to snub advances coming from guys younger than him without having any second thoughts. So how was Eren different from them?

            Nothing was further said as the pair continued to walk. The raven hoped that at least one of his friends was in their spot. A sigh of relief escaped from his lips when he saw Farlan’s blond hair resting on the table. He picked up his pace and quickly sat down beside his friend, leaving Eren to sit across from them.

            “Farlan,” Levi said monotonously and elbowed the napping blond to get his attention.

            “Hm?” The blond looked around in a daze and gave a sleepy smile to Levi as he recognized his friend. “Hey, Lee.”

            Farlan scooted closer to the raven and Levi didn’t miss the brief narrowed gaze of Eren before returning to his happy mask. The business student cleared his throat and put a little space between him and the blond.

            “Eren, Farlan. Farlan, this is Eren. He’s the one responsible for the coffee incident on the first day,” the raven introduced them to each other and the architecture student visibly perked up at the revelation.

            “So you’re the one he was talking about that day. Damn, Levi, you’re right. He really is a cu— Ow! ”

            Levi stepped on his feet and glared at him darkly; sometimes, Farlan could be so tactless. There was no way the raven would admit in front of Eren that he found him cute. He was already having problems keeping the brat away from him and if he ever found out, Levi was sure that the brunet would likely latch onto him even more. He spared a glance at the brunet and saw that he was softly chuckling.

            “Hi, I’m Eren. It’s nice to meet you.” Eren nodded at Farlan and gave him a shy smile.

            The blond started bombarding the freshman with questions. Levi suspected that his friend wanted to know more about the mystery cutie he encountered. Farlan whined when he found out that he was the last to know about Eren; he had been missing in action for the past weeks because he was already swamped with projects.

            “Why didn’t you tell me you’re already hanging out with him, Levi? Am I being replaced?” Farlan asked dramatically.

            “Stop acting like a drama queen. We’re not hanging out. We just keep bumping into each other.” His friend didn’t look very convinced at his clarification but didn’t press any further.

            Farlan stopped his inquiry and went on to talk about art. Eren suddenly turned from shy to enthusiastic as he talked about his passion. Levi observed the brunet with amusement as the latter began gesturing wildly with his hands and his eyes shining even brighter. The younger male only stopped when he realized he had only ten minutes to get to his class. He panicked and kept dropping the pen he was holding on the ground. At the fifth drop, he started spouting profanities and Levi couldn’t help but snort at his clumsiness.

            Finally getting his bearings together, Eren grabbed his backpack and faced both seniors. “I’m really sorry, but I gotta go. Miss Brzenska will have my head if I come in late. It was really nice talking to you, Farlan. And Levi?”

            Levi looked straight at the emerald eyes of the brunet that managed to freeze him in his place. If he wanted, he could get lost in those eyes; but he didn’t and remained impassive as he waited for his next words.

            “Thanks for not rejecting the coffee. Let’s have lunch again sometime, okay?”

            Before he could dismiss the offer, the blond beside him draped an arm over his shoulder and pulled him close. “Of course, he would very much like that!”

            It was only small and short but Levi definitely saw Eren’s eyebrow twitch. Well, it’s not as if he could do anything about it. Farlan was a touchy person and, just like with Hanji, Levi had come into terms with it. He knew the brunet must be brewing up with some false idea, but Levi had no obligation to erase the doubt. Although, if he were to be honest, he didn’t like it.

            “You’re going to be late, Eren.”

            Levi’s words seemed to bring back Eren to his senses. The art student shot the two seniors a small wave before dashing out of their sights. The raven let out a sigh, thankful that he was no longer under the watchful eyes of the brunet.

            “Why don’t you just admit that you like him, huh?” Farlan spoke up, effectively breaking up his brief moment of serenity.

            “How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t do freshmen.”

            “But you’re not denying it.”

            He didn’t answer any further and chose to focus on his coffee cup with Eren’s name written on the side and a smiley drawn next to it. Levi knew the attraction was there, but what started bothering him the most was that he didn’t like Eren just for the sake of a hook-up. He liked Eren because he was nice to talk to and be with. It had been a long time since he felt like that. His past rendezvous were very clear to him that it was only sex they were both after. But with the brunet, sex wasn’t really that important to Levi.

            A desire he once thought already died sparked within him. It suddenly gave him hope that he still had a chance to be with someone he could have a real relationship and not just to spend a night with.

            But who was he kidding? Relationships and he didn’t do well together; they always ended in disaster no matter he tried to make the other party understand. Who’s to say that it wouldn’t happen again?

            So with that, Levi willed those thoughts away, pretending that none of them were eating away at him.

  

* * *

 

         

            But Eren seemed to make everything hard for Levi— and not in the sexual kind.

            Every Monday after that, the brunet was already waiting for the raven to arrive on campus, standing outside the library with hot coffee ready. One time, Levi joked that he wouldn’t get through the morning with just coffee and he never thought that Eren would take it seriously until he bought a banana walnut muffin alongside it the next Monday.

            Levi tried to stop him from buying him breakfast, knowing that it must be costing Eren a lot, but the younger male was adamant and still continued doing it for him. It was sweet and embarrassing at the same time, but he appreciated it nonetheless. Especially when one morning he found the brunet in the usual spot by the library with coffee in hand. Except he looked like he was about to fall asleep on his feet. His chocolate brown locks had paint streaks and his eyes had dark bags underneath that could rival Levi’s.

            “You look like shit,” the raven as he approached the brunet.

            Despite looking like death, Eren managed to give him a megawatt smile. “I only got about five hours of sleep since Friday,” he explained.

            “Tch. You should’ve just slept some more instead of being up early for this.”

            Eren shrugged. “I’d rather lose sleep than not see you.”

            And Levi’s heart swelled at the words.  

            Eventually, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin had become part of his friend group no thanks to Hanji. As they hung out together more often, the bolder Eren became. He would always sit close to Levi even if Mikasa clung to him like a koala. The brunet would often scold her for being so motherly and then unlatch himself from her grip just to press himself against the raven’s side. Levi could feel the death glares his cousin gave him but made no move to push the tall male away.

            Whenever Farlan was present, Eren made sure that Levi sat on one end of the bench and then sit beside him, preventing the blond from getting close to the raven. The architecture student wasn’t offended. In fact, it amused him. When Eren left for his class, Farlan mentioned to Levi how possessive Eren was of him. He earned a smack on the head from the smaller male for that.

             It wasn’t only the Mondays that the art student showed up; he was also visible every Thursday. They would go to lunch together, sometimes with Armin or Hanji, but most of the time it would only be just the two of them. Eren would always start the conversation to get things going. He talked about an art project that he needed to finish before the semester ends and then revealed that he tried out for his major’s basketball team. Levi shouldn’t be surprised given Eren’s athletic build, but he found it unfair the brunet could be artistic and athletic at the same time. It looked like he had everything – good looks, hot body, and a charming personality. What was the kid doing having lunch with him of all people? But Eren didn’t seem to mind and he looked like he was enjoying being with Levi.

            But maybe the real turning point of all of it was when the business student had come down with the flu and had to skip classes for a day. He informed Gunther, Hanji, and Farlan that he was sick and shouldn’t expect him to be on the campus. After that, he silenced his phone so nobody could disturb him, buried himself under the covers, and took a nap.

            He didn’t know what time it was when he woke up, but it definitely was evening. His head was pounding and he felt disgusted with his runny nose. He fumbled around for the tissue box and cursed when he saw it empty. He willed himself to go to the cupboard in the kitchen where he kept the boxes even if he didn’t feel like moving at all. Just as he entered the kitchen, there was a knock on the door. Thinking that it might be Hanji with her strange medicines again, he opened the door, ready to send his crazy friend home.

            The words that he prepared for Hanji died on his lips as he saw Eren standing outside his apartment.

            “Chicken soup?” the brunet asked, holding up a paper bag.

            “What are you doing here? And how did you know where I live?” Levi asked dumbfounded. He wondered if the brunet was real or if he was only made up by his medicine-clogged mind. He refrained from reaching out to him just to verify.

            “Oh… Um…” Eren scratched his head. “You weren’t in school today and Hanji told me you’re sick. So I thought I’d bring you food and asked her for help.”

            “You asked Hanji? I assume that went well?” The raven knew for a fact that whenever someone would ask Hanji for help in regards to him, she would be all over them and treat them like a criminal under investigation. She was protective of Levi just as how Mikasa was of Eren.

            The teal-eyed brunet chuckled. “It may have cost me an eardrum and got a bunch of death threats, but it was worth it.”

            Eren gazed at him with a fond look on his eyes. Levi ignored the warm feeling in his chest and ushered for the boy to come in but not before commanding him to take off his filthy shoes. His visitor complimented the pristine state of his apartment and the raven threatened to kick him out if he as so much leave a speck of dust.

            Levi led him to the kitchen and made a move to grab the bag Eren brought but was immediately stopped by the other male.

            “No, you just sit there,” he said, pushing Levi to sit down on a stool. “Just tell me where I’ll find the bowls and stuff.”

            Eren’s hands on his shoulders felt relaxing and a small part of him craved for more, preferably those toned arms wrap around him and keep him warm. He didn’t know if he was getting delusional but cuddling with Eren was very tempting at that very moment. However, the rational side of him won and let the desire rest.

            After the brunet found what he needed, he sat next to Levi on the counter and began putting soup on each of their bowls. “I could make a better chicken soup from scratch, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want me using your kitchen so I just bought from the most decent place I could think of.”

            “Why are you doing this?” the older male asked as he played the soup with his spoon, overwhelmed by the concern coming from Eren.

            “Just wanted to take care of you, that’s all,” Eren answered.

            Levi’s hand stilled. His heart thumped loudly and he wanted to melt down on the floor. He couldn’t look at Eren in fear that his chest would burst from the affection he would feel. It had been so long since anyone visited him for purely innocent reasons. It was a breath of fresh air and very frightening at the same time. He thought he’d already forgotten the feeling and yet, there it was. And the cause of that feeling was just sitting beside him, quietly eating his share of store-bought chicken soup.

            When they finished, Eren washed the dishes, ignoring Levi’s protests about him being a guest and probably didn’t know how to wash them properly. He was pouting while the brunet’s back was turned on him; he felt like a little child.

            “There, your bowls are sparkling already,” Eren said after he washed and dried the dishes. Levi looked closer and nodded when he saw that his cleaning was up to his standards.

            “Now that my job’s done, I guess I’ll go ahead,” the art student announced.

            “Wait, you’re not staying?” The words poured out of Levi’s mouth before he could think. His eyes widened as realization dawned on him but it was too late to take back his words.

            The brunet blinked owlishly at him before answering, “Um, I would love to, honestly,” he confessed, “but I have a project to work on. The deadline’s tomorrow.”

            “Oh.” The raven felt disappointment sinking in. He reminded himself that Eren’s life wasn’t centered on him and he shouldn’t be disappointed that the taller male rejected him.

            Eren suddenly fished out his phone from his pocket. “Hey, why don’t you just give me your number? That way, I can check up on you from time to time.”

            Light pink dusted the tan cheeks. “If that’s okay with you?” he murmured hastily.

            The kid would be the death of him, Levi knew it already. Eren was lucky that he was sick or else he’d drag him to his bedroom and lock him in there, never to be seen by anyone ever again. If only the brunet would stop being so fucking adorable every time they see each other.

            Levi took the phone and entered his number. He handed the device back to Eren and the brunet punched keys on his phone before pocketing it.

            “Alrighty, then.” He flashed a blinding smile at the raven.

            It was Levi’s turn to blush. “Thank you, Eren.”

            “No worries! I’m glad to help.” He mock saluted and the older male couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Just take a rest, okay?”

            He nodded and showed him out. Eren gave him a goofy smile and both of them exchanged good nights before Eren walked down the hallway and out of his sight. Despite feeling a bit woozy, Levi felt lighter than before Eren dropped by. Maybe the kid had magical healing powers.

            The raven grabbed a glass of water and his medicine before going back to his room. As he put down the glass on the nightstand beside the bed, he noticed the notification light blinking on his phone. He swiped to unlock the device and saw that he had a text from an unknown number. He opened the messaged that read:

**_It’s Eren. Don’t forget to take your meds and sleep early!_ **

            There was a hugging emoji after his message and Levi’s cheeks flared red. What was Eren doing to him? It was very uncharacteristic of the raven to act that way. He hated how Eren managed to break down the walls he built; he hated how Eren was determined to make himself a constant presence in his life; and most of all, he hated how he was slowly succumbing to the feeling every time he’s with Eren.

            Not to sound ungrateful after what the brunet had done for him that evening, he shot a quick reply of _‘Yes, mom’_ to Eren and then went under the covers.

            He tried desperately to remove the brunet from his thoughts, but even when he fell asleep, his dreams were plagued by glowing teal eyes and sun-kissed skin.

 

* * *

 

      

            Levi felt better after two days and was happy to go back to his usual routine. Eren didn’t visit him anymore but constantly texted him. Normally, he wasn’t one to text regularly, but the brunet was so much fun to talk to. At least he was more sensible than Hanji.

            He started thinking a lot more of Eren.

            Whenever his mind drifted away in class, there was Eren.

            Whenever he was stuck in writing his thesis, there was Eren.

            Whenever he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts would lead to Eren.

            Eren. Eren. Eren.

            He only realized what he was doing when he was walking downtown to the bus stop after his shift in the supermarket and he passed by a newly-opened boutique. It was small but brightly-lit and Levi became curious so he made his way inside. Racks of clothes and bags could be found on the right side of the shop while on the other side were shelves full of knick-knacks and accessories.

            Levi browsed at the scarves, looking for something that his mother would like. In just a few months, it will already be winter and he knew his mother hated the cold. When he found nothing of his liking, he moved on to the accessories section where watches, necklaces, and bracelets were on display. He was admiring the selection when his eyes landed on a couple bracelet.

            They were black leather braided bracelets with a sun charm on one of them and the other a moon charm. For some reason, he thought of Eren as the sun and him as the moon. The sun shined brightly and gave light to the moon; and with the help of the sun, the moon could also shine.

            A smile graced his lips as he thought of buying it for the both of them. It fit them perfectly. Maybe with it, Levi could show Eren how very important he—

            No. _No way._

            Levi ran out of the store as fast as he could, only stopping when he reached the bus stop. He sat down hard on the bench and ran a hand through his hair. All the feelings he suppressed finally bubbled up to the surface. There was no use in denying—he liked Eren. He wanted to be with Eren. The realization that he might be falling for the teal-eyed brunet had Levi freaking out. He wanted to be happy with it but he couldn’t. The pains of the past came back to haunt him and he was scared that it would all happen again. He had everything planned out and falling in love wasn’t one of them.

            He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts to locate the only person that could help him. Levi cursed under his breath as the phone kept ringing on the other end and almost ended the call when finally a tired and sleepy voice answered.

            “Hello?”

            “Farlan, I’m coming over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* I am so sorry in advance
> 
> I forgot to mention that I patterned their university with the one I attended since I'm not really familiar with other universities. 
> 
> It's almost 4AM and I don't have the time to edit and proofread it properly. Please excuse my mistakes if there are some. Thank you for reading and I'll be glad to hear from you through comments or you could just visit my [Tumblr](http://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You were a chance that I was too afraid of taking_
> 
> \- Face to Face, Divided by Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut ahead but not between our main babies. 
> 
> I put bad decisions as a tag for a reason. And this is my first time writing actual explicit smut. I still have a lot to work on.

            He wasn’t in the right state of mind.

            He knew he wasn’t. He knew it was a mistake. But it didn’t stop him from currently being on all fours on Farlan’s bed and be fucked from behind. Levi hated himself for using his friend, especially when he saw how worn out he looked when he opened the door for him. He debated with himself right then and there whether to continue with it, but when he thought of Eren and his developing _feelings_ for him, it scared the shit out of him. He thought of going to Eren instead of Farlan, and have his way with him; maybe after that, whatever feelings he had for the brunet would be gone and he could finally live in peace.

            But no. The feelings didn’t want Levi to treat Eren like one of his one-night stands. He wanted him to be completely his, emotionally and physically. How foolish of him to think that he was way past relationships and now, it came to bite him in the ass. Commitment was something he had long forgotten, became a silly wish that he would ever have a somewhat perfect life. So why not take the plunge with Eren? Because he already assumed that it would end up badly. The distant sounds of raised voices and glasses shattering were still clear on his mind. Levi didn’t need a repeat of that.

            But Eren.

_God, Eren._

            He was unlike any other. The way Levi felt about him was much more intense than what he had for his past relationships and that’s where the problem started. Hypothetically, if he engaged in a relationship with Eren, what would happen after graduation? Would Eren be okay if he would move to Sina? Would a long-distance relationship between them work? Or would Levi consider dropping his dream of moving out and just stay in Maria all for the sake of love?

            The questions hurting his head were the reason why he was currently with Farlan. He yearned for them to go away, even if it was temporary. And what better way to do that than have a quick, rough fuck?

            Levi was all over Farlan the moment he opened his door. The raven yanked him down for a kiss as he closed the door with his foot. He could tell that the blond was shocked at the onslaught and wanted to talk about it first, but Levi wasn’t having any of that. He needed to forget and he needed at that instant. So, he didn’t let Farlan talk and occupied his mouth with his. Fortunately, his friend relented and just went with the flow, thinking that the raven must be having a lot on his mind. It had been a couple of months since they had fooled around, after all.

            Clothes came off as they made their way to the bedroom. Farlan pinned the raven down on the bed then attacked him with kisses and soft bites on his jaw, down to his neck, and chest. His mouth latched onto one of the rosy buds and Levi let out a moan as the blond began sucking on it. One hand played with the other nub while the other hand began stroking the raven’s cock lazily.

            “Stop teasing,” Levi said, voice shaking at the pleasure he was feeling.

            Farlan grabbed the lube and a condom from his bedside drawer. The shorter male spread his legs in anticipation and observed the blond with half-lidded eyes. When the first finger entered him, he let out a sigh and closed his eyes. It had been a while since he had done this and he honestly missed it. By the time Farlan had three fingers up his ass, Levi was already getting impatient.

            After he was deemed prepped properly, the raven went on all fours and presented his ass to the other male. Farlan wasted no time in putting on the condom and lined up with his entrance. Both men groaned in pleasure as the blond finally entered him in one swift motion. The blond stayed still for a moment to allow the smaller man to adjust.

            “Fucking move already,” Levi said impatiently when the other male took his sweet time.

            Farlan snapped his hips back and forth and the raven relished the feeling of being filled up again. He needed it and he needed it roughly but Farlan apparently didn’t share the same sentiment as he set the pace so agonizingly slow. Levi would’ve appreciated it if it was some other time, but that’s not what he needed at the moment. He turned his head to glare at his friend behind him.

            “Farlan, if you’re not going to fuck me properly, I’m going to shove your ass out of—AH!” A powerful thrust cut off his sentence, making him moan. Farlan picked up the pace, gripping Levi’s hips tightly and slammed roughly into his ass. “Fuck yes!”

            The blond leaned over so his chest was pressed against the raven’s back. One of his hands snaked up until it reached a nipple and tweaked it. Farlan rolled the nub between his thumb and index finger while he pounded into Levi.

            “You’re awfully impatient tonight, aren’t you?” the taller male breathed on his ear before nibbling it. The action caused him to rock his hips back to meet the blond’s thrusts. He was lost in the throes of passion when his mind suddenly conjured up the image of Eren being the one behind him.

            In his sex-hazed mind, Levi imagined it was Eren’s warm hand gripping his waist; his long, tanned fingers toying with his perky nub; and most of all, his cock ramming inside him. The younger male would whisper dirty things in his ear, praising him for taking his dick like a pro. Levi would beg him to go faster and harder and Eren would follow, reducing them to moaning messes.

            Back in the real world, Farlan adjusted his angle so he was hitting Levi’s prostate head on. The latter cried out and dropped his head on the bed, grasping tightly on the blue sheets underneath him. There was the familiar heat pooling in his gut and he knew he was not far from cumming. And although the raven knew he shouldn’t, Eren was still on his mind. That the hand on his chest was his which slid down to his profusely leaking erection. Farlan began pumping it in time with his thrusts and Levi’s moans became louder. After one powerful thrust, the raven had to bite on a pillow to stop himself from shouting a particular brunet’s name as he came in thick white ribbons on the bed. The blond followed not soon after, hips thrusting erratically and then rode out his orgasm in slow strokes.

            Farlan pulled out of the raven and rolled onto his back, still panting heavily. Meanwhile, Levi dropped down on the bed, his cum sticking on his belly, and still lost in his thoughts of Eren. He closed his eyes and wondered if the brunet loved cuddles. The raven wasn’t one to cuddle, but he would make the younger male an exception. Eren should put his warm body to good use.

            Upon coming down from the high of his orgasm, Levi realized what he had been thinking of.

            “I’m going to take a shower,” the raven announced. He got out of bed abruptly and made his way to the bathroom across the room.

            Once he was under the water, he began to feel guilty for what he had done. Levi knew Farlan would ask questions later and he had no choice but to come clean. There was no use in lying to his friend—the blond was exceptionally good at calling him out whenever he wasn’t telling the whole truth.

            Levi also felt like he was cheating on Eren which was a silly idea to begin with. Technically, they weren’t together but he couldn’t help but feel like he was going behind the boy’s back. After every sweet little thing the brunet had done, the raven repaid them by sleeping with his friend. He leaned against the tiled wall and cursed himself for being stupid. Levi thought once he’d have a dick up in his ass, he would forget the bright-eyed brunet. Instead, his crave for Eren became stronger with the help of his fantasies earlier.

            There was no turning back at that point. Running away from Eren would just make everything worse. Except, now that he’s decided to face the truth, he was at a lost on what he’d do next. Levi figured he’d deal with it later and focused on getting himself clean. When he was sure that he was squeaky clean as he could get, he grabbed a new towel from the rack and dried himself. Wrapping the towel on his waist, he went out of the bathroom and looked for his discarded clothes.

            His clothes were all over the living room. His pants were in the couch, his work shirt was on the floor, and his boxers were in the doorway leading to the bedroom. While Levi was putting on his underwear and pants, Farlan emerged from the bedroom half-naked, stretching his arms. The blond was on his way to use the bathroom but before he could enter, Levi called out to him.

            “Hey, can I borrow one of your shirts?” Levi wasn’t going to wear his filthy work shirt which was covered in sweat since he was at work.

            “Sure, just take whatever you want from the closet,” Farlan said as he closed the bathroom door.

            The raven headed for his friend’s closet and picked out Farlan’s black high school football jersey; it was the smallest that he owned but still a bit large on Levi. After checking his appearance in the full-length mirror, he made his way to the couch on the living room and relaxed. Again, his thoughts zeroed in on Eren. What was the brunet doing at the moment? Was he out with friends and partying? It was Friday night, after all.

            The thought of Eren partying and people attaching themselves to him made Levi flare up in anger.

_What if Eren was kissing someone right now?_

            Levi shook his head. That’s definitely not going to happen if Mikasa’s always at his side. Then, another dreadful thought came over him.

            _Oh fuck. What if Eren was kissing Mikasa right now?_

            He wanted to puke at the thought of his cousin being the receiving end of the brunet’s hot kisses. No, Eren wasn’t that kind of guy, was he? He had been making clear every time that Levi was special to him. Eren wouldn’t let anyone touch him provocatively and like hell would Levi allow anyone to touch the brunet.

_You don’t want someone to touch Eren, but you let somebody else touch you, Levi. So what does that make you?_

            The raven groaned at the voice inside his head reminding him of his stupidity. He was an awful, awful person. He didn’t deserve somebody filled with sunshine like Eren. If only Levi could stop his feelings for Eren, but it was already too late.

            Levi hit his head numerous times with a pillow. His mind was in a mess and all he could think about were negative thoughts. He didn’t realize Farlan had come out from the bathroom and the blond looked puzzled at his friend’s behavior.

            “Levi? You okay there, buddy?” he asked, concernedly.

            “No,” the shorter male answered curtly. He put down the pillow on his lap but his eyes were tightly closed.

            “Is it the reason why you came over?” Farlan’s voice was a bit distant and Levi had to open his eyes to see where his friend was. The bedroom door was wide open and he could hear movement from the inside.

            “Yes,” he answered a bit louder so he could be heard.

            “So what’s the problem? Work?”

            “Eren.”

            The movements stopped for a moment. “Huh? Eren? What did he do now?”

            Levi sighed deeply. There really was no turning back. “I realized that I like him.”

            Suddenly, he heard heavy footsteps and not a minute later, Farlan appeared on the living room wearing only loose boxers with pug faces on it. On an ordinary day, Levi would have laughed at the blond’s choice of underwear, but he didn’t that moment. Not when Farlan was looking at him like a parent angry at his child.

            “Levi! Are you telling me that you decided to come here to fuck because you finally realized you have feelings for Eren?”

            The raven groaned. “I know. I’m stupid. An idiot.”

            Farlan crossed his arms and tapped his foot. The two men didn’t speak for a while—the taller man still grasping the situation and Levi still loathing himself. Eventually, the silence was broken by a loud sigh from the taller male.

            “Stay right there. Don’t go anywhere,” the blond ordered and went back to his bedroom.

            After several minutes, Farlan returned, fully dressed. “Come on, let’s go.”

            “Where are we going?” Levi looked at him questioningly.

            “McDonald's. I’m fucking starving and craving for greasy food.”

 

* * *

 

 

            “So, are you going to confess to Eren when you see him?” Farlan asked Levi as he popped a fry in his mouth.

            The place wasn’t full and both of them sat found a table on the corner. Levi wasn’t a big fan of greasy, fast food items but he was hungry. He never had the chance to buy food after work since he got all worked up over Eren.

            “I don’t know. I’m scared, Farlan. You know there’s a reason why I don’t do relationships. It will just end up badly,” the raven said dejectedly, chewing a fry of his own.

            “Levi, don’t think like that. I know it’s been a while, but maybe this will be good for you. Eren seems like a good kid, anyway.”

            “That’s another problem. He’s _young_.”

            Farlan rolled his eyes. “Three years is not too young. You’re overthinking things.”

            “Then what should I do? Walk up to him and just say ‘I like you, would you like to go out with me?’”

            Light grey eyes twinkled. “Actually, that might work, you know?”

            The raven didn’t answer and diverted his attention to his hamburger. He couldn’t deny that he was excited to see Eren again. His too bright eyes with his equally too bright smile and his smooth, sun-kissed skin. Warmth flooded Levi’s chest as he thought about spending a lot more time with Eren. But he still had doubts.

            “What if it doesn’t work out in the end?” he asked feebly.

            Farlan placed a hand over Levi’s and squeezed. “Then it doesn’t. But I think Eren’s different. He’s got you all wrapped around his finger. You don’t have to worry about the future, Levi. Just focus on the present. Make a choice you’ll regret the least.”

            The shorter male looked down at the table, mulling over his friend’s wise words. It’s true that it’s the first time he was really invested in someone. Looking back, his feelings towards his past relationships were only half of what he felt for Eren. And they were not even together so that’s saying something.

            “Thanks, Far. I’m sorry for taking my stress out on you,” Levi apologized.

            The blond gave him a cheeky smile. “I’d do anything for you, you know that. But what happened earlier cannot happen anymore, alright? Especially not now when you’re falling for someone.”

            Levi nodded in understanding. “I know.”

            “Good.” Farlan squeezed his hand before retracting his own. “Now, let’s eat! Your whining just makes me hungrier.”

            The raven shot him a playful glare in response and then returned to eating his burger. Talking to Farlan had been enlightening. If only he did it earlier rather than jumping his bones, they could have avoided awkward moments. But what’s done had been done and Levi would just have to face tomorrow as a new man. Suddenly, he felt invigorated.

            The two of them had been so absorbed with their heart-to-heart that they didn’t see an all-too-familiar brunet waltzed in and then left immediately as his viridian eyes landed on them holding hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all you readers!   
> Everything will be fluffy for a while just to properly Eren and Levi's relationship and then there will be angst. Lots of it. So please stay tuned for it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm falling in love but it's falling apart  
>  I need to find my way back to the start"_
> 
> \- Into Your Arms, The Maine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idiots being idiots. Mild angst and too much fluff.

            When Monday morning came, Levi buzzed in excitement. Knowing that his favorite brunet—Hanji had been officially demoted to second most tolerable brown-haired person—would be waiting for him like he always did at the start of the week. He learned to love Mondays because of Eren. And how could he not? A hot freshman bringing him coffee was definitely on top of his reasons.

            Levi couldn’t deny he was also feeling nervous. After his talk with Farlan on Friday night, he used the whole weekend to mull things over. Ultimately, he said, ‘ _fuck it_ ’, and decided he would man up and confess to Eren first thing Monday morning. Whatever reservations he had about the future, he would just have to cross the bridge when they got there. The only fear Levi had at the moment was finding out that Eren wasn’t really serious about him and was just playing around. Which was really a stupid thought since Levi believed he wasn’t that kind of person.

            His fifteen-minute walk to the campus from his apartment was filled with happy thoughts of seeing the freshman again. However, as he entered past the gates, the raven was suddenly struck with nerves. He had to stop for a moment to calm his racing heart before walking again. Levi wanted to punch himself for acting like he was experiencing his first crush. He felt like a dork.

            Levi saw the corner of the library building and his heart thumped loudly with each step he took. There were a lot of people around but thanks to his small stature, he was able to navigate through the crowd easily.

            But when finally arrived at the usual spot, Eren wasn’t there.

            He looked around to see if the teal-eyed brunet changed his place because of the crowd, yet, there was still no sign of the younger male.

 _Maybe he’s still inside?_ Thinking that it was probably the reason, Levi went inside to look for Eren.

            The first person Levi saw was Nanaba on the counter, busy ringing up orders from customers. The line at the counter was short and he scanned for the familiar messy chocolate mop but it was nowhere in sight. He glanced at the tables but he wasn’t there either. Sadness began trickling in, but the senior brushed the feeling away. Maybe Eren was just late or he was already in the small park waiting. Just to be sure, the short male fell in line to ask his friend on the counter.

            “Morning, Levi! Haven’t seen you around for a while,” Nanaba greeted, flashing the raven a smile.

            “Hey, Nabs. I’m sorry I haven’t been coming here, but are you familiar with a tall brunet with crazy eyes?” Levi asked, tapping his fingers on the counter.

            The blonde tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “Hanji?”

            “No.” The raven shook his head. “A guy with impossibly large teal eyes. Hair like a bird’s nest?”

            Nanaba stared at the ceiling for a while, sifting through her memories. It was a good thing there was nobody behind Levi or else they’d probably be impatient with how long the barista was thinking.

            “Oh!” Her eyes widened in realization. “The cutie artist who buys coffee every Monday! Yeah, definitely an eye-catcher that one. What about him?”

            “Has he already been here?” The short male knew he was being desperate, but he really just wanted to see the brunet.

            “Come to think of it, he hasn’t shown up yet. Usually, he’d be here already.”

            “I see,” Levi answered quietly.

            Nanaba regarded him with a thoughtful expression before leaning over the counter on his arms. “Don’t tell me you’re the guy he’s been buying coffee for?”

            Levi remained silent and the blonde grinned widely at the unspoken confession. “You lucky shorty! You don’t know how many guys and girls swoon over him when he’s here. One time, he came in here in a hurry, looking like a panda that’s ready to keel over. He begged to be served first because, according to him, a certain _he_ was arriving any minute and he didn’t want to be late.”

            The raven didn’t know whether to be flattered or embarrassed with Eren’s behavior. He remembered that day very well; the brunet had been a sappy little shit then.

            “The people who were in front of the line complained, of course. But then, the guy growled at them, Levi. Growled!” Nanaba continued, arms flailing. “The customers just let him do what he wanted and his attitude turned into a complete 180. He was back into being a puppy.”

            Levi snorted as he shook his head. It was typical of Eren to be a beast in one minute and then be an overexcited puppy in the next. He found it strangely endearing and cute.

             “Thanks for the info, Nabs. Maybe I was just too dependent on the brat for coffee every week.”

            “Maybe he’s just sick or something. Are you going to buy one?”

            Levi nodded and Nanaba turned around to brew a fresh pot of coffee. While he waited for his drink, the raven started to worry about Eren. If the brunet was indeed sick, it was probably because Eren was overworking himself again. The last time they saw each other, the younger male hadn’t been sleeping well again. To confirm his suspicions, he had to find the blond mushroom Armin and ask.

            After Levi got his coffee, he made his way to seek out the biology freshman. Luck must be on his side as he saw Armin and Hanji walking just outside the Medicine building. He caught up with them as fast as his short legs could.

            “Blondie,” Levi said, tapping on Armin’s shoulder.

            Armin jumped slightly at the surprise contact but heaved a sigh of relief as he looked over his shoulder and saw Levi. Even if the senior was shorter than him, he still felt intimidated.

            “Hi, Levi!” Armin squeaked.

            “Sugarplum! How’s your weekend? You didn’t answer any of my texts again!” Hanji piped up and made a move to hug her friend.

            “Shitty four-eyes! You’re suffocating me!”

            His bespectacled friend released him from her clutches and smiled. Thankfully, she didn’t linger any longer and announced chirpily that she had to find Moblit. At last, Levi had some alone time with Armin without Hanji hounding him. For sure, if she heard him ask about Eren, she’d never stop pestering him.

            “W-what’s up, Levi?” The blond mushroom muttered shyly, choosing to look down on his shoes rather than the older male in front.

            “Eren is your roommate, right?” Armin’s head snapped up at the mention of his best friend’s name and nodded as an answer. “Why isn’t he here yet? Normally, he’d be annoying the shit out of me right now. Is the annoying brat sick?”

            Big, baby blue eyes regarded him calculatingly. “No, I don’t think so. He was still asleep when I went out. I guess he’s just sleeping in. Ever since Friday night, he’d been acting weird,” Armin explained.

            “Weird?” The raven furrowed his brows in confusion.

            “Yeah.” The blond shrugged. “You know that he applied for a job at an arts and crafts store in Karanese Ave, right?”

            “Yeah. The one near Farlan’s apartment. What about it?”

            “Well, he got the job and last Friday was sort of his orientation. Eren was pretty pumped up before he went there but when he came home that night, he looked…dead?” Armin scratched his head.  “Then the whole weekend, he was absorbed in his painting. Shut himself in his room and would only come out for bathroom breaks or when he’s hungry.”

            Levi’s worry for the brunet increased. “Is that normal?”

            “He’s only like that when he’s extremely sad or he has a deadline. Except he finished all his school works early so that he could attend his job orientation. That only means he’s sad and I don’t know why. He doesn’t speak to anybody when he gets like this,” Armin sighed.

            “Will he be okay?”

            The blond freshman looked startled for a moment at the unexpected solemn tone from Levi and then his expression changed into one of understanding. “Yes. Let’s just give him some time to calm down. At least, he’s not resorting to punches anymore.”

            The business major raised an eyebrow at the statement and Armin enlightened, “He had anger issues before.”

            Levi and Armin continued to talk to each other and the raven found the young blond easy to talk to like Eren. He couldn’t imagine himself having an easy conversation with Mikasa. While she was family, Levi wasn’t really close to her and they never would be probably especially when she would find out that he liked Eren.

            When the biology freshman bid goodbye, Levi decided to work on his thesis instead of seeking out his favorite brunet. He trusted Armin’s words to let Eren be while he was going through something.

            Anyway, it wasn’t like the art student was avoiding him.

 

* * *

 

            However, three weeks passed and clearly, there was something wrong.

            The first week since Levi had the talk with Armin, Eren was nowhere in sight even once even when his friend said that he was regularly coming to school. Still, the blond said Eren wasn’t in the mood to talk. Apparently, whatever the brunet was going through must be hard. But Levi didn’t do anything yet and gave the boy some space.

            The second week, Eren still hadn’t shown up.

            Wednesday afternoon, Levi’s classes got canceled so he made his way to their usual spot, knowing that Hanji and Farlan would be there spending their free time. He was surprised when he saw Armin and Mikasa present, but Eren wasn’t. When he approached them, Levi immediately asked the duo on their friend’s whereabouts.

            Armin stressed that he didn’t know what’s happening with Eren. He said that the brunet was back to normal but when they mentioned that they’d meet the seniors, he blurted out a flimsy excuse and scurried away. Mikasa, on the other hand, glared daggers at Levi like he was the reason why Eren was acting skittish. The raven returned a glare of his own.

            _What’s her problem?_ _I didn’t do anything_.

            An uneasiness crept within Levi. What if he really did something wrong and Eren was avoiding him? He thought of the last time they were together and their conversation. The raven couldn’t think of any reason why. They had lunch together and had a pretty lively conversation. The young art student didn’t fail to send a text in the morning and before he went to sleep. Come to think of it, Eren had also been silent in the texting department for two weeks already.

            Levi didn’t like the sinking feeling in his gut. Maybe he had really done something to scare away Eren. Hanji hadn’t done anything wrong as far as he knew since she’s too busy screaming about her experiments and Eren admitted he found Hanji amusing albeit eccentric. Farlan couldn’t be the reason since he rarely joined them and whenever he did, the brunet acted civilly to him despite some strained feelings at times. That only left Levi and he was at a loss.

            Throughout the afternoon, the raven acted indifferently like he wasn’t feeling restless inside. Farlan sensed his discomfort and squeezed his thigh to give him some support; Hanji and the freshmen were oblivious.

            Before they left, Hanji suggested that they should get together outside of school. Everyone was onboard although Levi was hesitant. In the end, they all agreed to have dinner on Saturday night next week which was the only time they were all free. The raven hoped that by then, he’d already talked to Eren and fix whatever problem he had with him.

            By the third week, his suspicions were confirmed when he spotted the brunet walking towards him outside the administration building. Teal eyes widened when it landed on gunmetal ones and then before Levi knew it, Eren ran away.

            He was in a state of confusion. He didn’t know what’s wrong and why Eren was purposely avoiding him. Even more, Levi couldn’t believe he was pining. He never pined for anyone before. It was always the other way around. Little by little, Eren was changing him. With the realization, confusion was quickly replaced by anger.

            How dare Eren made him feel like this and then disappear like nothing happened? Was he just fooling him? Was it some kind of sick joke?

            Endless questions started to hound him which added to his anger. Levi couldn’t concentrate on his studies and his thesis; his mind was full of Eren. Sometimes he’d get sad and then he’d get angry again. His emotions kept piling until he finally snapped.

            The entrance to the Arts building was filled with students that Levi wondered whether he’d see Eren come out. The business student sat in one of the benches in front of the building, tapping his foot as he looked around for the familiar messy chocolate hair. Armin gave him the brunet’s schedule earlier and he was thankful that his last class was dismissed early. The raven had enough time to walk across the campus and wait for the art students to come out.

            Silver eyes remained focused on the heads of the students, his patience wearing thin by the minute. Fortunately, he caught a glimpse of Eren’s unmistakably unruly hair in the corner of his eye. As he turned his head to look at the brunet, mixed emotions washed over him.

            Eren was having a conversation with a pretty girl in pigtails and Levi felt angry, jealous, and hurt at the same time; he also kind of felt betrayed. The possibility of Eren playing him around was high at the moment and the raven couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to find out the truth.

            Thankfully, the brunet didn’t see him coming up so by the time Levi was standing in front of him, there was no time to run away like he did the last time they saw each other. Eren stood frozen in place, mouth slightly agape.

            “Can we talk?” Levi asked monotonously.

            Eren gathered his bearings for a moment before facing the girl beside him. “Thanks for your help on the paper, Mina. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            The girl, Mina, waved at Eren and left the two men alone. The younger male had his head down, refusing to look at Levi. They were both surrounded by various sounds—students rushing in and out of the building, football players practicing on the field, the laughter and voices of everyone—yet both of them were silent as if they were testing the atmosphere between them.

            Tired of waiting, Levi was the first one to break the uncomfortable silence. “Why are you avoiding me?”

            “I’m not,” came the curt reply.

            The raven scoffed. “Bullshit. I haven’t seen you for almost three weeks and when I did, you ran away like I’ve contracted some horrible disease. You can’t even look at me right now and you expect me to believe you’re not avoiding me?”

            “Damn it, Levi! Do you think it had been easy for me these past few weeks?!” Eren shouted, causing several students to look in their way.

            The older male grabbed the other male’s wrist and dragged him to a more secluded spot where people couldn’t hear them talk. “What’s gotten your panties in a twist?!”

            “Why are you here, Levi?” the brunet hissed.

            “I want to know why you’re avoiding me,” Levi demanded, his hand still gripping the other’s wrist.

            “Nothing.”

            “For fuck’s sakes, Eren. Can you just answer the damn question?!”

            “Okay, you want to know why?” The art student yanked his hand off the raven’s hold, his eyes blazing in fury. “I don’t have any more reason to get close to you!”

            Thin eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

            “I like you, Levi, okay? I really like you and I’ve been a fool to think that you’d actually like me back. I thought you also have feelings for me since you’re always nice to me and you never complained when I text you random shit.” His hands clenched into fists on his side. “But I was wrong. You don’t see me as more than a friend because you already have someone.”

            Levi suddenly felt overwhelmed with everything Eren said. “How in the world did you come into conclusion that I’m with someone?”

            Eren’s lips pursed in bitterness and his knuckles were turning white with how hard he was clenching his fists. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before answering, “Friday night two weeks ago, I was on my way back from my part-time job and decided to stop by at McDonald's. I saw you and Farlan.”

            Friday night?

            Oh, right. That night when Levi made the stupid decision to fuck with Farlan and then his friend had a craving for greasy food afterward. But they were just eating and Eren knew they were just friends unless Hanji told him their history which was highly unlikely.

            “So just because we were eating in a fast food chain, you automatically assume that we’re together?”

            Eren gave him a sad, bitter smile. “How can I not? You were holding hands and you were looking at each other with a fond look in your eyes. It didn’t help that you were wearing a jersey with the name Church on the back. So it’s either you had his shirt in your apartment or you were over at his.”

            The memories of the night came flooding back to Levi and muttered a curse under his breath. “Eren, it’s not what you think.”

            “You should’ve just told me that you were together. I feel so stupid right now.”

            “Eren, it’s not—”

            “I should’ve known you weren’t interested in me.”

            “You got it—”

            “God, I feel like such a fool.”

            “No, that’s not—”

            “Should’ve known better.”

            “Would you just shut up for a minute and let me explain?!” Levi spat and Eren fell silent. “I am not with Farlan. Never had and never will. If you really wanted to know so badly, we’re friends who sometimes fucked.”

            The brunet visibly paled at the raven’s confession and his beautiful eyes started to water. As much as the older male wanted to reach out and comfort him, he knew he had to come clean for Eren to understand.

            “I’ve never been with anybody seriously in the last year. Too much fighting and heartbreak and honestly, I can’t deal with all of the drama. So, long story short, I resorted to hook-ups now and then just to relieve stress. Farlan was one of them but we stopped doing it months ago when he became more like a brother to me. And then, you came along.”

            Eren’s arms wrapped around his stomach as if shielding himself from Levi. “What about me?” he asked in a small voice.

            “You’re a persistent little shit that wormed a way into my mind. When I realized that I have these feelings for you, it made me scared. I promised I’d never do that shit again but then you made me question that. And being the stupid idiot that I am, I thought I’d get rid of that with fucking. So I went to Farlan.” Levi’s voice got quieter when he said the last part.

            The young brunet looked like he was going to break down any minute as he took in the senior’s words. “I still don’t understand why you’re here.”

            Levi couldn’t hold himself any longer and came closer to Eren. When he cupped his face with his hands, he felt the brunet tense under his touch but he forced him to look into his eyes. The raven brushed away some tears that escaped.

            “Because you were still there on my mind after that,” he said. “Farlan didn’t know the reason why I went there and when I told him my problem, he got angry and chewed me out. When you saw us that night, he was just giving me support. After all, he’s been there for me during my fucked-up relationships.”

            The emerald eyes he admired softened considerably but still held reluctance. Levi continued to brush the brunet’s smooth cheeks with his thumb and then rested his head under Eren’s chin. “You don’t know how badly I wanted to see you and tell you how much I really like you.”

            Eren tensed once more but, a second later, his arms enveloped Levi in a tight hug. It was the raven’s turn to be surprised and returned the gesture with a small smile on his face. They clung to each other for a few moments, enjoying their reunion. It might not be what Levi had in mind, but it didn’t matter.

            Levi was enjoying Eren’s warmth and scent surrounding him that he almost didn’t hear him talk.

            “So… you really like me?” Eren asked with a playful tone.

            The raven looked up and saw the brunet’s eyes sparkle with mirth. How he had missed staring at them. “Yes. I like you, you shitty brat.”

            The younger male chuckled and squeezed him tighter. “You don’t know how happy I am right now, Levi. Thank you for giving me a chance.”

            Levi could feel himself blush and tried to hide it by burying his face once more in Eren’s neck. “I’m sorry for being an idiot.”

            “And I’m sorry for running away when we saw each other last time,” Eren said, caressing his back with soft touches.

            “I’m scared, Eren,” Levi admitted. “What if you end up leaving me like what they did? What if I couldn’t give you the time that you need?”

            “I won’t. I’ll be here, I promise. And don’t worry about time, we can work something out,” the brunet assured him.

            The raven nodded. “Can we just take it slow? I want to make things right with you.”

            “Sure, whatever you want. I don’t want to pressure you either.”

            Levi felt lighter for the first time in weeks. Pouring out his feelings to Eren certainly helped even more so that the two of them were in mutual understanding. He thought that the younger male would run away when he knew about him and Farlan and yet he didn’t.

            “Levi? Promise me you won’t sleep around anymore?”

            “I promise. To be honest, I imagined it was you I was doing it with,” Levi confessed with a straight face, causing Eren to stutter.

            “W-what? M-me? Tha-that’s—fuck!” The brunet’s blush traveled from his face to the tips of his ears. “Pervy, old man! Are you teasing me? I thought you wanted to take it slow?!”

            The older male decided to tease him. “Oh, I do. We will definitely take it _nice_ and _slow_ ,” he purred.

            Eren’s head looked like all the blood from his body suddenly made a home in his face, judging by how red he was. He started muttering incoherent words and his hands waved around. Levi laughed at the conflicted emotions Eren was having and the brunet shot him a glare.

            “Come on. Let’s have lunch before you start jizzing in your pants.”

            “Levi!”

 

* * *

 

            Levi almost forgot about the dinner Hanji set up with the group until she bombarded him with texts Saturday afternoon. He felt a little bit silly meeting with the younger ones but he had to admit that they all got along just fine—well, Mikasa, not so much. He hit Eren up and asked if he wanted to go together to which the brunet readily agreed. Levi told him he’d pick him up in front of his residence hall.

            He felt he was going on a date with Eren as he dug through his closet for something to wear. He wanted to look nice for somebody important to him. Also, Eren mentioned that he wanted to tell the group that they were officially dating. Levi couldn’t wait to see the look on Mikasa’s face. In the end, the raven settled for a grey crew-neck sweater and dark denim jeans, completing the look with brown chukka boots. He spritzed some cologne on, grabbed his jacket and other important stuff, and headed out.

            Eren was already waiting outside the hall wearing a white shirt paired with dark jeans. His forest green jacket was hanging on his arm and he seemed to be unbothered by the chilly wind. As Levi approached him, the brunet gave him a big smile and a wave. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing him.

            “Aren’t you cold?” Levi asked.

            “Nope! I’m pretty hot.” Eren winked and the raven playfully punched his arm. “No, seriously. I don’t get cold easily so it’s fine.”

            “Whatever you say, brat.”

            “Let’s go?” the brunet offered. The couple walked to the bus stop just a few blocks away from the university.

            “What about Armin? Isn’t he coming?”

            “He already left with Mikasa. They brought his car. I stayed behind so I can be with you alone. And I wanted to tell we’re together in front of everybody!” Eren declared, excitement evident in his tone.

            “Sappy brat,” the business student muttered. “My cousin is going to kill me.”

            “She’s going to be fine! Mika does have the tendency to threaten the people I date, but she means well. She’s too protective of me ever since we met.”

            “That’s because she likes you, idiot.”

            “And I’ve been telling her countless times that I just see her as a sister,” he clarified. “Not that I needed another one. Izzy’s already giving me enough migraines as it is. Did I tell you that she called me last week in the middle of the night and started bawling because Mom didn’t allow her to dye her hair red? She kept going on for two hours. My ears were bleeding.”

            Isabel (or Izzy) was Eren’s fourteen-year-old sister. Based on a family photo shown to Levi, she looked like a female version of Eren. They had the same big, green eyes except hers were plain green but still vibrant, while Eren’s were a mixture of green, blue, and yellow. According to the older Jaeger sibling, his sister was loud-mouthed and annoying, but beneath all his complaints, Levi knew he deeply loved his sister.

            They spent the 45-minute bus ride talking more about their families. Levi found out that Eren’s father was a doctor and his mother was a nurse before she became a full-time housewife. In exchange, the older male told him all about his family’s situation and the brunet listened intently. Eren didn’t give him pity but instead voiced out that he’d like to meet his mother someday. Levi slightly blanched at the thought of meeting the Jaegers. First of all, he didn’t know if their relationship would even reach that point and second, if it did, he wouldn’t know what to do since all of his past relationships ended before it happened. However, there was a small part of him that wanted to meet his family and he’d just have to deal with it when they get there.

            The bus stopped at Trost, a small town filled with specialty restaurants and stores located along the riverside. It’s a generally peaceful and lively place which people loved. Levi and Eren walked side by side, their hands constantly brushing but not holding completely. They reached the Italian bistro Hanji told the raven in her text.

            It was a two-storey establishment, adorned with reds and greens. Gold, round pendant lights hanged over the wooden tables and chairs, giving the place a warm and cozy environment. A loud guffaw from the second floor erupted and the couple already knew its owner. As they made their way up, Eren interlaced their fingers and smiled at Levi. His face heated up immensely but didn’t let go. His heart also started beating wildly with each step they took. Levi could already hear Hanji’s loud voice and Armin’s squeaks. Unconsciously, he gripped Eren’s hand tightly but the brunet didn’t protest and let him squeeze his hand.

            The second floor of the bistro was the same as below, but it had floor-to-ceiling windows which provided a great view of the river sparkling under the sunset. They spotted the group in a community table positioned by the window.

            “Levi! Eren!” Farlan was the first one to notice the couple.

            All heads turned to look at them and Hanji shrieked when she saw their joined hands. Immediately, she jumped out of her seat and bounced to them.

            “Is this what I think it is?” she asked excitedly. When they both nodded, she let out another shriek and hugged them.

            “Oh my god, oh my god! You two are so cute together!” Hanji released Eren but didn’t let go of the raven. “I told you-you're going to meet somebody special! Remember our deal, shorty!”

            “Fuck,” Levi cursed silently.

            “But I’m so, so, so happy for you! You deserve it, pumpkin. Now, let’s go and introduce the new couple to the group!” The brunette dragged Levi and Eren towards the table and announced that they were together.

            Armin flashed a big smile at Eren and gave him a thumbs up; Farlan and Eren shook hands after a slight hesitancy on the latter’s part, while the blond gave Levi a pat on the back and a sly smirk; Moblit was also present and gave them a smile; and Mikasa just glared at his cousin mostly.

            Their dinner was filled with joy and raucous moments initiated by none other than Hanji. Levi had never felt more content than he was at the moment. He turned to look at the gorgeous man beside him and reached out to hold his hand under the table. Eren looked at him with tenderness and wrapped the pale hand with his own.

            Being surrounded by his friends and Eren, things were definitely changing and he could only hope that it would be for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was going to be a short chapter but welp
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading the story! Fluff will continue for a while and then the real angst will start. You don't know how I'm so excited to get to that part. 
> 
> Hit me up here or in Tumblr: **justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I want you to know,  
>  With everything, I won't let this go.  
> These words are my heart and soul."_
> 
> \- With Me, Sum 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never planned for smut in this chapter which was probably why I was late in posting this.   
> So without further ado, here's the chapter consisting of fluff, smut, and fluff in exact order.

            If only Levi had met Eren before, maybe he would never have such a distasteful outlook on relationships.

            A month had passed since the two of them got together and so far, everything was smooth sailing. Levi expected Eren to hog more of his time, but he didn’t. They stuck to their Monday coffees and Thursday lunches. The only thing that changed in their routine was that Eren finally had a legitimate reason to be touchier in public.

            Aside from hand holding, Eren wasn’t shy when it came to hugging him in front of his friends or draping an arm on his shoulder while they’re walking. At first, Levi jerked away from the boy but apologized quickly. The younger male didn’t seem to mind and let the raven dictate the pace of their relationship from then on. Although, there were still times when Eren couldn’t help but get possessive of him especially when Farlan was present.  

            Levi also liked how Eren wasn’t the demanding type of boyfriend. He respected his time and whenever they didn’t see each other, they would just text or call for a while. Both of them had busy schedules, anyway. The raven was busy with his thesis, going back and forth with his adviser, and the brunet was busy juggling studies, a part-time job, and his college basketball team. Yes, he got in and the older male still remembered how Eren came rushing just to tell him the news. While it was good that he had extra-curricular activities, Levi worried that it would take a toll on his body. But the brunet was quick to assure that he would take care of himself and the raven had no choice but to support him.

            Sometimes he would ask himself how he even managed to land a guy like Eren. Athletic, artistic, and, overall, a perfect boyfriend. Levi knew he could have anyone he wanted yet the brunet chose to be with him. He told Eren he must be out of his mind and the younger male just laughed and hugged him.

            The first time they kissed was short and sweet. Eren was over at Levi’s apartment one Sunday morning armed with brunch. The raven was in front of his laptop in the living room, finishing his thesis outline when the brunet knocked on his door. As he opened it, emerald eyes widened and his visitor’s breath hitched.

            “What?” Levi asked curiously.

            “I’m not prepared for this. God, have you seen yourself?” Eren breathed out.

            “Is there something on my face?” The shorter male lightly rubbed his cheeks for any dirt.

            “No, no. But… you didn’t tell me you wore glasses!” The younger male cried.

            “Well, my eyes strain when I use my laptop for too long,” Levi explained.

            “Damn, you look hot. I mean, you’re already hot without them but your hotness levels—”

            The raven cut him off with a chaste kiss on his lips. “Good morning to you, too.”

            Eren was stunned by what happened and just stood in the doorway with eyes bulging. His face started to redden and his lips slowly spread until he was grinning widely. Levi rolled his eyes at his childish boyfriend but let out a small smile of his own. In the end, Eren stayed at his apartment until the evening, helping out Levi whenever he can and distracting him with kisses here and there.

            Their little friend group also made Saturday dinner at the Italian bistro down in Trost a custom. Unsurprisingly, it was Hanji who forced everyone to do it. She said that their group dynamic was one of a kind and that it should be celebrated.  But Levi guessed that she was just happy since Hanji never really had any other friends aside from him and Farlan. Others just saw her as some unimportant weirdo which she was sometimes—a weirdo but not unimportant.

            There were also a few additions to their group namely Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer, and Sasha Blouse. Connie and Sasha were Mikasa’s classmates in most of her engineering subjects and were also a couple. Everybody was cool with them since Connie was quite the joker and Sasha had an unbelievable bottomless hunger. Armin commented how Sasha looked a lot like Hanji minus the glasses. But the person Levi couldn’t believe that was invited was Jean.

            Jean was Eren’s teammate in the basketball team and from what Levi heard the two had been bickering since the first time they met. The brunet didn’t fail to always tell him how one of his teammates looked like a horse and neighed like one. So when Levi and Eren had one afternoon free, the raven was surprised to see his boyfriend walking with a guy with a long face. The two of them were wearing their practice uniforms and he knew that it was Jean, the horseface guy. When Eren introduced them to each other, the two-tone-haired guy seemed nice and made small talk with him.

            Until Eren and he started to fight about what was the best-tasting burger in the city.

            How Levi endured the half-hour long squabble, he didn’t know. At one point, he had to act as a referee between them because he was pretty sure that fists would be flying if he didn’t stop them. And even after that, Eren still invited Jean to come to their Saturday dinner which the latter accepted. It might have been the brunet’s worst decision because when Jean laid his eyes on Mikasa, he hounded her like a puppy.

            Mikasa, of course, didn’t waste time and turned him down in front of the group. Eren laughed at his demise and Jean sulked for the whole night. Levi flicked his boyfriend’s nose and scolded him for being so childish and Armin tried to cheer the new addition up. It was Farlan that eased the tension away in the end. If there was one person who could make it all better, it was him. The architecture student had always been the voice of reason. He could stop any fights without the use of force or violence.

             Speaking of Mikasa, his cousin was still unhappy about his relationship with Eren, though she had been less hostile to him. They even had a decent conversation once when she asked about his mother. Apparently, her parents wanted to see them again. The cousins may not be in great terms at the moment, but Levi was glad that they at least had some improvements.

            At that point in his life, Levi was incredibly happy. He had a great boyfriend, great friends, and his studies were coming along just fine. However, there was a nagging feeling inside his head when he thought about how many months he had left before graduation. His dreams of moving to Sina hadn’t changed but then how would Eren feel about that?

            Levi shook his head. Overthinking things would certainly not help him. He’d just have to wait and see how things would fall into place. The important thing was he was enjoying his time with Eren.

 

* * *

 

 

            Everything was still going smoothly by the time they hit their second-month mark. But as much as Levi liked how Eren respected his requested to go slow, his desire to claim and be claimed grew steadily each day. They never went anywhere further than making out which left the both of them all hot and bothered.

            It wasn’t only the lust Levi was holding back—he was also preventing himself from being overly sentimental towards the brunet. The business student wasn’t just used to being really committed to someone and he was a tiny bit afraid that he would do something wrong. In the past, he was indifferent towards doing normal couple-y things. But with Eren, he wanted to experience everything.

            The overwhelming feelings made him frustrated and snippy. Levi wanted to take it slow and at the same time, he just wanted to drop his principles. His frustration was very evident on his face while he and Eren were cuddling on the couch of his apartment. They had just gotten home from the Saturday dinner with the gang and he invited the brunet to stay for the night. They were watching some sci-fi movie when the obtrusive thoughts came crashing down on the raven. His face must have shown his turmoil because a second later, Eren grasped his hand and looked at him with concern.

            “Hey, you okay?” he asked softly.

            “Fine,” Levi answered without looking at him.

            “You’re not fine, Levi. You look like you swallowed a whole lemon,” Eren dismissed him, grabbing the remote to turn off the television. “What’s bothering you? Is it because I stole your pizza slice earlier? I said I was sorry, didn’t I? I was just too hungry after practice.”

            “It’s not that, Eren…” he sighed.

            “Am I boring you then? Should I just go home?” the brunet said dejectedly.

            Eren made a move to stand but Levi quickly held him back. “No, it’s not that. I’m just…” He suddenly felt stupid and immature for his actions. “I hate you.”

            That’s not what he was supposed to say but it came out before he could think. Eren looked like he was going to burst out in tears and Levi began to panic.

            “No! I don’t mean that! I hate you not because I hate you.” Words clearly were not his strong suit and somebody ought to shut him up right now. “I hate you because you make me want to be sappy! I want to do cheesy shit with you like all couples do.”

            “For a second there, I thought you’re gonna break up with me.” Eren heaved a sigh of relief. “So what kind of cheesy stuff you want to do?”

            “I don’t know! Do I look like I’m an expert on that? That’s not even the worst thing I want to do.”

            “It isn’t?”

            “I want to have sex.”

            That sent Eren into splutters, making his whole face turn red. “W-what? I thought you wanted to take it slow?”

            “That’s the problem! I don’t think I can wait anymore.” Levi straddled Eren’s hips and placed his hands beside his head, trapping the brunet between him and the couch. “You can’t blame me after seeing you in your uniform earlier.”

            Eren had basketball practice in the afternoon and the raven thought it would be a good idea to drop by. That way, they could go together for their dinner with the gang. Levi detested sweaty people but when he saw his boyfriend during practice, he saw things in a different light. Or maybe because it was just Eren. It didn’t help that their uniforms showed off his toned arms that the older male had taken a liking to. While he watched, he couldn’t help but wonder if his boyfriend had the upper body strength to lift him because that would be so hot…

            And Levi’s mind was plagued with impure thoughts while he continued to watch Eren get all sweaty.

            Unable to control himself any longer, Levi crashed his lips on Eren’s. He nibbled, sucked, and tugged on the other’s lower lip and then broke away with a sly smirk when the younger male started to get aggressive. The brunet groaned at the loss of contact and wrapped his arms around the raven’s waist to pull him closer. The two resumed their lip-locking and Levi grabbed the chocolate locks to stay in place.

            As the heat intensified between them, Eren slid down his hands on Levi’s ass and squeezed. The action made the raven gasp and the brunet took it as a cue to dive in. Levi happily let Eren have the upper hand and savored his taste.

            Somewhere in the back of his mind, a small voice questioned his rash decision but was immediately squashed when Eren ground his erection to meet his. Levi pulled away and moaned loudly as he felt his lover’s hardness. The younger male gazed at him with lust-blown eyes with his hands kneading his backside. The raven latched his mouth on the strong jaw and trailed open-mouthed kisses until he reached his earlobe.

            Levi nipped on the lobe before whispering seductively, “How about we take this to bed, big boy?”

            “Are you sure about this?” Eren asked breathily.

            The raven ground his hips down and it was the brunet’s turn to let out a moan. “I think that answers your question.”

            Eren wasted no time in lifting him up, hands secured on Levi’s ass. The younger male’s biceps flexed as he carried him like he weighed nothing. Eren was strong and he would put that to good use. Levi wrapped his legs around the brunet as they crossed the living room to get to the bedroom. Their mouths remained connected until the raven was unceremoniously dumped on the bed.

            The tall brunet stood at the foot of the bed with hunger in his eyes; Eren looked like a feral animal ready to devour his prey. Slowly, as if giving a show, he took off his shirt in an alluring way. Little by little, the expanse of smooth, tanned torso was revealed. It was definitely a mouthwatering sight and Levi drooled as his eyes roamed over the exposed skin. Eren leaned down to capture his mouth and his hands traveled beneath his shirt to toy with his nipples. The raven arched to the touch, getting lost in the pleasure.

            “I’ll take care of you,” Eren whispered against his lips. He lifted the hem of Levi’s shirt and pulled it over his head. The brunet licked his lips as he feasted on the half-naked raven with his eyes.

            Eren attacked the pale neck with bites and sucked until it let dark, purple marks. Normally, Levi would threw a fit but he didn’t care at the moment because he wanted to let everybody know he belonged to someone. His lover’s mouth travelled down and latched to one of his hardened nipples making the smaller male mewl. All of Levi’s senses were overridden with pleasure that he didn’t realize Eren was tugging down his sweatpants and boxers. The pleasure only strengthened as the brunet dragged his tongue from the base to the tip of his dripping cock.

            Levi clutched the sheets under his fingers as Eren sucked the tip and the raven moaned loudly when the brunet engulfed his manhood with a hot mouth. The lewd sounds coming from his mouth got louder as the younger male started bobbing up and down the shaft. Too much, everything was too much. He tugged on Eren’s hair and involuntarily bucked his hips upwards. Eren pinned his hips down and continued sucking his cock like his life depended on it. Levi could already feel he was nearing his limit.

            “If you’re not going to stop, I’m going to cum,” the raven managed to choke the words out in between pants.

            Eren released his cock with a pop and stood to unbuckle his belt. His eyes which were fully blown with desire didn’t tear away with his own silvery ones as the brunet pulled down his pants and then his boxers. Levi bit his lip as the brunet’s dick sprang into view.

            “I want to taste you,” the raven stated.

            “You can do that next time,” Eren assured. “Right now, I want you to feel good.”

            And Eren didn’t disappoint. Levi felt he was being touched for the first time. Long, tanned fingers left burning trails down his chest, sides, and thighs.  His lover held him with the right amount of pressure, letting him know who he belonged to and also giving him the freedom to move at the same time.

            Before, Levi wouldn’t let anyone have control over him. He wanted to be the one to dictate the pace but that night, he relinquished it to Eren. He never thought that sex with the handsome brunet would be entirely different from what he had with others. It was then that he understood that he was already in too deep.

            He gazed down at the art student who was currently alternately leaving marks and placing gentle kisses on his hips. The older male could see the tender smile Eren was sporting, showing off the little dimple on his left cheek, and the long lashes resting on his cheekbones every time his eyes closed. Cupping the brunet’s face, he urged him to move up so they were facing each other. He brushed his thumbs over the cheekbones which were littered with faint freckles.

            Very softly, Levi kissed Eren. “I love you.”

            The brunet’s emerald eyes went wide as saucers, shining brightly in the moonlight. His mouth gaped like a fish out of the water and Levi would have laughed at him if it weren’t for the romantic atmosphere. They stayed silent, just gazing at each other, until the younger male spoke up.

            “You’re not just saying that because we’re naked, are you?” Eren asked, dubiously.

            Levi flicked his forehead. “Way to ruin the mood, shitty brat.”

            The brunet chuckled, revealing his cute dimple again. “I love you too, Levi. I’m so happy.”

            “Me, too.”

            When they kissed, it felt liberating now that their true feelings were out in the open. There was nothing holding them back anymore. Eren picked up where he left off and stroked Levi’s cock.

            “Obviously, I didn’t kill the mood,” he stated as he kissed the raven’s neck. “Where are—”

            “Top left drawer,” Levi cut him off, already impatient with all the prolonged foreplay.

            When Eren got all the necessary things, he immediately poured lube all over his fingers and reached out to Levi’s entrance. The first finger went in and the raven bit his lip to stop noises coming from his mouth. He clutched the sheets when the brunet put the second finger in and started scissoring. All his efforts went to waste, though, when three fingers started curling into his prostate as Levi released a wanton moan. It spurred Eren on and abused the sensitive bundle of nerves over and over again. He was once again on the verge of orgasm and had to grab a fistful of sweaty brown locks to stop the brunet of his movements.

            “No more,” he growled. “Put your cock in me right now.”

            Eren teased his entrance with the tip of his dick and Levi clearly wasn’t pleased as he glared at the younger male. When he nudged and entered, the raven’s eyes rolled at the back of his head. He wrapped his legs around Eren’s back to push him further in and both of them moaned when the brunet was sheathed up to the hilt. Levi felt so deliciously full with the stretch and it didn’t take him long enough to adjust. He wanted to feel more of Eren.

            Levi wriggled his ass a sign for Eren to move. The brunet in turn rolled his hips slowly, enjoying the warmth that enveloped his manhood

            “So hot, Levi. So… tight.” The last word was spoken simultaneously with a sharp thrust that made the raven groan in pleasure. Eren began to pick up the pace and left the raven in whimpers and moans under him.

            “Eren… faster… harder…” he begged.

            The younger male slid out until only the tip remained inside and slammed back in. Eren obeyed the raven’s command to go fast and hard. He didn’t mind the burning feeling of scratches on his back as the pain mixed well with the pleasure. The brunet buried his face in the crook of the other’s neck and sucked at the junction between his neck and shoulder. He adjusted his angle, looking for Levi’s sweet spot, and was rewarded with a scream.

            Eren rammed over and over until his lover was reduced to a screaming mess. “Eren! I’m—fuck—cumming. Cumming!”

            Levi came in thick, white ribbons, coating his stomach. His involuntary tightening had Eren thrusting rapidly as he neared his own climax. After a few more erratic thrusts, he reached his orgasm and spilled his seed on the condom. Quickly, he pulled out of Levi and removed the rubber, tying it up before tossing it into the bin.

            “Do you want to take a bath?” Eren whispered to his boyfriend who had his eyes covered with his arm.

            “No,” he panted. “Wash cloth and then cuddle.”

            The brunet did exactly what he was told. He made sure that Levi was wiped thoroughly because he knew the older male would be cranky in the morning if he would wake up with dried jizz. He rummaged his drawers for a clean pair of boxers and helped the raven to put it in. After taking care of Levi, Eren hopped into the bathroom for a quick shower. All the while, he had a goofy smile on his face that stayed until he was back on the bed beside his boyfriend.

            Levi was already half-asleep by the time Eren went under the covers but snuggled up to him when he felt the heat emanating from the brunet’s body. They wrapped their arms around each other and the raven conked out in a matter of seconds. Eren, on the other hand, laid awake, carding his fingers through the black locks and thought of how he was lucky to have Levi by his side.

            Soon enough, Eren also joined Levi in dreamland, hearts full and souls content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said it on my [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com/post/176917356894/i-feel-like-sakunami-datekos-libero-is-eren-and) and I'll say it again here: Sakunami from Haikyuu (Dateko libero) is Ereri's lovechild. 
> 
> I'll be probably late again in posting the next chapter because I have to write four articles and will be out of town for a week. Questions and comments are very much appreciated!
> 
> P.S. I promise to improve my writing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"You are the best one of the best ones."_
> 
> -Stolen, Dashboard Confessional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhhh! I can't seem to stop writing fluff!
> 
> Levi is very, very soft in this one. I forgot to tell that he would be a bit OOC for this fic most of the time. Although I really think he's a softie underneath all of that angstiness which only a handful of people could uncover. 
> 
> Please enjoy this tooth-rotting fluff chapter!

            Levi was aware that his relationship with Eren was still in the honeymoon stage, but he honestly didn’t care as he enjoyed learning so much about his boyfriend as the weeks go by.

            Like, for example, how Eren hated eggplants with his whole life. One time, the brunet dragged him to the supermarket to stock the raven’s fridge because he wanted to cook for him whenever he came by. While they’re at the produce section, Levi picked up an eggplant which was immediately snatched from his hand to put them back.

            “We don’t need them. They’re disgusting,” Eren simply said and pushed the cart away from the vegetable.

            The younger male also had some mild obsession with face masks. He stayed over for the night again after one of their group dinner and the older male didn’t know whether to laugh or scowl when Eren stood in front of him, holding a bundle of Korean animal face masks and blocking his view of the TV.

            “What do you like? The pig, panda, penguin, cat, or dog?” the brunet asked.

            “The fuck I’m going to do with that?”

            “Obviously, we’re going to put them on our faces. Now, tell me what animal do you want?” Eren insisted.

            “I’m not going to slap that ridiculous thing on my face,” the older man dismissed.

            Eren was having none of Levi’s attitude so he straddled his lap and shoved the masks in his face. “Come on, Levi! They’re great for the skin and the designs are so cute!”

            Levi reached for his tea on the small table beside the couch and ignored his childish boyfriend. But, as usual, Eren was a stubborn shitty brat and had the audacity to pout and stare at Levi with his freakishly big emerald eyes. The raven could feel himself waver slightly but he stood his ground. That was, until, the brunet opened his mouth to say his next words.

            “Please, babe?”

            The pet name was the last straw. Levi had always thought that pet names were tacky but hearing it from Eren paired with his puppy dog look, it destroyed all of his rationality. He was pissed at himself for being so weak to Eren’s charms.

            “Fine. Be glad I love your bratty face,” he conceded and the younger male’s face brightened up. Eren could be childish most of the time but Levi always loved seeing the other happy. He never thought he’d be able to do that to another person. His life had been monotonous pre-Eren and now that he had him, he was more than willing to change.

            “I’m going to take the dog. How about you?” Eren asked.

            “The panda,” the raven replied as the brunet handed him the small pack.

            Eren had a beautiful smile on his face that Levi found it hard to voice out a snide remark while he carefully put on the panda mask on his face. When he was done, the younger male put his on and pulled out his phone from his pocket. The brunet draped an arm over Levi’s shoulder and pressed him closer to him. The older male thought he just wanted to cuddle but then he saw the phone’s front camera turned to them. Levi tried to wiggle away but Eren’s hold on him was too strong. In the end, he let the brunet do what he wanted.

            The art student also slept over at his apartment usually after his shift at work which was four times a week. Levi joked that Armin should already ask for a new roommate to which Eren just stuck his tongue out. Even if he had a room and a bed of his own back at the residence hall, the brunet didn’t mind squeezing in with Levi as it gave him a reason to be closer to him. Eren could be compared to a clingy koala when sleeping but Levi secretly loved it.

            Levi was so used in seeing the brunet’s face so much in his apartment that he felt lonely when Eren went home to Shiganshina for Thanksgiving. The raven decided not to go home to Stohess since he thought it was better to save money for the Christmas break. It broke his heart a little when he heard the slight sadness in his mother’s tone when he called.

            He should’ve known that his mother would do something. He shouldn’t have been surprised to see her standing outside his apartment in the morning of Thanksgiving with a sweet smile on her face.

            “Mom! What are you doing here?” Levi exclaimed as he ushered his mother inside.

            “What? I can’t visit my baby boy?” Kuchel asked.

            Levi rolled his eyes. “I’m almost twenty-two, Mother. I’m not a baby anymore.”

            Kuchel Ackerman turned to face his son. It was like looking at his female version, only shorter and had softer features. However, she was also downright scary when she wanted to be. It must be an Ackerman thing—even Mikasa was terrifying. His mother’s grey eyes narrowed as she cradled his face with her hands.

            “Levi Timothée Ackerman.” He cringed at his mother’s use of his full name. “Even if you are sixty years old and suffering from arthritis, you will still be my baby boy. Got that?”

            He couldn’t do anything but nod. “God, you’re embarrassing me.”

            She patted his cheeks before making her way to the kitchen and opening the fridge. “I’m not embarrassing you when it’s just the two of us. Unless you have someone in your bedroom listening in?”

            The raven chose to ignore her statement. “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve picked you up.”

            “We Ackermans might be small but we can handle ourselves just fine,” Kuchel proudly declared. “Good thing you stocked up. I’m going to make us dinner later. For now, find me a cheap motel to sleep in.”

            “What?! You’re not going to sleep in one of those shitty motels!”

            “Language,” Kuchel warned, flicking his ear. “I just thought you wouldn’t want me here.”

            “That’s ridiculous. I will not let my own mother contaminate herself by sleeping in a disease-ridden place. You will sleep in my bed and I will sleep on the couch,” Levi ordered and his mother ruffled his hair.

            “You never changed. Alright, then.”

            Levi let his mother relax in the living room while he changed the sheets. His apartment was sparkling but it didn’t hurt to sweep the floor some more. Secretly, he was glad his mother came by. Growing up with only just the two of them, he constantly worried for her. She’s one of the reasons why he was adamant to get a decent job in the future.

            When he finished, Levi took his mother’s bag to his room and made her relax on the bed. He was making tea in the kitchen when he heard the faint ringing of his phone which he probably left in his room. The raven was about to get it when the bedroom door opened and his mother had a knowing smirk on her face while holding the ringing device.

            “Levi, your ‘Babe’ is calling,” Kuchel sang.

            The business student blushed furiously as he hurriedly snatched the phone away from his mother. He cursed under his breath for forgetting that he put the pet name as Eren’s contact name. He should have just stuck with ‘Shitty Brat’. 

            “Hey,” Levi answered quietly, away from his snooping mother.

            _“Hi, babe,”_ Eren’s honeyed voice came out. _“I’m so sorry we got cut off last night. Izzy kept bothering me and I didn’t want you to hear that. Bleeding ears out is one of her special talents.”_

“You’re one to talk,” the raven grumbled.

            _“Hey! She’s much worse than me. Wait ‘til you meet her. Anyway, how are you? Got any plans today?”_

            “Not really, but my mom’s here. Guess we’ll just spend the rest of the day in my apartment or whatever she wants to do.”

            _“At least you’re not alone.”_ There was a short pause on the other line. _“I miss you.”_

            “I miss you, too, brat.” Levi eyed his mother from the corner of his eyes where she was tending to the snubbed tea. He suspected she was trying to get near him so she could eavesdrop. His apartment was small and the farthest he could get away from his mother was by the window in the living room which was only a few feet away from the kitchen.

            _“Ugh, I hear my sister coming up on the stairs. She'll probably try to convince me to talk to mom about dyeing her hair again. As if I could do something about that,”_ Eren complained.

            “Maybe she just missed you. Being away from you makes people lonely, you know?”

            _“Aww, don’t worry, babe! We’re coming back on Sunday morning. I’m going to drop by, okay? Don’t miss—IZZY GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!”_

            Levi held his phone away from his ear at Eren’s sudden outburst. He could hear two distinct voices bickering—one deep and the other high-pitched. He was an only child so it made him wonder whether he’d survive to live with a hyperactive person like Hanji or Eren’s sister. He would probably get wrinkles at a young age.

            “Battlefield’s clear?” the raven asked when he deemed it was safe to put the phone back on his ear.

            _“Yeah, she’s gone. Izzy’s the definition of a headache, that’s for sure.”_

            “Cut your sister some slack. You never know when you need her for a favor in the future,” Levi said.

            He heard the younger male sigh deeply on the other end. _“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side and say that she’s like a shitty brat or something?”_

“Babe, you’re the rightful owner of the shitty brat title. No one can take that away from you,” he chuckled, making his boyfriend groan.

            _“Why are you so mean to me?”_ Eren whined like a little child.

            “Only because I love you.” Levi realized he said the words aloud when he snuck a look at Kuchel and saw her grinning while pouring tea in the cups. She’d definitely pester him later.

            “ _Ugh, I love you, too.”_ In the background, the older male heard a door open but this time, it was a man talking. He figured it was Eren’s father due to the solemn yet authoritative tone. Even if he couldn’t see him, Levi felt intimidated.

            _“Uh-huh. Okay, Dad. I’ll be there in a sec,”_ Eren answered to his father before returning to Levi. _“Hey, babe. I’ll call again later. Dad wants me to help in the garage.”_

“It’s okay. Mom’s probably itching to have some mother-son bonding time which I’m honestly not looking forward to.”

            _“Good luck with that. I love you, Levi.”_

            Even if Eren had said the three little words time and time again, it never failed to make Levi warm on the inside. For a person who had given up on love, he never thought he’d experience this kind of feeling anymore.

            “I love you, too, Eren,” he replied softly, wishing he was saying it to the other’s face.

            After hanging up, Levi turned to get his cup of tea but halted when his mother was already carrying the cups and offered one to her son.

            “Let’s sit?” Kuchel proposed and Levi followed.

            Kuchel made herself comfortable by resting an elbow on the top of the couch and tucking one foot under the other leg. They shared a moment of silence, sipping on their teas and enjoying the warmth it brought. The November air was getting chiller as autumn was finally transitioning to winter.

            “So…” Levi’s mother started. “Care to tell me about this love interest of yours?”

            The raven groaned silently but he knew he couldn’t keep it a secret to his own mother. Blowing the steam from his cup, he answered, “His name’s Eren and he’s amazing.”

            “How so?” she urged him to continue.

            “The very definition of tall, dark, and handsome,” he gushed. “He’s a freshman majoring in art and also a member of their basketball team. He’s also Mikasa’s friend from Shiganshina.”

            “Oh really? Your uncle never told me she’s going to study in Maria when we last talked. Are you getting along with her?”

            “Let’s just say we’re not going to braid each other’s hair in the near future,” Levi scoffed.

            Kuchel just rolled his eyes at her son’s pettiness. He had never truly forgiven Mikasa for always insulting his height. Levi wouldn’t admit it to anyone but his short stature became an insecurity especially in high school. It took him years to overcome it and in university, he finally had self-confidence which also helped in the bedroom.

            “But are you happy? With Eren?”

            “Very much,” he answered without a beat.

            “Then it seems like he’s the total package,” his mother approved and leaned over to kiss his forehead. “I can’t wait to meet the special person who got my baby boy wrapped around his finger. I still need to give him the mandatory ‘ _don’t hurt my son or else’_ spiel _._ ”

            Levi groaned. “Oh god, Mom. Please don’t.”

            Kuchel snorted and continued to ask more questions about Eren and also about his friends. The rest of the morning was spent catching up and in the afternoon, the mother-son tandem wandered downtown for a bit. Yes, there were a lot of times Levi felt embarrassed by how his mother fussed over him but he was genuinely glad to see her happy and healthy.

            That night, Kuchel took over Levi’s kitchen while he went over his friends’ messages. He was tempted not to reply to Hanji. She was like a clingy girlfriend with the amount of texts she sent. Meanwhile, Farlan sent him a photo of his dog, a Pomeranian named Benjamin. The architecture major was a huge animal lover and loved gushing about them. A smile erupted on his face as he thought about how everyone was with their own families tonight.

            Dinner was extremely delicious and Levi made sure to express it to his mother. If it weren’t for her, he’d probably just reheat one of the meals Eren cooked days before and binge-watch Suits. Thanking his mother for the food, he offered to wash the dishes after they finished while Kuchel got ready for bed.

            Levi had a lot to thank for the day and it was capped magnificently when Eren called and soothed him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

            The rest of the break went by so quickly that Levi didn’t realize it was Sunday already and his mother would need to leave soon. The bus schedule to Stohess was in the afternoon so they had a few hours left to waste. Kuchel used those hours to whip up another scrumptious lunch. The raven was sure he gained a few pounds over Thanksgiving break due to his mother’s cooking.

            Levi was taking a bath when he heard the front door opened and suddenly, his boyfriend’s voice was audible. Eren had his own key to his apartment since he was mostly staying there, anyway.

            “Babe! I’m ba—oh, hello?” The raven heard the brunet speak.

            And then his mother greeted, “Well, hello there. I’m Kuchel, Levi’s mother. Eren, I presume?”

            _Oh, shit,_ Levi thought, _why is Eren here?_

            The realization that Eren and his mother were in the same room had him rushing. He tried to rinse as meticulously as possible in just a short amount of time and then dried off. Levi came out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist and saw his boyfriend and mother in the kitchen.

            “Eren! What are you doing here?” Levi questioned, hand tightly holding the towel in place.

            “I told you I’d drop by when I return, remember?” Emerald orbs wandered briefly over his naked upper half before facing Kuchel once more. “Yes, my name’s Eren Jaeger. It’s nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Ackerman.”

            “Please, just call me Kuchel,” Levi’s mother waved him off with a smile. “Levi, you better get dressed or you’re going to catch a cold.”

            The raven worried leaving the two for a moment but Eren gave him a reassuring nod. He knew that as soon as he enter his bedroom, his mother would turn into full detective mode. Grabbing the first clean shirt and sweats that he could get a hold on, he hastily put on the clothes and sprinted out of the room. What Levi didn’t expect to see was the two engaged in easy conversation.

            “I can definitely see where Levi got his good looks from. If I didn’t know he was an only child, I would have thought you’re his sister,” Eren remarked as he beamed widely at the older woman.

            “Oh, hush, you!” Kuchel lightly blushed. “When Levi was young, he didn’t like it when people tell him he looks like me. He would get mad and tell them that was impossible because he’s not a girl.”

            Levi was mortified when Eren laughed at the childhood memory. “Mom! What are you doing?!”

            “What? I’m just talking to your boyfriend,” she shrugged with a playful glint on her eyes.

            Why was this happening to him? Did he anger someone from above and now they were torturing him by putting his mother and boyfriend in the same room sharing embarrassing stories? Resigning to his fate, he made his way over to the both of them and sat next to Eren who was radiating body heat. A large tan hand snaked over his own pale one and intertwined them.

            “Would you like me to help with lunch?” Eren asked politely.

            “No, no. You stay right there with my son. He’s been lonely without you around. When he thinks I’m not looking, I see him get this distant look and then sigh very deeply. I lost count of how many times he did that that I just wanted to smack him in the head,” Kuchel chuckled but Levi wasn’t amused.

            “Great parenting right there, Mother,” the raven stated blandly.

            Kuchel continued to cook while Eren gladly shared some of his own stories. Some made Kuchel laugh heartily and Levi had to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek because of how he was able to get along with his mother quite well. She was right—Eren was the total package and he’d be damned if he’d let him go.

            The two boys salivated at the sight of lunch and they dug in shamelessly, making the raven’s mother perfectly satisfied. Eren had a big appetite so it wasn’t surprising when he kept on getting servings after servings. At one point, the brunet began to choke due to the amount of food he tried to stuff down his throat. Levi scolded him for being an overeager brat which earned him a swat on the arm from his mother.

            After eating, Eren volunteered to do the dishes while Levi helped his mother pack and straightened out the room. Out of the brunet’s earshot, Kuchel told her son how proud she was of him for overcoming his fear of commitment. She also commented how he looked genuinely happy for the first time in years.

            “I swear I’m not going to fuck this one up, Mom. If I do, I give you the permission to smack me around for the rest of my life,” he said seriously as he hugged her tightly.

            “I’m sure you won’t,” Kuchel assured, returning the hug.

            Eren got up from the couch when the two emerged from the bedroom. All of them agreed that the two boys would accompany Kuchel to the central bus station which was a 15-minute bus ride away. Throughout the ride, the older Ackerman didn’t stop fussing over her son. The brunet couldn’t help but snort at the faces Levi was making. He only stopped when his boyfriend glared darkly at him.

            “I’ll see you on Christmas, Levi. Take care of yourself, okay?” His mother reminded as she approached the couple after getting her ticket.

            At the mention of Christmas, Eren suddenly remembered something. “Wait! I forgot to tell you something!” The brunet piped up. “Mikasa’s parents actually invited you to Shiganshina for the holidays when they learned we were dating.”

            “That would be lovely,” Kuchel remarked. “It’s fine, right, Levi?”

            “If you want?” Levi scratched his head. He wasn’t close to Mikasa’s parents but they were actually very nice.

            “I’ll call your Uncle Philippe when I get home. You boys behave. And Eren?” Kuchel’s tone turned deep and low as she faced the tall brunet whose eyes widened in fear.

            “Y-yeah?”

            “Don’t hurt my son or you’ll make an enemy out of me. And believe me, you don’t want that to happen,” she warned, her face dead serious.

            Levi could only rub his face. “Mom, stop that. You’re scaring him.”

            “Y-yes, ma’am! Cross my heart and hope to die!” Eren squeaked which made the black-haired beauty giggle.

            “Okay, then! I’m off, you two. Levi, I’ll call you later.” Kuchel gave his son a hug and surprised Eren when she gave him one, too.

            The two boys stayed at the station until the bus going to Stohess left before going back to the business student’s apartment. All the way back, their hands found each other and held on as if they haven’t seen each other in over a year. The silence they shared when they got to the apartment wasn’t uncomfortable; Eren’s strong presence was enough for Levi. Never had he met someone so utterly wonderful even with his flaws. Never had he met someone who was too amazing that it sometimes made him think he didn’t deserve him. But Eren was all his and he was all Eren’s. He’d kill anyone who would try to change that.

            They were lounging in the couch, Eren sitting and Levi lying down on his lap, when the thoughts overwhelmed the shorter male. He sat up and cupped the brunet’s face and kissed him tenderly.

            “I love you,” Levi whispered against Eren’s plump lips while he brushed the other’s cheekbones with his thumbs.

            The younger male looked at him so softly and kissed the tip of his nose. “And I love you,” Eren said before kissing him on the lips.

            They stayed huddled on the couch, lost in their own little world as they wrapped their arms around each other to keep the cold off. Levi was certain he would never feel this way for another person. He could only hope that Eren also felt the same way about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the plot will get a move next chapter. It was supposed to be included in this one but when the boys got fluffy, they didn't want to stop. 
> 
> Anyhoo, thank you for subscribing and giving kudos/comments on this fic! The chapters might be longer than most people would like but I hope all of you don't stop reading it. If you have any questions or see a mistake somewhere, please let me know here or you could also reach me on my [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com)!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Can't we just stay like this, so real, so close?  
>  Does anything have to change?"_
> 
> -Stay Like This, James Morrison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated this for almost a month because I was bombarded with articles that I have to finish before the deadlines. My brain was completely fried.
> 
> And smut is hard.

            A week before Christmas break, panic began to set in on Levi.

            He wanted to say it was because he and his mother would be staying at Mikasa’s place for Christmas, but the truth was he was scared of the fact that he’s finally going to meet Eren’s parents. They were having lunch with Armin when the brunet said in passing about that one little fact.

            “My mom loves throwing parties,” Eren stated after swallowing a mouthful of pasta. “She’s nuts about cooking and all that so it became a tradition that we invite the Ackermans and Arlerts over for Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. She’s also dying to meet you and your mom, babe.”

            The fork in Levi’s hand dropped on his plate with a loud clang. “What did you say?” he asked, a little out of breath.

            “My mom’s a bit of a cooking freak?”

            Levi shook his head. “No. After that.”

            “Oh! She’s excited to meet you. Can’t stop bugging me about it ever since she found out Mr. Ackerman invited you and your mom for Christmas,” the brunet explained, failing to notice the gobsmacked look on his boyfriend’s face.

            “Why didn’t you tell me sooner!” the raven cried, tugging on the younger male’s sleeve.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “I don’t know what to do! What should I give them? Your sister? What do they like? What if they don’t like me and they’ll throw me out of your house?”

            The normally stoic and hard eyes went wide with fear and panic. The last time he met with someone’s parents was in freshman year and it was bad. While he wasn’t thrown out, his former boyfriend’s parents gave him stink eyes throughout dinner. Apparently, they didn’t like their son dating a guy coming from a broken family and a poor one at that. Levi broke up with the guy a week after.

            Eren quickly entangled their fingers to comfort him. “Hey, it’s going to be fine. They’re pretty chill. You don’t have to bring anything. Mom’s got it all covered.”

            “But still I should give them something…” Levi trailed, mentally listing possible gifts for the Jaegers.

            Armin looked astonished as he saw another side of the raven. He was used to seeing him quite reserved so panicky Levi was a welcoming sight. As the couple continued to bicker, Armin couldn’t help but snort at them, earning a glare from the raven. It took quite a while for the business student to calm down and finally accept that he would be meeting his boyfriend’s parents next week. Oh boy, wait until Hanji and Farlan got a wind of it. Levi might have to purchase rolls of duct tape for good measure.

            “Tell you what, why don’t we go to the mall on Saturday? We’re not leaving until Sunday anyway so that gives us time to look for gifts,” Eren proposed.

            The discussion ended with that and the trio was able to resume lunch without bringing up the topic again. It still amazed Levi how Eren was able to make him feel positive about those kinds of things. In the past, he would always turn down the offer of meeting parents because he thought he wasn’t good enough.

            So, when Saturday came, Levi was also on the lookout for the perfect gift for Eren’s family. The brunet wasn’t much help either as he suggested a novelty mug for his father, an apron for his mother, and nothing for his “bratty sister”. They went to every store to their liking and Eren ended up buying gifts for his family, Mikasa, and Armin while Levi came up empty-handed. The raven scowl deepened and he was starting to take out his frustrations on Eren.

            “Babe, it’s okay,” the taller male comforted. “If you really want to give them something, why don’t we just pick a bottle of wine and stop to buy flowers for Mom tomorrow? Honestly, they really don’t care whether you bring something or not. They just want to meet you.”

            Levi sighed deeply and looked at Eren with hopeful eyes. “Are you sure?”

            The brunet nodded. “Positive. Come on, let’s look at the wine selection. Anything alcoholic would make my dad happy.”

            “Can we hurry up and go home? My feet are killing me,” the raven complained.

            As they were walking towards the liquor store, Eren put an arm around Levi and leaned down until his lips brushed the shorter male’s ears. “Want me to make it up to you?”

            The deep, low voice sent shivers down his spine. Due to being swamped with exams, the pair didn’t have the luxury of time to be together. Yesterday was the last of their exams but Levi’s went later than he thought. His mind was mentally exhausted by the time he came back to his apartment where Eren was waiting for him. Both of them fell asleep almost immediately as they went to bed. Now that they finally had the time, Levi was tempted to forget all about the wine and drag him back to the apartment.

            Suddenly, an idea popped into his mind. “Alright, let’s buy that damn wine, then,” Levi said seductively.

            Eren licked his lips unconsciously and grabbed the raven’s wrist to haul him towards the store as fast as he could.

***

            _“Harder, Eren.”_ Levi’s voice was filled with pleasure.

            Eren’s eyes were glassy and blown wide as he continued touching the raven. “Levi…” he said breathlessly. The moans coming from his lover were music to his ears.

            “That feels so fucking good…” The raven growled and Eren drank in the sight of his lover.

            Inky black bangs fell on Levi’s forehead, partially covering his closed eyes. He was biting on his lower lip and his thin eyebrows knitted together caused by the sensations Eren gave him. The younger male, on the other hand, could barely hold himself. It was all too much—the sounds Levi was making, his face, and his smooth skin underneath his fingers…

            “Levi,” Eren said in between his teeth, “if you don’t stop that, I’m going to blow.”

            Hooded slate eyes opened so slowly and locked eyes with the brunet whose teal ones were swirling with emotions. “Then don’t hold back.”

            Eren rested his head on Levi’s feet and groaned loudly. “Why are you doing this to me?!”

            “I’m not doing anything. I just wanted a foot massage,” the raven said, smugly.

            When they got home, Eren was getting frisky as soon as they entered the apartment. His hands were all over Levi and he kept on kissing the other’s neck. Levi almost gave in but he wanted to tease the brunet so he asked him for a foot massage. When he agreed, he made him wait in the living room while he proceeded with his plan.

            He stripped down until he was only wearing his boxers and grabbed one of Eren’s blue dress shirts. He smirked at his reflection and made his way out of the room. Eren’s eyes were bulging out of their sockets when Levi sat down at the opposite end of the couch and stretched his legs so that they were resting on Eren’s thighs.

            At first, the art student’s touches were tentative and light until it became deeper and pleasurable. Eren’s hands were absolute magic. He never knew a foot massage could be this good and arousing.

            “You little tease,” the brunet commented after enduring the torturous massage. He couldn’t take it anymore and launched himself at Levi, completely abandoning the activity. Eren captured his lips into a fiery, passionate kiss while running his hands up and down on Levi’s milky thighs.

            Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s shoulders and returned the kiss with fervor. He missed it, he missed Eren terribly. Exams had been a pain in the ass for the past week and they both deserved a much-needed break. If Levi didn’t have Eren, he would’ve been in a bar right at that very moment, getting drunk and possibly hooking up.

            He broke the kiss to stare at the Adonis hovering above him who’s looking at him like he’s ready to devour him whole. Levi yanked him back down until there was no more space between their bodies. Their hardening members ground with each other, eliciting gasps from the two males. Two pairs of hands became tangled in the midst of undressing the other. Eren clearly had the upper hand while Levi kept fumbling on the brunet’s belt.

            The brunet unbuttoned his shirt on Levi but didn’t remove it completely, his eyes wandering over the expanse of smooth, pale skin. He quietly chuckled when he saw the fuming look on Levi’s face as he failed to remove any clothing on him. Eren pushed the raven down on the couch with one hand and he slowly removed his shirt and then his pants. The strip show he was giving was certainly approved by the shorter male, judging by the lustful gaze he was given. When he was down to his boxers, Levi sat up and mouthed his clothed erection. It wasn’t long before slender fingers tugged down the obstruction and finally tasted the real thing. It took all of the younger male’s self-control not to bury his dick into the hot cavern.

            Levi sucked and bobbed up and down on Eren’s stiff member while looking up at him. Eren bit the inside of his cheek and tangled his fingers on the lightly sweat-slicked black hair of the man below him. The scene was too erotic to look at that he almost came and the brunet had no choice but to pull away. The raven licked his lips as he released the cock on his mouth with a pop.

            With no time to waste, Eren grabbed his pants and dug into the pockets to retrieve some things. Levi was quite surprised to see the other male produce a small bottle of lube and a condom from his garment.

            “You carry that around?”

            “Never know when you might need it,” the brunet replied smoothly and popped the lube’s cap open to drizzle it on his fingers. Levi immediately spread his legs, knowing what’s coming next.

            As Eren worked him open, Levi quietly whimpered. But the moment the brunet replaced his fingers with his dick, the raven moaned shamelessly as he was pounded into the couch. However, it wasn’t until Eren hooked his legs on his shoulders and hoisted him up that he was downright shouting as he was fucked roughly. The brunet grabbed his ass and slammed it down while simultaneously thrusting upwards. The position allowed Eren to enter him deeply, making him a complete wreck. Levi was shouting, sobbing, and moaning that he was pretty sure his neighbors knew Eren’s name by then.

            Eventually, the art student’s upper body strength weakened and he decided to move them to the bedroom. Once there, he positioned themselves such that Eren was lying down while Levi was on top.

            “Ride me, baby,” he instructed and the raven gasped as he began to rock back and forth.

            Levi ran his hands all over Eren’s toned chest, stomach, and biceps; basketball certainly did him good. Finding a good spot to steady himself, he rose until the tip of the brunet’s cock was inside. He gave a small smirk to the silent predator below him and slammed down. The loud noises of pleasure continued and both males didn’t care whether they’re disturbing the whole floor.

            Eren sat up when he gained his strength and held Levi’s hips so that he could meet his thrusts. Now that they were facing each other so closely, the brunet could freely kiss and suck on his neck and collarbone. Levi could only grip on the chocolate locks and ride until his legs were aching. A little shift from Eren below him had him keening as the younger male found his sweet spot.

            “Goddamn—Eren! Ah, fuck! Shit! More!” His head lolled backward, fully exposing his throat for Eren to ravish.

            “You feel so—” A hard thrust— “fucking—” And another— “good.” They were both close to their climaxes and Eren moved his hand between them to stroke Levi’s cock.

            The raven was overridden with pleasure and was muttering incoherent words already. Levi came with a shout, splattering thick, hot cum on both of their stomachs and chests. He wasn’t even finished when Eren came soon after.

            After they found their release, Eren slumped back towards the bed, bringing Levi on top of him. Both of them were breathing heavily and waiting to come down from their high. Levi would twitch now and then from the brunet’s movements due to the overstimulation. They didn’t how much time passed until their breathing returned to normal.

            “That was amazing, babe. You’re amazing,” Eren commented, hugging the raven and placing a kiss on his hair.

            "And you’re a fucking beast. I think you destroyed my ass,” Levi groaned.

            Eren chuckled and held on to his boyfriend for a while. Eventually, they got up and cleaned themselves in the bathroom. They still had to finish packing their bags after all.

***

            The next morning, a furious knocking broke the comfortable silence of the apartment. Levi was the one to open the door and scowled when he saw his cousin standing outside the doorway. Mikasa zeroed in on the dark purple bruises on his neck immediately and fumed.

            “Wake Eren up already. Armin’s waiting at the café down the block,” she seethed and turned on her heels.

            Levi rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he went back to the bedroom to rouse the brunet. It amused him every time he looked at Eren sleeping. His wild, unkempt hair, his light snoring and occasional mumblings, and his sleeping positions. When Levi’s in bed with him, Eren would only cling to him in his sleep; but when he had the bed alone, he would sometimes lay spread-eagled, leaving no space, or sometimes he looked like he would fall from the bed.  Eren was also a heavy sleeper but Levi only recently found out how to wake him up.

            Slowly, he reached for the short hairs on his nape and tugged harshly. The brunet shot up quickly and looked around in a daze. It was a strange technique but it never failed to wake him up.

            “Huh? Levi? What’s going on?” Eren asked, confused.

            “We have to get ready, babe. Armin and Mikasa are waiting,” he calmly explained.

            The younger male stretched and yawned before giving Levi a hug. “Morning kiss?”

            “Fuck, no. Not until we brush our teeth.”

            Levi managed to restrain Eren from jumping him on the shower as he was still feeling the effects of the younger male’s pounding from last night. Plus, he didn’t want to burden Eren’s two friends who were waiting for them. He agreed that he would be hitching a ride with the trio while his mother would be driven by his Uncle Kenny later that day.

            When the couple finished getting ready, they head out to the café Mikasa mentioned. Armin spotted them and waved with a big smile on his face. Throughout the months since they met, Levi noticed the blond getting less apprehensive of him and more relaxed.

            All of them enjoyed their pancakes, omelets, and sausages before heading out. They didn’t stay long as they planned to get to Shiganshina before lunch. Externally, Levi feigned nonchalance, but the truth was, he was a nervous wreck inside. He would finally meet Eren’s family. Granted it wouldn’t be until dinnertime but still, he wasn’t used to it.

            Eren must have sensed his dread and held his hand while giving him a smile of reassurance. Levi felt pathetic for feeling like that but he really wanted the brunet’s family to like him. He was afraid he couldn’t control his sailor mouth and Eren’s parents would kick him out.

            All the negative thoughts made him tired and sleepy that he conked out halfway through the ride. Eren only woke him up when they entered Shiganshina proper. The raven rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked out the window. They passed a row of small stores with Christmas garlands hanging outside. People strolled around, walking in and out of the shops, possibly making last-minute Christmas shopping. It wasn’t a really big town as they passed the town hall, community library, and a hospital and eventually entering the residential part of Shiganshina. From what Levi saw, he figured everyone must know each other judging by the proximity of houses.

            Eren was the first to be dropped off. Levi admired the Jaegers house from outside as it was obviously one of the finer houses in the area. It was a two-storey gray craftsman house with a built-in garage and a neatly-trimmed yard. There were no fancy houses like it in Stohess, that’s for sure.

            “Thanks for the ride, Armin.” The brunet waved at his friend before turning to Levi. “I’ll pick you up later, okay?”

            Levi nodded and Eren placed a short kiss on his nose. Armin chuckled from the driver’s seat and Mikasa just groaned, “You can go now, Eren. Other people are also getting hungry. You can continue your mushy things later.”

            The art student stuck his tongue out in response to his friend’s snarky remark. He waved at them from the driveway before racing towards the front door. At the same time, Armin revved the engine and zoomed away to their own destination. It wasn’t far, just a good ten houses away. Armin parked in front of a small, charming house with a few flower beds in front.

             “This is our stop!” Armin announced, chirpily. “This is my grandpa’s house and Mikasa only lives next door.”

             The Ackerman cousins thanked their blond friend and Levi followed Mikasa to the two-storey house next door. Getting out her keys, she opened the front door and the older raven was immediately greeted by cinnamon. Mikasa offered to put their coats away to the small room to their right and gave Levi house slippers. Unfortunately, it was big on his feet but he was grateful his cousin didn’t give any remarks on it.

             Mikasa gestured to follow her and they entered the living room where an L-shaped couch was situated in front of a television. Levi looked around and nodded unconsciously to his clean surroundings. A gray fluff caught his eye and he turned to look at a small tabby, gray cat looking up at him. Instinctively, he kneeled in front of the feline.

             “Hey, beautiful,” Levi muttered.

             “Her name is Nibbles.” Mikasa also bent down to pet her cat. “She loves to eat and steal things so you better keep an eye on your stuff.”

             Just as Levi leaned his hand to pet Nibbles, she scampered away towards the sandy blond-haired man who came into the room. His amber eyes fell on Levi and broke into a gentle smile. Mikasa’s father—his uncle—welcomed him with open arms. Not too long after, an Asian woman wearing an apron sauntered in. Just like Levi, Mikasa got her looks from her mother. His relatives were all accommodating, even his cousin who toured him around. Mikasa showed him to his room and he let himself relax.

             Levi’s mother and his uncle Kenny arrived half an hour after he did. Everyone had a good time catching up over lunch. Nibbles kept rubbing her body in his pant leg and when no one was looking, he’d give her some food under the table. The rest of the afternoon was spent with the adults talking and Levi and Mikasa battling on her game console. They went on until their Uncle Kenny had to leave and both of them were still tied at two games apiece. Levi was pretty proud of himself since even though he didn’t have his own gaming console, he was still able to go head-to-head with his competitive cousin.

             Eren showed up to the Ackerman’s house just a little after 5, looking very excited. Levi couldn’t say the same for himself. Before going back to the brunet’s house, they went first to a small flower shop nearby to buy a bouquet for his mom. Since the business student knew jack shit about flowers, he let the woman from the shop chose what’s best.

             When they were in front of the Jaeger household, Levi held his breath as Eren led him inside. Just like at his uncle’s, the house smelled like cinnamon and nutmeg. The taller male guided him to the kitchen and the raven was met with a whiny voice.

             “Please, please, please, Mom! I _really_ want to dye my hair red!” A girl with dark brown hair and big green eyes pleaded. Isabel, Eren’s sister, was kneeling on a barstool and begging at his mother.

             “Stop whining, Izzy.” Eren rolled his eyes. “You know she’ll never give in.”

            Eren’s voice made the two females look at their direction and the turtleneck Levi was wearing seemed to suffocate him. Isabel was immediately in front of him in a blur.

            “So you’re Levi!” she exclaimed, flashing him a big smile similar to her older brother’s. “I’m Isabel! But you can call me Izzy for short. It’s nice to meet you! Do you want some hot chocolate? Do you want cookies?”

            The raven took a half step back, surprised at the sudden appearance of the girl close to him. For some odd reason, he thought Isabel was a female Eren with a Hanji personality. That was definitely not a good sign. Eren’s mother tugged at her ear, making her wince in pain.

            “Isabel, stop hounding our visitor,” she said gently but with authority. She turned to look at Levi and gave him a warm smile. Eren definitely took after his mother in the looks department. “I’m sorry but she’s normally like that. But I guess if you’re with Eren, that’s not really a surprise.”

            “Hey!” Eren yelled and pouted.

            Levi’s nervousness went away at the warm welcome and handed her the bouquet. “I’m Levi and this is for you, Mrs. Jaeger. Thank you for inviting me.”

            “This is very lovely, Levi, thank you. And of course, I wouldn’t pass up the chance to meet my son’s boyfriend. But I have to ask…” she trailed and looked over to the couple with calculating eyes. “Eren’s not giving you a hard time, is he?”

            “Mom! I don’t! How could you think that?!” Eren interjected, flabbergasted at his mother’s question.

            Levi couldn’t help but chuckle. “Thankfully, he isn’t. But he can be really stubborn and childish most of the time.”

            Carla ruffled her son’s hair and sighed. “I know what you mean. I’m sorry you have to go through all of that.”

            “You just met for five minutes and you’re already ganging up on me,” the art student sulked and went to get hot chocolate for him and Levi.

            As Carla continued cooking, Isabel took over in the ‘let’s interview Levi’ portion. She said she wanted to know more about the person who made Eren sing Beyonce’s Love On Top at the top of his lungs in the bathroom when he went home for Thanksgiving. A mini-war erupted then between the Jaeger siblings and only stopped when their mother addressed them with their full names. She was very much like his own mother and Levi wondered what would happen if the two of them would meet the next day.

            Just right after the food was done and Izzy had set the table, they heard the front door open and a moment later, a man with long, brown hair came into the room. He was surrounded by an aura of respect and authority and Levi had to calm himself down as Eren’s father’s gaze landed on him.

            “Good evening, Mr. Jaeger. I’m Levi Ackerman. It’s nice to meet you,” the raven extended his hand in greeting.

            Even if Eren’s father had a small smile on his face, Levi could still feel the dominance he was projecting. “You too, Levi.”

            “This is for you.” Levi handed him the bottle of wine he and Eren bought back in Maria.

            Grisha made a hum of approval as he examined the wine. “Great choice. Thank you very much. We should sit down. Carla’s going to get mad if the food will get cold.”

            Levi let out a sigh of relief as everything was going smoothly so far. The Jaegers all had different personalities and he wondered where Eren and Isabel got their loudmouths from. Carla and Grisha seemed very refined with their actions and words. At some point over dinner, the two siblings managed to get themselves in another round of yelling and Carla threatened to not give them desserts, effectively shutting the two up.

            The raven was so amazed by her that he couldn’t help but voice out his praise. “Mrs. Jaeger, I don’t know how you managed to raise them but I just want to say you’re definitely an inspiration to all mothers.”

            Carla blushed and waved him off. “Thank you, Levi. You’re very sweet.”

            From his side, Levi heard Eren mutter under his breath. “Asslicker.” The raven glared at him and the brunet stuck his tongue out.

            Carla and Isabel were the ones who asked the business student questions about his life, mostly his childhood. Levi didn’t sugarcoat or hid anything and they all listened without judgment. His story even made Carla want to meet his mother all the more.

            “My mom’s the only one I got so I just want to give her all the best,” he explained.

            “What are your plans after pursuing your degree?” Grisha asked in one of the few times he spoke up.

            “I’m going to move to Sina,” Levi started. “Maria has some good companies but Sina has always been my dream. It’s also where my dream company is.”

            “Sina’s like seven hours away right? That’s so far!” Isabel stated.

            Suddenly, there was a clanking noise and everybody turned their heads toward the source. Eren was glaring daggers down at his plate, brows furrowed, and deadly silent.

            “Honey, are you okay?” His mother asked worriedly.

            The brunet snapped out of his daze and kept his head bowed while he ate. “Yes, sorry.”

            Levi reached to squeeze his knee but wasn’t acknowledged by his lover. He didn’t have any idea what made him act like that but he was going to deal with it later. Throughout dinner, Eren remained silent, occasionally grunting whenever he was asked. Save from the brunet’s sudden mood dip, everything went well beyond Levi’s expectations. At least he wasn’t kicked out and they seemed to like him. Before he left, Grisha shook his hand firmly as if he regarded him with a ton of respect and Carla and Isabel hugged him.

            Eren announced he was going to walk him back to his uncle’s place and Levi thought the younger male had already reverted back to his old self. Unfortunately, he was mistaken as the brunet was still silent. Getting impatient, he decided to confront him.

            “Tell me what’s wrong,” Levi ordered, stopping in his tracks.

            Eren didn’t stop walking. “Nothing’s wrong.”

            Levi clutched his arm and turned him around to face him. “Cut the bullshit, Eren. What’s wrong with you?”

            “What’s wrong with me?” The brunet scoffed. “What’s wrong with you? When were you ever tell me you’re moving to Sina after graduation?”

            “That’s it? That’s what’s bothering you?” Levi asked in disbelief.

            A different kind of fire blazed in Eren’s eyes. It wasn’t of determination but of anger. “You’re going to leave me! Didn’t you even think about that?!”

            He was stumped for a moment. Honestly, he never thought about it. Now that Eren mentioned it, Levi began to see the problem and he didn’t know what to do.

            “Eren,” he tried to remedy the situation, “It’s not yet final.”

            “From what I heard earlier, it definitely sounds final already,” the brunet snapped. He looked like he was restraining himself from fully lashing out. Levi didn’t understand why the younger male was reacting like that. It’s the first time he saw him really mad. Slowly, he approached the brunet until he was able to cup his face. His touch visibly relaxed him as Eren released a shaky breath.

             “I’m sorry,” Eren began, leaning towards the touch. “It’s just that… I’ve had bad experiences with things like that.”

             “Will you tell me?” Levi asked softly.

            “Maybe next time. I don’t want to ruin the night any further.”

            “You didn’t ruin anything. _I_ should be the one apologizing for fucking things up. But if you don’t want to tell me now, then it’s okay. When you’re ready, you can tell me so I know what’s bothering you.”

            Eren sighed deeply and gave him a tired, small smile. “Thank you and I’m sorry for lashing out. I just don’t want you to leave me.”

            The brunet’s small voice at the end tugged on his heart. “I’m not. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you, remember that.”

            “I love you so much, Levi. I’ve never been so happy I just don’t know what I’ll do if you go away,” Eren said, pulling the shorter male into an embrace.

            Levi put his arms around the brunet and rubbed his back soothingly. “Shh, don’t say that. If I go away, who would take care of your shitty ass?”

            That earned a hearty laugh from Eren. Finally, the earlier tension broke and the art student was back to his normal self. “If my ass is shitty, why do you keep looking at it?”

            “Shitty brat.” Levi brought Eren’s face down to kiss him deeply. “I love you.”

            They rubbed their noses together and enjoyed the warmth they shared. The problem was far from over and they would definitely need to talk about it one of these days. But for now, they settled for the temporary lull and let their love for each other envelop them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, finally. The ball's rolling.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"And I know that you don't want to be leaving me.  
>  Yeah, you want it but I can't help it.  
> I just feel complete when you're by my side."_
> 
> \- If It Means A Lot to You, A Day to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of filler chapter.

            Carla Jaeger welcomed the Ackermans and Arlerts to their household with open arms and sangria. She greeted the bunch at the front door wearing a flowing long-sleeved red dress. She was ecstatic to see her guests for Christmas Eve. Everyone settled in the spacious living room as Eren’s mother retreated back to the kitchen. Grisha came down a minute later in a simple dark green sweater and khaki pants, his hair tied in a ponytail. He went around to shake hands with the visitors and when he approached Kuchel, Levi introduced them to each other.

            Eren and Isabel came down next wearing Christmas sweaters which, Levi thought, were probably their mother’s doing. The art student made a beeline towards his boyfriend and gave him a peck on the cheek. He didn’t bring up what happened last night so the raven decided not to open it up.

            Everybody was having a good time and Levi was a bit overwhelmed. It was the first time he celebrated the holidays with a lot of people. Not to mention, he would be celebrating at his boyfriend’s house at that. His mother was in the middle of a conversation with Grisha and Armin’s grandpa when Carla entered the room once more. The look on her face when she was introduced to Kuchel frightened Levi. Just as he feared, the two women clicked with each other and began talking like they were childhood friends. Eren blanched when his mother brought out their family album which she then showed to Levi’s mother. Curious, the raven got up to also look at the pictures and wasn’t disappointed to see baby Eren.

            When midnight came, everyone exchanged greetings, kisses, and hugs. Carla gathered everyone to the large dining room designated for guests and Levi’s eyes widened at the amount of food being served. Eren wasn’t kidding when he said his mother was a cooking freak. Levi was too shy to put too much food on his plate even if he wanted to taste everything, but his boyfriend was having none of that and made sure that he was going to gain weight after it.

            What surprised Levi more, though, was when Eren and Isabel excused themselves from the table and disappeared for a while. When they reappeared, they were already carrying a big cake and began singing ‘Happy Birthday’. Soon, everyone joined in and he could feel himself turning red from the attention he was getting. Placing the cake in front of Levi, Eren nudged him to blow out the candles. He glared at the smiling brunet before indulging his wish.

            Presents came next due to Isabel’s insistence. Levi never expected to receive gifts but was surprised again when he got some from his mother, Armin, and—the most surprising of all—Mikasa. His mother gave him a beautiful black coat which must have cost her a fortune; Armin gifted him a leather-bound planner which, according to him, would be helpful for taking notes with his thesis; and Mikasa handed him a small velvet box containing a black stainless steel watch. The business major went around to thank everyone especially Carla and Grisha who opened their doors for them.

            “Let’s go up to my room for a bit,” Eren whispered on his ear while tugging on his sleeve. The brunet took his hand as they went upstairs and into his room. It wasn’t overly large but spacious enough to have an area dedicated to his art. Levi wasn’t surprised at all to see art materials lying on the floor and clothes were strewn everywhere. Eren led him to his bed and sat down.

            “We’re not going to fuck here while everyone is downstairs,” Levi warned and the taller male just laughed.

            “No, no.” Eren shook his head. “Though I’d like to very much. Just can’t risk Izzy coming up here and see us buck naked.”

            “So why am I here then?”

            “I’m going to give you your present without other people looking. They might make fun of me,” the brunet commented and stood up to get something from the drawer. His face was bright red when he returned to the bed. Slowly, he handed a cloth doll that somewhat resembled himself.

            “I asked a friend of mine from one of my classes to help me make it and it’s what I’m working on for the past two months. It’s… it’s a doll me. So that even when we’re not together, I’m with you somehow,” Eren said, averting his to anywhere but Levi.

            The raven was amused. “You’re really a sentimental little shit, aren’t you?”

            “You don’t like it?” The younger male asked, dejectedly.

            “Idiot.” Levi flicked his forehead. “Of course I do. You did a pretty good job.” Doll Eren also had the same wild hair and big green eyes. It wasn’t the usual gift you give to somebody but knowing that it was handmade by Eren himself, Levi would treasure it for a long time.

            “Um, but that’s not all. You see, doll me also has a partner.” The brunet went back to the drawer to retrieve another cloth doll that looked a lot like Levi. “This is mine.”

            Levi didn’t know whether to feel annoyed or pleased. Everything was so cliché and normally he would gag at this kind of thing but he didn’t. Staring at the plushies Eren made his heart go soft. However, his next words made the shorter male agitated.

            “When you move to Sina, make sure you bring it with you, okay?”

            “Eren…” Levi gazed at his younger boyfriend who was looking down on the floor and was on the verge of crying. His heart ached for him and he could feel the sadness radiating strongly from him. The older male tilted his chin up so that he was looking at him. Glistening viridian eyes met his and he quickly wrapped his arms around the other’s shoulders and pulled him close.

            “Please don’t cry,” the raven pleaded. “I never want to see you cry, okay?” He could feel Eren contain his tears but he still heard the quiet sniffles that came from the young man.

            “I’m sorry. It’s just that… I just couldn’t stand the thought of you so far away from me. I thought this time I could make someone stay for me but I’m wrong,” the brunet remarked, earning a confused look from the raven as he broke the hug to look at Eren.

            “What do you mean?”

            Eren looked down on his lap and fiddled with the hem of his shirt before answering. “I’ve dated boys and girls but my first official relationship was with a guy named Milius back in high school. It started out perfectly until his family had to move. We were in a long distance relationship and our only communication was by phone or video call. I trusted him completely but one day, I found out he was cheating on me.

            “It broke my heart, him being my first love and all. But I moved on and dated other people. I don’t know if I’m just an unlucky person or what because all relationships that I had after Milius ended with the same reason. Either they moved away and cheated, or they just cheated on me. I have severe trust issues since then,” Eren revealed.

            No wonder he flipped when he heard about Levi thinking of moving to Sina. “Oh, Eren…”

            “And then I met you,” the younger male continued. “That night I saw you with Farlan, my heart broke again because I thought you were stringing me along. But you looked for me and confessed and now we’re here. You’re such a wonderful person and I really thought the curse has been broken. But here I am again.”

            Eren laughed nervously as he tried to hide the pain he was feeling. Levi really never, ever wanted to see him so down like this. “Don’t say that. Please stop crying, Eren. Nothing’s final yet. Who knows? I might not even pass my thesis so I won’t be able to graduate.” He hoped that wouldn’t happen, though.

            The brunet finally looked up at him, still sniffling a bit. “But it’s your dream,” he mumbled quietly.

            “A lot of things can happen in the next months. Tell you what, why don’t we just take everything day by day? We don’t have to worry about anything for now. How’s that?” Levi suggested.

            Eren went silent, processing the words carefully, and nodded. The older male smiled at him and dug a small, red pouch from his pocket. “It’s my turn to give your gift.”

            Pale, slender fingers untied the knot that secured the pouch and Levi pulled out a leather cord with a beautiful, ornate brass key hanging on it. There were tiny crystals encrusted on it that shined beautifully when caught by the light. The raven immediately put it over Eren’s head.

            “This is beautiful, Levi,” the brunet remarked, examining his gift delicately with his fingers. “But why a key?”

            “I’d like to think that it’s a key to my heart and also a key to my happiness,” he explained shyly, ducking his head and failing to hide the scarlet spreading on his face.

            There was no immediate reaction from Eren and it worried him. Now, there were two things he expected the young man was going to do: one, he was going to cry again; and two, he would be kissing him incessantly. When Levi looked up to see, he wasn’t expecting Eren trying his best not to _laugh_. He couldn’t help but pout.

            “What’s so funny?”

            Eren couldn’t control it and burst out laughing. “I’m—I’m sorry,” he apologized, wiping away his tears from laughing too hard. “But you accuse me of being a sentimental little shit, but here you are getting all sappy with me. Oh, Hanji’s going to love this!”

            Levi crossed his arms and scowled. “Shut up. This is your fault anyway. And never mention this to shitty glasses!”

            Eren released another hearty laugh and pulled Levi close to kiss him gently on the lips. The shorter male initially put up a resistance but surrendered and returned the kiss as well. Eren maneuvered them so they were both laying down and continued making out lazily. Levi always loved being close to him because he was able to steal some body heat from the brunet. They didn’t stay long, however, and went back downstairs with their hands entwined.

            No one noticed them as everybody was busy mingling with each other. Levi was particularly surprised seeing his mother dance with Armin’s grandpa. It brought a smile to his face with how she looked really happy being with other people aside from those from their hometown. This Christmas and his birthday, he didn’t just spend it with his bloodline, he also gained another family.

**

            The next morning, Mikasa and her parents treated Levi and Kuchel to a birthday breakfast. The raven insisted he was the one to pay being the birthday boy and all but his relatives just shushed him and his uncle gave him the classic Ackerman glare. That made him surrender and let them what they pleased. At least he was able to save money.

            In the afternoon, he went out with Eren and Isabel, much to the former’s disappointment. The Jaeger siblings were kicked out of the house since their parents were having a small get-together with Grisha’s friends from the hospital. With nothing to do, the two toured Levi around the town. They were at a small jewelry shop when Eren had to leave for a while because of an emergency errand from Carla.

             Levi was, at first, uncomfortable being left alone with Isabel. But just like Hanji, she made it easier with the help of her very outgoing personality. They both continued looking at the pieces of jewelry when suddenly, Isabel let out a little shriek. Levi went over to her and saw the younger Jaeger examining a dainty, gold necklace with a sparrow charm. Her green eyes sparkled at the trinket, giving the raven an idea.

            “Do you want that?” he asked, startling the girl. Shyly, she nodded while tracing the bird charm gently. “Come on, I’ll pay for it.”

            “What? No way!”

            “Just give me the damn necklace, brat,” he ordered and Isabel reluctantly handed the necklace to him. The price hardly made a dent on his money so all was well. After paying, he immediately put it on her. Isabel squealed and hugged the raven tightly.

            “Thank you so, so, so much! You’re the best!”

            They went to the ice cream parlor next where they waited for Eren to return. Levi bought a mint chocolate chip for Isabel and cookies and cream for him.

            “Levi,” Isabel started, “thanks again for buying me the necklace and ice cream. You really didn’t have to.”

            “I want to. Your family has been good to us. It’s the least I could do,” the male shrugged.

            “I’m glad Eren has you,” she murmured quietly, playing with the ice cream on her cup. “I’ve never seen him this happy. I thought he was going to give up when all his relationships ended on a bad note, but you’re different.”

            Levi didn’t know how to answer that so he remained. Isabel filled the silence with her stories and she even shared her dream of becoming a theatre actress. Just like her brother, she was very determined and feisty. The older male also found himself being the receiver of Isabel’s rant about her mother not allowing her to dye her hair red. When asked why she picked the color, she said it suited her personality better and Levi had to agree.

            Eren returned soon, pouting when he saw the two already halfway done with their desserts. To appease the brunet, Levi bought him two scoops of chocolate and a kiss on the cheek. They spent the rest of the afternoon in the park, feeding the ducks in the small pond. To the raven’s surprise, Isabel began calling him ‘big bro’. Eren wasn’t amused while Levi secretly loved it. As the trio went back home, the older Jaeger kept complaining about why his sister won’t call him big brother or something else.

            Levi kept smiling. He had never smiled this often before. He was having fun. The next days, it was either Eren, his sister, and Armin were over at Mikasa’s or they were all out strolling around.  When New Year’s Eve came, they spent it with their respective families before heading out to the park where they watched the fireworks display. Of course, being a romantic dipshit that Eren was, he lifted Levi off the ground and kissed him just as the countdown ended. Armin was taking a video of the whole thing and Mikasa silently fumed on the side. The raven playfully punched his boyfriend’s shoulder, grateful that the lights from the fireworks overpowered the blush on his face.

            All in all, it was by far the best holiday break Levi had in his entire life. He somewhat missed Hanji and Farlan (though he would never admit to them) who kept texting him or sending him their selfies. He knew he should hang out with them when they go back to Maria.

            The day came when they had to leave and everyone felt bittersweet at the end of the holidays especially Levi’s mom and his uncle Philippe who were crying as they said their goodbyes. His uncle Kenny picked his mother up again and the Ackerman siblings exchanged joyful words before Kuchel and Kenny return to Stohess. Meanwhile, Mikasa and Levi lugged their bags towards Armin’s car and said their own goodbyes to their families and the blond’s grandpa.

            Eren was already waiting outside their house with his parents and Isabel. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, Levi went out of the car to help Eren with his bags and talk to the Jaegers.

            “Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger. I would just like to say thank you for the warm welcome and for the birthday surprise. You didn’t have to, but I really appreciate it,” he expressed.

            Carla surprised him by giving him a hug. “Oh, it’s nothing! You are welcome here anytime. You and your mother are already part of our little family.”

            His heart swelled at her words. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Jaeger.”

            Grisha cleared his throat and the raven turned his attention to the patriarch of the family. Even if Grisha had been accepting, Levi was still intimidated by him. “There’s something I need to tell you, Levi,” he uttered in a serious voice that had Levi stood rigidly.

            Grey eyes studied him carefully before speaking again, “Levi—” The raven clenched his fists—“make sure you keep Eren out of trouble. We all know he’s a pain the ass sometimes.” Isabel and Carla cracked up beside him while Eren whined. Levi, on the other hand, released a sigh of relief. He thought Grisha would change his mind about him and tell him he’s not worthy of their son.

            “Yes, Mr. Jaeger. You can count on me,” he promised wholeheartedly. They shook hands after that and Levi was feeling light as rain. Carla pulled her son in her arms and trapped him there.

            “You better take care of yourself and don’t give Levi a hard time,” she commanded.

            “Why does it sound like Levi is your son and not me?” the brunet groaned.

            Carla only laughed and held him close. “Mommy bear loves you, sweetheart.”

            “Mom, please. This is embarrassing.”

            “I’m not letting you leave if you don’t answer properly.”

            “Alright, fine!” The brunet grumbled something under his breath before answering in a quiet voice yet still overheard by the raven. “Erebear loves you, too.”

            Levi bit his lip to keep him from laughing. Satisfied, Carla released her son from her embrace and smiled wickedly. “That’s better. Now, off you go! Don’t forget to call me when you arrive!”

            Eren trudged to Armin’s car without a word while Levi politely said his gratitude and farewell. Isabel lunged at him for a last hug while thanking him profusely for his gift. Eventually, he was able to unlatch himself from the girl and patted her head before going back to the car. Armin and Mikasa were talking in the front but Eren was silent. Levi slid beside him and Armin began to drive. The raven opened his mouth to talk but was immediately cut off by the brunet.

            “Not one word.”

            It was a total of a minute and a half—he counted—when Levi decided to break the silence.

            “So… Erebear, huh?”

            Eren glared darkly at him and Levi couldn’t stop the laughter that he was holding back earlier. The younger male pouted at him but reached for his hand and let their fingers interweaved. Levi didn’t know what will happen when they return to their lives in Maria, but looking down their hands, he wished nothing’s going to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're back in Maria next chapter and the story will be back on track. ;)
> 
> [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"And you shine in the distance  
>  I hope I can make it through  
> 'Cause the only place that I want to be  
> Is right back home with you."_
> 
> \- You Make It Real, James Morrison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really satisfied with this but I had to write a transition for the next arc. 
> 
> Hope you still like it, though!

            Levi was on the last stretch of his undergraduate thesis and the pressure of finishing it on time gave him countless headaches. Eren was there to alleviate his stress and he noticed something off with the younger male’s behavior. It was subtle, but the raven observed how Eren’s smiles became weaker and sometimes forced when they were together. At first, he just shrugged it off, thinking the brunet was also swamped with schoolwork. However, even on their Saturday group dinners, Eren put up a cheerful façade, laughing and smiling but never reaching his eyes.

            He finally knew what was bothering the brunet when the latter chanced upon him looking at online listings of cheap apartments in Sina. The older male forgot to close that tab on his browser when Eren came to spend the night. Their dinner had been a silent and awkward one.

            Levi had a sinking feeling that Eren was beginning to drift away from him. He knew it was partially his fault since his plans after graduation stayed the same. Only a few months more and he’s going to be free. But thinking of leaving Eren… His heart couldn’t take it. He was so used to the younger male being there every time. If he would leave, Eren’s smile, his laughter, his warmth—all of that would be gone. While they could try for a long-distance relationship, there are the brunet’s trust issues. Clearly, Levi’s dream and Eren’s preference were at odds.

            But could Levi give up his dream just to be with Eren? It was the thought that plagued him night after night. Even when they go on dates, there was tension between them. Their talks that were once full of banter and wit became dull.

Levi tried to make things better during Eren’s birthday. It’s the first time in a while since the brunet smiled genuinely as the raven surprised him at his apartment with a romantic candlelit dinner and a huge bouquet of roses. They ended the night with passionate lovemaking, saying ‘I love you’ sincerely and holding each other like they were afraid the other would disappear completely.

            Somehow, after that night, things became quite normal. Eren was back to his playful self and would even tag along with Levi, Hanji, and Farlan when they went out. The business major also made it a point to hang out with Eren’s friends. Armin wasn’t perturbed when Levi began visiting the art student at their dorm room. While Eren painted, the two would talk and Armin even offered to proofread Levi’s thesis which the raven gladly accepted.

            With the hard work and sleepless nights, he passed his thesis defense with flying colors. He would graduate in a month’s time and only needed to submit some other requirements. Aside from that, he was technically free to do anything, so he used his available time to think of his future. His Sina dream still blazed strongly within him, but that would mean leaving Eren. He couldn’t bear to think of finding someone better than the gorgeous young man with equally gorgeous eyes. For Levi, Eren was perfect.

            He sighed deeply. It was hard, but he had to decide. Eren wasn’t speaking to him again after his defense and Levi knew it was because he was scared. They haven’t talked about his plans and the brunet probably assumed he was going to move after graduation. It was like they were only waiting for the worst to happen, but scared of addressing the problem.

            Levi didn’t want to prolong their agonies any longer so he got up from the bed and dialed Eren’s number.

_“Hello?”_

            “Eren, we need to talk.”

 

***

            The sun was beginning to set, bathing the leaves in a golden hue. Levi was sitting on a bench waiting for Eren to arrive at the park. Only a few people were there so he used the opportunity to savor the quietness. Truth be told, he was nervous. When the raven told him they needed to talk, there was a minute of silence before Eren agreed in a small voice. Levi was afraid of the brunet’s reaction when he would tell him his decision.

            Heavy footsteps broke him out of his internal conflict and he opened his eyes to see Eren approaching with his hands in his pocket and a forlorn expression on his face. The older male’s heart thumped wildly.

            “Hey.”

            “Hey.”

            Eren sat down at the opposite end of the bench and stared down at his lap; Levi did the same thing. Silence fell between them and only distant noises could be heard. The raven let the awkwardness stay for a while but when the tension became thick, he knew he needed to speak up. This wasn’t supposed to be hard, after all.

            “Eren, I—” Just when Levi was about to tell him his plan, Eren decided to interrupt him.

            “I should’ve known you’re not staying. You could’ve just told me over the phone, you know. It’s not as if it’s the first time I’ve been in this situation. I just… I just thought you’re not like them. God, I’m such an idiot. I can’t—OW! What was that for?!”

            Levi smacked the taller male on the head. “You’re an insufferable little shit, you know that?”

            “What? Breaking up is not enough that you have to insult me?” Eren huffed. The older male had enough of his behavior and pinched his right cheek, making the brunet wince in pain again. “Why do you keep on hurting me?!”

            “Stop putting words on my mouth, you big baby,” the raven scolded. “I didn’t ask to meet up because I’m breaking up with you.”

            Eren looked like a fish out of the water with the way he kept opening and closing his mouth. His teal eyes widened and then narrowed, looking suspiciously at Levi. “You’re not?” he asked weakly.

            “Shitty brat, why would I do that?”

            “But you’re moving away…”

            Levi cupped Eren’s face with both hands and moved closer until their foreheads touched together. Looking at the mesmerizing eyes that did things to him, he was sure nothing could change his decision.

            “Eren, I won’t go anywhere. I’m staying here. I’m staying with you, okay?”

            The brunet’s breath hitched and his eyes watered a little. “But it’s your dream. You said Sina—”

            “Sina can wait,” Levi cut him off. “You and I haven’t been together for long and I don’t want to leave just yet. I never had a reason to stay in this shitty place before, but you happened and now I don’t want to go.”

            Eren didn’t waste any more time before hugging Levi. “You’re freaking amazing. I know I’m being selfish but thank you for not leaving. I’m the worst and I don’t deserve you, but I fucking love you. I love you so much, Levi.”

            “You’re the one who’s amazing here. I don’t even know what you see in me, but I love you just the same, Eren. You’re worth staying for,” the older male asserted and the brunet started sobbing. Levi rubbed his back to calm him down and when the ugly crying turned into sniffles, he broke away to brush away Eren’s tears and kiss him.

            “How do you manage to stay cute even when you have snot all over your face?” the raven teased.

            Grinning, Eren punched him lightly on the shoulder. “You suck.”

            Levi rolled his eyes. “Yes, I suck and I love sucking your dick. Now, come on. I wanted to catch a movie before we go to dinner.”

            “You’re horrible,” the brunet snorted and reached down to hold his hand.

            “I know, but you love me so what do you call yourself?”

            “Lucky.”

            God, that kid would be the death of him. Levi gazed at the tall, gorgeous young man beside him with eyes boring into him like he wanted to see the very depths of his soul. And he would let him. Because Eren was one of a kind and no one could ever compare to him. He was in too deep. Seeing the brunet looking down at him with the brightest smile he’d ever seen on him, Levi was comforted that he made the right decision.

***

            Levi was getting bored of the ceremonies. He just wanted to be with his mother, his uncle Kenny, and Eren who were sitting somewhere in the audience. He glared at the speaker who was giving the closing remarks as if by doing it, everything would go faster. Finally, after who knew how long, it ended and everyone was scampering to get to their families and friends.

            It was Eren who found him and the brunet jumped on him, almost sending them down to the floor.

            “Good god, Eren! There’s a reason why you do the carrying!” Levi said with difficulty as he carried the heavy male. Eren laughed but let himself down, opting to just hug the raven. He fished his drawing storage tube out of his bag and pulled out the rolled paper from it. Smiling widely, the brunet handed it to him.

            Unfolding the paper, Levi was surprised to see a beautifully drawn portrait of himself and his mother. Just then, Kuchel and Kenny appeared and the raven rushed to them to show his mother Eren’s gift. She was awed at the drawing and kissed both males on the cheek.

            “Thank you, Eren. This is really beautiful,” she commented.

            Someone slapped Levi’s back and turned to scowl at his smirking uncle. “Congrats, little runt. Ready to take on the real world?”

            “You know I’m ready for that since I was a child.”

            As much as Levi wanted to get away, he was spotted by Hanji who also graduated. The lunatic woman screamed at the top of her lungs from across the hall and ran towards the raven. People went out of her way to avoid getting knocked down and when she reached him, she immediately pulled him into one of her bear hugs. For a slender woman, she had a lot of strength which made Levi think that she was probably injecting some super strength serum on herself. Hanji handed her camera to Eren who was laughing at his boyfriend’s pitiful attempt on unlatching himself from his friend. Eren was sure Levi wasn’t smiling on any of the pictures he took. Hanji hugged both of them before returning to her family.

            The Ackermans and Eren celebrated in a small restaurant where Levi reserved a table for them beforehand. It’s not only his graduation they were celebrating, but it was also for him landing his first full-time job at the top management consulting agency in Maria where he would start in two weeks. It wasn’t what he originally planned, but he was still thankful. Besides, it could also be a good experience for him. Levi wasn’t regretting any of his decision. Someday, he would work in Sina and maybe Eren would be with him there.

            So that’s how Levi’s life became. He renewed his apartment lease since he didn’t see the need to move immediately. Since his mother and uncle were staying in Maria for a week, Eren also stayed, wanting to spend more time with Levi before he would—in Eren’s words—become one of those snobby businessmen. The brunet and his mother teamed up in shopping for his new wardrobe, resulting in Levi and his uncle groaning every time they went to a new store. By the end of it all, the raven would probably need to clear out his closet just to put the new clothes. Since Eren stayed with him, he helped him organize his things. Well… Levi made him organize his things.

            Every night they lay in bed, sometimes making love or sometimes just holding each other. It was the last night Eren would be over before he went back to Shiganshina for his summer vacation and Levi was adamant to spend the night clinging to the brunet. He wrapped his arms around the taller male’s waist while resting his head under his chin, while Eren had one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other lazily tracing patterns on his arm.

            “I think dad’s going to find an apartment for me for next year,” Eren revealed.

            “Really?”

            “Mm-hmm. I love Armin and all, but it’s hard to paint when I don’t have much space,” he explained.

            Levi thought for a moment before replying. “When I make enough money, I’ll move into a bigger apartment and then you’ll move in with me.”

            “Really?” Eren squeaked, holding the raven’s face so he was looking at him. “You’ll let me move in with you?”

            “Of course,” Levi said with an eye roll. “You’re practically living here in my apartment anyway so why not just share in the future?”

            The brunet buried his face on the smaller man’s hair. “I can’t wait.”

            “I bet you won’t be saying that when I make you clean the whole apartment,” the raven snorted. Eren groaned as he knew how Levi’s definition of spotless was way different than a regular person’s.

            “Ugh, you’re worse than mom,” Eren whined. “But because I love you, I will do anything to make you happy.”

            “Damn right, you will.”

            After exchanging gentle kisses, they let sleep fall upon them. Eren had an early morning trip so it wasn’t wise to stay up late. As usual, Levi woke up before the brunet so he decided to make breakfast. He wasn’t the greatest cook, but Eren was glad to teach him some recipes. He mentally made a note to ask his mother for help as well.

            The week before his work started, he hung out with Hanji and Farlan. Both of them were also staying in Shiganshina since Hanji would continue studying medicine while Farlan had still one year left for his degree. All of his remaining free days were spent productively and Levi was looking forward to starting his job. So when Monday morning came, he was pumped up albeit a little bit nervous.

            His boss was a welcoming, friendly man with a beer belly. He discussed the ins and outs with him so he was able to grasp the nature of his work quite easily. The other employees were also welcoming which made his first day bearable. Overall, his first impression of the workplace was good. It didn’t have a toxic and intolerable ambiance so he wasn’t concerned.

            All Levi had to do now was work hard.          

 

* * *

 

           

            For almost a year, Levi worked his ass off but he wasn’t complaining. It energized him that he was finally doing what he was supposed to do and he was damn good at it. Doing analytical reports might be boring for others, but not Levi. Every day, he gave his best and his boss was proud of his work.

            His relationship with Eren was also going strong. Levi couldn’t believe he had a boyfriend that lasted for a year. So when their anniversary came, he pampered the brunet and had dinner at a more expensive restaurant than where they used to go when he was still studying. His love for the art student grew more each day and there were no signs of it wavering so soon.

            But not all of his pay went to rent and Eren. He made sure to set aside some for his mother. She was still the number one reason why he wanted to get a proper job. Levi made sure all of his finances were divided properly and not waste money on random things which wasn’t a problem since he was a frugal person.

            For almost a year, Levi was beginning to feel like a real adult. He’s got a good job, a stable financial life, and a great boyfriend. He wasn’t looking for anything more, really. What more could he ask for?

            It was only when his boss resigned and a new boss introduced to him that things started to change.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to be downhill from now on :-)
> 
> Curious though, if you were the one in Levi's shoes, would you pick career or love knowing that your partner has trust issues? Have you experienced something like that?
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment or drop a message on my [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com)! And also, thank you for those who left kudos!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm holding on to a fairy tale,_  
>  We're moving forward but we're not there yet."
> 
>  
> 
> \- Homesick, A Day to Remember.

            It wasn’t only Levi who had been busy; Eren also had his hands full with studies and basketball. At the start of the semester, he tried out for the varsity basketball team and got in. He even had to quit his part-time job at the arts and crafts store just so he could regularly attend practice. The brunet knew he wouldn’t get a spot in the starting lineup in games but he was determined to show he deserved it.

            Levi didn’t miss a game. Usually, they were held early evenings so he was able to catch them. He always made sure that his work was done at 5 on the dot. After that, he’d rush to the university to make it to the game. Farlan and Hanji were also present, saving him a seat. Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Sasha, and Moblit were also there to support Eren and Jean who also made it. For the first few games, Eren wasn’t starting as expected, but after showing great potential during his limited time, he managed to snag his spot in the first six.

            The raven loved watching his boyfriend play. The way his body moved in the court was mesmerizing and he didn’t even care if he was sweating like a pig. But even if he wanted to scream like a crazed fangirl when Eren played, he was too shy to do it; so, he just let the other do the screaming while he settled for clapping loudly. But when Eren started upping his game, players from opposing teams made it their mission to stop him as much as possible. In some games, opponents began to get a little physical. It pissed Levi to no end when he saw one guy shoved Eren with unnecessary force. He wanted to get inside the court and punch the guy if only Farlan didn’t restrain him. But what really pissed him off was the growing number of fangirls Eren seemed to get each game. Levi couldn’t focus on watching with every scream of ‘Marry me, Eren!’ and ‘I love you, Eren! Have my babies!’.

            _Fucking bitches trying to steal my man,_ he glowered at the thought. When the game ended, Levi yanked Eren from the sidelines and gave him a long, deep kiss. The brunet looked dazed but smiled at his boyfriend. Meanwhile, Levi smirked when he heard the dejected whines from the girls.

            Throughout the months, the older male noticed that his younger boyfriend had gotten taller, much to his annoyance, and his body had gotten stronger. His unkempt chocolate locks were touching his shoulders already and he refused to have it cut. He was even more handsome if that were possible, and Levi felt really lucky and smug at the same time. A lot of people pined for Eren, some even braved to confess but the brunet politely rejected them and told them he was happily taken.

            They were both so in love with each other and so happy that they never thought a simple change at work was going to be the start of their problems.

            Levi’s boss one day announced that he was going to resign and was fulfilling his dream of settling down in another state. A lot of employees were all saddened by the news since everyone loved him. Not only was he a great superior, but he was also considerate for his employees’ needs. He was one of the reasons why Levi liked his job. The first time he saw his new boss, he already had a bad feeling.

            Nile Dok gave off off-putting vibes when he walked into the office. He had a long face framed with short, dark hair and had a thin mustache and goatee. There was a hint of haughtiness in his dark, beady eyes as he gazed at his subordinates. He didn’t even try to be more hospitable to them and just ordered them to continue working before settling to his new office. Levi hated him already.

            His opinion of his new boss was even more cemented when Nile started dumping workload on them without a care if they were already behind some other stuff. The work kept piling up yet none of them spoke out against it. Levi wanted to, but being only there for almost eleven months, he didn’t open his mouth. It wouldn’t look good to a future employer if he said the reason he was fired was that he didn’t like that his boss looked like a scheming rat, would it? So he convinced himself that it was for experience and that it wouldn’t last. If he couldn’t do it now, he couldn’t do it in the future. That led to him working double time which left him burnt out and passed out immediately when he got home. Sometimes, he would be late for Eren’s games or sometimes he would miss it altogether. The brunet was a tad bit disappointed but seeing Levi like a human panda with his dark circles under his eyes, he didn’t make a big deal out of it. Instead, he would stay at Levi’s on weekends to take care of him.

            However, even on weekends, the raven was buried in his work, frustrating him and Eren more. Their dates lessened and Levi would even miss their Saturday dinners. All because his boss was a fucking scumbag. He was thankful that they celebrated their anniversary when his old boss was still around. He can’t bear the thought of missing it and Eren would’ve flip his shit if that happened.

            Levi tried hard not to let his work affect his personal life, but Nile obviously had other plans. If he was able to leave on time before, now, it would even be a miracle if he could leave at 7. Nile held them at the office like hostages until he was satisfied with their work.

            It was Friday and Eren had a game which Levi promised to attend. They were in the semi-finals and he wanted to support his boyfriend. The older male concentrated on his work the whole day, only taking a short coffee break and a light snack before going back to his cubicle. He had gone over his reports several times so he was sure that it didn’t lack any important details. Confident that he would able to leave the office early, he went to Nile’s office to submit his reports. His superior was looking at something on his computer when Levi went in and handed the papers. The beady eyes scanned over the documents before handing it back to the raven.

            “This is no good,” Nile stated. “You need to revise that.”

            Levi’s heart sank. “But sir—”

            “Ackerman, you’re not going anywhere until those are revised and made comprehensive,” he said sternly, narrowing his eyes at the raven whose fists were clenched at his sides.

            “Yes, Mr. Dok,” he spoke with clenched teeth. It took every ounce of self-restraint not to slam the door behind his back as he left the office. He hated the man with all of his being. He was starting to hate the place as well. Levi slammed down the papers on his desk, startling the other employees, and proceeded to do what he was ordered to. He knew he wouldn’t be able to make it to Eren’s game and that dampened his mood even more.

            When Levi arrived at his apartment a little past 9, he wasn’t surprised that Eren was there and fuming.

            “Where the hell were you?” the brunet boomed as Levi closed the door.

            “I’m not in the mood, Eren,” he muttered, rubbing his temple in irritation.

            “You promised me you’re going to watch! You know it was important an important game to me.”

            Levi walked towards the bedroom and the brunet followed him on his heels. The art student was still grumbling and the raven couldn’t take the noise anymore. His extended time at the office already had his head throbbing; he didn’t need Eren’s incessant nagging to add to the pain.

            Sitting down on his bed, he buried his face on his hands and heaved a frustrated sigh. “Will you just fucking shut up for a minute? You’re just adding to my headache.”

            “You could have just texted me or even Hanji that you couldn’t make it! Was it so hard to pick up the damn phone and send one message?” The brunet demanded. He stood in front of the sitting raven, acting more like a mother hen. “I should’ve just went with the guys if I’d known you’re like this.”

            That irked Levi and he snapped, “Fucking go, then. No one’s making you stay.”

            Eren couldn’t believe what he heard and his brows immediately furrowed in anger. “You know what? You’re right. No use celebrating the win with a downer like you,” he bit back at the raven and turned on his heels, slamming the door behind him as he left the room. Not long after, Levi heard the apartment door close with a bang. It was only then that he stood up, cursed loudly, and headed to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. He hoped that would ease the pain he felt.

            But the pain was still there when he lay down on the bed. He could only blame his shit of a boss for it. He knew his work was good but Nile made him revise it twice. If only his superior hadn’t been a dick, then Eren—

 _Eren_.

            Levi scrambled for his phone, locating it somewhere buried underneath the sheets and pillows. He never meant to snap at him and his brief moment of stupidity made Eren go away when all Levi wanted was to curl up with him. He unlocked his phone and frowned when he saw no missed calls or text from the younger male. A pang of sadness hit him as he tried calling the brunet but he wasn’t picking up. Levi felt worse when his phone stayed silent after a few minutes. Eren always picked up his phone when he called or in the times that he couldn’t, he would usually send a text or call him back. Eren really was angry at him. With nothing else he could do, Levi settled on sending an apologetic message before lying down on his side and slept with a heavy heart.

            The next morning, the raven still hadn’t heard from Eren. Levi felt marginally better than last night so he figured he could go to the brunet’s apartment. He just hoped his boyfriend would forgive him. He tidied up his own apartment before dressing up nicely in a simple white tee, denim jeans, and sneakers. The clock read 10:30 and made his way to a nearby café to buy Eren a strawberries and cream croissant and a latte.

            Carrying the bag with the items made Levi think of the first time he and Eren met. It wasn’t really his ideal way of meeting someone, but that fateful accident was something he would never take back. He couldn’t believe he was in a relationship with Eren Jaeger for more than a year already. Someone else aside from his friends Hanji and Farlan had put up with his crassness and grumpy personality for that long. What did he ever do to deserve someone as wonderful as Eren? His cheeks flared as the cheesiness of the moment came to rest on him. If this happened before, he would be disgusted. But Eren had a way of destroying every belief he had.

            When he arrived in front of Eren’s apartment building, he took a deep breath and walked in, climbing his way to the second floor where the brunet’s unit was. Strengthening his resolve, he knocked on the door and prepared for whatever onslaught Eren would bring when he would see him. The raven was even prepared to get down on his knees and beg.

            The door opened, revealing a hung-over Eren. His hair sticking out to every direction and was a little bit unsteady on his feet.

            “Levi?” The taller male groggily asked, eyes squinting as if discerning if the person in front of him was real.

            “You stink,” the raven commented and stepped inside. “What happened to you?”

            Eren made a beeline to his couch and plopped face down while Levi went to get the aspirin and a glass of water. Returning to the living room, he placed them down on the coffee table alongside the croissant and latte he brought.

             “Get up, Eren. You need to drink the aspirin,” he said calmly. Eren groaned in protest but slowly sat up and obeyed.

            “Remind me to kill Horseface later. Shit, I’m never drinking again,” the brunet murmured, resting his head at the back of the couch.

            “Too much fun last night?” Levi asked to which the younger male nodded. “I bought you your favorite croissant and latte. Figured you still haven’t eaten.”

            Eren shot him a tiny grateful smile and then reached out for his first food of the day. Levi made sure the brunet finished eating first before attempting to start a conversation.

            “I’m really sorry about last night,” the raven muttered, choosing to look down at his lap rather than to his boyfriend. He felt so ashamed for being harsh on him and pushing him away.

            A large hand wrapped around his own and Levi looked up to see Eren giving him a half-smile. The tension between them dissipated and the raven returned one of his own genuine smiles that were reserved especially for Eren. The brunet lay on his lap and Levi started carding his fingers through the thick strands.

            “I’m sorry, too. I just wanted to celebrate that win with you and not seeing you there after the game without telling one of us why just upset me, I guess,” the art student disclosed.

            “I know I should’ve texted you or Hanji, but my boss is a complete asshole,” Levi seethed. “I don’t doubt that if you ever met him, you would’ve punched him in the face.”

            Eren chuckled. “He’s that bad, huh? Maybe he’ll warm up soon enough. Punching your boss is a sure way to get fired.”

            “You can’t imagine how hard I try to stop myself from decking that punchable face. If he’s still an asshole after a month, I swear I’m going to find a new job,” he replied offhandedly. As soon as he said it though, the Sina dream within him flared. It had been quite a while since he last thought of pursuing it. He thought it had faded away. Who knew Nile Dok would be the one to spark the idea again?

            Levi was met with a terse silence from Eren. He assumed the brunet had fallen back to sleep until he heard him speak in a quiet voice. “You’re not going away, are you? I mean, if you look for a job, it’s still going to be here, right?”

            Just like that, he was reminded that it’s not going to be possible. Not with Eren like this. “Yeah…” he said, unable to supply any other answer than that. “By the way, what happened last night that makes you want to kill Jean?”

            The change of topic was welcomed by Eren and he gladly (or not, depending on which part of the story) told him where and how the team celebrated. Levi wanted to concentrate on the brunet’s story, but his mind kept going back to the possibility of working in Sina. His instincts were telling him to push it through, but his heart told him Eren wasn’t going to like it if he did. His mind and heart were at war and Levi didn’t know what to do.

            By the time he went home, he was still at a loss. The raven was secretly thankful when Eren said he had an important project to work on so he let Levi leave saying he would only get bored watching him paint. Normally, the older male wouldn’t mind; he loved seeing him paint—the way his eyes shine with concentration and his skillful hands—but he took the opportunity to be alone with his thoughts.

            As he lay on his bed that night, Levi asked for a sign. He wasn’t religious or anything, but he asked for one that could shape his future. Little did he know that the sign would be appearing sooner than he thought.

 

* * *

 

            Monday.

            Levi hated Mondays. Who didn’t hate Mondays, anyway? But this Monday was different. Ever since he got up that morning, there was something sinister in the air. He had a bad feeling but quickly shrugged it off, assuming it was just one of those Monday blues. But he should’ve known everything was going to hell when Nile announced their work for today would be done in groups. Even more so when Levi was grouped with Nile’s obviously favored employees: Hitch, Marlowe, and Boris. It puzzled him why they were the boss’s favorites when they were only doing half-assed jobs. It also angered him when he noticed they were the only employees who had less work to do while Levi and the others were drowning in paperwork.

            He tried to be professional, though. As they worked together, he realized it was mostly him making decisions and suggestions. The three would sometimes contribute but sometimes, they would just lounge or excuse themselves for a ‘quick’ break which lasted for half an hour. In the end, Levi was pissed off for working the majority of it.

            But his patience snapped when they were called to Nile’s office to present their work and the three claimed the work as their own when they did nothing mostly. And when Nile pointed out some mistakes, they shifted the blame to Levi, saying he didn’t hear them out for their opinions.

            “What the fucking hell?!” the raven yelled. “You three shits have done nothing while I worked my ass off!”

            “Ackerman!” Nile reprimanded. “Your behavior is unprofessional! This was supposed to be a group work so why didn’t you let them say their minds?”

            “Because they didn’t do shit! _I_ was the only one taking it seriously while they always go for a break!”

            “Is taking a break a sin now, Ackerman? Would you rather I piss on your cubicle?” Hitch sarcastically remarked.

            Levi was fuming at that point. He couldn’t believe they were all teaming up against him. It was unfair.

            “Listen here, you bitch. I—”

            “Ackerman, I’m warning you now. If you don’t stop harassing them, I’ll have you suspended,” Nile advised with a hint of smugness in his voice. “I think you better take a break. Clear your mind a little, won’t you?”

            Levi’s jaw clenched and walked out of the room. Grabbing his phone and wallet, he went out of the office and angrily marched towards the café across. The deathly look on his face sent people out of his way. He wanted to punch something or someone, preferably Nile. He was the fucking devil. Fuck him. Fuck Nile.

            “Large black coffee. Better make it fast,” he growled and the barista scampered.

            He didn’t want to go back to that damn office. He was only doing his job properly and yet other people were assholes. The amount of energy he put in every day was useless when people like Hitch, Marlowe, and Boris were coddled by their boss even without putting any effort into their jobs. It was unfair. He didn’t deserve this kind of treatment.

            There was a tap on his shoulder and Levi was ready to give the person a piece of his mind when he saw the friendly face of Gunther smiling at him. “Levi! Long time, no see! How are you, man?”

            The raven gave him a weak, forced smile. “I had better days. You?”

            “I’m good, I’m good. I thought you were working at Sina, though?”

            His heart ached at the assumption but brushed it off. “I stayed here,” he replied curtly.

            “Do you still want to? I know an HR from Zackly Consulting Group. He said they have open positions. I’m planning to apply there,” Gunther informed him and the raven’s eyes widened.

            This was the sign he was asking for; he was a hundred percent sure this was it. Zackly Consulting Group or ZCG was one of the best in the country. That was his dream and it was now being presented to him. He couldn’t let this pass now, could he?

            “That would be great.” A renewed hope filled him.

            Gunther pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it to Levi. “Here’s my friend’s email address.”

            “Thanks, Gunther,” Levi said sincerely.

            “No problem, man! Hope we’ll get accepted. I’ll see you around!” Gunther patted him on the back before leaving the café. Levi just stared at the small business card on his hand and a smile erupted on his face. Gone was the sour look he was sporting earlier. The barista, though, still looked scared when he handed his cup of coffee.

            Levi was still miffed when he went back to the office. He knew the trio earlier were sneering and mocking him, but he paid them no mind. The thin card on his pocket gave him some sort of an escape from his current toxic environment. That made him go through the whole day without a hitch (no pun intended). When he got home, he immediately revamped his resume. After double-checking his information a number of times, Levi emailed it to Gunther’s HR friend from ZCG.

            He wanted it. He wanted to get away. There was nothing else on his mind but his future. Not Eren. Not Nile. It was only him and a golden opportunity that was too good to pass up. Nothing else mattered to him at that moment.

            Levi smiled and began waiting patiently for a callback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren's not gonna like that, Levi.
> 
> I know some of you expected our resident eyebrows to appear but surprise! It's Nile. Don't worry, Mr. Erwin Smith will check in soon ;)
> 
> The next chapter would probably be after two weeks since I'm going out of town and wouldn't be able to write. I hope you like this chapter and let me know your thoughts! 
> 
> (P.S. Have you watched the latest ep? That was an amazing ED! I'm a manga reader so the details didn't really surprise me but the execution was perfect and I'm still spazzing over it until now!)
> 
> [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I said I'll never walk away, but I'm not able to stay  
>  I said I'll never leave this place, but I can't stay here  
> To watch you fade and watch you change into someone I can't face."_
> 
> Replace You, Silverstein

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got carried away with this mammoth chapter and... yeah, you're probably going to hate me.

            Two weeks had passed yet Levi hadn’t heard from the HR of ZCG. He was tired of waiting for the silent phone to ring and the small ding on his laptop to notify him of an email. In the end, he lost all hope and became miserable.

            Levi was slowly accepting the fact that maybe his Sina dream was a foolish dream and that he was stuck in Maria and seeing Nile’s face for the rest of his life even if the thought was difficult to grasp. The little outburst he had last week had done nothing to change Nile’s and his three minions’ behaviors towards him. In fact, they weren’t even trying to hide their mockery of him whenever he was in the same place as them. Maybe the right option was to find another job, but the raven couldn’t because of his pride. If he resigned, it will only just prove to them that he couldn’t handle the heat.

            Immersing himself deep in work was his only solution. To show them that he was indeed better than them. Eren voiced out his concerns when he visited him at his apartment and saw the older male sleeping on the couch, still wearing his glasses and his laptop on the verge of falling off the table. Levi just brushed it off and spent the day still working with an irate Eren beside him. The brunet attempted to get his attention away from work but it was futile.

            “Levi, can’t you just get off the damn laptop for a minute?” The younger male huffed.

            “Can’t you see I’m working?” Levi retorted, furiously typing away.

            “But it’s supposed to be our day! We don’t see each other often and whenever we do, you’re always working,” Eren complained.

            “Don’t blame me, blame my son of a bitch boss,” the raven grumbled. It was true that they rarely see each other anymore and on the rare times that they were able to be together for more than an hour, Levi would work at some point.

            “He won’t magically appear when you stop working. Come on,” he urged, “I want to go out.”

            “Eren, I’m trying to finish this shitty job here. Go out and mingle for a while then just come back for dinner if you’re that bored.”

            Even without looking, Levi could feel Eren sag on the couch. “You’re unbelievable,” he muttered but didn’t make a move to get away. Instead, he turned the TV on and opted to watch a boring show.

            The older male just ignored the negativity radiating from the boy beside him. In the back of his mind, he knew he was being unfair to Eren. He was aware that Eren had become the receiving end of his frustration. But even if the brunet stuck close to him throughout his dramatic phase, an ugly thought formed in his head. That maybe he was the only roadblock to his dream. That Eren was the reason why he was miserable right now. If only he was open to the idea of Levi working in Sina but he knew how the other didn’t favor long-distance relationships. Don’t get him wrong, he loved Eren deeply and it wasn’t the younger male’s fault that he developed trust issues. But they’d been together for a while now, surely Levi had proven his worth? Eren knew he his past relationships only lasted for a short time, making him very special to Levi. Was that enough, though?

            If only a company that was good as ZCG was located in Maria, he wouldn’t think of moving and leaving. However, the reality is that the best company here was run by the likes of Nile Dok. Instead of experiencing career growth, Levi was only experiencing constant migraines. He wanted something new, somewhere where he would be able to learn despite working on a demanding time. He didn’t want to stay still at a place where his daily goal was to get by through the day.

            The couple were in their own separate little bubble—one had his eyes glued on the TV and the other had his on the laptop. Sounds filled the room but none coming from their mouths. They would get up only to use the bathroom and when Eren had to prepare dinner. When the taller male called Levi to eat, the latter stood up although reluctantly. They didn’t converse like they always do when they ate, choosing to fill the silence with the clinking of utensils and plates. Something was changing between them, yet they chose to remain mum.

            Levi didn’t realize Eren was the first to go to bed until he finished his work at 1 AM and discovered the empty seat at the other end of the couch. He gently closed his laptop and stretched his arms up until the kinks on his back popped. When he came into his bedroom, he saw Eren asleep facing the window. The moonlight shone on his handsome face, highlighting his strong nose and plump lips. His heart skipped a beat. He would never get tired of looking at Eren.

            Changing down into his boxers and a plain white tee, he slipped beside the brunet and contemplated whether to spoon him or not. It was one of the rare times when he had the opportunity of being the big spoon but at the moment, he decided otherwise. He was a dick towards the other male today and maybe Eren wouldn’t like him being clingy during sleep so he faced the other way and closed his eyes.

            A minute later, an arm wrapped around his waist and Levi felt Eren place a kiss on his hair. The raven grabbed the other’s hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it. Despite everything that was going through, they both knew deep down that they loved each other. On nights like this, it was the only thing that kept them sleeping soundly.

* * *

 

             On Tuesday the following week, Levi was once again swamped with work that led him to overtime. By the time he got out of the office, he was dead tired and wanted nothing more than to get under the covers. The thought was so inviting that his pace became hurried so he would be able to reach the bus. He was almost near the stop when he heard his name being called.

            “Levi!”

            The raven considered ignoring the voice’s owner and carry on but the person kept on calling. Levi was about to whoop their ass but when he turned around, he saw Farlan sprinting towards him.

            “Farlan, what are you doing here?” the raven asked. He hadn’t seen his friend for a while since they were both busy.

            “I was just on my way home,” he replied. “You look like shit. Want to grab a beer at my place?”

            “I have work tomorrow, dumbass.”

            “Levi Ackerman, a diligent worker?” The blond gasped, earning a glare from the shorter male. “Come on, we’re going to drink to wind down not to get drunk. Besides, I haven’t seen you for a while.”

            The raven thought about it for a moment before relenting; he didn’t have any work to do at home anyway. Levi immediately sank on the sofa when they arrived while Farlan traipsed to the kitchen to get the beer. It felt like it was years since he last visited the architecture student. Now that he was back, he realized he missed talking with Farlan. Among his friends, he was the voice of reason while Hanji provided the weirdness.

            Farlan returned and handed one opened bottle of beer to Levi who tilted his head back and chugged it down. Usually, he was put off by the bitter taste, but right now, he welcomed it.

            “So, how are you?” Farlan asked, turning on the TV and putting it on the local news channel.

            “Stuck in a fucked up job with an equally fucked up boss,” he replied bluntly.

            The blond raised an eyebrow at him. “Fucked up?”

            “Don’t know why but the motherfucker likes to make my life a living hell every day. He also has these three minions he treats like they’re the most prized possessions of the company.”

            “Then why stay? Why not apply for jobs in Sina?”

            Levi took a swig of beer before answering. “I did. I sent an application two weeks ago out of impulse and I haven’t heard from them since. Maybe I’m not good enough to land an interview.”

            “You’re such a pessimist.” Farlan rolled his eyes. “We’ve been friends for years and I saw how you worked hard to ace your classes. Maybe they just had a ton of applications to go through.”

            “Even if I get in, I’m not even sure if I can leave this place.”

            “Why not?”

            “Eren,” Levi said truthfully. “He has… bad experiences of long-distance relationships. He doesn’t want me to go.”

            Farlan frowned at his explanation. “Doesn’t he trust you? I know long distance is hard, but if you trust each other, that’s not really going to be a problem.”

            “I know. But I don’t want to make him sad or angry. I don’t want to be like his exes who left him,” he enlightened his friend. Light grey eyes discerned him as if he was a math problem that needed to be solved.

            “But you’re not planning on cheating on him if you’re far away, are you?”

            Levi looked at him like he was stupid. “Of course not! I won’t do that to him. I love Eren too much.”

            “Then there should be no problem if you ever land a job in Sina. If Eren loves you like you love him, he will understand. If you’re in his shoes, you’ll support him when he chases his dreams, right?” Farlan smiled when the raven nodded. “You two should talk about it soon.”

            Levi knew his friend was right, but he was still uneasy talking to Eren about it since the younger male never liked the topic being brought up at any time. He really did understand where he was coming from, but didn’t he also deserve to be understood at the same time? He had been supportive of his boyfriend from the time he wanted to be part of the basketball team. He was there to support him whenever the brunet joined a painting contest. He had been there for him all throughout. So why couldn’t Eren do the same for him? Why did Levi feel unfairly treated by his boyfriend of all people?

            Eren and his future weren’t brought up again for the rest of his stay; Farlan diverted their conversation to other topics to Levi’s appreciation. His friend knew when to push the subject and when not to. That’s why the raven preferred talking to him instead of Hanji since she would often pry until she had gotten her answer. Levi usually ended up in a worse mood than before they talked.

            After four bottles, the raven called it quits and went home. Farlan was quick to remind him of their earlier conversation which led to Levi thinking about it on the way home. It was almost midnight and the streets were empty except for a few people. In short, a perfect time to mull over his thoughts. He was wrapped in his thoughts that he didn’t realize there was somebody else in his apartment when he walked in until Eren appeared in front of him.

            “Nile made you do overtime again?” Levi was about to answer when the taller male leaned down and sniffed him. “Have you been drinking?”

            “Yeah,” he simply responded as he walked towards his bedroom to change into comfortable clothes. “Why are you here? Don’t you have an early practice tomorrow?”

            “I told you it was canceled, right? When I called you this afternoon?”

            Levi faintly remembered the younger male calling him he was staying the night since their practice was canceled. Due to the amount of work he had, it easily slipped out of his mind. “Oh yeah, sorry. Just had a lot of work.”

            “It’s a good thing your boss didn’t catch you drinking while on the job. How did you manage to sneak in alcohol anyway?” Eren asked, sitting at the foot of the bed while Levi rummaged his closet.

            “Hm? Oh, no. I met Farlan when I got out of the office. We went to his place,” the older male casually stated. His back faced the brunet which was why he failed to see how Eren’s expression changed from understanding to anger. It was only when he finished putting a shirt over his head and turned around that he saw the other male glaring at him.

            Levi raised a questioning a brow at him. “What?”

            “Why didn’t you tell me you’re with him?” he fumed.

            “Are you my mom now? Do I need to tell you every single thing I do?”

            “Of course I need to know! I’m your boyfriend. I have the right to know if you’re going to get drunk with another guy!” Eren roared.

            Levi couldn’t help but glare and join the shouting match. “What the fuck, Eren?! Farlan is my friend!”

            “Yeah, a friend who’s also your ex-fuck buddy,” the brunet pointed out.

            “Are you implying that I slept with him?”

            “Didn’t you? I can’t remember the last time we even had sex or touched each other intimately. How do I know you’re not going behind my back and fucking other men?”

            Anger and hurt coursed through Levi’s body. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He knew Eren’s issues but he never thought that the brunet would think of him that way. “Do you really think I would do that to you? Is that how low you think of me?”

            Eren must have broken out of his enraged trance when his eyes widened in horror and immediately crossed the distance between them and pulled him into his arms. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” the younger male profusely apologized.

            Levi could feel him tremble as he started crying, his own anger ebbing away. No matter how painful Eren’s accusations were, he didn’t have the heart to stay mad at him when the younger male was like this. Eren crying was one of the most heartbreaking things he didn’t want to see.

            “Shh, it’s okay,” Levi comforted, rubbing circles on his back. “I’m sorry, too.”

            Eren still clung to him like he was about to disappear in any second. “I’m just scared that I’m going to lose you. That you’re going to find someone else. We’re always fighting lately and it made me think that you’re getting tired of me.”

            The older male cupped the other’s jaw and brought his face close to his. “Believe me when I say I’ll never get tired of you. I love you, Eren. We might fight now and then, but that’s normal in a relationship. All I ask is that you trust me.”

            Viridian eyes locked gazes with him. Levi meant what he said and he hoped that Eren would keep that in mind. The younger male’s tears finally ceased but still didn’t let go of him. It was true that it had been a while since they were last together like this- holding and gazing at each other with love and fondness. Not wasting a second more, Levi pressed his lips on Eren’s slowly at first before deepening it.

            “Mm, I missed this,” the raven breathed out, a small smile breaking out of his face.

            “Me, too. I’m sorry again for thinking you’re cheating on me.”

            Levi placed another chaste kiss on Eren’s lips as a sign that he forgave him. “Can we just put this behind us? As much as how delicious you taste, I’m craving for real food right now. Haven’t had a proper meal since lunch.”

            Eren chuckled and he led his boyfriend out of the room and into the kitchen. He made him sit at one of the bar stools and proceeded to heat up a meal for the raven. There was still sadness and guilt evident on the brunet’s face but Levi tried his best to cheer him up by being extra clingy.

            When they went to bed that night, they were still clinging to each other. Eren was the first one to conk out, leaving Levi to his thoughts. His conversation with Farlan earlier came back to him and got him second-guessing. He wondered how Eren would react if he found out he applied for a job in Sina. He definitely would be angry, there’s no doubt about that. But Farlan was right—if Eren really did love him he would support him and if he didn’t… That’s another story altogether.

* * *

 

            Levi could feel an oncoming headache as he sorted out a bunch of documents that Nile gave him. Some of them weren’t even his to complete, but he couldn’t really complain. He was in the middle of all of it when he was interrupted by a ding from his laptop. Groaning lowly, he expected to see another email from Nile telling him to revise his report. However, when he looked at his laptop screen, he was surprised to see it coming from his personal account rather than his work email. But what surprised him more was that the sender’s name was ZCG’s HR.

            His heart started beating fast as he opened the email. His eyes glued to each and every word and he almost jumped from his seat by the end of it. He was scheduled for a video interview on Friday!

            Headache momentarily forgotten, Levi quickly typed out his response. When that was settled, he leaned back on his chair and smiled. It was another sign. He knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up since he still would have to go through the interview, but he couldn’t stop the spread of the euphoric feeling within him. The raven looked around his surroundings and the thought of leaving this hellhole made him grin even wider.

            When Friday came, he called in sick. Nile spewed some bullshit threat of doubling his usual workload on Monday but he couldn’t care less. Eventually, he let Levi off and the latter got ready for his interview. It was only 8 and his interview was scheduled at 10, giving him enough time to prepare. He was nervous yet eager to give his best. He had been waiting for this opportunity and now it was here. He’d never pass up this chance.

            But as Levi looked at himself on the mirror, Eren suddenly popped into his mind. The art student was completely unaware of what he was about to do. A part of Levi was panicking and telling him to not push through but a bigger part of him egged him on, convincing him that this was his only chance at being free. It was as if there were an angel and a devil on his shoulders and he honestly couldn’t determine which one was which.

            Thirty minutes before the interview, he set up his laptop in his living room and prayed that his Internet connection wouldn’t go all wonky on him. He made sure that his spot had good lighting and after checking his appearance on the mirror for the nth time, his laptop finally rang.

            Taking a deep breath, Levi accepted the call and a woman with strawberry blond hair and big amber eyes came on screen. She introduced herself as Petra Ral, HR head of Zackley Consulting Group. She looked friendly and peppy, making Levi comfortable talking to her. They went over some basic information at first before discussing his degree and work experience. There were also situational questions asked that he confidently answered. Petra kept nodding and smiling, boosting Levi’s hopes.

            Before he knew it, the HR head was wrapping things up.

            “Well Mr. Ackerman, it has been a pleasure interviewing you. You definitely have the skills and qualifications to come work with us, unfortunately—” Levi’s breath hitched—“I still have to forward your application to the immediate supervisor for a final review. But don’t worry! Mr. Smith will be delighted to have you on his team if you ask me. The review’s just for formalities’ sake.”

            Levi let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you very much for your time, Ms. Ral.”

            “You’ll be hearing from us in a week’s time to discuss more about the job, Mr. Ackerman. I wish you the best of luck!” Petra said chirpily. As soon as the call ended, Levi’s heart soared. Nothing was final yet, but based on Petra’s words, he was definitely in, right?

Grabbing his phone, he called for the person who deserved to know his situation.

            _“Hello?”_

“Hey, Far. Quick question. If the HR told you that they’ll call after a week for a final review and talk more about the job, does that mean you got in?”

            _“I think so, yeah. Why?”_

“If that’s the case, I may have gotten the job at ZCG,” Levi quietly mumbled.

            _“That’s great, Levi! I told you-you would get it!”_ Farlan cheered on the other side of the line. _“Have you told Eren yet?”_

            Shit. Eren. “Uh, no. Not yet.”

            The other line went quiet for a moment. _“You should tell him now, Levi.”_

“I know. It’s just that… I don’t know how to tell him. I know he will get mad over this,” the raven explained, running his hand through his hair.

            _“The longer you delay it, the harder it will be.”_

“You’re right…”

            _“I gotta go. I still have class. Congrats again, Levi. I’m so happy you’re finally reaching your dream.”_ Farlan’s words warmed him. If only Eren would be as enthusiastic as his friend, then maybe everything would be alright.

            Levi didn’t go out for the rest of the day. Instead, he began to type up his resignation letter which he would give to Nile after his next call with Petra. It felt good writing it and it would definitely feel better when he would serve it up to his rat-faced boss. And with that finished, the only thing that was standing in his way was how to tell Eren.

            But the raven found out it was hard to get some time with the brunet due to the latter’s basketball practices. With the upcoming championship game, their team had been practicing daily. Levi figured he could just tell Eren after the game or when it’s official that he got in, so he waited for a week. Petra did call him just as she said and was overly pleased to tell Levi that Mr. Smith had approved his application. He wanted to cry out of happiness.

            “Since you’re quite far from Sina, we decided it might be best if you start next month so you have an ample amount of time to get situated. Would that be alright?”

            “Yes!” Levi said with enthusiasm. “It’s more than enough. Thank you so much, Ms. Ral!”

            The petite woman giggled. “We’ll be seeing you then, Mr. Ackerman.”

            Levi couldn’t believe it. He finally landed the job. He was going to Sina. His dream of a better life for him and his mother. With the resignation letter in hand, Levi strode towards Nile’s office and slid the paper on his table. One of the man’s thin, dark eyebrows rose as he picked up the paper and glanced at its contents. At first, there was anger on his face but morphed into a smirk.

            “Finally had enough, eh? Couldn’t handle the heat?” he taunted. “I thought you were better than this. But if this is what you really want, have it your way then.”

            Levi knew Nile was just riling him up so he kept his temperament in check. “Thank you, Mr. Dok,” he said in his most polite voice.

            The man didn’t say anything more but continued smirking as the raven got out of the office. He only had two weeks left in this godforsaken office. He surely wouldn’t miss it. Going back to his station, he browsed for available apartment units in Sina instead of working.

* * *

 

            Eren’s championship game was on Tuesday night and Levi came early to watch. The gang was completely ready to cheer their hearts out. Sasha, Connie, and Hanji donned their school colors using face paint. Hanji wanted Levi to have his face painted also, but retreated when the raven threatened to break her nose and glasses. Farlan, on the other hand, kept giving him looks to which he only shrugged. He knew he wanted to ask if he had told Eren already.

            _Later_ , he mouthed to Farlan. The blond nodded and resumed watching the game.

            It was a close fight with the two teams battling neck and neck in every quarter. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, screaming as loudly as they can. People surrounding Hanji might have even gone deaf because of her screeching. Levi and Mikasa growled every time an opponent got physical with Eren. Sasha and Connie were eating and cheering at the same time. Only Farlan, Armin, and Moblit were probably the calmest among them.

            Fifteen seconds left on the clock and Maria University was down by two points. The other team’s defense made it hard for them to get a shot but at the last five seconds, Jean made a good pass to Eren who was behind the arc. Without any other choice but to shoot, the brunet jumped and released the ball.

            The crowd went wild as Eren successfully made the shot. They were now up by one and the opponent only had a second left. The home team tightened up their defense and sealed the win with a block by their tallest player, Bertholdt Hoover. Everybody was jumping up and down, screaming, and giving each other high-fives. Levi felt proud that it was Eren who nailed the winning shot.

            When their team emerged from the dugout with big smiles on their faces, Levi and the squad quickly ran up to Eren and Jean. The raven quickly pulled his boyfriend down for a rough kiss, earning hoots and cries from everyone. PDA be damned. Levi had every right to do it. Hanji announced that they should go out for celebratory drinks and everybody agreed. Eren took Levi’s hand and started walking out of the campus.

            “Levi! Hey, Levi!” A familiar voice called out to him. Turning around, Levi saw Gunther rushing towards him.

            “Hey, Gunther. What’s up?”

            “I heard that you got the job!” The raven froze. “It’s a bummer I didn’t get in. My friend told me it’s hard to get past the screening. You must be really lucky then, huh?”

            “Um…”

            “Well, I just came to say congratulations. I hope you’ll do well in Sina!” Levi wanted to die right then and there. “And Eren, that was a killer dagger! Congrats on winning the game!” Gunther gave them all a smile before leaving.

            “Levi? Did I hear that right? You got a job in Sina?” It was Hanji who was the first to ask. Before he could answer, she was hugging him tightly. “Oh, pumpkin! I knew you’d reach your dreams! I’m so happy for you!”

            He looked over her shoulder and saw the others smiling and giving him their own praises. Except for two people: Eren and Farlan. The architecture student looked alternately between him and Eren, whose lips were formed in a straight line and had a blank look. Levi’s heart thumped wildly. This wasn’t the way he imagined when he would finally tell Eren. This wasn’t what he planned. He wanted to tell him himself.

            When he was released by Hanji, Eren strode towards him with an unreadable expression. “What was that all about?” the brunet probed grimly.

            “Eren…” Levi reached for his hand but the younger male grabbed both of his wrists and pulled the shorter male towards him. Eren’s eyes were now burning with anger and the grip on his wrists tightened considerably.

            “Tell me!” he shouted, gaining a few looks from strangers and silencing their friends.

            “Can we talk about this later? After the party?”

            “No. We’re going to talk about this now,” Eren differed. “We’re going back to your apartment.” He let go one of his wrists but the other remained as the art student hauled him. He turned to look at the others who were calling his attention.

            “Don’t follow. This is between me and Levi,” he ordered and they stopped in their tracks. Levi looked back to them and they all had the same worried expressions. He couldn’t blame them; the Eren they were all seeing now was a completely different person. The raven was actually scared of him.

            The trip back to his apartment was silent but Levi could feel the brunet’s menacing aura. As soon as the front door closed, Eren faced him and pinned the raven to his spot with a dark glare.

            “What the hell, Levi?!”

            “Eren, please. Let me explain,” he pleaded.

            “So explain! Explain to me why you’re suddenly accepted at a job in Sina which I knew nothing about!” The brunet was breathing heavily now and Levi knew he didn’t have a choice but to come clean.

            “I hate my job,” he revealed, “and I hate my boss for being an unfair prick. I stormed out of the office one afternoon after he humiliated me and I accidentally met Gunther at a café. He was the one who gave me the email address of Zackley Consulting Group’s HR. Because I was desperate, I sent an application.”

            “When was this?”

            “More or less a month ago. I was interviewed two weeks ago and they only told me I passed the final review last Friday. They said I could start next month. I already gave my two weeks’ notice to my boss,” he answered, hoping that Eren would calm down even for a moment. He should’ve known better.

            “You’re leaving in a month?! Did you even plan on telling me? Or were you just going to leave me in the dark?” Eren spat.

            “No!” Levi cried. “I was going to tell you! I just didn’t know when the right time was.”

            “You had a lot of time! Or is it because you really didn’t want me to know?”

            The older male was slowly losing his patience to his younger lover. “I didn’t know how to tell you because I know you wouldn’t want me to leave! God, Eren! You’ve been saying all this time that you don’t want me to go far away from you and you expect that it’ll be easy for me to tell you?”

            “That’s another thing! You know I don’t want you to but you still want to move to Sina!”

            “Because that has been my fucking dream even before I met you!” Levi snapped. “Why can’t you be more supportive of me? Even Farlan was happy when I told him I got in.”

            The brunet’s body had gone rigid when he heard the information. Slowly, he approached Levi like a predator ready to catch his prey. His knuckles clenched tightly on his sides and his eyes were once again filled with raging fire.

            “Farlan knows?” Eren asked between gritted teeth. “He knows and I don’t? What? He’s your boyfriend now? Or did you two talk about it after you fucked?”

            The shorter male shoved him hard and it took every ounce of patience he had not to punch the brunet on the face. “How many times do I have to tell you we’re not sleeping together?! You don’t trust me at all, do you? That’s why you don’t want me to go to Sina.”

            “I don’t!” Eren bit back and Levi’s heart dropped at the confession. “Who knows what will happen if you get bored there? Do you expect me to believe that you will travel eleven fucking hours just to see me? Do you expect me to believe that you’re not going to find some casual fuck?”

            “Is that how you think of me? A cockslut?” Levi snarled. “I’ve been nothing but faithful to you and you still don’t trust me.”

            “It wouldn’t be a problem if you just stay here! If you really love me, you wouldn’t leave me like they did,” the brunet said with a hint of desperation. Levi could see the fear in his eyes and if it had been any other time, he would’ve given in. But now that his future was already set, he couldn’t bring himself to surrender.

            “If you really love me, you will support my decision and trust me. If you can’t do that, then that’s going to be a problem,” he warned the taller male.

            “You’re going to break up with me, is that it? You’re going to waste everything that we had?” Eren gripped Levi’s arm so hard the raven was sure the fingers would leave an imprint until the next day.

            Levi was tired. He was tired of the pointless fights and arguments. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t stop the next words from coming out of his mouth.

            “I’ve already wasted a lot of time with you! And yes, I would rather break up than let you stop me from going to Sina!”

            The tan hands that gripped him suddenly dropped and Levi stared at the shocked expression Eren was sporting. There was still the anger from earlier but the hurt started to take over. Tears ran down his beautiful face. The raven wanted to reach out and touch him, but he knew it was useless. The damage had been done; he couldn’t—and wouldn’t—take back the words. If Eren didn’t trust him to stay faithful, Levi had no choice but to end this.

            “Fuck you!” Eren sobbed. “Fuck you, Levi! I wish I haven’t met you!” Then he was running out of his apartment.

            Only then did the words the younger male uttered sink into Levi. And it hurt. _It fucking hurt._

            Levi slid down the wall and let out the tears he had been holding off. He felt like his heart was being ripped apart in pieces. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. It was as if everything stopped the moment Eren ran out. The hurtful words they exchanged kept replaying in his mind and each word sent a dagger to his heart.

            The night that should have ended with a colorful celebration had dimmed out, much like the love between the two people whose hearts were once filled with fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com/)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Pretend it's not forever  
>  I'll pull myself together   
> I'll say that I'll forget her  
> I'll breathe.  
> And I'll say she never hurt me   
> And look at it as learning  
> And laugh about the good and the bad."_
> 
> \- Discovering the Waterfront, Silverstein

            It had been days since their last encounter. Eren didn’t make an effort to reach out nor did Levi. No calls, no texts. The phone stayed silent.

            Levi was down to his last week at the office. Some of his tolerable officemates expressed their sadness of him leaving. Of course, his day wouldn’t be complete without Hitch loudly voicing her happiness that their floor would have one less pain in the ass. Some laughed, some glared at her, but Levi didn’t care what she spewed. He had a lot of problems as of the moment and Hitch didn’t deserve to be a part of them.

            Truth be told, he hadn’t been sleeping well since that night with Eren. The raven was at a loss on where they stood and he’d kept replaying it over and over in his mind. There were hurtful things they had said to each other but what really pained him the most was the last thing Eren told him before leaving.

            _“I wished I haven’t met you!”_

            Levi closed his eyes.

            He wondered if that was what Eren felt or it was just a product of the heightened tension. Because for Levi, even if the younger male had said some things about him, he would never regret meeting him.

            Hanji and Farlan came by the day after that. They were concerned about what happened especially when Armin left hurriedly without any explanation. Levi told them what transpired and his friends listened intently. Farlan was clearly pissed off, although he chose not to voice it out.

            But even with everything, Levi was still set on pursuing the job. While he loved Eren, he couldn’t just let the dream go now that it was in his grasp. He couldn’t just waste it. He had already called his mother about it and she squealed in happiness and told him how she was proud of him. Even his uncle had a few nice words for him. So why was Eren the only person that seemed against him?

            His last day at the office came and went. He only had a few days to pack until he was finally going to move to Sina on Wednesday. Levi had found a charming yet inexpensive apartment on the Internet. He called the number posted on the site to inquire about the place and a nice-sounding lady came to the phone. They agreed to see the unit when he would arrive at Sina next week. Levi hoped the place would be nice as it was advertised; it would make his move easier.

            On Sunday afternoon, while Levi was trying to cram his countless school papers into one box, a knock came on the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone, but it was probably Hanji dropping by again with a ridiculous amount of food. Ready to kick the annoying mad scientist wannabe, he opened the door with a glare—only to die down when he realized it wasn’t Hanji at the door, but Eren.

            Levi couldn’t feel a bit concerned with how the art student looked. Tired with bloodshot eyes and overall downcast aura. The brunet snuck one glance at the raven before looking down at the ground.

            “Can I come in?” he asked softly.

            Maybe the right thing to do at the moment was to slam the door in his face or tell him to go fuck himself. But Levi didn’t have the heart to do it. Even with the things said between them, he just couldn’t turn him away. Not when his love for Eren was still there, still present within him.

            The shorter male nodded and opened the door wide enough for his unexpected visitor to come in. They went into the living room where a few boxes with Levi’s stuff were placed. Eren glanced at them with a blank look and then sat on one end of the couch. His behavior was like a first-time guest on the apartment and acted as if he hadn’t been a part of Levi’s home for a year. It didn’t sit right with the raven who sat on the opposite end. They weren’t sitting far from each other but the distance felt like miles apart.

            “You’re not going to change your mind, are you?” Eren asked, hands firmly resting on his lap.

            Levi turned his head to Eren’s direction and immediately felt guilty when he saw the forlorn look on the usually cheerful face. He wanted to come near him and take the young man in his arms. To feel the warmth he had always loved. To hold the boy he loved with all of his heart. But Levi didn’t budge and stayed in his place.

            “Yeah,” the raven replied weakly, “I’m leaving on Wednesday.”

            Eren nodded. “I won’t be long then. I’ll just pick up my things and I’m out of your hair.”

            “Eren…” Levi sighed. “Don’t be like this. We can still try and make it work.”

            The brunet exhaled, becoming exasperated. He ran his hands on his face and then pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. “I want to. Believe me, I do. It’s just that…. I _can’t_. I’m not meant for long-distance relationships. That’s why I want you to stay. I’m a selfish bastard and I want you here with me,” the younger male expressed.

            “God, Eren, I wish I could,” Levi asserted, “but I just can’t waste this opportunity to work there. You know how much I want to help out my mom.”

            “But you can do that without leaving Maria. I’ll even help you find a job. Just… Don’t go. Please.” It was Eren’s last feeble attempt on making him stay, Levi knew it, but it wouldn’t change anything.

            “I’m sorry,” the raven breathed out and the brunet deflated even more. “I’m not going to change my mind. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. But Eren, don’t think that you’re not important to me just because I’m leaving. You are and will always be important to me. I love you.”

            “But not enough to make you stay. I get it now,” Eren replied curtly, the momentary desperate expression morphed into an empty one so quickly. “I’m getting my things.”

            “Eren…” Levi sighed but the younger male didn’t bother to look back at him as he sauntered to the raven’s bedroom. 

            Levi buried his face in his hands, thousands of thoughts swirling in his mind. Everything was a mess. He could barely keep his bearings together. Eren didn’t seem to understand what he said. Maybe he didn’t believe it but why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t as if he would jump on the first guy he would meet in Sina. He wasn’t even thinking of finding another man because for him, Eren was enough.

            The brunet soon emerged from the bedroom, his backpack already with things he left in the apartment. Standing awkwardly beside the kitchen counter, he cleared his throat to grab Levi’s attention.

            “I got my things,” Eren announced, clutching the bag straps tightly, “I should probably go. And Levi?”

             The raven raised his head to look at the brunet who looked down at his feet when their eyes met briefly.

            “I’m… I’m sorry if I… if I wasn’t good enough for you.”

            Immediately, Levi got up to his feet and moved towards Eren. The younger male was on the verge of tears. The raven tried to reach out to him but the other only gasped in shock and stepped backward. Both of their hearts were breaking; it was a moment wherein they wanted to close the gap between them and hold each other because both of them knew that as soon as the other would step out the door, it was their end. Yet they also didn’t want to because they knew it would be unfair to the both of them. There was so much confusion and all they could do was secretly savor their final minutes together.

            Levi raked his eyes over Eren, memorizing every feature and flaw so that he wouldn’t forget. Not that he could anyway since he brunet had already imprinted himself on him. The older male had already committed Eren’s appearance to memory. When he couldn’t sleep at night and the brunet slept like a log, Levi would always trace his features and admire his boyfriend.

            On the other hand, Eren didn’t look up. The raven could see his lip trembling and fists clenching as if any minute he would break down.

            “I-I have to go. I don’t want to disturb you anymore,” the brunet said as he turned around to walk out. Something snapped inside Levi and grabbed the other’s wrist. The realization hit him hard that it was probably going to be the last time he would see him.

            “I love you, Eren.”

            Eren pulled his arm away from Levi’s grip and faced the shorter male with fury. “Stop! Just stop it, Levi! Stop lying!”

            “Why are you assuming I’m lying? I’m not! I do love you!”

            “Don’t say you love me when you’re still going to leave!” Eren yelled. “I’m not falling for this again. I’m tired of hearing people saying they love me and then they’ll fuck other people behind my back because they’re far away!”

            It’s becoming like the argument they had when they last saw each other so Levi chose to back down. He learned after the last time that arguing when emotions were high wasn’t ideal. If they continue, they would most likely spout things they would regret later on. Eren was breathing heavily as he let out steam. When he calmed down, he turned his back on Levi and headed for the door. He shot one last look over his shoulder to Levi as he grabbed the doorknob.

            “Goodbye, Levi.”

            Then the door closed and so was Levi’s eyes.

            His apartment suddenly became quieter even with the sounds of cars passing by outside. Loneliness seeped into the walls and reached him. It wasn’t the first time somebody said goodbye; the situation wasn’t new to him. But to hear it coming from Eren was different. The painful meaning of the word was magnified. He started crying silently but carried on packing his stuff.

            Levi realized it wasn’t just Eren who felt like history was repeating itself; it was also the same for him. His relationship with the younger male ended because he couldn’t dedicate all of his time to him—just like all of his past relationships. The only difference was that this time, he was very much invested with Eren. His feelings towards the brunet were too strong and powerful.

            Eren had become his rise and his downfall.

* * *

 

            Kuchel and Kenny were waiting outside his apartment building early Wednesday morning. Levi was just settling some things with his landlord before he met up with his family and his friends who came by to see him off. Hanji was bawling when she saw him and clung to him as if they wouldn’t be seeing each other anymore.

            “Stop bawling out here, shitty glasses. Some people aren’t awake yet.”

            “But I’m going to miss your cute, little grumpy face! You have to call me everyday or else I’m going to follow you there”

            “Don’t be such a drama queen, shitty glasses. I’ll try to Skype you once a week if that’s what it takes to stop you from going there,” Levi answered indifferently but hugged the brunette. He then turned to Farlan who had a soft smile on his face.

            “Take care of yourself, okay?” the blond reminded. “Good luck.”

            “Thanks. Take care of Hanji while I’m away,” the raven urged his friend who shook his head.

            “Oh no, no. That’s Moblit’s responsibility. Pretty sure when you get back he’s going to look like a grandpa.”

            “Hey!” Hanji interjected. “Even if Moby has white hair, I’ll still like him! Come to think of it, maybe he’ll rock that look. It’s a nice suggestion, Far. I’ll tell him to dye his hair. Thanks!”

            Levi cracked a small smile. Hanji and Moblit really were an eccentric couple. One was too much energetic while the other was calm and collected. But despite their glaring differences, they complemented each other perfectly. Briefly, he wondered if it weren’t for him leaving, he and Eren would also be like them sans Hanji’s weirdness. He suddenly felt envious of his friends’ relationship.

            Speaking of Eren, Levi knew he shouldn’t but he still expected the brunet to suddenly appear right in front of him to stop him from leaving just like in the movies. He could imagine him running down to his apartment, sweating and panting but still having that stubborn determination. Unfortunately, that’s all that was: his imagination. Eren wouldn’t do that, not after their falling out. However, it still made his heart ache to know that maybe he wasn’t really as special to Eren as he thought.

            Mikasa, on the other hand, was surprisingly present that morning. Levi didn’t know how she knew what time he was leaving, but she was already there when he came down and was talking quietly with Kuchel. He expected her to get angry with him for hurting Eren but when their eyes met, she was sporting her usual stony expression.

            “Don’t have too much fun in Sina,” she warned Levi.

            “I won’t. Trust me,” he stated, recognizing the meaning behind her words.

            Mikasa nodded and then lowered her voice so that only the shorter male could hear her. “I’m sorry about Eren. He just doesn’t understand sometimes. Please don’t worry about him, I’ll make sure to keep him in line.”

            The sincerity in her words and eyes soothed Levi. He thought his cousin would side with Eren due to her closeness with him but maybe he was wrong. She understood their situation and something about that calmed Levi down.

            “Thank you.”

            Levi got one last bone-crunching bear hug from Hanji before he was able to ride in Kenny’s car. He glanced back at the odd bunch he called friends. He didn’t know when he would be able to return when he would next see them. It sunk into him that he wouldn’t be seeing Eren for a long time. That he left the person he truly loved. That he let go of the one person who was able to put up with him in any way. The raven watched as his friends became smaller and then he started breathing heavily.

            “Honey, are you okay?” Kuchel asked, rubbing his back softly.

            “Mom… Mom, let’s go back. I-I don’t think I can do… this. Mom… Eren. I have… I have to see him,” Levi panicked and his mother looked downcast. She held him close and let him cry softly. He might come off as emotionally distant but there were rare times when he let his guard down. Before, his mother was the sole reason for that but now, it seemed that Eren also had triggered that side of him as well.

            “It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. Everything will be okay,” Kuchel assured. When Levi spilled that he and Eren broke up, she was devastated. She didn’t say anything bad about the brunet and he was grateful for it. The raven didn’t want to put him in a bad light despite everything. He didn’t want to taint the image of Eren as the bubbly and charming person that he really was. And that image was currently engraved in his mind.

            Eren’s smiles and laughs echoed in his ears. He could feel phantom touches where the younger male would hold and caress him. He could feel his plump lips against his whenever they show their love and affection for each other. Eren was all around him.

            Levi’s mother continued to comfort him until he passed out from exhaustion. He lay on his mother’s lap and Kuchel could only brush her slender fingers through his hair to help his brokenhearted son. 

* * *

 

            Levi slept throughout most of the trip except when they had to stop over for a quick meal. It was already late afternoon when they arrived in Sina and checked in at a motel which passed Levi’s standards. He felt slightly better after his slumber, yet there was still the nagging feeling inside. He decided to brush it off for the moment. They were going to see the apartment owned by the nice lady tomorrow. Levi hoped the place was as good as it was advertised so he didn’t have to agonize over lodging issues.

            Thankfully, the apartment was better than he expected and the owner, Mrs. Anderson, was a joy to talk to. The apartment complex was in a generally peaceful area and not crowded. It was also near a bus stop so that was plus points for Levi. Mrs. Anderson led the Ackermans to the studio unit on the fourth floor while talking about more of the place. When she opened the door, Levi was pleased to see it sparkling clean, nodding unconsciously in appreciation.

            The unit’s walls were ivory in color and had hardwood flooring. The small kitchen area was located on the left side upon entering and then the rest of the place appeared as they went in further. On the right side was the living room complete with a couch, a coffee table, and a TV. The bed was situated on the left side with a bookshelf covering it from the living room. There was also a door leading to the bathroom and a small laundry area beside the bedroom.

            It was a downgrade from his apartment back in Maria but Sina had a higher cost of living and Levi was lucky to even find a decent apartment at a reasonable price. He didn’t have to decide any longer and expressed his intentions of renting the apartment. Mrs. Anderson was delighted and let him know that he could start moving his stuff in tomorrow.

             That night, Levi lay on the bed thinking about Eren. He wondered what he was doing or who he was with. Was he already sleeping or out with his friends? Was he still thinking of him?

            Levi groaned. He wanted to hit himself for acting like a teenager when it came to Eren. It was the first time after a long time that he was like this towards another guy… No. It was the first and only time he was like this. No one except Eren made him feel like he would burst because of overwhelming emotions. No one would ever compare to him.

            Levi wished he would see him again someday.

***

            It took them two days to move all of his stuff in.

            One glance at his new apartment made Levi smile in excitement. He was finally going to live in Sina where his dream job was. The efforts he made throughout college had brought him here.

            Kuchel and Kenny had to leave the day after he moved in. His mother cried while telling him how much she was proud of him and how he should take care of himself now that he was really far away not just from her but also from his friends.

            “Don’t drink too much and eat healthy foods!” his mother reminded him.

            “Mom, stop being fussy. I’ll be fine,” the raven grumbled as he was being smothered by the older Ackerman.

            “Can you blame me? My baby’s far away. You have to call me from time to time or else.”

            “You’re starting to sound like Hanji.”

            Kuchel reluctantly let him go after peppering his face with kisses. Kenny stood right outside the door and smirked at him.

            “All this driving you around… I should start charging you,” he joked.

            “Don’t worry, old man. I’m planning on buying my own car when I save enough money so I’ll not be forced to ride anymore in your stinky car,” Levi retorted with no actual venom. Kenny’s old car wasn’t really stinky. Well, it was until Levi lectured him on how to take care of his own vehicle.

            “Ah, Kuchel,” Kenny snorted as he turned to his sister, “the little runt’s right. He’s going to be fine. We should really head back as soon as possible.”

            Levi’s mother nodded and pulled him closer once more to give him a suffocating hug. He returned the gesture and squeezed her lightly, silently letting her know he was going to miss her too. His uncle, as usual, ruffled his hair as his way of giving affection which made him groan in disapproval for messing up his hair. It was nearing lunch when his mother and uncle left, leaving him all alone at his new apartment in a new city.

            For his remaining free days, Levi took the opportunity to roam around and learning about the bus routes and landmarks of Sina. The new city was bigger and more vibrant when compared to Maria. The raven had a nice time going around during the day, mentally taking notes of places which might be helpful to him in case of emergencies; however, everything became differently come bedtime. While he was grateful for being there, homesickness began to settle on his nerves. What’s baffling was that he was homesick for Maria and not Stohess. His friends were all together in one place while he was all alone. He wondered how they were all doing and if they ever thought about him. 

            The memories led from his friends to Eren. _His Eren._

            Levi didn’t notice that he was starting to cry as he lay down on the bed. He hated how much power Eren had on him. But even if he had been a dick before he left, the raven still loved the shitty brat. What was he doing right now? Did he think of him before he went to sleep? Levi missed his touches and the comfortable warmth he emitted. Eren was and felt like home which was most likely triggering his homesickness.

            The days went by like that: days were spent knowing about the city and nights were filled with tears and heartaches.

            A day before his first day at work, Levi had finally got tired of crying over things. Eren hadn’t messaged him and seemed like he really didn’t want to talk to the raven. He was tired of waiting for something that might not be going to happen. It sucked. Being in love sucked. Being in love with someone who didn’t want to support him was even worse. So, he tried to put the brunet out of his mind and focus on other things like shopping for necessities.

            The excitement of going to work in a new environment invigorated Levi as Monday came. Even if he was still in his apartment, there was a certain buzz in the atmosphere. He put on music as background noise that effectively helped him calm his nerves. There was an even small smile on his face which might be a good sign for him.

            And as he stepped out of his new apartment on that Monday morning, amidst the city noises and people walking by, that’s when it him.

            He was finally free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...no, you're not lol
> 
> Sorry this is crappy but I had a hard time writing. Anyway, I'd like to consider this chapter as the end of the fic's first arc. Now that Levi and Eren aren't together and the former has finally pursued his dreams in Sina, what will happen now? Will they meet again in the future? Will they find someone else or will one of them have a hard time letting go? 
> 
> What do _you_ think? I can't wait to write for the second arc of the story because it will have more drama and angst!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Stuck in the sand with the waves at my feet  
>  And I wish you'd crash into me  
> 'Cause where you are is where I want to be now  
> Where are you now?"_
> 
> \- Where Are You Now, The Summer Set

            Levi boarded the bus going to the office with a skip in his step and a content look on his face. It had been five months since he began working for Zackly Consulting Group and he was enjoying every day. Admittedly, he was a nervous wreck on his first day. He didn’t know how many times he smoothed his outfit before he walked inside the sleek-looking building housing the famous ZCG. His nervousness doubled when he met his boss.

            Erwin Smith was the definition of classy. He had blond hair parted neatly on the side and styled with an undercut that was never out of place whenever he moved, glacier blue eyes that looked like it was boring through a person’s soul, and his toned body was perfectly accentuated by his blue pinstripe suit. He towered over everybody and exuded an aura of elegance, confidence, and authority. Levi tried not to fidget in his seat as his new boss gazed at him from behind his desk. It was a minute or two before the tall blond man broke the silence.

            “Mr. Ackerman, we are pleased to have you here in Zackly Group. As you might know by now, my name is Erwin Smith and I’m the project manager assigned to show you the ropes. Technically, you’re under me but you may be called by other managers. How do you find here so far?”

            The raven cleared his throat before answering, “It’s very refreshing, sir. To be quite honest, I’m really excited to start working.”

            Erwin smiled warmly. “I’m very glad to hear that. And there’s no need for formalities. The first thing you need to learn is that you call everyone by our first names.”

            “Are you sure?” Levi asked, skeptically.

            “I know it’s hard at first, but you’ll get used to it eventually. Now,” Erwin said, skimming over Levi’s application, “I see you worked under Nile Dok. If you don’t mind me asking, how was that experience for you?”

            Levi seemed puzzled at the question and didn’t know how exactly to respond to that. Should he tell him the truth or bullshit it and paint Nile in a good light? That made him want to puke. His former boss did not deserve to be described in kind words. He would rather die than utter a single nice word regarding Nile.

            Erwin sensed his hesitation to answer as he encouraged, “You can say what you really want to say. I won’t judge you.”

            _Well, if he really is persistent…_ “He’s a downright asshole with a face of a rat,” Levi answered with a straight face.

            The blond across the desk look startled and the raven felt nervous that he was going to be reprimanded for using inappropriate language in the workplace. He was about to apologize when Erwin suddenly laughed heartily.

            “Nile hasn’t really changed, has he?” he asked after calming down.

            “You know him?”

            “We went to the same university and also worked together in our first job. Even then, he already had a rat face. It’s just unfortunate that his head seemed to have gotten bigger,” Erwin sighed.

            “You have no idea,” Levi mumbled quietly.

            “It’s a shame they let you go that easily. On the other hand—” Erwin smiled warmly—“ _we_ are very fortunate that you are here to work with us. Your skills will be very valuable. What do you say? Let’s start the show, shall we?”

            And with that, Levi began his new life at Sina.

            In the five months that he was under Erwin’s wing, he learned a lot more than what he acquired during his stay at his old job. He also learned that his boss was very intelligent and very cunning at the same time. As he watched from the sidelines, Levi was fascinated yet sometimes disturbed by how the tall blond was able to play his cards. He was honored that he got to train under him and admittedly, there was some sort of fondness he developed for the older man. Despite that, Levi knew it wasn’t romantic; maybe it was idol worship or maybe he just saw as a father figure by the way he took care of him. He’d never tell that to Erwin, though.

            The raven also got along with other employees. Thankfully, there were no Hitch and the minions' counterparts. Competitiveness still thrived in the workplace but not intense. Although, there was a guy, Oluo Bozardo, who thought highly of himself most of the time. But when Levi and Petra met personally and immediately clicked, the raven noticed that Oluo would copy his mannerisms and style at times. It weirded him out a bit but he let the guy do what he wanted. All Levi wished for was that the other male would stop biting his tongue.

            Every day, he was grateful for working in a conducive place. There was a lot to learn and a lot to experience. However, there were still times that Levi was hit with homesickness. He would call his mother regularly and Hanji on the weekends, though his glasses friend would bombard him with messages to call her. Sometimes she would be at her house, drowning in her research, and sometimes, she was with their other friends for their Saturday dinner. He remembered when he was still in his first month in Sina and called Hanji for the first time.

            _Levi wanted to hear a familiar voice from Maria. His first instinct was to call Eren but he knew it wasn’t right. He went on to check if Hanji was online and was relieved when he saw she was. Clicking on the video call button, he waited for his friend to answer. When Hanji accepted the call, Levi’s screen was immediately filled with a very close-up image of her friend’s face and his speakers almost blew out by the loudness of Hanji’s screech._

_“LEVI! You called! I miss you, do you miss me? How’s Sina? How’s work? What does your apartment look like? Can I visit next week? And ooh! Have you tried breaking into the Museum of Sina? I heard it’s great!” Hanji babbled._

_He was definitely going to have a headache by the end of this call. He just knew it._

_“What the fuck, shitty glasses? I didn’t move here to be a criminal. And stop yapping, you’re making my ears bleed.”_

_“Aww, I know you miss me too, pumpkin.”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“Love you, too! Oh! There are people who miss you as well! Guys, it’s Levi! Say hi!” Hanji shoved her phone off to an unsuspecting Armin. Turned out, they were in the middle of dinner. Her phone was passed around the table and everyone made casual conversation with him. He wouldn’t admit it but he missed spending time with his bizarre group of friends. He was still adjusting to his new environment so he spent most of his time alone. Although he wasn’t really close to them, he already formed a bond with everyone. And yet, even if it was satisfying their faces, there was one absent from the group._

            _Eren wasn’t there. Not even a glimpse of the bright-eyed brunet as the phone was passed from person to person. So when Farlan ended his long-ass reminders to him, Hanji retrieved her phone and went out to the balcony area of the bistro where there were no customers._

_“So, how are you really?” Hanji asked in all seriousness._

_“I’m fine. Still adjusting, but it’s okay.” Levi hesitated a bit before getting the courage to ask, “How’s Eren?”_

_His friend’s face suddenly fell into a solemn expression. “I’m not gonna lie, Levi. The last time I saw him was a week ago and he really looks like shit. Armin said he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He doesn’t even go to our weekly dinners.”_

_Levi’s heart ached. A tiny part of him rejoiced that Eren hadn’t met anyone new, but the big part of him worried about Eren. Normally, the younger male wouldn’t stay angry for a long time. “Can you try, though? Try talking to him, I mean.”_

_“We’ll try, but he’s really devastated, you know?”_

_He felt the urge to cry. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to Eren. He didn’t want to hurt him any longer._

_Hanji must have seen the sudden change in Levi and immediately comforted him. “Oh, honey. We’ll do our best, okay? Don’t be sad now. I know this is hard for both of you, but you have to be strong. You have to keep going. Who knows? One day you’ll return and you and Eren will have your second chance. Don’t give up, Levi.”_

_“Thank you… I just…” he sighed. “You’re right. Just promise me you’ll take care of him and the other brats.”_

_The brunette mock-saluted on the camera. “Aye, aye, Captain!”_

_Levi ended the call, feeling lighter and hurting at the same time._

            It was hard for the first few months, but Levi gradually got used to his new life. Five months… He couldn’t believe he lasted this long away from his family and friends.

            _Away from Eren_.

            He shook that thought away. There were still times that his thoughts would wander back to the brunet. He had learned to control them, but once in a while, he couldn’t help it. Although, he was slowly getting accustomed to not having Eren, physically and emotionally. The raven didn’t have any plans to date soon, though. He was okay being with himself and spending time alone in his apartment, reading or watching a movie. That sounded like a good plan when he’d come home later.

            But he had a sinking feeling that his plans wouldn’t push through when he walked into their floor and everyone was crowding Erwin and showering him with greetings. Levi’s brows furrowed at the sight and headed straight to his cubicle to put his things down. The man of the hour magically appeared beside him with a beaming smile that irked Levi.

            “What, Eyebrows?” In the span of five months, Erwin and Levi had gotten close to the point that he was given permission to call him by a nickname. The shorter male didn’t want to at first because he was his superior for fuck’s sake. But the giant was really adamant, saying that they need to establish close ties, whatever the hell that meant. There was nothing he could do but to indulge the whims of his boss so he came up with the first word he thought of: Eyebrows.

            “Hello, Levi. How are you this morning?” Erwin asked, still smiling too much.

            The raven’s superior once stated that he had a good eye for things and Levi was now seeing through his act. There was something going on.

            “You’re going to ask me a favor, I know it. What is it?”

            “Ah, it’s not really a favor, but I’m inviting you to come with us to Desert Rose tonight.”

            “That’s the popular nightclub, right? Why?” Levi asked, suspiciously.

            A faint blush bloomed on the blond’s face which was very uncharacteristic of him. Erwin held his hand up, showing a beautiful ring on his finger. “I got engaged last night. I thought it would be nice to invite my employees to a celebration.”

            “Oh, wow,” the shorter male’s eyes widened at the revelation. “Congrats. I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend.”

            “Boyfriend, actually,” Erwin corrected and blushed even more. “Almost nobody knows I have one. I keep my private life away from work. But when I told Petra, she let it slip to one of her friends and the news traveled fast.”

            “Okay, so why are you inviting me?”

            The taller male huffed, “Why wouldn’t I invite you? You’re one of my best men here. Consider it also as a very late welcoming party for you. Come on, the others will be there. It will be fun.”

            Levi narrowed his eyes for a moment and looked at the man who was waiting in anticipation. He hadn’t been to any clubs or bars since he arrived at Sina. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to, but something kept holding him back from doing it. Some weekend nights, he would be ready to explore Sina’s nightlife and meet other people, then he would change his mind and retreat to his bed.

            Right now, he was tempted to decline the offer and curl up in his sheets instead. But maybe this was a sign saying it was the perfect time to go out. At least, he wouldn’t be alone.

            “Alright, Eyebrows. Just don’t be a crying drunk when the night ends,” Levi surrendered.

            The blond smirked victoriously. “Thank you, Levi,” he said and walked away.

              _Great, now my plans have gone to waste_ , Levi thought before sighing and sinking down to his chair. He could only hope that something eventful would happen later or else he would shave Erwin’s eyebrows if he passed out drunk.

* * *

            Desert Rose was brimming with people when they arrived. Maybe because it was a Friday night and everybody wanted to chill after another tiring week. Erwin had reserved a booth for them, making it less of a problem looking for somewhere to sit.

            Levi didn’t know the others invited by his boss so he sat on the same side with Petra and Oluo. From their location, they got a good angle of the dance floor and the bar. The raven eyed the crowded dance floor with disgust. Sweaty bodies intermingling and people shamelessly grinding on each other didn’t appeal to him right now which made him wonder when did that happen. When he was still in uni, he didn’t care about any of that. Getting lost in the music with a guy that he was sure he was would be leaving with at the end of the night was a normal thing for him.

            Was he maturing? Or was there another reason?

            Drinks were served in their table and everyone let out a loud cheer for Erwin’s engagement. Pretty soon, some of them were a little buzz and raring to show off their moves. Petra invited Levi to dance but declined so she turned to Oluo who accepted with too much enthusiasm. Levi had known Oluo’s big crush towards the petite strawberry blonde for quite a while now but the woman had yet to respond to his advances.

            The raven didn’t realize it was only him and Erwin on the table when the latter spoke up. “Don’t you want to dance, Levi?”

            “No,” he replied curtly. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be the one dancing? And where’s your fiancé?”

            “I haven’t drunk enough to go dancing. Maybe in a little while. Mike had to leave this afternoon for his work so he couldn’t come,” Erwin explained. “Anyway, I think it would be a nice time knowing more about you, Levi. You aren’t that sociable and you always keep to yourself.”

            The shorter male shrugged as he drank from his glass. “My life is not that interesting.”

            “Oh, come on. Surely you have things to tell? Like a boyfriend back home?” His boss inquired and he couldn’t help but freeze at it. Erwin cocked an eyebrow at the sudden change of posture.

            “No, I don’t,” Levi answered with a hint of bitterness. “And how in the hell did you know I like men?”

            The blond chuckled. “You may be hard to read sometimes, but whenever you see a hot guy, your gaze lingers a little longer than normal. I saw you eyeing up Nack Teaz from the third floor whenever he goes to ours.”

            Damn Erwin. Damn his eyebrows. Damn him and all to hell.

            “Shut up. It’s not like I’m planning on asking him out. I just appreciate an attractive man whenever I see one,” he tried to save himself.

            “So if you’re single, why don’t you try and find someone here? There are a lot of hot guys around,” Erwin suggested, gesturing to the swarm of people.

            “Excuse me? Are you saying I should go and hook up with someone?”

            “Why not?” the taller male shrugged. “You’re single, there’s nothing wrong with that. Besides, I trust you to know the dangers. You’re a smart man and I know you can take care of yourself.”

            It was weird having this kind of conversation with his boss of all people. Except for the part of Erwin encouraging him to hook up, all the other words were something he wanted to hear from another man. From Eren.

            A pang of sadness hit him. If Eren only believed in Levi maybe the raven wouldn’t be having this awkward talk with Erwin. Maybe he wouldn’t even be here at the club. He’d be at his apartment, talking to the brunet about random things until they would both fall asleep. Levi would be saving up for his future and theirs. Then he would go back to Maria and Eren would be there patiently waiting for him.

            But it didn’t and wouldn’t happen. That was the reality. He and Eren weren’t together anymore. The younger male chose not to believe in him. He didn’t have faith in him. And with those facts, Levi realized Erwin was right. He was single and very free to mingle. He shouldn’t let a guy drag him down. He was Levi Ackerman and he wasn’t one to tie himself down.

            A renewed energy flowed through him. This was definitely another sign that he should get back in the game again.

            “You know what? You’re right,” Levi said as he stood up from his seat. “I’m going to the bar and get something to drink.”

            Erwin beamed and waved at him. “Good luck! Stay safe!”

            He moseyed over to the bar with a confident gait and a smirk on his face. He found an empty barstool and flagged the bartender down. As Levi waited for his drink, he roamed his eyes around only to find a pair staring at him with intensity. They belonged to a man down on the left end of the bar. Said man had black, disheveled hair as if he had only woken up and a fringe that covered his right eye. He was observing Levi like a cat and a small smirk of his own. Even from a distance, the man was oozing confidence and sensuality.

            Yes, the man was perfect.

            They held each other gazes for a while and the other male broke the connection to make his way over to Levi. As the man stood to his full height (he was as tall as Erwin) and walked towards him, the raven could see he had Asian features and a slightly tan skin. Also, it wasn’t just his eyes resembling a cat, his movements were feline-like as well.

            Suddenly, time seemed to slow down for Levi. No, it wasn’t because he found his soulmate like what movies portrayed. It’s because his mind was conjuring images of a miserable Eren out of the blue.

_Do you expect me to believe that you’re not going to find some casual fuck?_

            _I’m tired of hearing people saying they love me and then they’ll fuck other people behind my back…!_

            The words kept repeating in his head and his earlier confidence evaporated. What was he doing? This wasn’t right. Why did he think this would be okay? He needed to get out. Quickly!

            But the man with the feline features was already sitting beside him and giving him a smoldering look. Levi clutched his glass tightly and was sure that it’d break. He didn’t dare to look at the other male.

            “Hey, you want a drink? By the way, I’m—” Levi detected a hint of an accent but he couldn’t place it. He didn’t care anyway as he cut him right off.

            “Not interested.”

            “Whoa, whoa. Easy there, man. Did I misread something here? I’m sorry if I did. But here, take my card, anyway. Hit me up if you change your mind,” the man said as he slid his card to Levi before moving to the dance floor.

            Immediately, he crumpled the little piece of cardstock and left it on the counter. He downed his drink, slammed the money down, and got up to leave. He saw Erwin already on the dance floor dancing like a grandpa so he decided to just leave him a text telling him he already went home. Luckily, it only took a few minutes before he got to hail a cab.

            Throughout the ride, Levi was so confused and angry. Why did he chicken out? He had done this countless times before. Why was it so hard now?

            When he reached his apartment, he quickly shed his clothes and changed into his sleepwear. But before he went to bed, Levi went to the drawer to fish something out. Something that he was puzzled upon seeing it after Eren left to get his things from his old apartment. After rummaging through his clothes, he finally dug out the Eren ragdoll that he never had the courage to throw out. Levi squeezed and glared at it as if it insulted his family and ancestors.

            “What did you do to me, you little shit?”

            Despite that, he took it to bed with him and held it against his chest like a child who can’t sleep without something he felt comfortable with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I've been dumped with long articles needed to be written.
> 
> I just want to say thank you to all those who keep reading this especially those who left comments. There are times when I feel like I'm about to give up (it was the laziness talking) but then I read your comments and they would give me the motivation to continue. So again, thank you, everyone! Oh, and if anybody was curious or just wanted to have a reference, the sexy cat man is Kuroo from Haikyuu!! 
> 
> I'm really excited to write the next chapter. Who wants to see a reunion?!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Erase, erase, I try my best but I cannot forget your face  
>  I'm afraid it's found its place inside my mind."_
> 
> Relapse, Divided by Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay! I've been down with the flu for the past few days so I wasn't able to write.
> 
> The comments from last chapter was... wow. I had to re-write this chapter twice because I was slightly bothered with the way the story was going (based on the comments), but then I decided I'll stick to my original plan. 
> 
> This fic was inspired by my own experience and I admit that I was really stupid before when it came to relationships. I gave everything to the other person to the point where I forgot to love myself. When we broke up, I pined for him even if it was wrong. That went on until I learned to put myself first before others. I've become more matured after that and now I'm happy. We all have different coping mechanisms so please don't rely solely on this one :)

            Levi used the weekend to calm himself down from his minor crisis on Friday night. And by that, he meant cleaning his apartment from top to bottom.

            Erwin left him several texts which he never replied to. He knew Eyebrows would want to know why he ditched them so suddenly and Levi wasn’t ready to share that part to his boss-turned-friend. He was mad at himself for being so attached to Eren even if they weren’t together anymore. He knew it was unhealthy yet he just couldn’t will those feelings away. People must think he was an idiot for being unable to move on from a person was obviously unhealthy for him but they just didn’t understand. Hell, he didn’t understand it himself.

            How would he stop loving a person who turned his life around?

            Levi was well aware of how Eren hindered his personal goals. How the younger male only thought of himself and not Levi’s feelings. How he disrespected his whole being. And yet, Levi couldn’t bring himself to hate him completely. It’s because he knew why Eren acted like it and the reasons behind it. He could relate to some extent; after all, when his own relationships turned to shit before, he resorted to hooking up with guys he met at the bar. It was his way of coping with the heartbreaks and stress and that it in itself was unhealthy just like Eren’s coping mechanism.

            Both of them were far from perfect. In fact, they were both stupid. The only difference was that Levi learned to take a chance on Eren and didn’t regret it. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure if he could say the same for the brunet. The younger male’s emotional state was still like a child at times. While it amused the raven every now and then, sometimes Eren would take it too far to the point that he would become paranoid or insecure. Armin had already mentioned before that the art student had a habit of locking himself in his room when he was having a bad time. Was he doing that right now?

            Levi sighed.

            He was too far gone and too whipped. A sad chuckle escaped from his lips as he thought about how pathetic he was for pining after a guy who was miles away and clearly not interested in getting in touch with him. Levi couldn’t even talk to a guy without seeing Eren’s disappointed face. Groaning loudly, he channeled his frustrations through furiously scrubbing the kitchen countertops.

            The sun was setting when he finished, leaving him hungry and tired. After freshening up, he opened his fridge to look for something to cook. Levi clicked his tongue when all he had were leftovers. He couldn’t remember when the last time he had a proper meal was. Grumbling to himself, he microwaved the food and ate in silence. He debated internally whether to call Hanji, but ultimately decided against it. She was probably hanging out with the squad right now and he didn’t have the energy to talk to the others since his friend would likely pass the phone around again. Talking to them would only drag his feelings down even more.

            He missed the little shits if he were to be honest. They didn’t care whether he was being grumpy or unsociable; they had long accepted his attitude just as he accepted every one of them. Levi didn’t find it hard to tolerate the young bunch because he believed that if he could tolerate Hanji’s boisterousness, he could do it with others. Or maybe it was easy because of Eren? Up until they started to fight, the raven did anything to make him happy, even if that meant hanging out with his friends. Sighing for the umpteenth time that day, Levi finished his dinner and got ready for bed.

            The weekend flew by. His Sunday was spent on shopping for groceries and talking to his mother. He was staying for Thanksgiving in Sina which saddened Kuchel greatly but the raven assured he would be coming home for Christmas. It’s not that he didn’t want to go home, but most of his money was already sent to his mother for their house’s renovation. Despite everything, he was still able to partially fulfill his dream of helping her out. After all, everything that he was doing right now was for her. His mother’s need and comfort would always come first before his.  That’s why listening to her talk about the little changes in their old house had him smiling. Hopefully, by Christmas, he’d be able to some results from his hard work.

            Erwin was already waiting by his desk when he arrived, sipping on his cup of coffee while reading some papers Levi left on his desk. The raven groaned internally as he knew the blond would most likely ask him why he ignored his messages. It sucked that he would be interrogated without even having his caffeine fix first.

            “Ah, Levi. It’s nice to see you’re alive,” Erwin said, smiling warmly at him.

            The shorter male frowned at him as he put away his bag. “Whatever.”

            “We were all worried you know. You left in a hurry and then you aren’t replying to any messages.”

            “What are you now, my mother?” Levi rolled his eyes.

            “I’m just concerned,” Erwin pressed. “If something happened to you, it’ll be on me.”

            “I’m here, alive and kicking, aren’t I? You can go back to your office and stop acting like an overbearing parent,” he grumbled, hoping that his boss would go away. Of course, the tall blond didn’t go away and hovered over him as the raven powered up his computer. He glared at the older male but was only returned with a calm gaze.

            “What happened that night? I remembered you being so confident.”

            “Nothing,” he replied a bit too harshly. That was the truth, anyway. Nothing happened because he chickened out. Just because he got scared of being judged by a guy who was probably not even thinking about him.

            “I know that’s not just nothing. Come on, Levi. I know you’re having a hard time adjusting here in Sina. I want to be your friend and help you fit here comfortably. All I ask is that you talk to me and trust me,” Erwin pleaded and the sincerity of his voice made Levi guilty. While he enjoyed working there, he didn’t have any friends he could really talk to or hang out with. Erwin was the closest of being his friend, yet it was hard to see him as such sometimes because he was his superior. Maybe he was still getting used to the flexible work relationships of ZCG which was very different from his old company.

            The raven looked around and was relieved that there were only a few people out of earshot. He looked up at Erwin and sighed. “Sorry,” Levi began, “I love this place. It’s just that… it’s really different from Maria. Don’t get me wrong, Sina is my dream because of the opportunities but there are just some things from back there that keep holding me back.”

            Erwin raised a bushy brow. “By things you mean people?”

            Why did the guy have to be so perceptive and smart? It pissed Levi as he felt exposed but nodded at the question. The blond hummed in understanding as the raven saw a mischievous glint in the icy blue eyes which had gone all too quickly.

            “Was that the reason why you brushed the guy off?” Erwin asked.

            “You saw that?!” Levi said in disbelief.

            “Well, I kept an eye on you until the guy made a move before dancing,” he explained. The raven dropped his head on the desk. Erwin let him wallow in his embarrassment until Levi lifted his head, revealing a frown.

            “I was wrong to think that I can do it. There’s this guy I was—am still—in love with but we ended on bad terms. I thought I can finally move on from him if I start meeting other people but I remembered the things he said and I realized I don’t want to disappoint him.”

            Erwin had a knowing look on his face. “Ah, so that’s why. I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds. I never meant to rush you in any way.”

            “It’s fine,” Levi said, “you didn’t know it and I didn’t say anything.”

            “If you’re sure…” Erwin trailed. “I better get back to my office then. Thank you for opening up to me, Levi.”

            “Don’t expect that to happen again, you caterpillar eyebrows,” the raven stated, making the other male laugh. It’s scary how Erwin had quickly adapted to Levi’s attitude. While other people would deem him as an asshole, the blond would just take it lightly; he was like a saner version of Hanji.

            As the blond male walked away, Levi couldn’t help but feel lighter when he voiced out his feelings. Maybe he really needed someone to talk to personally. Much as he wanted to tell Hanji and Farlan, he knew Hanji would only push him to meet people or even go as far as setting him up with men and Farlan would beat Eren up. He never wasted any chance to tell Levi how Eren was a stupid, heartless idiot for hurting him and that he’d gladly punch him in the face if he asked. The raven was quick to dismiss that, saying there was no need for violence and telling his friend to stop being so childish. But the truth was, he just didn’t want Eren to get hurt. Erwin was a strange and awkward choice for a new friend but since the guy offered, he would take a chance. After all, the blond giant had been nice to him ever since he started working for him.

            The rest of the day, Levi had been making calls to clients and making reports. One thing that he liked about Erwin’s way of managing was that he constantly challenges his subordinates to be an effective employee. He was strict, but unlike Nile, Erwin knew how to take care of them and treated everyone equally without playing favorites. There were times when their boss would subject them to surprise situational questions and he’d let them present their cases before adding his input. In that way, they were able to learn quickly and apply it to a client’s problem. Even if ZCG was already a top consulting firm, improving and adapting to the changing times were still important. Not only were they aiming for clients, but they were also aiming to develop their employees’ characters.

            Levi was getting ready to leave the office when he and the rest of Erwin’s ward were called into the conference room by the president, Darius Zackly, himself. It puzzled them all except Erwin who looked like he was waiting for it to happen. Levi became paranoid and thought of all the things he’d done in the past week. Had they done something wrong? Did a client complain? To his knowledge, he heard nothing of the sort.

            As they all poured into the large room, Zackly and his right-hand man and director, Dot Pixis, were having a muted conversation which abruptly stopped when they saw everyone. Erwin went over to the both of them and spoke in hush tones before they faced everybody and Zackly addressed them.

            “Good afternoon. I know you’re all excited to leave for the day but we have a big announcement to make that will affect most of you.”

            Whispers filled the room and Levi couldn’t help but be anxious. Were they all being fired? It didn’t help that the three men in front were sporting unreadable expressions on their faces. He felt that whatever this was about, he wouldn’t be happy with it.

            “Don’t worry. Nobody’s getting fired, although, there will be some changes that would need sorting out,” Zackly assured them and the crowd sighed in relief. “We are happy to announce that in six months’ time, ZCG will be opening its second office. It has been on the table for a few months already and the board has finally agreed on it.”

            Levi stayed silent while the others kept whispering. It still didn’t answer why they were all there in the conference room.

            “Without further ado, I am very pleased to announce that ZCG-Maria will be formally opening on May 2019.”

            _What?_

            “And in line of that wonderful news,” Zackly continued while Levi stood dumbstruck, “we are also pleased to announce Erwin Smith’s promotion to associate partner and who is also going to be stationed at the Maria office once it’s finished. Dot, as you all know, hails from Maria and will also be staying there until his retirement. The reason why you are all here is that half of you will stay here under a new manager, while the other half will be relocating to Maria.”

            Claps and murmurs filled the room. There weren’t a lot of Erwin’s subordinates, maybe only twenty or so. That would mean only ten would be transferred to Maria and Levi wasn’t sure how should he react to this news. There’s a fifty percent chance that he wouldn’t be part of the Maria team, but there’s also fifty percent chance that he would be coming with them. Someone from the back asked how they would be divided to which Zackley only smiled and nodded at Erwin.

            “Since I’ll be the one taking the reins at the Maria office, I think it’s only best if I choose the rest of the team that’s coming with me,” the blond declared. “As Darius already said, only half of you will be sent and the list will be deliberated and finalized by the end of the week. I’m also going to get people from other departments because we will need all the help we can get. The Maria office won’t be as big as this but the market reach will not be concentrated on the city alone but to its neighboring towns as well.”

            Erwin was still talking but Levi could only concentrate on the fact that the company will open another office and in Maria no less. The thought of being closer to his friends and his home sounded very appealing, but then again, wasn’t Sina his dream place? Didn’t he say that this place had a lot more opportunities than Maria? Wasn’t that the reason why he left?

            But now, ZCG was expanding. Levi briefly heard the words “untapped potential” and “taking advantage” before he zoned out. He was overthinking again. Just because this would happen didn’t mean that he’d be going back. Maybe Erwin would not pick him and leave him in Sina. After all, he was just a newbie and there were others who had far more experience than him. Yes, that was logical, but when he glanced at the handsome blond in front, he was already staring at him with the same look of mischief as earlier.

            Levi didn’t like that look one bit.

* * *

 

            Whatever bad things he had done in his past life, Levi would like to repent for it if it would mean that his current life would be devoid of a certain Erwin Smith. Or maybe the blond bastard had also been there except things had gone awry and now, he was making Levi pay. Nevertheless, the raven hated his guts at the moment.

            Standing in front of Erwin were the ten “lucky” chosen ones who were relocating to Maria and Levi stood there, glaring at the man while the blond was all smiles. He was briefing them, emphasizing how they needed to be able to deliver once they start working at the new office. They still had a long way to go, but as early as now, they should already prepare for their new venture. Once a month until the Maria office would formally open, someone would accompany Erwin to go on ocular visits. Levi dreaded that the most.

            Once they were dismissed, Levi stayed behind and waited until everyone was out of Erwin’s office before sitting down.

            “What can I do for you today, Levi?” the blond asked warmly.

            “Why am I being transferred to Maria?” he blurted out.

            “Why not? You have great skills and you’re familiar with the territory,” Erwin answered, looking at the raven like he asked if the sky was violet.

            “Shouldn’t you choose those who have been here longer?”

            “Levi, you’ve been working under me for months now and I’ve seen how you improved. I don’t get why you doubt yourself,” Erwin muttered, shaking his head and then stared intently at the raven. “Are you saying you’re rejecting the relocation?”

            “I’m not.”

            “Then, what’s the problem? Why are you acting like this?”

            Levi went silent. Why was he? Shouldn’t he be happy with it? He was going back to the place where everyone was. He didn’t have to be lonely anymore even if that meant Hanji or Farlan barging into his place at any given time. He would be even closer to his mother. And yes, he wouldn’t admit it, but he’d be closer to Eren. Not hearing anything about the brunet had Levi worrying. When Mikasa messaged him, she said Eren refused to talk to anyone except Armin. With the little information she could relay, she mentioned that he took a leave from basketball and chose to focus on his paintings. The older male was dismayed to hear that Eren stopped doing something he loved. He remembered how determined he was when he announced he wanted to try out even with his school works. When Eren loved something, nothing could stop him from getting it.

            Armin was no help either, as he didn’t want to talk to Levi about anything concerning Eren. Apparently, he promised his friend not to say anything at all to any of them. The blond profusely apologized to the raven and the older male couldn’t do anything but back off. He respected Eren’s decision to stay away but asked Armin to at least take care of him.

            But now, an opportunity to be near Eren had appeared. It would be easier to see for himself and that scared him more than it motivated him. Maybe that’s the reason why he’s panicking over his relocation—Levi was scared of facing Eren again. Erwin saw how his eyes widened for a fraction and remedied the situation.

            “You’ll do fine, Levi,” he reassured in his most calming voice. “This will also be beneficial for you. Besides, don’t you want to see how Nile’s going to react when he finds out you and I are going head to head with him?”

            That got Levi’s attention. He could already imagine how Nile would seethe in anger once the news reached him. ZCG would become his nightmare, that’s for sure.

            “Yeah, that would be great,” he replied with an evil glint in his eyes.

            Erwin flashed a small smile. “That’s good, then. You’re going to come with me next month for our first ocular visit. We also need to talk to potential clients. Pixis already contacted some of them, so it won’t be too difficult. Are you up for it?”

            Without any hesitations, Levi answered, “Yes.”

            “Great. We’ll be leaving after Thanksgiving,” Erwin proclaimed. “Other details will be emailed to you by Nifa. She’ll be coming with us and she’s also the one in charge of our accommodations.”

            “Alright.”

            Erwin shot him a grateful look. “Thank you, Levi.”

            Even without expressing it, Levi knew that the other man already understood his silent gratitude. He walked away from his boss’s office, thinking about how he would break the news to his mother and his friends. They would be all happy, no doubt, but what about Eren? How would he take it?

            Levi reminded himself to take one step at a time. Eren wasn’t ready to face anyone, let alone him. The raven would overcome that obstacle when the time would come. It was highly unlikely that Eren would be happy to see him, but a small part of him wished that the younger male was waiting for him.

            A ridiculous thought but Levi chose to hold on to that sliver of hope. 

* * *

 

            Spending Thanksgiving alone was probably the most stupid decision Levi had ever made. Not only was he envious of the families celebrating together, but he was also pissed that the meals he prepared were bland. He had long since accepted that he wasn’t made for cooking but since he was alone and wanted a change, he tried his hand at it. Unfortunately, his plan backfired and he was left with bland mashed potatoes and very dry turkey.

            The next day, Levi decided to call Hanji to update her about his upcoming arrival in Maria. He dialed his friend’s number and waited for her to pick up.

            _“LEVI, MY MUNCHKIN! HOW ARE YOU? ARE YOU WILLING TO DONATE YOUR THIGHS FOR SCIENCE?”_ The brunette bellowed. She sounded like she was sitting right next to Levi rather than on the other side of the line.

            “What the hell are you smoking, shitty glasses? And why are you interested in my thighs?!”

            _“Have you seen your thighs? They’re like… wow. You can strangle anyone with them. Also, you don’t call me this early! That only means you have something big to tell me, I can feel it in my bones. What does our friendship mean if we don’t share the same vibe?”_

“You’re so fucking weird, you know that? I wonder why I’m friends with you.”

            _“Silly munchkin. You’d be lost without me!”_

That’s true, though she didn’t need to hear that. “Anyway, I’m coming to Maria next weekend.”

            There was silence from Hanji’s end and Levi was about to check if their line got disconnected when his speaker suddenly blasted from the sheer loudness of her voice.

            _“YOU ARE?! THAT’S GREAT! I’M GOING TO CALL MARCO AND RESERVE THE BISTRO FOR SATURDAY! OH MY GOSH, LEVI, WE ALL MISS YOU!”_

That’s it. He’d never call Hanji again; he was going to stick to texting or emailing the shitty four-eyes. “Calm your non-existent tits,” he hissed, “I’m coming for work, not for vacation. Who the hell is Marco, anyway?”

            _“Excuse you! These titties are healthy and jiggly!”_ Levi’s nose scrunched at the visual as the brunette cackled. _“Marco’s the son of the bistro’s owner and our sorta new friend. Please, Levi? Promise me you’ll come see us.”_

Hanji’s voice lowered into a sad tone at the end of her sentence, making his heart wrench with guilt. He didn’t mean to sound like he didn’t want to see them. In fact, he was itching to be with his friends even if it was just one day. When Erwin’s secretary emailed him their schedule, he learned that his Saturday night would be free and thought it would be a great time to get together with them.

            “Don’t sound so miserable, that’s so uncharacteristic of you,” he scolded her, trying to lighten up the mood. “I’m going, okay? Are you happy?”

            The squeal at the other end assured him that his friend was back to her jovial self. _“Yes! Yes! Thank you, munchkin! I’m so excited! Can I tell the others?!”_

            “No. I want to surprise them.”

            _“Aww, you’re so sweet! Alright, I’m going to update you about the plans, okay? You better bring me something from Sina, mister!”_

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll update you, too. Bye, Hanji.”

            _“Bye, munchkin! Love you!”_

            Levi felt like he lost several years of his life after talking to his very rambunctious friend. He was tired but at least he had something to look forward to when he comes back to Maria. The raven became excited and started writing down what he needed to bring for them. First, he wrote down their names and then listed down their favorite things. It surprised him how easily he was able to fill it up; he didn’t realize he knew so much about them.

            However, there was one name he hadn’t written anything beside it—Eren’s.

            The raven wasn’t sure what to give him. Would he want anything coming from him at all? Would he even show up? Levi shook his head. Of course, he wouldn’t. No one could make him go to their weekly dinners so there’s no point in expecting him to suddenly appear. In the end, Levi didn’t bother to buy something for Eren while he bought some trinkets and knickknacks for the others. That was already enough; there was no point in wasting money for something which would ultimately end up in the bin.

            Days before their Maria visit, Erwin had been constantly giving him instructions and discussing their objectives once they meet their clients. Looking at their prospects, he was surprised to see quite a few familiar names from his old company. Nifa had already arranged their accommodations so the only thing that they needed to do was travel to Maria.

            The three of them used Erwin’s car with the blond as the driver while Levi was on the passenger seat and Nifa on the back. Just thinking about the twelve-hour drive had him groaning even if he wasn’t the one behind the wheel. Erwin refused to get a driver so he graciously assumed the duties. Hopefully, the local airport in Sina that was currently being built would be finished already so going to Maria would be shorter; Maria didn’t have its own airport but there’s one just only an hour and a half away.

            They left Sina just past midnight on Thursday and Levi soon conked out while they were on the road. They stopped for bathroom breaks and breakfast but they didn’t linger long; the faster they get to Maria, the better. Snow lightly fell as they neared the city and the raven was eager to see it once again. He wondered if there had been any improvements and changes or if it was still the same since then. When they arrived at the city proper, they went into the richer part of it where the expensive hotels were. Levi felt strange to be in that place. After all, he used to live in a student-friendly neighborhood and not in a posh one. Once checked in, they went into their separate rooms. The raven had never experienced this when he was still a student or when he worked in Maria so this was refreshing for him.

            The rest of Thursday and Friday had been hectic due to their ocular inspection of the office and talking to potential clients. It was the first time Levi had worked personally together with Pixis and he was stunned by the man’s alcohol intake. He heard rumors but it was the first time he’d actually seen him chug down his drink even in the middle of the day. Apparently, he was the only to react that way since Erwin, Nifa, and the client knew him well by then.

            Levi had never been more grateful when their last client meeting finished on Saturday afternoon. The last three days had been very productive but it left him worn-out and needing some relaxation. Hanji had already texted him that they were already at the bistro so he got ready to meet them. As he closed his hotel room with his bag of souvenirs in hand, the door next to his opened and out came Erwin donning casual clothes.

            “You’re going out, Levi?” the blond asked.

            “I should ask the same thing to you,” the raven noticed. “I’m going to dinner with some friends in Trost.”

            “Oh, I’ll drive you, then.”

            “What? No. Where are you going anyway?”

            “It’s fine,” Erwin waved him off. “I’m meeting Mike in Orvud anyway so it’s not going out of my way.”

            “But—”

            “Shut up and just accept it, Levi.”

            Levi surrendered and let the man have his way. The ride to Trost was silent with the classical music on the radio the only sound to fill it. He already texted Hanji that he was on his way and the response he got was random letters and lots of exclamation points. Typical four-eyes.

            Unconsciously, he began tapping his fingers on his jean-covered thighs which didn’t go unnoticed by Erwin.

            “For someone who’s going to see their friends, you don’t look so happy,” Erwin pointed out. The shorter male stopped but kept mum. “Does it have to do with the boy you told me about?”

            The frown on his face already answered the blond man’s question. Even if Levi knew there was no chance that Eren would be there, he couldn’t stop himself from hoping even just a little. Now that he’s back in Maria, he wanted to see Eren again. He just wanted to know how he was. Because he was wrapped in his own thoughts, he didn’t realize they were in Trost until Erwin informed him. He directed him to the bistro and even from afar, Levi could already see Hanji standing outside the place.

            The brunette was absorbed with her phone and didn’t notice the car stopping in front of her. Levi went out and immediately got her attention by flicking her nose.

            “Oi, shitty glasses.”

            Hanji’s eyes and smile widened as she squealed loud enough for the whole town to hear. She didn’t waste any more time and hugged Levi until he was lifted off the ground.

            “YOU’RE HERE! YOU’RE HERE! I MISSED YOU SO, SO MUCH!” she shrieked, holding him tighter.

            “Let go of me, you fuckface!”

            “Levi, you forgot your bag,” Erwin suddenly interrupted, breaking Hanji’s hugfest. The woman quickly let go of him and moved her attention to the new guy. She looked like a mad scientist inspecting a specimen with the way she adjusted her glasses and invading his personal space. The tall male could only smile at her.

            “Who is this fine man, Levi?” Hanji inquired, waggling her eyebrows.

            Levi rolled his eyes. “Erwin, this weirdo is Hanji Zoe. Hanji, this is Erwin Smith, my _boss_ ,” he emphasized with a glare.

            “OH! So _you_ are caterpillar brows! I’m Hanji, Levi’s best friend. Nice to meet ya!” The brunette extended her hand.

            Erwin firmly shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said politely.

            “Hey, the squad’s already upstairs. Come on, let’s go,” Hanji tugged Levi’s hand. “You too, Erwin!”

            “No, shitty glasses. Erwin has somewhere to be. He only dropped me here,” the raven explained.

            “Nonsense! You’re staying, right?” The woman asked the taller male, trapping his wrist with her hand. Levi tried to wrench her hand away but she had a vice-like grip on both of them.

            “It’s okay. I can spare a few hours. Orvud’s just a half hour away anyway and Mike still has things to do,” Erwin replied, giving a warm smile. “It would be nice to meet your friends since I’m the only one you’re closest to in Sina.”

            “That’s great! You never make friends, Levi, so this is a first! I’m so proud of you, munchkin. You’ve grown up metaphorically,” she said, resulting to a pinch on her side by the raven.

            Levi’s worst nightmare had come true. He thought Hanji and Erwin wouldn’t ever meet in this lifetime. The raven was now convinced that he had done something bad to the both of them in his past life. Seeing them talk to each other like they had been friends for quite a while unnerved him. How could they feel comfortable with each other so easily? He followed both of them as they walked up to the second floor where Levi could hear the others laughing and talking.

            The group briefly quieted down when they saw the newcomers before they exploded with welcoming shouts. Sasha and Connie hounded Levi immediately and even more so when the older male got them sweets that could only be found in Sina. Sasha actually cried and snatched the bag from Connie, claiming it for himself. Armin gave him a short hug which he also returned and Mikasa raised a hand for an awkward high-five. Farlan enveloped him in a tight hug much like what Hanji did to him and Moblit, who sat beside an unknown freckled guy, waved from his seat.

            “Guys, this is Erwin Smith, Levi’s boss and new friend. A legit friend, okay? This man is officially off the market,” Hanji introduced and everyone welcomed the big blond with open arms. “Freckled Jesus beside Moblit is Marco Bodt, the bistro owner’s son. He’s the reason why I was able to reserve the place for us!”

            “Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot of interesting stories from Hanji,” Marco said with an angelic voice.

            “Shitty glasses better told you good ones,” Levi muttered, shooting a glare at the bespectacled woman.

            “Aw, don’t be like that! I only told him how great you are as a friend!” Hanji pouted.

            They all settled down at the table with Levi sitting down between Farlan and Erwin. Farlan engaged him in conversation while Erwin and Hanji continued being friendly. Being absorbed in the conversation, Levi failed to hear Jean coming up the stairs until the two-tone-haired boy was just a few feet away.

            “Sorry, I’m late! Practice ran late but I have a surprise for everyone,” Jean announced, looking excited and fidgety when his eyes met Levi’s. “Where’s that bastard? Oi, come on up!”

            Everyone looked at the direction of the stairs to see who the boy referred to. A moment later, a slouching male with long, chestnut brown hair slowly made his way to them. Everybody gasped in unison when he lifted his head to look at them, his once vibrant teal eyes had become blank and lifeless.

            _Eren_.

            Levi froze in his seat as he took sight of his old lover. Eren had drastically changed from the last time he saw him. His short hair became longer but still unkempt and he grew a stubble; he also obviously lost weight and muscles due to his leave from basketball; and lastly, he looked like a person who didn’t care anymore about life. The brunet’s energy from before was non-existent. But when Levi and Eren’s eyes met, something came alive in the brilliant teal eyes.

            “Levi,” Eren breathed out so softly, almost inaudible for the others but for Levi, it was as loud as his beating heart.

            At that moment, time stopped for them. Levi wanted to run to him and hold him in his arms. He hated seeing Eren like that. He wanted to see him happy and all smiles just like before. At that moment, he allowed himself to forget all the hurtful words they traded and remembered those times when Eren was genuinely happy and oozing love and affection. It was so much different from what the raven was seeing right now.

            His little moment with Eren dissolved when Mikasa shot up from his seat and threw her arms around the brunet. Levi didn’t know what pained him the most: Eren not returning the gesture or how Mikasa was able to hold him.

            “I’m so glad you came,” the girl said, clinging to the brunet.

            “All thanks to me!” Jean interjected.

            “Whatever, Horseface,” Eren spoke up, surprising Levi with how deep his voice became.

            Mikasa unlatched herself from Eren and led him to the table where he sat beside Armin. Levi caught his eye again but he saw how they traveled from the raven to Erwin and back to him again. Eren still sported an indifferent look, making Levi nervous and slightly annoyed.

            “We’re finally complete. I’m so happy I could cry,” Hanji commented, wiping fake tears on her eyes.

            When dinner started, everyone was in high spirits. The conversation went around, making sure that no one was left behind except for Eren who chose to be silent while shooting glances at Levi.

            “How’s working in Sina like, Levi?” Sasha asked. “Is it really competitive out there?”

            “Yeah, it’s nice. I still have a lot to learn, though. It’s hard to keep up with people who have more experience than me,” Levi explained.

            Erwin snorted. “Don’t be so humble. You’re one of the best right now in my team,” his boss declared, squeezing Levi’s shoulder.

            The shorter male glanced at Eren whose gaze was locked into the hand on his shoulder. The brunet’s eyebrow twitched subtly which Levi caught. His gaze didn’t leave until Erwin retreated his hand and the younger male went back to his food.

            “So why are you here, man?” It was Connie’s turn to ask. “You have a conference here or something?”

            “Uh, not really. I’m here because we’re opening our Maria branch in May. We’ve been meeting with some potential clients so it wouldn’t be difficult when it opens and we’re also overseeing the office construction,” Levi explained.

            “That’s so great! So you’re gonna work here?!” Hanji piped up.

            “Yes, shitty glasses.”

            “I thought you didn’t want to work here?”

            Everyone turned their heads to Eren who spoke up, effectively silencing them. The brunet was looking down at his gnocchi which he was murdering with his fork. “Isn’t that the reason why you left? You hate here and yet, here you are. With your new boyfriend apparently,” he continued, spewing the last words with loathing.

            “Eren…” Armin tugged on his friend’s sleeve but he ignored it.

            Eren stood abruptly and extended a hand in front of Erwin’s face. “It’s not really nice to meet you, man.”

            “Eren,” Armin hissed, trying to pull the brunet back in his seat, “you’re being childish.”

            Unfortunately for the blond, Eren continued on his rampage. “Was it so easy to replace me, Levi?” he accused, finally looking at Levi with fire in his eyes. “I waited for you. I’m still waiting for you. But… fuck! I never thought you’d already find someone else! What does he have that I don’t, huh, Levi? Money? A bigger dick? Tell me!”

            “That’s enough, Eren!” Levi also stood up. His mind became jumbled at the onslaught of Eren’s wrath. He wanted to tell him he got it all wrong. He wanted to tell him he was also waiting, but when he saw how angry Eren was, he couldn’t do anything else but stop him.

            “No, Levi! You don’t understand!” The brunet shouted. “What, did you think I can just forget you like that? You mean the whole world to me. I thought I was the same for you but I guess I was fucking wrong, wasn’t I? You just can’t keep your hands to yourself.”

            “Erwin is his boss, Eren!” Farlan joined the shouting match and glared at the brunet.

            “Oh, so now you’re sleeping your way to the top? Real classy.” The brunet scoffed.

            Levi was hurt and speechless because this was their fight months ago all over again. He was so stupid to think that Eren had changed his view of him. That he knew how he wasn’t that kind of guy anymore, but apparently, he still thought of him that way and that pained him so much. The anguish he felt must have shown in his face because Eren’s eyes widened at the realization of what he said. But before he could say or do something, Jean started dragging him away and out of the bistro.

            The raven slumped back down in his seat and buried his face in his hands. The night wasn’t supposed to go like this. They were supposed to celebrate, not scream at each other. Their dinner was cut short and some of them left. Mikasa came over to him and was concerned with how things had gone. She said she would drop by Eren’s apartment and give him a piece of her mind. Levi was grateful for it and they promised they’d keep in touch more often when the male would go back to Sina.

            Farlan, on the other hand, was really pissed at Eren for his rudeness and childishness. It’s not so often that they saw this side of him as they all knew him as a calm and wise guy.

            But Levi was most concerned with how Erwin took it all. He was embarrassed that his boss became involved in this incident. He knew he should have trusted his instincts when Hanji invited Erwin for dinner. The raven glanced at Erwin who had a calculating look on his face as if he was assessing the situation.

            “I’m really sorry you have to witness all of that,” Levi apologized quietly.

            “I finally understand why you’re like that in Sina,” Erwin declared. “And it’s fine. His emotions only got the best of him.”

            “But you haven’t defended yourself.”

            “Levi, it’s really alright,” the blond assured. “I’ve had my fair share of them and I’m used to it. I’m just glad this didn’t end up in fist fights or violence.”

            The shorter male nodded and sulked in his seat. Erwin left minutes later while still assuring Levi that he wasn’t affected by the incident. He was staying at his fiancé’s house for the night and would return early in the morning at the hotel to pick him and Nifa up. Hanji and Farlan were the last persons who stayed with him while he composed himself until he was able to think more clearly.

            Levi was so, so tired of putting up with Eren’s shit. He wasn’t even angry at him, just tired of how Eren was acting. If this wasn’t a sign that he needed to let go of the brunet completely, he didn’t know what else would convince him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't intend to make Eren a bad character but I have to :c You should all understand that there are people like him in the real world. But don't fret, because next chapter will be in Eren's POV! You'll get to read his side and then the judgment is yours to make.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I remember when my heart broke  
>  I remember when I gave up loving you  
> My heart couldn't take no more of you  
> I was sad and lonely."_
> 
> \- I Remember, Keyshia Cole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's a short update which I wrote in between articles (tbh I'm still not finished and I wanted to write this one so badly). As promised, this chapter is from Eren's POV and the next will be his, too.

            There weren’t a lot of things that Eren regretted doing in his life. He never regretted fighting those who bullied him and Armin when they were younger even if they resulted in black eyes and bruises. He never regretted standing up for himself all those times even if he had to endure an earful from his mother. The point was, Eren never regretted anything he’d done in the past even if he was a stubborn little shit. But as he stood in front of a fuming Jean Kirstein, he started to think that maybe it was one of those rare times.

            “What the fuck was that back there? Are you out of your mind?!” Jean shouted as he pushed Eren against a brick wall. After the brunet’s outburst at the bistro, his teammate dragged him outside and into an empty alley.

            “I know you’re stupid,” the other male continued, “but I never thought you were _this_ stupid!”

            “Fuck off,” Eren grumbled, attempting to get away from Jean’s hold on him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to.

            “You don’t get to fuck off me, you shit. What you did back there was too low, even for you.”

            “Shut up!” the brunet growled. “What do you even know? You don’t have any business what I do so back the fuck off!”

            Jean grabbed his collar and yanked him. “I swear to God I’m going to punch the living shit out of you if you don’t fucking shut up!”

            They were both breathing down on each other’s necks. Amber eyes clashing with emerald ones and neither of them wanted to back down. It had been always like that for Jean and Eren. Inside the court, they worked in sync without even needing to talk, but outside, they always butted heads and argued most of the time. However, despite having a hot and cold friendship, they looked out for each other except Eren had been pushing everyone away as of late.

            Truth was, Eren was ashamed of himself and it wasn’t just for his actions earlier. Yes, he was mad when Levi left. Why wouldn’t he when the older male hid the fact that he was going away; the worst part of it was that he had to find out from someone else. He thought his anger was justified at that time. When Mikasa called him that Levi was leaving, he threw away his phone and locked himself in his apartment. As much as he wanted to see the raven, his anger was still fresh.

            It was maybe a week or so when he started feeling guilty. Eren had enough time to cool down considerably but still chose to isolate himself. He refused to speak to anyone but Armin since he knew he was the only one among his friends who would listen first then judge him. The blond slept over at his apartment and there Eren would bare his thoughts. Armin listened intently until he finished talking and spoke his own thoughts. He understood where Eren was coming from but he scolded him for being too harsh on Levi and how selfish he was. By the end of it, the brunet felt like a little child. But that got him into thinking and he realized he was really an asshole and it led him to feel guilty for everything he had said to the older male.

            Eren wanted to apologize to him but he was scared and ashamed. How could he talk to him after everything he had said? He started to blame himself until it was ingrained in his mind that it was all his fault that Levi left. Every day, it plagued him and he became even more embarrassed to talk to his and Levi’s friends. Whenever he saw them on campus, he’d deliberately avoid them or if one cornered him, he’d shake them off.

            Summer came and went. Eren at least had a breather except when he saw Mikasa. She tried to talk to him but he stayed silent. The brunet she would never get mad at him but she was still Levi’s cousin even if they didn’t seem to be close. His parents, on the other hand, remained mum when they learned about their falling out. Isabel was devastated then cried and yelled at Eren for being such a loser. In the short amount of time they had spent together, Izzy had been greatly attached to the raven as much as Eren did. That didn’t help with his guilt.

            Nothing had changed when they went back to university. He still stayed away from everyone and the brunet decided to take a break from basketball. His coach wasn’t too happy with that and Jean got pissed but he quickly left before his friend could confront him. He didn’t have the energy or the motivation to play unlike before. Eren was just going with the flow.

            It was unbelievable how much Levi affected him. Never had Eren found someone he really loved to be with despite being polar opposites. Levi was unlike any other lover he had. It suddenly got the brunet into wondering if the raven had found someone new in Sina. There was a possibility and it hurt him to think of it. He knew he had fucked whatever they both had and that they were now free to be with whoever they want. But didn’t Levi tell him over and over how much he loved him even if Eren refused to listen? Could it still be true? The younger male knew of the raven’s past but it couldn’t hurt to hope that Levi still held on to those feelings.  

            And so Eren waited. He’d tell himself every day that the day would come when he would meet Levi again and he’d beg for his forgiveness. He would often tell himself that Levi would come home to him. That Levi had not replaced him. It kept him going with his life despite not talking to the others. Armin wanted him to come to their Saturday dinners but he always refused. Not only because he was embarrassed but also because it would only remind him that Levi wasn’t there. However, on the rare time that he watched basketball practice while he was on leave, Jean managed to make him agree on coming.

            Eren didn’t know how to face his friends. When Levi left, he had been nothing but an empty shell, so seeing his former lover again had him quite surprised. It felt so wonderful to say the raven’s name once again. It had been so long and the brunet wanted to keep calling that name over and over. However, Mikasa broke their moment as she launched herself into him. As he was forced to sit down between Mikasa and Armin, Eren didn’t notice the blond man beside Levi until he began talking.

            Something snapped in him when he saw how Levi and the man seemed so close. He stayed silent while he scrutinized him. The man was handsome, built like a Greek god, looked respectable, and had annoying thick eyebrows. The only thing Eren could think of was that this man was Levi’s new boyfriend and it angered him so much to the point that he started listening to the conversation selectively. In one instance that he glanced at the raven, the blond man’s hand was on his shoulder like he was declaring him his property. It took every ounce of Eren’s self-restraint not to reach over the table and grab the man’s collar.

            But everything completely broke when he found out Levi’s returning to Maria. After all the times they fought about him leaving, he was coming back with his new man. Accusations started spouting out of his mouth that led to a shouting match and the next thing he knew, he was being hauled away by Jean.

            “You don’t know what I’m feeling,” Eren hissed. “Why do you even care anyway?”

            Jean tightened his grip. “I know you’re hurting but you don’t have any right to say those things to Levi. Especially not in front of his boss, damn it. Look, I know we don’t get along most of the time but you’re already like a brother to me. And it pisses me off that you’re throwing your life away.”

            “Then don’t bother! Let me be this way!”

            “I won’t, you motherfucker! Don’t just think about yourself! Think about how you’re also hurting everyone. It’s not easy for us to see you like this,” Jean said, releasing his grip on the brunet. Eren immediately leaned against the wall and trained his eyes on the ground. His friend was pacing back and forth in front of him while gathering his thoughts.

            “We know how much you love Levi but this—” Jean gestured to the slumping form of Eren—“is too much. You’re bringing everyone down with you. But even if you’re like that, we’re here to help you. We’re not giving up on you.”

            On any normal day, Eren would’ve probably make fun with his teammate’s kindness to him but tonight, it was different. Jean was right; his selfishness had affected his connection with the others. He was far too drowning in his misery that he forgot that the world didn’t revolve around him. That there were still others that care for him and wouldn’t want him to go down on a dark path. The only thing that kept him from reaching out was himself because of his pride and stubbornness.

            The brunet slid down on the dirty pavement while Jean stood with a concerning look. Eren began to sob quietly and his friend sat next to him, sighing as he let him cry his heart out. They didn’t know how long they were there, but just being away from a lot of people comforted Eren, even with the presence of Jean.

            “I’m an asshole,” the art student said after a while.

            Jean snorted. “Tell me something I don’t know. Are you okay now?”

            “Yeah,” he said softly.

            The two-tone-haired boy got up on his feet and extended a hand towards the brunet. A puzzled look must have come across his face because Jean clicked his tongue in annoyance.

            “Don’t just sit there, you prick. Get up and I’ll drive you home. Mikasa will kill me if I leave you here.”

            Accepting the offer, they headed to Jean’s car which was parked across the bistro. Looking at it, it was already dark so everybody must have gone home. He hated himself for ruining what was supposed to be a good night. He should have just shut up throughout the whole dinner and this wouldn’t happen. But he was Eren Jaeger, destroyer of everyone’s happiness.

            “Thanks,” Eren muttered when they stopped in front of his apartment.

            “I mean what I said earlier. Just sleep on it, will you?” Jean asked.

            The brunet nodded and watched as his friend drove away. Somehow, his head cleared a little and he was able to mull things over while he returned to his apartment. Eren was tired emotionally, mentally, and physically; the events from earlier had taken a toll on him. In the last few moments before he dozed off, there was one thing that stayed on his mind and that was he was going to make things right.

 

* * *

 

            Eren nervously stood outside Farlan’s apartment.

            After Jean’s meaningful talk, he decided he should apologize to everyone for his behavior. He would’ve gone to Levi first but according to Armin, he already left for Sina. The art student, then, thought of apologizing to someone close to the raven. So in the afternoon, the next day, he made up his mind to go to Farlan. He cautiously knocked on the architecture student’s door and waited for him to open it.

            A tired-looking Farlan soon came into view whose eyes widened slightly before narrowing his gaze to the sheepish Eren.

            “Why are you here?” the blond demanded.

            “I—” Eren cleared his throat—“I came to apologize.”

            Farlan looked at him suspiciously but flung the door wide open. “Come inside, then.”

            It was the first time Eren went over to his apartment, not even once when he and Levi were still dating. They weren’t also as close as he was with Hanji. Ever since the first time they met, Eren had always been wary of Farlan. He was touchy with Levi and it made him jealous. The two of them being fuck buddies at some point didn’t help that.

            Eren shook his head. Now wasn’t the right time to think about it. He was in Farlan’s apartment to patch things up and not have a repeat of a battle of testosterone. The older male led him to the couch and started heating up some tea. Nostalgia hit the brunet as he remembered how Levi loved his teas. Because of the raven, he had also come to love it.

            Farlan picked up one stool from the kitchen and set it across Eren. When the tea was done, he gave one cup to the younger male and sat down. His cool grey eyes were concentrated on him and Eren felt like he was in an interrogation.

            “I’m sorry for what I did at the bistro. It was wrong,” Eren started, staring at the floor.

            “No shit,” Farlan commented.

            “I just… It’s just that it surprised me seeing Levi again. It’s been so long and I couldn’t think straight.”

            The brunet heard the older male sigh. “Look, I get that your emotions were haywire and you don’t probably mean what you said. I just hate it when you start pointing fingers at Levi when he’s done nothing wrong.”

            “I’m sorry,” Eren apologized once more. He had never felt more stupid in his life.

            “Levi had told me a bit of your past. It sucks that they were shit but that doesn’t make it an excuse to say that Levi would’ve done that to you. I know Levi and I didn’t have a normal start as friends, but through the years, I wished he’d find somebody to make him happy. And he did when he met you,” the architecture student enlightened.

            _Too bad I fucked that up_ , Eren thought bitterly.

            “All I’m saying is that he really loved you to the point that he set aside his dreams first so he could be with you. You need to understand that Levi didn’t have much when he grew up so he wanted to make things easier for his mom. But you came along and he willingly put you first before his needs. He’s serious about you and it really hurt him when you didn’t trust him.”

            Eren’s voice broke a little as he answered, “I know and if I could, I would’ve done it differently. I’m so embarrassed for what I’ve done and that’s why I pushed everyone away. I hate myself for saying those things to Levi. I just miss him so much.”

            The older male got up from his seat and knelt in front of Eren. Farlan patted his head which was still hanging down low. “I’m still not happy with what you did,” he cleared, “but I don’t want to see you like this. We’re all hoping to see the old Eren back.”

            “Do you think Levi would ever forgive me?” the brunet asked quietly.

            “I’ll be forward with you,” Farlan said sternly. “While Levi might forgive you, I don’t think it’s a good idea to push things romantically again. Not now, anyway. You two need some time apart. With the way things ended, I guess you should focus on yourselves more. ”

            Eren took a sip of his drink and let it warm his hands. Things had been falling apart for him the past few months and maybe for Levi, too. The older male went on to tell him about how Levi had been battling his loneliness while he was in Sina. Erwin had been the only one who managed to be friends with him and that was only because he was really persistent according to the raven. Farlan also pointedly noted that Erwin was engaged to another man, making Eren squirm in shame because of his allegations.

            “Sorry,” the brunet mumbled.

            “You need to pick yourself back up, Eren. We’re all here to support you, do you understand that?”

            Eren instinctively nodded. “I want to apologize to Levi. Do you know when he’s coming back?”

            “Not sure, but I’ll let you know,” Farlan said.

            The architecture student let him stay until he finished his tea in silence. Eren remembered how he’d been jealous of Farlan because Levi had always complimented him for being such an ‘understanding asshole’. Now that he experienced having a heart-to-heart with him, the brunet realized how easy it was to talk to Farlan and really was the voice of reason among the raven’s friends.

            It was dark outside already when Eren left Farlan’s apartment. He tightened the scarf around his neck as it began snowing again. As he passed the shops and boutiques, he quickly noticed that store owners were starting to decorate their stalls for Christmas. Other places had already put up their own and the red, green, and gold Christmas colors danced on the sidewalk. Children with their families would often stop by in front of a shop to admire the holiday adornments, smiling and squealing at every stuff they look at.

            Christmas was coming and that meant Levi’s birthday, too. Eren wasn’t excited or happy like he was normally when this time of the year would come. His thoughts drifted back to Levi and started to feel miserable again. He really did hurt the older male and he wanted nothing more than to beg for forgiveness. Eren looked over to the innocent children who were genuinely joyful at what they were seeing and doing. The brunet thought that Levi should be like them. The raven deserved to be happy at what he’s doing. He shouldn’t be dragged down by the likes of Eren who did nothing but stop him from reaching his potential and be kept like a caged bird.

            Suddenly, things began to fall into place. This Christmas, they might not be together anymore but Eren wanted to do something for Levi that he knew the raven needed.

 

 

 

 

            It’s time to let Levi go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really like Jean and Farlan, just so you know.
> 
> [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"This is it, this is all I have to say_  
>  I used to stay awake and wonder praying for the day when you would notice me  
> But now I'm slowly noticing that while you were my world you weren't the one  
> And now my searching days are done."
> 
>  
> 
> \- Face to Face, Divided by Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to the whole song because I think it really suits the chapter. 
> 
> Belated happy birthday, Levi! And happy holidays, everyone!

            Before Christmas break, Eren made sure to apologize to everyone who witnessed his outburst. He was particularly afraid of how Hanji would react since Armin had told that one time he saw her unleash her fury over some other students who messed her lab reports. Thinking that she would probably cut his head off, he burst into tears when she approached him. But the anger never came, instead, he was enveloped into a bear hug by the woman.

            “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” he chanted, burying his face on her shoulder.

            Hanji rubbed his back to soothe him. “Don’t cry, Eren. I’m not mad.”

            “I thought you hated me,” Eren mumbled.

            “Aww, honey!” She grabbed his face and wiped his tears with her thumbs. “I could never hate you! Even if Levi’s my best friend in the whole wide world, I’ll never see you as a bad person. You’re just buried in your emotions.”

            Hanji let him dry out his tears before she let go of him. When he was reduced to small hiccups, the medicine student smiled at him and lightly pinched his cheeks. “I know you’ve already learned your lesson when I learned you went to Farlan. That guy’s really something. My only advice is that the next time you feel like the world’s crashing around you, you need to tell someone. I’m not a psychiatrist, but being friends with an antisocial and an intuitive, you learn things along the way.”

            The male kept nodding at what she said and genuinely took her words to heart. Everyone being understanding made him even guiltier for what he had done, but he was going to start over again. This time, he wouldn’t be selfish. Not when there were people who kept believing in him even when they saw the monster in him.

            Mikasa was the last person he talked to. He wasn’t afraid of her, but he felt bad for letting her down. She was his childhood friend aside from Armin. She was the one who would face the bullies when he and Armin were on the losing end. Something about Mikasa always made other kids scram away. She wasn’t the hot-headed type like Eren; in fact, she was a silent operator. Even if it annoyed Eren whenever she acted like a mother hen, he still loved Mikasa like a sister.

            He went to Mikasa’s dorm with a Belgian chocolate cake in hand. It was her favorite and he thought it would be a nice peace offering. When the engineering student peeked outside her door, her eyes widened but didn’t let him pass. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Eren smiled tentatively at her.

            “Chocolate cake for Miss Ackerman?” he asked, showing the box to his friend.

            Mikasa smiled, a rarity for her and which was only reserved for her closest friends and family. “Come in,” she welcomed him and Eren went in.

            Her dorm room was quiet since her roommate, Annie, was out. Eren took a seat while Mikasa sliced the cake to share with the brunet. She’s not the kind of person to initiate the conversation so Eren had to break the silence at some point.

            “Are you mad at me, Mika?” he asked.

            “No. Never,” she replied hastily. He should’ve known her answer already. Even back then, Mikasa didn’t get angry at him for shunning her away.

            “Thanks, Mika. But I’m really sorry for pushing you away and also for… you know… hurting your cousin.”

            “Eren, I already know you like the back of my hand. I know it wasn’t your intention to hurt people. Maybe you can use this time to reflect and lose the attitude. It’s not just for us, but for you, too.”

            Mikasa could be overbearing, but in times like this, Eren appreciated her concern. She had been nothing but loyal to him and Armin.

            “Are you okay now?” she asked.

            “Yeah, thanks.” Eren offered her a small smile which she returned with her own. They spent the whole day watching movies while finishing the cake he brought. It wasn’t until Annie arrived that the brunet decided to go back to his apartment. While he was already used to Mikasa’s indifference, Annie was a different topic altogether. The sports science major always had a bored expression on her face, but when she would look at Eren, he couldn’t help but feel like he was being judged. When he tried to speak to her one time, she only raised a brow at him and left him hanging. Mikasa once shared that Annie was really funny, but Eren couldn’t just see that happening.

            It felt good to be on good terms with his friends again. When he, Armin, and Mikasa went home for the holidays, the car was filled with laughter and stories. The distraction was welcomed by Eren and he was grateful for it. When he arrived at his house, his family was already waiting for him with open arms. Isabel had been bummed out when she first found out he and Levi broke up. She formed an attachment with the older male even if they spent a limited time with each other. At first, she got mad at Eren, but she accepted it eventually. They never knew the real reason why they broke up but they didn’t push to tell him. He wasn’t ready to tell them for fear that they’d get angry at him, especially his mother.

            Eren used the Christmas break as his way to recoup and reflect. He needed the downtime to organize his thoughts and feelings. He was definitely going to need it when he would go back to Maria.

 

* * *

 

 

 _‘Levi’s coming home. He’s going to stay for a week this time’_ was Farlan’s text to Eren on one January Sunday night before he went to sleep.

            It was his chance to hopefully smoothen things out with the raven and he was more than ready for it. He had already made up his mind to finally let Levi go even if it hurt him. It’s for the best— for Levi and also for him. He didn’t want to cage the older man any longer. He’s going to give him the freedom that he sought for so long. So he and Farlan connived to make the meeting of the former lovers happen. The architecture student would update Eren on the raven’s whereabouts and his plan for the rest of the day. Luckily, he was free the whole Wednesday morning when the blond informed him that Levi was going to hang out in a café near their new office. Grabbing the chance, Eren hurried to the place and hoped that he wouldn’t chicken out.

            The café was posh and definitely not a place where university students go to. Almost all customers were businessmen with their suits and briefcases. Eren looked down on his casual clothes and felt self-conscious. But he didn’t have the time to care about his appearance since talking to Levi was more important.

            Eren searched around for the raven and inwardly cursing the latter’s lack in height. Thankfully, he caught the familiar undercut-styled hair already at the counter. Without hesitations, the younger male headed straight for the raven despite various grumblings of protest from other customers in line.

            “Can you add an iced latte to that?” he quickly butted in before the shorter male could pay and handed money to the cashier that covered both of their drinks.

            Levi’s gaze on him was intense and hard. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a clipped tone.

            “I know you don’t want to see me, but can we talk? Please?” Eren asked, biting his lower lip to hide his nervousness.

            “How’d you know where I am?”

            “Farlan told me,” the brunet replied. “I really wanted to talk to you and I don’t know if you would have agreed to meet me if I asked you, so I asked Farlan for help.”

            The raven had an impassive expression, making it hard for the younger male to discern the other’s thoughts. Eren couldn’t see his usual quirks that betrayed his real emotions. This Levi was a stranger to him.

            Rejection never came, though, and Levi averted his gaze to look for an empty table. The brunet followed him like a lost puppy while doing his best to calm down. There was an available spot at the far end of the café which was favorable since it gave them a bit of privacy. Eren fiddled with his fingers under the table while they waited for their drinks. Levi was busy with his phone so the brunet took the opportunity to steal glances at him. Even if the raven looked worn-out due to his work, he was still gorgeous. Nothing much had changed on his appearance but his demeanor was obviously different now. He’s more serious, more professional, and scarily calmer than ever. He looked like he really belonged to what he was doing. Even though he was juggling his duties back in Sina and in Maria, the raven didn’t look like he was going to stab anyone unlike in his last job.

            “Are you here to just stare at me or do you really want to talk?” Levi’s voice cut his thoughts and Eren felt his face warm up at being caught.

            “Ah, sorry. Yeah, I wanted to talk,” he answered shyly.

            “So talk, kid.”

            Eren frowned at the lack of interest coming from the older male. Like he just wanted to get this over it and didn’t really care that he was making an effort to patch things up. Or maybe Levi completely lost his faith in him and thought that he was only there to create more drama. Either way, Eren couldn’t pass this chance up and it would be up to Levi whether or not he’d believe him.

            “Uhh… yeah. Sorry,” Eren started, pinching his thigh through his jeans to compose himself. “First of all, thank you for not kicking me out of here or decking me earlier.”

            “I’m considering those options right now,” the raven said casually.

            The brunet didn’t let it perturbed him and continued, “I just want to say I’m sorry for… for all the things I’ve said and done. I was way out of line and I shouldn’t have jumped into conclusions. A simple apology isn’t enough for what I did but it’s the only thing I can offer right now.”

            “You weren’t just way out of line, you went extremely beyond it.”

            “And if only I could turn back time, I’d do things differently. Believe me, Levi. No one hates myself for hurting you more than I do. You deserve better than that and I—I don’t deserve you.”

            “Eren, what—” But the brunet cut him off before he could finish what his question. He feared that if he stopped, his thoughts would get derailed and he wouldn’t be able to say everything he wanted.

            “You’re smart and you’re strong while I’m just a brat who had gotten in your way. You look contented with what you’re doing right now and it makes me feel guilty that the reason you didn’t reach your dreams earlier was because of me and my selfishness.

            “If it weren’t for me, you could have had all of these sooner. So I’m sorry for being an asshole and a jerk and you deserve someone who will support you in every way. I realized after everything that maybe I’m not really the one for you. That I just forced myself to fit in your life when you could have done so much better. I blame myself for holding you back and I regret it. I’m sorry.”

            Levi’s thin brows were furrowed but he stayed silent for a while. Maybe he was contemplating what Eren dropped on him. Meanwhile, the brunet tried to hold his gaze but couldn’t withstand the intensity of those slate eyes so he moved his attention to his drink and cradled it between his hands. The warmth of the cup somehow eased the anxiety building up inside him while waiting for the raven’s answer.

            “I just don’t understand why you couldn’t trust me,” the shorter male spoke quietly.

            Eren tightened his grip on the cup and willed away the tears that threatened to fall. He wasn’t going to cry inside a café full of professionals and businessmen alike. Most importantly, he wasn’t going to cry in front of Levi. He thought that if he cried, he would look like he was trying to gain sympathy from the person he wronged and that wasn’t acceptable; he’s not going to play the victim.

            “I wanted to,” he breathed out shakily, “but everything just came back to me in full force then I became irrational. Mom always scolded me when I was a kid because I was too stubborn to listen. I didn’t really give it much thought until it had come to bite me in the ass. I don’t know if I can really get rid of it completely, but I’m trying. I want to become a better person. I don’t want to risk losing important people in my life again.”

            The younger male finally lifted his head to look at the man sitting across him. This time, he held the gaze and hoped that Levi could see how sincere he was. He really did want to change for the better. Although he probably could do it without reopening past wounds by talking to his past lover, he knew that it was necessary. He didn’t want to leave things between him and Levi in a sour note. As much as possible, he’d like to be civil with him since he didn’t want to be awkward around him if they’d see each other again.

            Levi’s facial expression remained indifferent but his eyes conveyed something else. Eren couldn’t decipher what it was because it seemed like it was swarming with different emotions all at once.

            “I forgive you,” the raven uttered softly, not breaking his gaze with Eren. “I forgive you because I know you’re not a bad person.”

            Relief flooded in the brunet’s system. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” he sighed.

            “I really do hope you can change, Eren.”

            “I also want to apologize to your boss. I wish he didn’t give you a hard time after that time at the bistro.”

            Levi waved him off. “Don’t bother. Eyebrows was totally understanding about it. Well, about everything, really.”

            Eren could only nod at his clarification. He was lucky that the raven’s boss was also his friend, judging by the nickname. He wouldn’t know what to do if Levi was fired from his dream job because of the humiliation Eren put him through.

            “I’m really sorry for everything, Levi. You deserve to be happy.”

            “Thank you, Eren. You deserve that, too.”

            A part of Eren wished that the happiness they were referring to was each other, but he knew it couldn’t be. Even if he wanted to hold Levi in his arms just like they used to, he couldn’t do it. Levi wasn’t his anymore and he didn’t have the right to claim him as his. As much as it hurt him, it was the only way. He had to let Levi go if he wanted to learn how to stop clinging to the ghosts of his past. This bittersweet ending taught him a hard lesson that he needed to absorb.

            “I have to go. I still have a meeting in ten minutes,” Levi informed him, finishing his cup of coffee.

            Before the raven could leave, Eren shot up from his seat and extended a hand towards Levi. “Thank you for hearing me out,” he said.

            The only thing that he could think of when the raven took his hand was that it was probably going to be the last time he would hold it. Levi’s pale hand was still soft just as Eren remembered and he relished the feeling of it. He tried to make the moment last longer, but their hands soon fell limply to their sides. He fought the urge to grab it again.

            When they walked out of the café, Eren felt like he lost something valuable. This was the moment when they would part ways, not knowing when the next time they’d see each other and be as close as they were. They faced one another for their farewells and Eren took a short moment to memorize Levi’s appearance. He was going to miss him, but this was for the best.

            “Goodbye, Eren.”

            “Bye, Levi.”

            The two headed in opposite directions and Eren walked away as fast as he could. It was officially over and when he knew he was far away from Levi, he let those damned tears fall.

 

* * *

 

           

           For Eren, Levi had always been his wings. He soared every time Levi was there with him, carrying him to new heights and new places he hadn’t been before. Levi was his freedom.

            Wings had also been his subject on most of his paintings, mainly because he made the older male as his inspiration. Back then, his strokes were gentle and the colors he used were soft. But now, as he stood in front of his piece, he observed how the edges of the feathers were sharp and hard. The white and blue colors were still there except it seemed like it was fading because of the reds and oranges that surrounded the wings. As if they were engulfed in flames.

            It had been more than a month since Eren and Levi had talked it out. Eren had been focusing on his painting ever since Christmas break. It was something he did to keep his mind out of the dark thoughts. It became therapeutic for him and this piece had been one of the results of his isolation in his room. He honestly didn’t know what to paint, so he dug deep into his soul and this was what he came up with—burning wings. Signifying how the freedom he once treasured had been destroyed, leaving nothing but ashes.

            The brunet had shown it to his professor and the next thing he knew, his piece was chosen for an art exhibit at the downtown art gallery. What his professor saw, he would never know. But this was a good experience for him, so he’d take it.

            He just felt so awkward among the stylish people who came. Mikasa and Armin helped him find a decent shirt and pants, preferably less wrinkled and didn’t smell. They even convinced him to shave which he really couldn’t do anything about since Mikasa full-on glared at him when he tried to complain. The only thing he asked for was that they don’t cut his hair and fortunately, they let it go.

            Both of them couldn’t come so Eren had to endure everything alone. He went around the gallery, looking at the other pieces and tried to talk to people. If there was one thing he noticed after the Levi ordeal, he found out that he wasn’t as talkative as back then. Maybe it was his subconscious stopping him from saying unnecessary things. When the brunet lost the energy to mingle, he went back to look at his piece. He wanted to leave already, but he still had to stick around in case his professor or someone would look for him.

            “This one’s pretty. Don’t you think so?” a small voice piped up beside him, interrupting his staring contest with his painting. Eren turned his head and saw a petite blonde examining his artwork with fascination. It was the first time since the night started that someone called it pretty. It got him curious.

            “Is it? I think it’s pretty tragic like it’s losing its freedom,” Eren commented, wanting to know more about what the girl thought.

            “Hm, really? I think this is inspiring!” she said, intriguing the brunet even more.

            “Why do you say that?”

            The girl flashed him a bright smile which threw him off a bit before answering, “It reminds me of a phoenix. Aren’t phoenixes supposed to catch on fire when they die and they get reborn? So I just thought that this symbolizes a new beginning. Another chance to start all over again.”

            “That’s… a refreshing insight,” Eren could only say. Honestly, he never interpreted his work as what the girl said. It’s wonderful how people could see one thing differently; it only happened that she saw it in a positive light while he only thought of it as a tragedy. Eren scrutinized his work once again and he began to see it just like the girl did. It was really indeed refreshing, having a different perspective on it.

            “I’m Eren, by the way” he blurted out.

            “Wait, Eren? As in this painting’s Eren?” she squeaked and blushed brightly when he nodded. “Oh, my gosh! I’m sorry I said this was a happy painting when it isn’t. I’ve always been told I’m a bit tactless when it comes to stuff.”

            The brunet laughed to his own surprise. “Hey, it’s alright. I think your interpretation is kinda spot on, too. You just made me realize it,” he reassured, smiling at the blushing blonde.

            “I swear I didn’t mean anything bad about it! I really like it. If I only have money of my own, I’d buy it this instant,” she teased. The mood between them lightened and Eren felt relaxed for the first time that night.

            The girl looked like she was about his age or younger; he wasn’t sure because she was short and had an innocent face. Her long blonde hair was curled at the ends and her big, blue eyes were emphasized by her eyeliner. She was very pretty and seemed friendly.

            “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” Eren stated shyly.

            “Oh! I’m Historia. Historia Reiss.” They shook hands and Eren couldn’t help but notice how smooth her hand felt.

            Both of them got comfortable quickly and started to get to know each other better. Eren learned she was also a student at the university but was a year younger. Historia was taking up a degree in Political Science as her pre-law since she planned on following the footsteps of her father who was a lawyer. But even if law was her chosen career path, Eren discovered that she loved music and art. They discussed a bit more about the painting and the other pieces displayed in the exhibit. The tossing of ideas back and forth with each other had made Eren feel like his old self once again.

            It was only when someone tapped Historia’s shoulder that their conversation ended. Apparently, the exhibit was coming to an end already. Eren didn’t even realize how long they talked.

            “It was nice talking to you, Eren. I had a great time,” the blonde remarked.

            “I did, too,” Eren said, sincerely.

            “I gotta go. Guess I’ll see you around uni?” Historia beamed at him with her angelic smile. She was about to leave when Eren got his bearings together and called her name. Something about her caught his interest and he wanted to know more about her.

            “Can I, uh… Can I get your number?” the brunet asked, his face heating up in the process. “I just thought maybe I could use your knowledge on art sometime? If that’s okay with you? Wait…no. You probably don’t have the time. I’m so sorry.”

            Historia chuckled, leaving Eren completely flustered. “Easy, Eren. It’s okay. Maybe we can work something out. Give me your phone.”

            With slightly trembling hands, the brunet handed his phone over and exhaled a breath he didn’t realize he was holding until the blonde finished typing her number. Isolating himself for months made it hard for him to connect with others. If it was hard reconnecting with old friends, it was even harder to start new friendships. However, Historia was an easy person to get along with even in just a short amount of time. She was a charmer and it greatly helped that they both had similar interests.

            As Eren waved and watched Historia go out the gallery doors, he felt that this night was the start of good things happening.

            And it was.

            Aside from slowly fixing things with his old friends, he had also gained a new friend in Historia. The girl was smart, witty, and kind. It was a coincidence that their breaks coincided with each other so he used those times to hang out with her. Eren still hadn’t returned to basketball practices and Armin and Mikasa had different breaks, leaving him with more free time alone. But because of Historia, he was still able to make those times productive with their long talks about art. He wondered why she didn’t pursue an art degree with her knowledge, but he guessed she was one of the people who chose to follow in the footsteps of their parents.

            Their break times turned into coffee shop hangouts and then into dinners. Eren found himself craving for the attention Historia was giving him. She was slowly filling the void in him that he lost from those months before. He tried to distance a bit from her but Historia made it difficult for him. He was like a moth drawn to a light.

            Eren still had bouts of hotheadedness and there was an unfortunate time when he directed his anger towards Historia. But instead of turning away from him, Historia became eager to help him. On weekends, they’d get together and do yoga or meditate. Those sessions actually helped him alleviate the anger and stress he felt. Not only that, she was the first one to know about what happened between him and Levi. Maybe because she didn’t know who the older male was so she couldn’t hold any judgments beforehand.

            Letting all his feelings out to someone outside his circle of friends eased the burden that he carried for long. Historia was all ears and didn’t interrupt him while he poured his heart out. When he got tired, she let him rest on her lap and stroked his hair.

            “I think what you did was brave and selfless,” Historia remarked. “Letting go of someone you love so they can have their own happiness is hard, but it’s also something that should spur you on to find yours. Just because it ended doesn’t mean that you have to stop desiring a new start that you clearly deserve.”

            Her words reminded him of the same thing she said with his painting. It might not be clear right now, but he was in the process of starting over again. Like a phoenix, he would rise from the ashes.

            Looking up at Historia’s angelic face, hope stirred inside of him and he latched onto it.

            “You’re right. I think it’s time to find my own happiness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got mad at myself when I finished writing this. 
> 
> And I posted a fic idea/drabble on my [Tumblr](https://justanotherdamnkitten.tumblr.com). I might turn it into a real fic after this one.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I don't know where we're going  
>  But I know where we've been.  
> We've been hiding from each other,  
> We've been hiding from our sins."_
> 
> \- Call Me in the Morning, Taking Back Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hit a writing slump but I hope you still like this short chapter. Have a happy new year, guys!

            Christmas had been uneventful for Levi although he didn’t mind it much since he was with his mother back in Stohess. Levi had been cranky for the whole trip but his frustrations went away when he saw how his hard-earned money helped in the renovation of their house. What was once a ratty old house turned into shipshape. The creaky floorboards were replaced and the whole house was repainted. A lot of work was still needed especially on the inside, but Levi was certain that it would be finished soon.

            Kuchel already had their lunch prepared when he arrived and his mother smothered him in loving kisses per usual. Levi put down his bags in his room which was still untouched, probably because his mother needed to consult him about what he wanted to do to it. The kitchen, on the other hand, had become more spacious and the appliances had been upgraded. The money that Levi sent home and Kuchel’s steady income allowed for it to happen. Slowly, his dream of giving his mother a comfortable life was taking shape.

            Since it had been months since they last saw each other, Levi let himself be fussed over. There had been a substantial amount of food on their table night after night and he was just happy to see his mother so at ease. On days when he had nothing to do at home, he’d visit his relatives and gave them all little gifts from Sina. His uncle dropped by on Christmas Eve to have dinner with them and soon passed out on the guest bedroom while Levi and Kuchel bonded over tea on the living room couch.

            Despite the calm façade he was sporting, Levi was still distraught about what happened back in Maria. He knew Eren was impulsive and brazen, but he didn’t think he’d go as far as to make a fool of himself. He thought that after months of being apart, they could’ve had another chance to make things right between them. But then, Eren still thought of him as a lowlife when he remarked that Levi used Erwin as a means for career advancement. The Eren he knew wouldn’t say that and he still found it hard that those words came out from his mouth. Except that they did and now, the raven was tired of going in circles with the brunet. He constantly brushed it off before but at this point, he couldn’t deny that they had become toxic with each other. Something went wrong along the way with their relationship and instead of fixing it, they just ignored it. Little by little, their bond deteriorated until it was only hanging by a thread.

            Levi was tired of it all and he didn’t know where to go from here. His mind was already made up—he didn’t want anything to do with Eren anymore—but his heart told him he should listen to Eren if he would reach out and then forgive him. He was angry at himself for acting like a teenager. He’s a grown man who should know when to stop feeling for someone who wasn’t good for him. He’d done it before, why was it so hard now?

            “Something bothering you, sweetie?” His mother interjected, snapping him out of his reverie.

            Levi spent a minute collecting his thoughts. “Is there a relationship where you can be happy every single day?”

* * *

 

            “There’s no such thing as perfect love, sweetheart. Every relationship has its own flaws. Some people think they found their soulmate but then it didn’t last long. Just like what happened between me and your father,” the raven’s mother revealed. It was the first time in so many years that the topic of his father had come up.

            “Do you still have feelings for him?” Levi asked, feebly.

            Kuchel snorted at the inquiry. “Oh no, honey. I’m way past that.”

            “Let’s just say you still do and then he came back out of the blue, will you accept him?”

            “I don’t know,” his mother sighed, “I’m already used to just you and me. It’s been so long and it will all depend on why he decided to come back. And it’s not just me who will make a decision because your opinion matters too.”

            “But have you forgiven him for hurting you when he left?”

            “I did, actually. Of course, it hurt in the beginning, but eventually, I learned to let it go. I have you and that’s perfectly fine with me,” Kuchel said, smiling warmly at her son. “Why the questions, though?”

            Levi wanted to drop the topic immediately, however, this was his chance to get the feelings off his chest and hoped that his mother can help him. “It’s… Eren,” he started, voice slightly quivering. “I saw him when I met my friends for dinner and he just lost it when he learned I was coming back to work there. He also said some things that weren’t like him and…”

            “And?”

            “And I’m just tired of everything. He’s changed and he blames me for it. He thinks I’m the only one who’s at fault here when he’s also part of the problem.”

            “But you still love him?” Kuchel asked.

            Levi released a heavy sigh. He didn’t even bother to answer his mother since she already knew the answer to it. He had known a lot of people throughout his life, but she was the only one who could really read him; there was no way he could hide his true feelings from his mother.

            “How do you stop it?” he returned with his own question. “How did you do it with my father?”

            Setting down her tea on the table, Kuchel scooted closer to her son and threw an arm around his shoulder. “You know, if I hadn’t met Eren before, I would’ve thought he’s just another jerk ex-boyfriend of yours,” she expressed with a light chuckle. “But I’ve met him and his family and I honestly believe he’s not like that. Yes, he made mistakes and I’m angry at him for hurting my baby, but it does not give us the right to label him as a bad guy just like that, Levi.”

            Eren’s smiles and overall lively demeanor suddenly popped into his mind. That memory of Eren was so distant from the last time he saw him. There were no traces of the boyish charm he used to know. The brunet seemed so much older and serious due to his appearance, but still beautiful in a manly way.

            “You didn’t answer the question, mom,” Levi pointed out.

            His mother started brushing his hair with his fingers, making him instantaneously relax into the touch. “You can’t unlove a person easily especially when you still have strong feelings for them,” she began. “There are those who just wake up one day and realize that they don’t love the other person anymore. Some just come into terms after a long time with no communication like me. But with you and Eren? I think it’s not going to be easy.”

            “How do you know it’s not going to be easy for Eren?”

            “Because his mother told me he’s not really in the best state right now.”

            Levi pulled away slightly from Kuchel to shoot her a surprised look. “What do you mean his mother told you?”

            “Silly boy. Carla and I have been in touch ever since they invited us to their home. She has some amazing recipes that you should taste sometime,” Kuchel stated thoughtfully.

            “You didn’t tell me you’re in contact with the mother of my ex,” he said pointedly. “What’s with Eren, anyway?”

            “Carla called me early this morning and mentioned in passing that Eren seems a bit distant and cold. She says he keeps himself in his room and his usual appetite is gone. She also complained a bit about his greasy hair.”

            That last bit made Levi want to snort out loud but refrained from doing so. Why was Eren acting like he was having a harder time than him? Shouldn’t it be him that was supposed to be angry and sad about all of this and not Eren? A frown slowly crept on his face and Kuchel noticed it.

            “Carla suspects he’s deeply regretting whatever happened,” she added as an afterthought.

            “How would she know?” he grumbled.

            “Mothers know best, honey, and I know you’ll make it through all this. All I ask is that you hear Eren out when the time comes. He’s a good kid.”

            Somehow, Levi doubted it. They didn’t know what happened the last time they met—how Eren had been far from the good kid they’d always known him to be. But then again, the younger male was an emotional brat. There were a lot of instances when he couldn’t control his emotions, but he usually just sulked instead of losing his temper.

            All those anger bursts from Eren had him questioning whether he really knew him at all. Would he even really apologize to him? Levi recalled how it was him who always had to go to Eren after they fought. It was always him who took the first step to reconciliation, that’s why he didn’t believe it would be any different now. But if his mother said otherwise, he’d try to be open with the possibility even if it was highly unlikely.

            “Do you think if we get to talk it out that would be the end of it?”

            “Only the two of you can answer that,” Kuchel said with a smile.

            Levi didn’t push the conversation further and just relaxed in his mother’s touch while finishing his tea. The comforting smell of his mother never failed to soothe him in the midst of his troubled thoughts. When he was younger, other children made fun of him because he was a mama’s boy. Up until now, he never thought it as something that lessened his manliness. She had been there for him throughout the good and the bad. She wasn’t perfect and they didn’t have the best life when he grew up. But still, his mother had sacrificed a lot for him and for that, he would always love her. The least thing he could do was to listen to her words of wisdom.

            “I love you, mom,” Levi declared.

            “Love you, too, sweetheart. Happy birthday.”

* * *

 

            When Levi returned to Sina, he was greeted with a notice from Erwin informing him of their next trip to Maria. He groaned inwardly as he messaged back to confirm. This time, they would be staying for a week and he wished it would be drama-free. His boss also informed him that it would only be the two of them so he made a decision to stay at his fiancé’s house to reduce expenses. At first, he tried to decline and suggested that he would just stay at a hotel which he would pay from his own pocket. Erwin only gave him the ‘father look’ which he used when Levi was being stubborn. In the end, he couldn’t do anything about it so the following week, they were on their way to Orvud.

            Orvud was a lake town a few minutes away from Trost. It’s a small community that was similar to Shiganshina and was widely known for its luxurious lakefront vacation rentals. Erwin’s fiancé, Mike, lived closer to the town center than the lake. Levi admired the modern Cape Cod house when they stopped in front of it, the last rays of the sun bathing it in a golden light. The raven followed his boss through the front door and he mentally approved of the clean surroundings. He guessed that Erwin must have tipped Mike off about his tendencies.

            It was also going to be the first time Levi would meet his friend’s fiancé. Erwin wasn’t kidding when he said he kept his private life from work. He hadn’t seen one picture of them and the blond shooed him off every time he nagged him. Erwin made him wait in the living room while he called his soon-to-be husband. Moments later, he heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

            If Levi thought Erwin was the most dominating man he’d ever seen, he was wrong. Standing beside his boss was an even taller, bulkier man with blond hair parted in the middle. His mustache and beard also added to the domineering aura. It didn’t help that both Erwin and Mike were staring down at him with intense gazes. To break the intimidating connection, Levi held out a hand and introduced himself.

            “Hello, I’m Levi Ackerman. Thank you for letting me stay in your home for the meantime.”

            Mike grasped his hand with his own large one and gave him a firm handshake. However, the taller male didn’t release his hold on him and Levi was surprised when he suddenly leaned and sniffed him. The raven was taken aback by the action and could only stare at Mike in astonishment.

            “Smells like a ball of angst,” Mike commented offhandedly, smirking at Levi.

            “What the f—”

            “Mike,” Erwin intervened, “what did I tell you about smelling people you just met?”

            “Sorry,” the taller blond apologized but still had the cheeky look on his face. “I’m Mike and welcome to my humble abode.”

            The engaged couple then guided him to the guest room where he would be staying. Following the unusual introductions, Mike became less weird and more conversational as they got to know each other. Levi found out he was actually pretty cool and enjoyed hearing about his work as a marketing manager. Despite looking like two dominant men, Erwin and Mike complemented each other. They weren’t as touchy-feely like other couples but their love was shown through their gazes and gentle touches. The raven was happy for his friend but he couldn’t help but feel a bit envious of their relationship. Even without broadcasting to the whole world, the magnitude of the silence spoke volumes.

            Soon, they trooped down to the dining room where Mike served dinner and wine. Their host had a lot of embarrassing stories of Erwin and Levi let out a few chuckles. It wasn’t every day he’d see him squirm in his seat and blush furiously. Who knew the great Erwin Smith was a big klutz outside the office?

            “Can we please stop? Levi already knows enough to use as blackmail,” Erwin groaned.

            “Hell yeah, I do,” the raven smirked victoriously.

            “I’m almost regretting this. Should’ve just agreed on you staying at a hotel,” his boss said jokingly.

            Levi took a sip of his wine. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask earlier. Did Mike sniffed you when you first met?”

            “Of course, though he didn’t tell me what I smelled like exactly. He just nodded and said I smelled good,” Erwin shrugged. “I better take care of the dishes. Don’t tell Levi any more than what he already knows.”

            With that, Erwin retrieved the dishes and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Mike and Levi with their wines.

            “I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what did Erwin smell like?” he asked. It had been bugging him earlier since Mike said each person had their own unique smell and the fact that he only said Erwin smelled good had him thinking that there’s more to it. His suspicions increased further when the sniffing monster smiled wickedly.

            Mike got up from his seat with his empty wine glass in hand. He started to walk in the direction of the kitchen which was behind Levi, but stopped beside the raven’s chair and leaned down to whisper.

            “He smelled like the perfect bottom.”

            And Levi choked on his drink, instantly regretting his decision.

* * *

 

            The new ZCG office was coming along nicely and it’s almost ready for occupancy. Some of their company documents and files would be transferred on their next trip and if things wouldn’t go out of hand, it is possible that their branch opening would be moved up early. Erwin and Levi had been relentlessly meeting with clients with the help of Pixis.

            Farlan had been messaging him nonstop ever since he arrived in Maria, asking him of his whereabouts. He didn’t think of it at first, but apparently, he should’ve when Eren suddenly appeared beside him on Wednesday morning as he was buying his coffee. Levi had just come out of an exasperating client meeting and he was grumpy. Eren showing up out of the blue and learning that Farlan was the reason the brat found him didn’t help alleviate his mood. But as much as he wanted to ignore the brunet that broke his heart, he vaguely recalled his mother’s plea.

            Initially, Levi was doubtful about Eren’s intentions. What if he was only there to blame him again? What if he lost his temper inside the café full of strangers? He pulled out his phone to distract him from his thoughts and texted Farlan that he’s going to hunt him down and cut off his arms for being a little shit. When the raven looked up, the brunet was staring at him wistfully. It looked like he was lost in his thoughts.

            Eren still looked the same as the last time he saw him—greasy, long hair and facial hair that made him look older than he really was. Levi thought that if the younger male would take care of himself, he would pull off this more mature appearance and might even look gorgeous.

            He wanted to hit himself.

            He shouldn’t be thinking of Eren that way. He should remember that he was the guy that didn’t trust him and was the cause of his loneliness. A toxic person that he should remove from his life.

            “Are you here to just stare at me or do you really want to talk?” Levi said gruffly.

            The brunet slightly shook his head as he realized he zoned out. “Ah, sorry. Yeah, I wanted to talk.”

            “So talk, kid.”

            Levi noticed Eren frown a little before taking a deep breath. The brunet was fidgeting in his seat and the raven was tempted to kick his shin out of annoyance.    

            “Uhh… yeah. Sorry. First of all, thank you for not kicking me out of here or decking me earlier.”

            “I’m considering those options right now.”

            “I just want to say I’m sorry for… for all the things I’ve said and done. I was way out of line and I shouldn’t have jumped into conclusions. A simple apology isn’t enough for what I did but it’s the only thing I can offer right now.”

            “You weren’t just way out of line, you went extremely beyond it,” Levi corrected.

            “And if only I could turn back time, I’d do things differently. Believe me, Levi. No one hates myself for hurting you more than I do. You deserve better than that and I—I don’t deserve you.”

            Levi was surprised at the brunet’s statement. It was one thing when it came from him whenever he convinced himself, but hearing it straight from the younger male suddenly felt all too real. Did Eren really believe that?

            “Eren, what—”

            But Eren wasn’t listening and continued to rattle on. He was atoning for every single wrong thing he’d done and he was blaming himself completely. Eren wasn’t looking at him yet he could see the pain on his face. Levi’s reluctance on talking to the other male vanished as he realized that this was his chance to make things clear.

            “I just don’t understand why you couldn’t trust me,” he asked.

            “I wanted to, but everything just came back to me in full force then I became irrational. Mom always scolded me when I was a kid because I was too stubborn to listen. I didn’t really give it much thought until it had come to bite me in the ass. I don’t know if I can really get rid of it completely, but I’m trying. I want to become a better person. I don’t want to risk losing important people in my life again.”

            When Eren found the courage to look at him straight in the eye, Levi could see the genuine remorse in those depths. Something tugged on his heart and he remembered when his mother told him about the brunet being a good kid. It wasn’t easy to accept that he was wrong and yet, there was Eren who found ways to personally apologize to him. It would be foolish for Levi to prolong the younger male’s suffering just because he was being childish. He was the older one between them and he should act like his age. So without breaking the gaze, Levi forgave him.

            Relief was evident in Eren’s emerald eyes and his body language had become relaxed. He mentioned wanting to apologize to Erwin but Levi told him that his boss had been understanding. Until now, the raven didn’t understand why Erwin wasn’t bothered that he was accused of having a relationship with his subordinate by a guy he just met. He wasn’t even angry at the very least.     

            “I’m really sorry for everything, Levi. You deserve to be happy,” Eren said sincerely.

            Gratitude filled his heart at the words and Levi returned the same sentiment. It felt like a boulder was lifted off his chest and he could breathe properly. Checking his watch, he was surprised to see that he only had several minutes to spare before another client meeting. As much as he wanted to talk to Eren more, he couldn’t blow the appointment off.

            “I have to go. I still have a meeting in ten minutes.”

            “Thank you for hearing me out,” Eren said, standing up from his seat and extending a hand.

            Levi looked at the outstretched hand and he swallowed the lump in his throat. This was going to be his first physical contact with the brunet after months of being devoid from it. His heart was beating loudly and he schooled his expression to one of indifference to hide his nervousness as he reached out. The moment their hands touched, Levi could only focus on how Eren’s hand was rough yet still held the same warmth as back then. Suddenly, he felt a strong urge to thread their fingers together and stay connected like old times, he missed holding Eren’s hand even if it was comparatively larger than his own. Nostalgia hit him hard and he didn’t want to let go. But, of course, this wasn’t right and both of them lowered their hands at the same time.

            The older male was the first one to go out of the café with Eren behind him. Before they parted ways, they bid each other farewell.

            “Goodbye, Eren,” Levi said quietly, the words stinging his heart.   

            “Bye, Levi.”

            A simple word that held a deeper, painful meaning.

            They turned their backs on each other and started walking into opposite directions, but Levi found himself slowing down. He found himself wanting to go back to Eren and ask him for just one last touch, kiss, or even a hug. He just wanted to feel Eren if today was the last day they would be so close to each other. But when he turned around, the other male was already far away. He couldn’t bring himself to run towards the brunet, so he stayed rooted on the spot and watched Eren disappear.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It's not the first time  
>  But this one really carved it in."_
> 
> \- Oh Well, Oh Well, Mayday Parade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, missed me? 
> 
> Sorry for this late post! As an apology, here's a rather long one to make up for it!

            Levi managed to get back his bearings before returning for the meeting. Each step he took felt heavy and a voice at the back of his mind kept telling him to run back to Eren. It was hard to walk away but he forced himself to do it. He must have still looked frazzled because Erwin was looking at him funnily. Thankfully, the blond kept his mouth shut and set aside his questions to focus on their task.

            His mood hadn’t improved even when they got back to Mike’s house later that evening. Refusing the offer to have dinner, he bade the engaged couple a good night before heading to his room. After changing to his sleepwear, Levi lay down and stared at the ceiling.

            What happened earlier was his and Eren’s closure, wasn’t it? He didn’t have any idea how the concept worked since it was the first time it happened to him. All of his exes except Eren just left after the break-up, never to be seen or heard from again. He was at loss on what to feel. Shouldn’t he be happy since he had finally gotten out of a toxic relationship officially? Shouldn’t he feel like he’s ready to start dating again? At least, that’s what the shitty romcom movies Hanji liked portrayed. However, the idea of dating again didn’t appeal to him. Even thinking about meeting people at bars had him cringing. After that incident on Erwin’s engagement announcement, he never tried meeting other people again.

            Levi sighed deeply. There was nothing he could do about it now. They had let each other go and from here on out, he and Eren were going to different paths. He looked at his hand that touched Eren’s and remembered how it felt. Closing his eyes, he placed his palm over his heart. Even if they weren’t together anymore, the brunet would always be someone special to him. Nothing good would ever come out if he stayed mad at him. He only wished that after some time, there would be no awkwardness between them.

            Life went on for the raven in the next days, working and preparing their new office. Someone from the HR Department in Sina was also present to interview applicants for the Maria branch. Levi didn’t actively participate in that but Erwin tasked him to observe. The most eventful thing that happened during the week was probably when Nile had seen them and tried to act all mighty. Erwin, being calm and level-headed that he was, only smiled and didn’t pay attention to the crap coming out of Nile’s mouth. Levi smirked when his former boss was slowly getting frustrated at the both of them. His mood slightly improved after seeing him walk away after learning that ZCG was opening soon. If Erwin’s calculations were correct, they could already start operations by mid-May. That meant that they would be moving soon to Maria and Levi should already find a new place.

            That’s exactly what he was doing on Saturday morning when he got a call from Hanji. His friend was making sure that he was going to be present at their dinner later that night. As much as he wanted not to go, he wasn’t coming back next month and this was his only available time for a while. The dinner had finally become a tradition among them and the crazy brunette was adamant that they should stick to it because, according to her, they were all in for the long run. So even if it was uncomfortable going (mainly because Eren was going to be there), he got ready in the afternoon. Erwin and Mike were playing chess when he went downstairs and both blonds looked at him questioningly.

            “Going somewhere?” Erwin asked, sounding like a mother probing his child.

            “Going to dinner with my friends,” he replied.

            “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

            “It’s fine. Eren and I already talked. We’re good,” Levi cleared, hoping that his voice didn’t betray his nervousness. Erwin narrowed his eyes, but eventually, let go.

            As the raven opened the front door, he heard Mike ask, “Who’s Eren?”

            “His ex.”

            “Ah, the source of angst,” Mike said knowingly and Levi rolled his eyes when he closed the door. If Mike was just another stranger in the streets, he would’ve punched him even if he was bigger. Erwin, too, if he wasn’t his boss.

            Walking to the town’s bus stop, the raven began to think about how he should act towards Eren when he would see him. It’s safe to say that there wouldn’t be any more surprises like last time, although, he was sure that they wouldn’t even talk at all. Levi contemplated deeply as he sat on the bench, waiting for the bus bound to Trost. Why was he even making a big deal out of it anyway? They’d already established that they were already over and that they didn’t have anything to do with each other. Why was he fixated on how he should act around Eren? He didn’t have to change his attitude. Eren already knew he was the standoffish and cold type of guy and, yet, he still liked him for who he was. He accepted him wholeheartedly and that’s why Levi loved…

_Damn it._

            Thankfully, a bus headed to Trost arrived before his thoughts strayed any further. He chose to sit at the back and tried to think of random things such as Mike’s snoring or Sasha’s insatiable hunger. He tried to fill his mind with random images just so he wouldn’t think of gorgeous, emerald eyes. However, when he got off at Trost, his nervousness was back in full force.

            The bistro was packed that evening but he could still hear Hanji amidst the noise of the other customers. A freckled waiter waved at him and Levi had to rack his brain to remember who he was. Then he recalled Hanji introducing Marco the last time he was there which then evoked the memories of Eren berating him.

            _Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,_ Levi thought but his feet kept leading him to the stairs.

            He hadn’t been able to spot the group immediately due to the number of people, allowing him to take a deep breath to calm himself. A loud shriek coming from the corner got his attention and he saw Sasha on her feet, wrestling something out of Farlan’s hand. It was probably food since nothing could provoke the engineering student aside from it. When Levi approached the table, Sasha was already baring her teeth and looked ready to bite Farlan’s hand off. But the older male wasn’t deterred; he was even laughing and kept aggravating the girl.

            “Stop acting like children,” Levi interrupted, snatching the crostini out of Farlan’s hand and handing it over to Sasha who was almost drooling.

            “Thank you, Levi!” she cried before wolfing down the appetizer.

            Everyone acknowledged the raven’s arrival except Farlan who pouted at him. “You’re no fun,” he stated.

            “Somebody’s gotta be the mature one here, dipshit,” Levi countered, finding an empty seat beside Armin at the other side of the table. As the young blond offered him a kind smile, he realized that he hadn’t seen his friend. He glanced at the table and the surroundings trying to get a glimpse of the familiar brown hair. However, there were no signs of Eren and no one seemed to be bothered by his absence. Maybe he was just late?

            Everyone started placing their orders while they exchanged light-hearted conversations. It felt like what happened the last time they all met was such a long time ago. No one was being awkward around him and they were even eager to ask him about his near return to Maria. Even while Levi was preoccupied with talking, his eyes would wander somewhere else whenever he thought he saw a person with long, brown hair. Every time someone came up the stairs, hope ignited in his chest but fizzled out quickly when it turned out to be only a stranger. He tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, but he should’ve known it won’t go unnoticed by the astute boy beside him.

            “He’s not coming tonight,” Armin said quietly, making sure that only the older male could hear him.

            “Is he okay?” Levi asked in real concern because he hoped that Eren’s non-appearance didn’t mean that he wasn’t back in his old self-destructing ways. Fortunately, his worries dissipated when Armin smiled sincerely.

            “He’s okay. He’s just finishing a painting for his class. Since he took a break from basketball, painting’s his only outlet as of now. He’s doing a lot better if you must know. He never had any breakdowns lately,” he explained.

            “That’s good to hear,” the raven said, relief evident in his voice. The last thing he needed to hear was that Eren starting to be a recluse.

            Dinner went surprisingly peaceful after that except when Jean thought it would be a good idea to hide the cannoli from Sasha when she went to the restroom. Needless to say, Jean had come to learn the hard way never to anger Sasha again in the future. Levi cocked an eyebrow when he saw Mikasa gently scolding the two-tone-haired boy while examining the bite mark in his arm. Hanji, on the other hand, looked like she received a late Christmas gift while cradling Jean’s bitten arm. Other customers were already giving them exasperated looks but Marco came to the rescue and handled the situation quite well. Sasha carried on eating as if nothing happened which led to Levi wondering why he was friends with these bunch of crazies. Thanks to Armin though, he felt his insides settle now that he knew Eren was okay; it made things easier for him.

            Their goodbyes this time weren’t abrupt and drama-less. Levi even had a small smile as he returned to Orvud which lingered until he walked into the house. Erwin and Mike were in the living room, watching TV and eating popcorn. Both men looked up when they heard the door and was puzzled by the sight they met.

            “Good night,” the raven addressed both of them and went to his room. The two blonds exchanged a look and returned to their bubble. Tomorrow, Erwin and Levi would be going back to Sina so they’re making the most of their time.

            Levi opted to take a shower before going to bed. While under the stream of water, the fog in his head seemed to be washed away, too. Maybe he only needed to make sure that Eren was going to be alright on his own. Not that he was supposed to, but there would always be a part of him that would always be concerned with the brat. But now that he was fine, it was also time for Levi to focus wholly on himself. Another smile broke out on his face.

            That night had been one of the best sleep he had in a while and when they left, Levi didn’t feel dreadful unlike before. Instead, there was hope which only spurred him to look forward to the future.

 

* * *

 

 

            February meant double workload for Levi since he was stuck in Sina for the whole month. It also meant that he had to work during Valentine’s Day which he wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse. When the raven arrived at his desk on that day, he was met with messages written in heart-shaped papers and boxes of chocolates. Inspecting the senders’ names, he was surprised to see that many of them were female some of them were even from other departments. Didn’t they know he was gay? Some even came up to him and confessed personally. It had been awkward turning them down and telling them that he was into men.

            There were also some guys who sent him letters. Nack Teaz from third floor was the only guy who approached him, though and invited him out for lunch. However, Levi turned him down gently as he still wasn’t ready to go back to that scene yet. Nack understood and still gave him a box of dark chocolates which the raven munched on later at his apartment. Unfortunately for Levi, Erwin saw the whole interaction and teased him about it. Not caring about their work relationship at the moment, the shorter male threw an eraser which hit one of Erwin’s fuzzy eyebrows.

            Everyone worked tirelessly since they were in the final phase of the transition. HR was busy interviewing applicants to replace the ones who would be transferred to Maria while Erwin’s team was juggling their current work and organizing documents for the new branch. He also reminded them that they already need to find their own place as soon as possible. Since Levi was scheduled to come to Maria next month, he figured he would look for an apartment during that time. Opening the calendar on his computer, he browsed the dates he would be there so he could ask help from Farlan or Hanji. He froze when his eyes locked on one date.

            The Saturday in the week he’s going to be in Maria was Eren’s birthday.

            Maybe he was thinking far ahead but Levi was sure they would finally meet again. His heart rate suddenly picked up and a million thoughts swarmed him. What was he going to do? Ignoring the brunet clearly wasn’t an option if he wanted to be civil with him. The older male wanted to be at least in talking terms with the younger male to erase the awkwardness. If he could be friends with Farlan who was his former fuck buddy, maybe he could also be friends with an ex-boyfriend? With that thought in mind, Levi decided he should just get a gift for Eren. He didn’t have any ideas but he still had more than a month to find one, anyway.

            But the month passed by quickly and because they were too busy, he didn’t realize the trip to Maria was coming up until Erwin informed him. He only had one available day to shop before going to Maria and he still didn’t know what to buy for Eren. Levi had been awake since 3 AM, thinking about possible gifts but he came up empty. Because he really wanted to give Eren a gift, he was left with no other choice but to seek help. Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, Levi called Mikasa.

            _“It’s 4 AM. What do you want?”_ his cousin growled.

            “I need your help,” he said. Honestly, Levi didn’t care if he was disturbing her sleep. This was more important than that.

            _“This better be good.”_

            “What does Eren like for his birthday?”

            There was shuffling on the other line before the girl answered. _“Why?”_

“I’m going to be there for a week starting tomorrow and Eren’s birthday is on Saturday.”

            _“So?”_

            “So I’m going to give him a gift, dumbass,” Levi said, irritatingly.

            _“Or you can just not give him. You know he’s okay with that.”_

“No, I’m giving him one.”

            He heard his cousin sigh. _“Why are you so adamant about it? Are you hoping for something to happen?”_

“What? No!” Levi denied. “It’s just a sign of respect. Can you just tell me what the fuck he likes so I can buy it later?”

            _“Whatever you say,”_ Mikasa replied, clearly not believing him. _“Not sure what he likes for his birthday but I know he still loves those cartoon face masks. Give him a dozen of those and I’m sure he’ll like it.”_

“That’s it?” He felt like face masks weren’t enough although that was a nice suggestion since he saw a shop before that sells all kinds of masks.

            _“Then go buy him paintbrushes or something. He’s been spending way too much time painting, anyway.”_

“Alright, fine. You’re such a great help,” he said sarcastically. His head started to pound as he was getting tired of thinking. Mikasa only grumbled in response before the raven ended the call.

            He ended up buying the things Mikasa mentioned after he went around the mall later that day. For good measure, he added a leather journal with his name personalized on the cover. Eren was a sentimental brat so he hoped he would like it. Levi didn’t know why he was set on giving the brunet a gift when he didn’t know whether it was going to be rejected or not. His cousin’s earlier words came back to him and he started to wonder if he did want something to happen. He believed that he didn’t and this really was just customary to do for someone who’s going to celebrate his birthday. Levi intended to show that to Mikasa just that so when he got to the bistro on Saturday, he was all cool and calm.

            Downstairs was full of people but upstairs, it was only just their group. Hanji must have reserved it again just for them. They even decorated it with balloons and a ‘Happy Birthday!’ banner. Levi could also see some party hats on the table. It looked like a children’s party which was fitting for the rest of the group.

            He was ready for Hanji to launch onto him and give her usual I-missed-you-so-much bear hug but it didn’t come. Instead, he found her, along with the others, huddled around Connie who was showing them something on his phone.

            “Oh my god, she’s so pretty! Wait, is she really that small or he’s just a big ass tree?” Levi heard Hanji say. Connie was talking in a hushed voice so he couldn’t make out what he was trying to say.

            “He really likes ‘em short, huh?” Jean commented which earned him a swat on the back from Armin and a dark glare from Mikasa.

            “Jean!” the blond hissed. Armin raised his head and was surprised to see Levi coming towards them. “Levi!”

            The moment his name was called, everyone stopped briefly before chaos erupted. Connie panicked as he put his phone back in his pocket, Sasha loudly exclaimed she was going to the restroom, Moblit just sat there, and Hanji and Farlan immediately went over to Levi to greet him.

            “Levi!”

            “How’s it going, man?”

            His two best friends spoke simultaneously. Levi narrowed his eyes at them as they looked like they were hiding something based on their too wide grins.

            “What’s gotten into you? And what were you looking at earlier?” he asked.

            Hanji began to laugh but it sounded forced which added to the raven’s suspicions even more. “Nothing! Just a picture that shouldn’t concern your pretty, little head. Anyways, how are you, my pumpkin? I missed you so, so much!”

            And there was the infamous death hug. For someone who didn’t work out, Hanji had strong arms that could rival a boxer.

            “Let go of him now, Hanji,” Farlan reminded and the woman released the raven from her grip. “Hey, Lee. I’m glad you’re here.”

            Levi was once more pulled into an embrace but this time, it’s gentler and not bone-crushing. Farlan’s hug also lingered for a few seconds than usual which prompted Levi to wonder what was really happening. However, no one was telling him anything so he let it go. He figured it wasn’t really that important anyway and they probably just thought that tonight was going to be awkward for him because of Eren’s birthday. Joke’s on them, Levi was already perfectly fine. Nothing could faze him.

            Eren still hadn’t arrived, giving the group more time to prepare. Hanji forced everyone to wear the party hats much to Levi’s dismay. The second he wore it, he noticed Farlan sneakily taking pictures of him. The raven would make sure that his friend would never see that phone after tonight. Jean and Connie prepared the party poppers which the former was excited to blast into the birthday boy’s face.

            To be honest, Levi was also feeling excited. He wanted to see how Eren would react when he would see everybody gathered for his birthday. Would his eyes light up in surprise and happiness? It had been a long time since he’d seen him smile genuinely. His smiles were infectious and his natural charm could brighten up the room. He hoped that he could see it all again tonight.

            Armin’s phone buzzed and his big, baby blue eyes widened. “Guys, he’s here!”

            Farlan immediately lit up the candles on the birthday cake and the party popper boys got into position by the stairs. Marco was their lookout downstairs and would “lead” Eren to the group as if he was on duty that night. Everyone cowered behind the long table which really didn’t do much while they waited for Marco.

            They didn’t wait that long and soon, Jean and Connie blasted the poppers and everyone jumped out of the table.

            “Happy birthday, Eren!” everyone shouted in unison.

            Confetti covered their field of vision and they didn’t see the birthday boy for a moment. Once it cleared out, though, Levi’s breath hitched as he saw a clean-shaven Eren in a man bun wearing a white shirt that showed off his muscles. He looked damn good. Much better than the Eren he saw last time. And had the brat even got taller?!

            Jean doubled in laughter at the brunet’s confetti-covered face.

            “What the fuck, Horseface?!” Eren yelled in surprise, glaring at Jean. But when his eyes wandered to the group, his eyes dazzled and the smile that Levi missed was etched on his face. “Hey! You’re all here, wow.”

            Levi couldn’t help but stare at him. What he thought was already behind him came back rushing into him. While he liked Eren for everything he was, the raven couldn’t deny that physical attraction was also a great factor. The younger male was already attractive before and currently, he was even more gorgeous. His body looked toned unlike the last time when he looked like he wasn’t eating, but that man bun was just pure sin. He didn’t know anybody who could pull it off like Eren did.

            The raven’s eyes were glued to the man who was still smiling at them that he failed to see the surroundings. It was only when he heard Hanji mutter an ‘Oh, dear’ that he noticed the blonde hair beside the younger male. Trailing his eyes down, he was met with big blue eyes like Armin’s only lighter. The orbs belonged to a pretty, petite girl who was wearing a white knee-length dress and brown wedge. She had a sunny disposition that matched Eren’s own at the moment. She looked ethereal and captivated everyone’s attention.

            And then, Levi saw it. His own eyes locked into the non-existent space between Eren and the girl. He wasn’t processing any of it at first, but it became clear—the two were holding hands. Eren’s fingers were threaded with the girl’s milky, slender ones and Levi couldn’t draw his eyes away from it. His own hands got clammy as he snapped out of it and watched the pair approach the group who was also in a state of shock.

            “I didn’t expect all of this,” Eren mumbled as he took in the sight of the decorations. “I bet Horseface didn’t do shit and just messed around as usual.”

            “Hey!” Jean called out.

            “Well, since your family can’t make it today, your mom gave us the green light to do all of this,” Armin supplied.

            Eren was still all smiles, seemingly unaware of the curious looks from his friends. The girl gently nudged his side and the brunet realized he hadn’t introduced her to them.

            “Oh! Sorry about that. This is Historia. My…uh… my girlfriend,” Eren revealed, blushing furiously.

            “Hi! It’s nice to meet everyone. I’ve heard lots of stories from Eren,” Historia said, flashing them a mega-watt smile which showed off her dimples.

            Why Levi hadn’t figured it out earlier, he didn’t know. He couldn’t even mull over it at the moment since his mind only focused on that one word. _Girlfriend_. One moment he wasn’t feeling anything and then the next, various emotions overwhelmed him. Confusion, hurt, and jealousy swirled in him and all Levi wanted to do was to get away from them. But he couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, and couldn’t look at Eren anymore. He didn’t even know if the brunet realized he was there. His hands balled into fists at his side and forced himself to act like nothing’s wrong with him. He didn’t want to draw any attention, especially not Eren’s.

            “Since when?” Mikasa asked, gruffly. Even if she was on the opposite side, Levi could feel her fuming from where he stood.

            “The other day, officially. We’ve met at the art show last month and we just hit it off, I guess?” the brunet shrugged.

            Nobody talked for a second until Marco calmly stated that the food might get cold. Everyone took their seats and the raven sat beside Farlan which was fortunately away from Eren and his girlfriend. Farlan snaked a hand on his knee and squeezed it gently, comforting him without making it obvious to the others. Even if Levi never showed his emotions outwardly, his friend seemed to know how he’s doing. The small act made him feel a little better and keep the negative feelings at bay for a while.

            Throughout dinner, Levi didn’t dare to look at Eren and chose to keep his attention solely to the food. Truthfully, he didn’t have an appetite and only pushed himself to eat because that was a better option than sneaking glances at the brunet. He did, however, listen to the stories being told even if they added to the hurt he was already enduring.

            Eren and Historia sounded as if they had already been together for years. They seemed so compatible with each other as they talked about how they met at the gallery and how Eren found out she had the same interests as him. They were in sync and Historia was a natural conversationalist like the brunet. Even if Levi wasn’t looking, he could practically tell that everyone was engrossed in what the girl was saying. She was able to make everyone laugh and accommodate the questions directed at her. She even made an effort to talk to every single one of them like she wanted to get to know everyone better. Yes, even Levi. When she asked him a question about his job, the raven had no choice but to look and answer. Though his eyes remained on the blonde, he could still see Eren just beside her, looking down on his plate. He wondered if the brunet told Historia about him and what happened to them. If he did, she didn’t show it.

            Levi wanted to hate her. He wanted to hate her for being with Eren. He wanted to hate her for being so pretty and likable. But he didn’t and that made things worse for him. Nobody in their right mind could hate Historia. She was like an angel.

            When the time Eren had to open up his presents, Levi wanted to grab his and just pretend that he didn’t give something to the brunet. He should’ve just listened to Mikasa when she said he shouldn’t bother. The birthday boy randomly picked a gift and would open it up and guess who gave it before reading the card. When the raven saw Eren grab his present, Levi started playing the hem of his shirt as he waited what he would think of them.

            “Hm, what’s this? Ooh, face masks! There are paintbrushes and a journal with my name on it, too. Damn, this one knows me so well. I love this. Let me guess… Mikasa?” Eren laughed.

            _Wrong_ , Levi thought as he watched the younger male detach the card from the bag and saw how his eyes widened in shock before finally meeting the older male’s eyes. It was the first time that night that they looked at each other properly and regarded each other’s presences. An awkward silence was shared among the group which was, thankfully, broken by Eren himself.  

            “Levi…” Eren breathed out. “Uh, t-thanks… This is nice. Real nice. Um…”

            Not trusting his own voice, Levi only nodded and went back to staring down at his knees. Armin—bless that boy—urged Eren to get back on opening his presents, dissolving the tension in the room. This went on until every single bag was opened and everyone had a good laugh over the gag gifts and more stories from Eren.

            They reached a downtime which the newest couple took the opportunity to go out in the bistro’s balcony and observed the river illuminated beautifully by the lights from the shops surrounding it. Now that they weren’t in the same room as Levi, he took the chance to look at the couple. They were leaning on the railing side by side and Eren had an arm around Historia’s waist. He knew he should’ve looked away but maybe he was a masochist subconsciously because, even if it was hurting him, Levi still stared. Even when Historia laughed and playfully swatted Eren’s arm. Even when the brunet leaned to kiss the girl on the crown of her head and pulled her closer to him. They looked like lovers from a movie and Levi couldn’t help but yearn for that kind of thing. Comparing it to what he had with Eren, this one he had with Historia was definitely more romantic and breathtaking.

            Eventually, Levi had come to his senses and stopped following the couple’s movements.

            “I’m going to get gelatos for everyone,” he announced and went downstairs to browse the gelato display. Marco’s father manned the stand and suggested he just get different flavors for each of them.

            As the man scooped the gelato into each cup, Levi used the time to reflect. He needed an excuse to get away for a bit while he sorted his thoughts out. The feelings were once again overwhelming him with insecurity creeping up on him. He could never stand a chance with someone as beautiful as Historia. She was bright while he was dull; she was sunshine while he was gloom, and she was sociable while he was a grump and generally hated people. No wonder Eren really liked her.

            He was too busy self-deprecating that he didn’t hear someone coming up behind him.

            “Hey, you okay?” Mikasa cut in his thoughts.

            “I’m fine. You?” he returned, not looking at his cousin.

            “Honestly? No.”

            “You didn’t know about it?” Levi asked and his cousin huffed. Clearly, she didn’t know anything and it had been a shock to her as well.

            “I only learned about her today when Connie showed us her picture together with Eren.”

            Ah, so that’s what Hanji and Farlan were hiding from him earlier. “Are you mad because he didn’t choose you?” Levi teased half-heartedly, smirking to hide his own sadness.

            “I’m angry because he didn’t tell me, not because he didn’t ask me out. And even if he did, I would turn him down. I’m not going to hurt my family,” she said softly and Levi’s swelled. Everyone always said that Mikasa followed Eren like a guard dog and would do anything for him which was true in a way. However, she was more than that and people just didn’t see that she cared for everyone.

            “Thank you,” he said sincerely, giving a small smile to his cousin which she returned.

            “No problem. Besides, I’m already going out with Jean so Eren has no chance with me,” Mikasa added.

            Levi stared at her in disbelief. “You’re shitting me. Horseface? Really?”

            “Don’t call him that,” she hissed. “He’s a nice guy and very hardworking, too.”

            “Here I am thinking you’re one of the wise ones, but you have disappointed me.”

            “Well, your height also disappointed me so there’s that.”

            “That’s it, I’m giving your share to Sasha. Go buy your own gelato,” Levi said, grabbing the tray with the gelato cups and heading back upstairs.

            “Hey! That’s not fair!” Mikasa cried out and followed.

            The raven made a show of giving his cousin’s gelato to Sasha who drooled at the sight of two gelato cups. Mikasa swooped in and glared at Sasha, making the latter cower in fear and handed over her share. No one could intimidate the brunette except Mikasa. Everyone then thanked the raven for the dessert but he avoided looking at anyone in case his eyes wandered to the couple who had just returned from watching the nighttime scenery.

            They didn’t stay long after that and everyone repeated their greetings to Eren except Levi. He kept his distance from the brunet even if he was itching to go and talk to him. All his plans of being friendly again with him went out the window once he learned about the new girlfriend. How cowardly of him.

            When they said their goodbyes, Levi hurried to head back to the hotel. It was such a great decision to get a hotel room rather than stay at Mike’s because that way, he’d never worry about listening in to the muffled noises coming from the couple’s bedroom. He also wouldn’t be envious of Mike and Erwin’s sweet displays of affection. But most importantly, he didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing him cry as the reality sunk in that Eren really was not his anymore and finally found his happiness in another person that wasn't Levi.

           

           

           


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm staring at a broken door  
>  There's nothing left here anymore."_
> 
> \- Monsoon, Tokio Hotel

            “I am a mature adult. I am a mature adult. I am a mature adult.”

            Water dripped on Levi’s face as he repeatedly chanted the words in front of the bathroom mirror in hopes that it would stop him from feeling like shit. They were already back in Sina but the memories of Eren and his new girlfriend still stuck. The brunet looked happy so shouldn’t he also be happy for him? Everybody wanted Eren to get back to his old self and surely, he was getting there. Levi just didn’t understand why he was so worked up over it.

            Just like what he kept reciting over and over again, he was a mature adult who should know when to back down. If he truly was happy for Eren, he should let him be—even if that meant seeing the brunet in someone else’s arms.

            _You’re just jealous because he replaced you_ , a voice in his head mocked.

            “I’m not,” Levi grumbled, glaring at his reflection.

            _Yes, you are. She’s nothing like you. Beautiful and youthful while you’re just old and—_ the raven slapped his cheeks hard that it stung and left light handprints.

            Bringing himself down would only make things worse. Both he and Eren already established that they were over. It should have been clear that at one point in time, they’d find their own happiness; it just so happened that Eren found his before Levi. He shouldn’t think about how Historia was much better than him in all aspects. The brunet was lucky to have someone like her.

            Levi wasn’t going to lie and say that it didn’t hurt because it did. That didn’t mean, though, that he should wallow in self-pity. The sooner he was able to accept the reality, the better. If he really was indeed happy for Eren, he needed to suck it up. The only good thing that came out on their last meeting was that the younger male seemed alright with him being there. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?

            Releasing a heavy sigh, the raven blocked the negative thoughts and focused on positivity. There was no use in crying and the best that he could do was to move on. Who knows, maybe he could even be friends with Eren. Just because they had broken up didn’t mean that Levi’s going to be petty and act like he didn’t know the brunet.

            He ran his hand through his hair as he finally came up with a sensible solution to his problem. He needed to put himself together before he moved back to Maria. He was a better man than this and everyone expected him to approach this responsibly. Levi had never felt this silly before for an ex-boyfriend. Sure, he got a little bit cranky after a break-up but not to the point that he was belittling himself. Now wasn’t the time to do that, either.

            With a clearer mind, he turned the water off and dried his face with a towel. The bags under his eyes were darker and he looked like he hadn’t slept for days. Steeling himself, he decided that starting that night, he’d be taking care of himself better for real. Work was the most important thing he had right now and that’s what he’d be focusing on.

***

            Erwin’s team had finished up their work in Sina and was now fully prepared for their transfer to Maria. They had trained and oriented the people who would be occupying their department to the best of their abilities. For some reason, Erwin let Levi handle the newly-hired ones. There were only four of them, anyway, so he had a nice time instilling in them all he had learned. Technically, he was still new at ZCG but he felt honored to be given that responsibility. Seeing the faces of the new employees reminded him the first time he got in. They all had the same eager and enthusiastic expressions and Levi was sure that they wouldn’t regret being there because he didn’t.

            That was just another realization that he had for a while. Despite all that he went through, he would never regret choosing to work for ZCG. It was the best decision he had even if it cost him a lot. Even if he was presented with other opportunities, he wouldn’t change his mind. Moving to Sina had been an experience for him, too. Living in a more advanced and progressive city taught him to value his time. Because of it, he knew how to discern the most important things to him from those that weren’t. It was also thanks to Erwin that he was able to be comfortable in a new environment. No wonder the big bloke was respected by everyone.

            By the last week of April, Erwin’s team had managed to clear their office out and they were all ready to go to Maria. Levi had already found a place to move in, but he still had to finalize everything when he returned. His current landlady, Mrs. Anderson, was sad to know that he was leaving. The gentle woman always made him cookies and cakes out of sheer boredom. She’d knock in the middle of the day and there she was holding a tray of baked goods. She even helped him pack his bags and kept insisting that he visit her when he had the chance. Levi didn’t have that many acquaintances in Sina but Mrs. Anderson was like a second mother to him. And in a city full of pompous assholes, he was lucky to find someone like her.

            Levi didn’t want to trouble his uncle anymore so he hired a moving company to transport his own stuff. He was crashing for a few days in Farlan’s apartment while he sorted out a few things at the new apartment. Work wasn’t going to officially start until a few more weeks so he had a little bit of downtime. Hanji and Farlan were already planning on giving him a homecoming party when he’s finally situated at his new place. Knowing those two, there’s going to be a lot of food and tons of Hanji’s shitty movies.

            A company car drove them to Maria and one by one, they were dropped off to their destination. Farlan was already waiting outside his building when Levi arrived, wearing a big smile on his face. The raven was immediately enveloped in a tight embrace.

            “Hanji can’t come today because she has duty so I’m tasked to give you one of her hugs,” the sandy blond explained, still clinging to the shorter male just like what their female friend would do.

            “Let go of me!” Levi growled. He really needed to evaluate his choices in friends.

            Farlan only laughed but released him. Shooting his friend a dark look, Levi expressed his need for food since it’s already past noon and they haven’t eaten since they left Sina. They dropped Levi’s bags first and refreshed a little before going to their favorite Chinese restaurant. The place hadn’t changed and a lot of students still go there to eat. Fortunately, the food still tasted good as well.

            They spent an hour or so at the restaurant just catching up and updating about their lives. Farlan was working at a small architectural firm with good pay and enjoyed doing hands-on projects. Just like Levi, he wanted to work at a place where his career would grow and that’s what his current job allowed him to do.

            “I feel so old,” Farlan chuckled.

            “Same here. When did we get so…mature?” Levi wondered aloud and the blond could only shrug in response.

            After they had eaten, they went back to Farlan’s apartment and Levi only realized how it the place was cluttered. He must be really hungry to not notice it earlier. Clicking his tongue, he faced his friend who was unbothered by the mess and said, “This place is a sty.”

            “Hey, I spent so much time cleaning! I just can’t find a good place to store some of them,” he said guiltily. “Besides, no one can really match your cleaning skills.”

            “Eren does,” Levi huffed.

            The raven suddenly realized what he said and instantly looked away from the curious look of Farlan. Well, it’s not like he was lying; Eren’s cleaning vastly improved when they were together. Levi just didn’t know why he talked about the brunet as if he knew what he was like now. For all he knew, Eren was a slob.

            “I’m going to go change,” Levi announced and went to the bedroom to put on more comfy clothing. He wanted to relax and laze around. Erwin had given them a week off to familiarize and acquaint themselves with Maria life. That wasn’t a problem for Levi and so, he wanted to use the time to sleep and spend some time with friends.

            When he went out to the living room, Farlan was watching TV and the raven decided to join him. It had been ages since he last did a simple pastime with someone else. The past months he had been alone in Sina with no one to share both the warm and cold nights. It was his decision to not have anyone but he couldn’t deny that he missed the feeling of having someone.

            “Did you date anyone while you were in Sina, Levi?” Farlan suddenly asked.

            “No, why?” he answered.

            “Really? Not even once?”

            “None. Although, there’s a guy I met in a bar months ago but I didn’t go through with it and there’s one guy from work who I turned down.”

            “Why?” Farlan asked quizzically. “What about your needs?”

            Levi felt his face flush and had a sudden urge to smack the blond. He didn’t know why he was getting embarrassed since he wasn’t a prude and he and Farlan had done unspeakable things before. Maybe this was a result of being alone and only his hands to accompany him with.

            “I take care of those myself,” the raven answered between gritted teeth.

            “Wow, what happened to you? You didn’t meet someone who’s worthy of your time?”

            _No, I didn’t because Eren happened_ was what Levi wanted to say but kept his mouth shut. He only grunted in return and hoped that his friend would also shut up or else he’d really hit him. Thankfully, no questions followed after that and they resumed watching the crime show.

            They had been so engrossed in watching that they didn’t realize how late it was already. Dinner had been long forgotten and they weren’t hungry, anyway. Exhaustion started to take over Levi and all he wanted was to curl up on the bed and sleep. Yawns came out from both men and they decided to call it a night.

            As they both trooped into the bedroom, Levi seemed to have forgotten that they were sleeping in one bed. He blamed his tiredness for not realizing it earlier. For so long, he was accustomed in sleeping alone that he forgot what it was like to be laying on the same bed with another person. Farlan was already under the covers while the raven only stood at the foot of the bed with a furrow on his brows.

            “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you don’t approve of the colors of the sheets?” the blond joked.

            “It’s not that. It’s just…” Levi trailed, thinking of the right things to say. “Maybe I should sleep on the couch.”

            Farlan snorted. “What are you saying? You hate sleeping on that thing.”

            True, he hated the couch and had been pestering Farlan to buy a new one. He couldn’t voice out his concern so he also got under the covers and pretend that he wasn’t nervous about sharing the bed. He did, however, turned his back on the blond and closed his eyes.

            There was stillness for a moment and Levi thought that Farlan was already asleep. However, he tensed when the other’s arm draped on his chest followed by the body pressing to his back. The breath on his shoulder sent shivers down his spine and Levi didn’t know whether to push Farlan away or not. He wasn’t a stranger to him and they’d done this before. They were both single and was free to do anything without any hindrance. On the other hand, there was something holding him back from doing this.

            Before he could think more about the situation, Farlan turned him on his back and straddled him. Levi’s eyes went wide as the alarms went off in his head. He desperately wanted to say something but he didn’t know what. He was confused with the thoughts going through his head and Farlan sitting dangerously close to his crotch was not making things any better. What was holding him back? This could be his chance to get back on what he was used to before. This could even help him free his mind.

            Farlan placed his hands underneath Levi’s shirt and started running them on his sides. The raven closed his eyes tightly and willed himself to get lost on the touches but he couldn’t. What was once comfortable was now awkward and unnerving like it wasn’t right. Like the hands didn’t belong to the right person. When he felt those hands clutch on the waistband of his pajama pants, Levi’s eyes shot open and immediately grabbed Farlan’s wrists to yank them off of him.

            “Farlan, I-I can’t,” he whispered, his eyes conveying his fear. His heart was thumping so loud, it was the only thing that Levi can hear.

            The blond looked surprised which dissolved into a knowing smile. He returned to his side of the bed and placed a pillow between them. “Sorry, Lee,” Farlan apologized sincerely.

            Levi turned his back again to Farlan and pulled up the covers. There had been a time when what they do was just a normal way to de-stress and relieve tension. Now, it felt wrong.

            “I knew it,” Farlan spoke up again, lightly chuckling.

            “What? Why are you laughing?” Levi asked, baffled.

            “He really has changed you, hasn’t he?”

            He could ignore the question if he liked. He could ask who he was talking about. He could deny that it wasn’t that person but that would make him a liar. Farlan knew that Levi knew who he was referring to. There was no one else that made such an impact on his life and affected his views and beliefs. His silence was already an answer to the question and Farlan laughed quietly.

            “I was just testing you, you know. It bothered me when you said you haven’t gone on a date even once and I just had to find out if my suspicions were true.”

            Levi’s anger flared up, grabbed the pillow between them, and hit the asshole in the face. “What the fuck?! Can’t you just ask me like a normal person?”

            “I know you’re not going to answer me directly and I needed to find a different way to get it out of you,” he explained.

            “I’m going to skin you alive, you pervy shitface,” the raven threatened and proceeded to hit him again with the pillow.

            “I said I’m sorry!” the blond cried but still laughing.

            With one last strong hit in the other’s face, Levi placed the pillow back between them and lay down again. Farlan was a great friend but he was also devious. While Hanji would bug him to death just so he would talk about his feelings, Farlan would take a craftier road in order to get him to talk. Eerily, he reminded him of Erwin who was also a cunning one.

            “I understand if you still have feelings for him. No one can blame you for that,” his friend assured.

            “I don’t,” Levi answered in a harsher tone than intended.

            “Levi, you can be honest with me.”

            “I said I don’t, okay? We’ve both already moved on. He has a new girlfriend and I have my own work to focus on. I don’t have any time for that.” Levi cleared, wanting to end the topic already. He heard the blond sigh on the other side of the bed.

            “Alright, then,” Farlan relented.

            Silence fell upon them and Levi was glad for it. Soon enough, he heard the light snores coming from his roommate, leaving him in his own thoughts.

            Levi thought that whatever he was feeling towards Eren right now was just remnants of the past. It didn’t mean anything and it was just a normal to be this way. He knew he couldn’t just erase what he had for him but that didn’t give him a reason to assume that these feelings were still the same. Over and over, he kept repeating in his mind that they were already over. These feelings didn’t mean anything and he was sure that it will all pass by.

            He tried to go to sleep but he found it hard to do so when he was well aware of another person just on the other side. Even if he knew it was only Farlan, it didn’t sit well with him. That’s when other thoughts betray him and let him think about a warmer body pressed against him, nuzzling his neck and would leave gentle kisses. He could feel his body relax and eyes flutter closed as he thought more of the warm person now running their fingers through his hair. Levi was drifting off but not before he heard the honeyed voice whisper in his ear.

            _“I love you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is so short! I'll make it up to you guys next chapter!
> 
> Levi's in denial, isn't he?


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Started out as a feeling  
>  But the feeling it started to grow  
> I get stuck in the meaning  
> And the answers beyond my control."_
> 
> \- Surrender, The Used

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so, sorry for not updating this sooner! I had a lot of things to do and then I hit a brief writing slump but here I am! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter!

           Levi ended up staying at Farlan’s for another three days. He had long since forgiven him for the stunt he pulled, but not until after he made him clean his apartment up to his standards. There was a lot of whining coming from the architect but the raven only ignored them. It’s safe to say that pranking Levi wouldn’t happen any time soon.

            While Farlan went to work, Levi went to his new apartment to sign the lease. It was a modern two-bedroom located in one of the more elegant parts of Maria, much bigger than his old spaces. Getting it was a dream come true and made possible with his salary with ZCG. He’d never admit to anyone the real reason he got it, though. He kept telling himself over and over again that he only wanted the two-bedroom apartment in case his mother or his friends decided to stay over, not because there was a tiny part of him that hoped it was going to be used as a small art studio for a certain someone. Every time that thought kept popping up, Levi would immediately quash it because it was nonsense and impossible to happen.

            When all of his things were moved in and put to their places, Levi felt proud of achieving a new milestone. Granted, he still needed to buy a few appliances and furniture, but overall, he was happy that he was able to get the place before others could do.

            Of course, when Hanji caught wind of the news that he was finally settled in his new apartment, she immediately called him and invited herself over the weekend. It was one of those rare Saturdays when most of their friends were busy and couldn’t go to dinner. Levi felt relieved when he heard about it as he wasn’t prepared to face Eren and his lovey-dovey actions with his girlfriend. So when his crazy friend showed up at his door with several bags on hand, he let her in.

            Hanji whistled as she looked around Levi’s apartment. “Dang, Levi! Your place is banging!”

            “Stop talking like a hipster. It doesn’t suit you,” the raven commented.

            Hanji being Hanji, she immediately toured herself around the place after dropping the bags on the kitchen table. Levi could hear her squeaks and gasps as she opened one door to another. He didn’t know why she was so impressed with everything—it was just an apartment, after all. The brunette emerged to the living room a few minutes and enveloped the raven in her arms.

            “I’m so, so proud of you,” she said. “I know you always dreamed of moving into a nice place like this and now, you’ve already done that.”

            “That’s because they pay me better right now, four-eyes,” Levi stated.

            “Imagine if you earned this much earlier. You might already have a house of your own!”

            He froze as soon as she finished her sentence. It was amazing how innocent words could awaken the memories he tried hard to suppress. Those pesky ‘what if’ questions popped up and clouded his mind.

            What if he really did pursue his dreams like he originally planned? What if he followed his head instead of his heart? What if he never got together with Eren in the first place? What if he never opened his heart and stayed like the old Levi who kept people at an arm’s length?

            Levi knew he could’ve been so much more, but despite all of it, he would never be able to regret what he had chosen. He would never regret knowing Eren. He would never regret loving Eren because, ultimately, he had become a better person. He learned more about himself during the time he was in a relationship with the younger male. And even if things were strained between them currently, Levi still held a soft spot for him which he hated.

            Hanji noticed how he went quiet all of a sudden and stared off into space. “Levi? You okay there, buddy?”

            “Uh, yeah. Sorry. Just thinking about work,” he said, making an excuse he knew his friend wouldn’t believe. “And even if I was earning this much from the start, you know I would’ve given it to my mother.”

            “Aww! That’s so sweet! Why don’t you give me that kind of affection? Come here, give Mama Hanji a kiss!” The brunette made a move to come closer to Levi again, puckering her lips.

            “Fuck off!” Levi hissed, darting away from the woman as far away as possible.

            Hanji was chasing him around the apartment for half an hour when the door opened and Farlan came in with beers in hand.

            “Heard there’s a party so here I am!” the blond announced. He stopped for a moment to observe his friends running around, with Hanji squealing and Levi holding a spatula to fend off the brunette. He could only shake his head and proceeded to put down the drinks.

            Eventually, Hanji and Levi got tired and slumped down on the couch together with Farlan. He would never outright admit it but the raven missed the feeling of having both of them around. It was a welcoming feeling after months of not having this kind of moment back in Sina. They raised and clinked their cans before chugging them down.

            “So what should we watch?” Farlan asked. He laid down the selection of DVDs in the coffee table.

            “Ooh! We should totally watch this!” Hanji said, picking a horror movie.

            Levi snatched it from her hands and glared at her. “For the love of all things holy, never pick a horror film when you’re at my place. Remember when you spilled grape juice on my couch after a jumpscare?”

             “But Leviiii!”

            “No.”

            Thankfully, she didn’t pursue it further and stayed quiet. They ended up watching a rom-com and an action movie while munching on junk food which Hanji bought. Levi savored their reunion quietly while the other two were laughing and exchanging stories. He was pretty much satisfied with just listening, but, he knew at some point that the spotlight would shine on him.

            “So, Levi,” the bespectacled woman started, “aside from your hunk of a boss, are there any other hotties roaming around the office?”

            The raven narrowed his eyes at her. “Why’d you wanna know?”

            “Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you haven’t met anyone at work or anyone at all in Sina?!”

            “I went there to work, shit specs. Not chase guys’ asses.”

            “I don’t believe you,” she huffed. “I’m sure there are lots of handsome guys over there.”

            Levi could only roll his eyes. “I really wasn’t looking for a relationship or even a one-night stand. Although, there’s one guy at the office who asked me out on Valentine’s. I turned him down, though.”

            “What?! Why?!” Hanji shot up from her seat.

            He shrugged. “I told you, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Besides, even if I were, I was already told I’m transferring here. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain.”

            “Or,” Farlan piped up, “Levi didn’t want to because he only wants one person all this time.”

            If only looks could kill, Farlan would’ve been dead thousand times over that he had no chances of being reborn for the next lifetimes with the way Levi glared at him. The cheeky grin on the architect’s face made his blood boil even more.

            “Ooh, so juicy! Tell me, pumpkin. Is that guy a tall, brown-haired boy with jewels for eyes and rock hard abs?” Hanji asked, eyes shining with curiosity and impishness.

            “How many times do I have to tell you that I’ve already moved on? We’ve  _both_  moved on if Eren having a girlfriend isn’t clear enough for you.”

            “But are you really?” Farlan challenged. “It’s really fine if you still like him. I mean, I’ll never forget the things he said to you, but he’s not like that now.”

            “Yeah, Farlan’s right. Eren’s also doing yoga and meditation and all that,” Hanji supplied.

            Levi released an exasperated sigh. “I am over him. We’ve already talked and cleared things out. He has his own life and I have mine,” he answered with conviction. “And since when did Eren and meditation fit into one sentence?”

            As far as he knew, Eren never had the patience for those kinds of things. He’d choose painting and basketball over yoga and meditation when it came to focusing on his mindset. So, hearing that he’s resorting to these methods came as a shock to him.

            “It’s true! Armin told us Historia’s the reason why Eren started it.”

            “Oh. That’s good then,” was the only thing Levi could say. He should’ve figured it out. Eren would never do yoga on his own volition. Getting him to do it was all thanks to his girlfriend’s thoughtfulness. Something Levi had never done because he never thought that the brunet needed another outlet aside from arts and sports. He always thought that he took care of Eren, but he was slowly realizing that maybe he hadn’t really given him enough.

            “Hmm, if you’re so sure that you’re already over Eren, then that means we can set you up with someone!” Hanji exclaimed, beaming widely.

            “That’s a great idea, Hanji!” Farlan seconded and Levi was on the verge of kicking his friends out of his apartment.

            “That’s a shitty idea,” he remarked as he stood up to tidy the coffee table which was full of empty cans and bags of chips. “I’m not interested in that.”

            Farlan snorted. “Because you’re still waiting for Eren?”

            “If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove all of these in your mouth that you’ll be shitting aluminum and plastic for a month.”

            Maybe he really did something bad in his past life because his friends only laughed at him, making him even more annoyed. He knew they were challenging him because they didn’t believe him. He would need new friends as soon as possible.

            “What’s wrong with blind dates, Levi? You’re single and already moved on from your ex. There’s nothing stopping you from trying. How many months have you been single, anyway? Close to a year?” Farlan asked.

            “So what?” the raven snapped.

            “So you need to go out more!” Hanji stated. “Honestly, you should meet people and have fun before you get old. You’re not getting any younger, you know.”

            “Ugh, fine! Do whatever you want!” He threw his trash-filled hands in the air as he succumbed to peer pressure. He couldn’t win against those two without losing a chunk of his lifespan. “Just give me time to settle down at work before I participate in your experiments.”

            “It’s not an experiment, it’s a blind date. And I promise I’m not going to set you up with a serial killer.”

            “You better don’t or else I’m going to murder you in your sleep,” Levi grumbled.

            The topic was dropped and changed to less intrusive ones. Maybe his friends were right and it’s the right time to scope the market out again. Maybe this was the push he needed to break out of the dating funk he was in. It was only when Farlan mentioned did he realize that he really was out of the scene for almost a year. There were few attempts, but he immediately backed out before it could even begin. He was holding back and wasn’t sure why. It’s as if his need for any physical or emotional connection with anybody died after Eren. But now, his friends were giving him a jumpstart into the dating scene again. He just hoped that whoever they meet him up with was someone who was in it for the long run.

            When Farlan and Hanji left, Levi felt the joy also left with them. He might have a new, spacious apartment but it lacked life. Being alone in it made him hope that it wouldn’t be that way for long soon.

***

            Levi thought that working back in Maria was going to be weird, but it even made him appreciate the place more. When he worked for Nile, he was always cooped in the office, hardly getting out. But Erwin was a staunch advocate of working with clients personally to get a better understanding of how their businesses work. Because of it, Levi learned how to improve his social skills even just a little.

            He also had a newfound appreciation for his boss due to his ability to multitask without looking like being stomped by elephants. Erwin was juggling work and planning his wedding which was already happening in the summer. If Levi was in his shoes, the raven would probably be even grumpier and ready to destroy those who disturb him. He could only conclude that Erwin Smith was an alien because no normal person could be as fully composed as him.

            Levi’s first week back was very productive and wasn’t at all bothered by the amount of work to be done. That’s why when Hanji announced that their Saturday dinner was on, he was feeling confident and in much need of company.

            Everyone was already at the bistro when he arrived. Sasha and Connie were already munching on appetizers while Mikasa and Jean were quietly conversing. It’s nice to see his cousin warming up to someone. She had always been tagged as cold like him or maybe it’s just an Ackerman thing. On the other hand, Hanji was squeezing the hell out of Armin’s cheeks while proclaiming her love for biology. The poor blond looked like he was about to piss his pants in fear, but thankfully, Moblit unlatched her from him. However, the most surprising thing Levi saw was Farlan and Eren laughing together. Since when did they become so close?

            “PUMPKIN!” Hanji yelled, getting out of her seat. She tried to hug Levi but the raven pinched her nose before she could wrap her arms around him. “Ow! Such a meanie!”

            He rolled his eyes at her and sat down at the available seat which was right in front of Farlan. The architect waved at him and Eren, who turned to look at him, flashed him a small smile. The little gesture suddenly made his heart flutter against his will. Even more so when Levi noticed that Historia wasn’t present. Eren’s gaze pierced through him and he could feel the blush threatening to break out on his face. Before he could do anything stupid, the raven just nodded and looked away from the brunet.

            From the other end of the table, Hanji caught the attention of everybody by tapping a spoon against her glass.

            “Everyone, I’d like to invite you all to raise your glasses for our resident grumpy pants who is now permanently back in Maria! A toast to him for good luck and wealth which I believe he should share to us. May he also find a guy who’s gonna remove that stick up his ass!”

            The horrible toast speech earned laughs from most and a glower from Levi. “I’m going to drown you in the river,” he warned.

            The crazy scientist just chortled at the empty threat. “Welcome back, Levi! Cheers!”

            A resounding ‘Cheers!’ came from the rest of the group except Eren who was looking down at his lap. It was hard not to notice the younger male when he was in his field of vision. Everyone was in high spirits but Eren was noticeably quiet after the toast. Did something happen?

            Levi kept a tab on him throughout dinner and he observed how Eren’s mood fluctuated. There were times when he was happy participating in the discussions and then he’d stay quiet for a while. While everyone around him was chattering, he’d just eat quietly and not looking at anyone. Levi was a little bit concerned since he wasn’t used to seeing Eren like this. Before, the young man was always full of life and was up for anything. Now, he looked like he’s distancing himself. No one seemed to notice or care and it irked the raven. Eren was a different person and only he could see it. Yet, he kept his mouth shut since he didn’t know how to approach the issue without making it awkward for both of them.

            As the night ended, Eren seemed to return to his normal jovial self. Maybe he wasn’t just feeling well or he had a fight with his girlfriend. Whatever the reason was, Levi wished he wouldn’t look sad most of the time. It shocked him, though, when the brunet spoke to him when he was about to leave. Somebody tapped his shoulder and he came face to face with a nervous-looking Eren.

            “Um, hey, Levi,” Eren said, looking down at his feet when their eyes met.

            “Eren,” the older male muttered awkwardly. They’d never talked properly ever since their meeting at the café. There was nothing to talk about so why was he in front of him?

            “Yeah, so here’s the thing. It’s Mom and Dad’s wedding anniversary on Saturday next week and they’re renting out a lake house in Orvud with Izzy…” he started to explain.

            Levi had no idea where he was going with it so he raised an eyebrow and waited for the younger male to continue.

            “And they—well, Izzy—asked me to invite you over for dinner? I mean, if you’re free, of course…” Eren mumbled.

            The older male stood stiffly as he processed what he said. Wasn’t it going to be awkward for him to be there? He’s Eren’s ex! Why should he be there?

            The hesitation must be clear on his face as the brunet tried to convince him. “Izzy keeps bothering me to invite you. She’s even told my parents and they agreed. I guess she really wants to see you… and she misses you, too.”

            The way Eren’s voice went soft with the last sentence made him wonder if there’s another message hidden beneath it or just wishful thinking on his part. The brunet was starting to get red in the face which didn’t help his situation.

            “I don’t want to intrude. It’s a family affair, after all,” Levi replied.

            “You’re not going to intrude, I swear!” the brunet declared. “They really want you to be there! Besides, Mikasa and Armin are coming so it’s not going to be awkward.”

            “But your girlfriend… Won’t she get angry or something?”

            Eren looked sheepish. “Ah, Historia has debate training so she couldn’t come. She also knows you’re invited and it’s fine with her so you don’t have to worry about that.”

            The most logical thing to do in this situation is to decline. No one in the right mind would go to an ex’s family affair, especially when said ex already had a loving girlfriend. Not even if the girlfriend trusted him. Declining was a sign of respect and Levi should just say no and leave.

            But maybe he wasn’t right in the head. Maybe his rationality left him when he became friends with Hanji. Maybe he was hoping for something to happen because he found himself accepting the invitation. When he agreed, Eren’s eyes lit up and his lips broke into a smile. A genuine smile that sent his heart racing. It had been so long since it was directed at him that he forgot how blinding it was and how it made him feel warm all over.

            Levi was in a daze after that even as he returned to his apartment. The image of Eren smiling was stuck in his mind. He felt like a loser for being affected by it. It was as if the universe was teasing him and testing his willpower. But he couldn’t back down now, could he? It wasn’t a big deal, anyway. He was just going there because he knew how Izzy could be demanding. If it weren’t for her, Eren wouldn’t go out of the way and invite Levi to his parents’ anniversary. He wasn’t part of it anymore.

            Levi ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He hated himself for being too soft when it came to Eren. Damn brat with the puppy look. No one was safe from those big, emerald eyes. With one last heavy sigh, he trudged into the bedroom and fell face first on the bed. Just before he went to sleep, he wished that one day, he wouldn’t be affected by Eren so that his feelings wouldn’t go into a haywire every time the brunet would simply smile at him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"'Cause it's you and me and all of the people  
>  With nothing to do, nothing to lose  
> And it's you and me and all other people  
> And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you."_
> 
> \- You and Me, Lifehouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter and I know you all want them to see them together.

           Choosing an outfit for Eren’s parents’ wedding anniversary was proving to be more difficult than choosing what to wear for work. Mikasa and Armin were already en route to his apartment and Levi was still wearing a towel on his hips while half of his wardrobe was strewn across the bed. Why did he even agree to this in the first place again? Oh, yeah, because Eren asked him and he couldn’t say no. More so when Armin offered to drive him and Mikasa.

            Levi rubbed his face in frustration. He reminded himself that Eren only invited him because of his sister. It didn’t mean that Eren himself wanted him to be there… did he? His cheeks reddened slightly at the thought. Was the younger male also anxious about seeing him? Or was it only Levi who felt that way? Why was he feeling like this? Eren had a girlfriend, for fuck’s sake.

            Stomping down on the foolish feelings and recognizing the need to hurry up, Levi picked the simplest outfit from the mess on the bed. A simple, crisp, white button-down and a pair of khakis seemed to do the job. He couldn’t go wrong with the outfit unless he would spill his drink or food. Levi had half a mind to change into something else but his phone lit up, showing Mikasa’s contact picture. They were already waiting in front of the building and he cursed softly. There was no time to have self-doubts. Slipping on his brown boat shoes, he quickly grabbed his valuables before heading down.

            The air had a slight chill in it as the sun was starting to set. The light bathed the buildings in a golden hue and the scenery made Levi feel relaxed. His new neighborhood was really a big improvement from before, much peaceful and comfortable. He made his way to Armin’s car across his apartment building and chanced upon the blond singing while tapping on the wheel. Mikasa was on the backseat busy with her phone and most probably texting Jean. Levi lightly knocked on the passenger seat window to get the driver’s attention. Armin flashed him a bright smile and unlocked the car for Levi.

            “Hi, Levi!” the blond greeted.           

            “Hey, coconut,” the raven replied, nodding at the younger male. He turned to look at Mikasa but the girl was still tapping away on his phone. Her face looked impassive at first glance, but Levi could see how her eyes lit up at the message she’s composing.

            “You know, Mikasa, if you miss Horseface so much, why didn’t you just bring him along?” Levi smirked.

            “Fuck you,” she answered without a hint of anger. “He wasn’t invited.”

            He let her be after that and began carrying a casual conversation with Armin as they drove to Orvud. The streets became less busy as they approached the small town. When they passed Mike’s house, Levi saw two cars parked in front and smiled a bit. He was happy and jealous of Erwin at the same time. After years of being far away from each other, he was now living with his partner and soon-to-be husband. Levi dared to think that if things had gone differently for him, he would also be in the same situation as Erwin more or less. He might not be engaged, but there would have been at least someone who was happy to see him return. Loneliness started to creep into him and the what if questions flooded his mind again. Usually, he was good at controlling the thoughts but there were days when he couldn’t stop the onslaught. Luckily, he was brought out of it when the car stopped and Armin announced that they had arrived.

            The Jaegers rented two-storyey lake house with high windows and partly covered by trees, giving the place a private feel to it. As they got out of the car, the raven brushed off the imaginary dust and straightened his shirt. Now that they were there, his nerves began acting up again. He let his companions go first and lead the way. He was already thinking that the night would get awkward.

            They were already almost at the door when it suddenly opened and a big blur of red suddenly smothered him. The thing clutched on him like a lifeline and Levi was shocked and confused about the situation. He was about to tear it off her when a voice spoke up.

            “Big bro!”

            “Isabel?”

            The big blur suddenly came into focus when it stood in front of him. Isabel had the biggest smile on her face and her big, green eyes shone brightly. She really looked like Eren except her hair was now a fiery red.

            “Oh, you finally dyed your hair,” Levi commented, pointing at her hair in pigtails.

            “Yeah, just after Christmas!” she stated. “Do you like it?”

            Levi smiled at the pure happiness on Isabel’s face. “Yes. It brings your eyes out even more.”

            Isabel giggled at that and grabbed his wrist as they finally entered the house. For a moment, he forgot his anxiety about meeting his ex-boyfriend’s parents and marveled at the interior of the house. Isabel dragged him around and kept telling him stories about school and her friends. The Jaegers really did have the power to make people comfortable. Except maybe Grisha since he was a few words kind of guy.  The younger Jaeger made the three sit down on the couch and served them drinks. She was in the middle of talking when Levi noticed something about her.

            “You still have that necklace,” he said, eyeing the gold necklace on her neck.

            “Hm? Oh! Of course, I do! Silly big bro. You gave this to me when you came to Shiganshina before. It’s important to me and it’s the only thing I have of you when you and Eren broke up. Why wouldn’t I wear it?” Isabel looked at him puzzlingly as if he asked a stupid question.

            Levi was dumbfounded at her answer. It had been too long and too much had happened, yet Isabel hadn’t forget about him and the little things they shared for the brief time they saw each other. He remembered the joy erupting on the girl’s face as he bought the sparrow necklace for her. Then, he remembered the key he gave to Eren. The brunet had always worn it after Levi gave it to him, even wearing it to sleep. Had he already thrown it away? Probably, since he didn’t see Eren wearing anything on his neck. The thought of him throwing something which Levi considered important to him was heart-wrenching. As he said before to Eren—even if it was cliché and cringey as hell—it was a key to his heart and happiness. If it was indeed thrown away, it only meant that he wasn’t important to him as he once believed.

            His demotivating train of thought was cut off when he heard footsteps going down the stairs. Grisha and Carla were hand in hand as they descended. They were quietly chuckling and then Carla gasped as she saw their visitors. Immediately, she went over to Mikasa and Armin giving them a kiss on their cheeks. Levi stood behind and waited nervously to be acknowledged. He expected a curt greeting, but what he received was a tight hug from her.

            “Levi, it’s good to see you again,” Carla said after releasing him. “How’s your mother?”

            “It’s nice to see you again, too, Mrs. Jaeger. My mom’s alright. She keeps telling me how delicious your recipes are.”

            “That’s nice to hear, although, you probably need those more,” she stated, raising an eyebrow as she took in the sight of Levi. “You thinned down! Are you eating properly? Does your mother know this? She’ll be angry if she sees you!”

            Her concern left him flustered and speechless. It felt like his own mother was lecturing him. It was one of the reasons why Levi liked Eren’s mother. They were both alike in so many ways and Carla never made him feel like he was an outsider even now that Levi wasn’t in a relationship with her son. She still looked at him the same as before like he and Eren never had a fallout.

            “Now, now, Carla. Don’t scare him,” Grisha reminded and looked at Levi with kind eyes and warm smile. “Hello, Levi.”

            The raven outstretched his hand. “Mr. Jaeger. Thank you for welcoming me tonight and happy anniversary to you both.”

            Grisha chuckled. “Why so formal? You’re always welcome, Levi. Isabel was elated when she found we’ll be coming over here to celebrate our anniversary. When she learned that you were also in Maria, she never stopped hounding us to invite you.”

            “If we didn’t know any better, we’d think she has a crush on you,” Carla interjected.

            “Mom! Levi is my big bro and only that!” Isabel cried.

            The raven heard Mikasa snort at the words ‘big bro’ and shot her a glare. If only they weren’t in front of Eren’s parents, he’d give her a piece of his mind.

            “I’m going to finish up in the kitchen, so you just stay comfortable, alright? Mikasa, Isabel, I need your help in cooking,” Carla announced. The two girls nodded and headed off to the kitchen.

            “I can help, too, Mrs. Jaeger,” Levi said, even if he knew that the only thing he could help in was mixing things and setting the plates.

            “Nonsense! You stay right here with the boys. Speaking of, has Eren gone down?”

            “Not yet, Mrs. Jaeger,” Armin answered.

            The woman shook her head. “That boy. Can you call him down, Armin? He’s been holing himself up again.”

            Armin immediately went up to look for the brunet and Carla left Grisha and Levi alone on their own. Unlike Carla, Grisha was a quiet man and he was hard to read at times. It made it hard for Levi to know how to act around the man. When he got up and disappeared into the kitchen, the raven thought the man didn’t like to be around him. But Grisha appeared seconds later, holding a bottle of wine and two glasses.

            “Care to join me in the deck? The view’s really good out there.”

            Levi had no choice but to follow the man to the deck. The view was indeed good as promised, with the calm lake below and the tall trees surrounding it. Levi could see other houses, some occupied and some not. The silence in the area was also a welcomed change from the city noise he was accustomed to. He would like to have this once in a while when he wanted a break from his usual routine. Grisha sat down in one of the chairs and motioned for Levi to sit on the other. He then poured wine on the glasses and gave one to the raven.

            “Thank you,” Levi muttered quietly before taking a tentative sip.

            “How’s work? I heard you’re now back in Maria,” the older male opened up.

            “It’s great, thank you for asking. We’ve only officially started last week so everything is still on the low, so to speak.”

            “Going back to Maria didn’t cause any problems?” Grisha inquired.

            Levi felt it was a trick question and he stayed quiet as he thought on how to answer it. “It was hard at first,” he admitted, “but I managed. After all, I have always wanted to get out of there and see the opportunities elsewhere.”

            Grisha hummed in response. “Sina is a really great place. I’ve worked there for a while before and they have always been advanced in a lot of things. However, nothing beats the feeling of being in the place where everything you love is found.”

            The raven couldn’t help but agree. Sina was indeed a place for all those who aspire to work in a progressive place, but coming back to Maria wasn’t so bad. Admittedly, his only problem on coming back was Eren. Levi was fine with the other stuff.

            “Eren’s not doing anything stupid, isn’t he?” the brunet’s father asked.

            “Not that I know of. We don’t talk to each other anymore so I wouldn’t know. May I ask why?” Levi was curious. He really didn’t know anything about Eren anymore as if he was a complete stranger. His mother’s earlier words also piqued his curiosity about the brunet holing himself again. He was acting very differently from the Eren he used to know.

            Grisha deeply sighed before answering, “I don’t know what’s going on with him. When he came home for Christmas, he spent most of the time in his room. I also noticed he’s not in his usual state.”

            “Maybe Armin can answer that… or his girlfriend,” Levi replied, lowering his voice at the end.

            “Ah, yes. It’s unfortunate we couldn’t meet her tonight, but let’s not talk about people who aren’t present, shall we? Tell me more about your work instead. Is it better than the last one you had?” the patriarch urged.

            Levi never felt more grateful for the change of topic. He proceeded to tell him all about his work, the company, and even Erwin. He never imagined sharing all of it so easily, let alone to Eren’s father. The older man also listened intently and asked more questions along the way which made the raven wonder if Grisha was only forced to hold this conversation or he was really interested in what he had to say. But the elder surprised him when he in turn relayed his own daily work experiences and shared a few funny anecdotes from his job. He also reminded Levi to always be careful and prioritize his health.

            Spending time with his ex’s father should’ve been awkward but Levi felt as if he was talking to his own father with the way Grisha imparted wise words. Not that he knew what it really felt like since he never experienced bonding with his biological father. But the Jaegers certainly treated him like he was a part of their family just like with Armin and Mikasa. He might not be together with Eren anymore but nothing had changed with their behavior towards him and Levi hoped it would stay the same in the future.

            Footsteps interrupted their conversation and Carla popped out from the shadows. “There you are! Dinner’s ready, boys.”

            The three went back inside and Levi’s mouth watered at the aroma of the delicious food spread on the table. Even if there were only seven of them, Carla had gone all out again with her cooking and Levi doubt they’d be able to finish them.

            “Has anyone seen Eren?” Carla suddenly asked, looking around for her son. Indeed, Eren was nowhere to be found.

            “I think he’s gone down to the lake for a bit,” Armin explained as he entered the dining room carrying a big pot.

            “I still don’t understand why he’s acting like this,” the woman sighed heavily. She turned to look at Levi and gave him a tired smile. “Levi, would you be a dear and call him to dinner, please?”

            “Um, okay,” the raven scratched his head and proceeded to go outside.

            Levi welcomed the silence of the night as he made his way down to the lake to call the brunet in question. Eren’s parents were worried about him and he couldn’t help but feel the same, too. He wasn’t the only one who noticed the drastic change in his attitude and he wanted to help him in any way that he can.

            The raven found Eren standing at the end of the lake deck just staring into the horizon with hands in his pockets. As Levi neared him, he could see Eren sporting a low ponytail which was softly moving with the breeze. Even with the chilly air, the brunet didn’t look cold even if his sleeves were rolled up. Everything was so quiet, it was making him anxious. He made as little noise as possible as he approached the younger male.

            “Eren?” Levi half-whispered, breaking the stillness around him.

            The brunet slowly turned to face him, eyes briefly widening as he realized it was Levi who called him. Both stared as they drank the appearances of each other in the dimly lit environment. Levi couldn’t deny that he looked good but he knew Eren would be even more attractive when he’s back to his jovial self. He suddenly realized no one was talking so he had to break the tension.

            “Your mom told me to get you. Dinner’s ready.”

            “Okay,” Eren simply said. But instead of walking back to the house, the younger male returned to facing the horizon.

            Levi’s eyebrows knitted together in worry. “Is there something wrong?” he couldn’t resist asking.

            “No, I’m fine.”

            The raven was having none of that. He had to do something to break Eren out of the funk he’s in. He couldn’t bear to see him in his current state. Gathering his courage, he walked right up to the tall male and held a stern gaze at the back of Eren’s head.

            “Clearly, you’re not,” Levi bravely pointed out.

            Eren turned around again to fully face the shorter male who didn’t waver from the intensity of the emerald eyes looking at him. Levi couldn’t decipher anything in the brunet’s stoic expression. The younger male was easy to read before as he always wore his emotions on his sleeve, but right now, not a single thing can be uncovered from it. No anger, no sadness. Just blank.

            “Why do you say that?” Eren asked curiously.

            “You’re different. I keep noticing your moods quickly changing at times. One minute, you’re happy talking to everybody, and the next, you’ll get lost in your own bubble. So don’t tell me there’s nothing wrong because I can see it,” Levi didn’t miss a beat.

            “Honestly, Levi. There’s nothing wrong.”

            “Then why are you like that? Why do you isolate yourself? What happened to the old, cheerful, loud as fuck Eren who’s always happy being with friends and family?”

            Eren stiffened for a moment before his shoulders sag and flashed Levi a sad smile. “I’m okay, really. Guess I just had one less reason to be happy, that’s all.”

            Levi wasn’t one for assumptions but the way Eren’s words tugged at him made him think that the reason was him. He caught the faint hint of loneliness in the brunet’s eyes before it was gone. He was hiding his feelings and Levi knew firsthand that bottling them up would not end beautifully.

            “If you need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me. But for now, go back to the house and spend time with your family,” the raven ordered and started to go back. However, he was stopped in his tracks when Eren called him.

            “Levi.”

            “What?” he asked, facing the brunet who suddenly looked conflicted.

            “Did you mean that?”

            “Mean what?”

            “That I can talk to you?” the brunet asked shyly.  

            Levi scoffed. “Of course. We may not be best friends status right now, but you can always talk to me. I hate seeing you like this.”

            “Thank you,” Eren said softly.

            “You’re welcome. Now, come on. Your mom is probably pissed.” The older male started to walk away but was interrupted by Eren again.

            “Levi.”

            “What now?” he asked, exasperatedly.

            “You look good,” Eren commented offhandedly.

            The compliment came out of nowhere, flustering Levi. He tried to hide the surprise by coughing behind his hand. “Um, yeah. You, too.”

            This time, he walked away without looking back to see if Eren was following him. All he cared was to get away from him as soon as possible because he didn’t want the younger male to see the flushed face he was sporting just because he was told that he looked good.

***

            Levi sat between Isabel and Mikasa for dinner and across Eren who seemed to be in good spirits after their small talk. If Grisha and Carla were surprised with this, they didn’t show it, but they looked happy to see their son being open again. They mentioned that this trip wasn’t just because of their wedding anniversary but also to celebrate Eren’s birthday since they weren’t present for the actual date.

            Over dinner, various topics were tossed around, but everyone was shocked when Mikasa let it slip that Armin was seeing someone.

            “No way! Who is it?!” Eren asked.

            “No-no one!” Armin blushed furiously from all of the eyes trained on him.

            “Oh, come on, Armin. It’s not that big of a deal.” Mikasa rolled her eyes at the blond across her. “It’s Annie, my roommate.”

            Eren’s mouth dropped. “Resting bitchface Annie?! How and when did this happen?”

            Carla, who was beside Eren, tugged on his ear. “Young man, watch your language.”

            Armin already looked like a tomato and glared at Mikasa. “We’ve just been going out for a couple of dates but it’s not serious.”

            The ravenette snorted. “Not serious? Tell me that when she stops doodling coconuts with blond wigs every time I see her.”

            The blond looked horrified. “You’re lying,” he muttered. But a second later, Armin looked sheepish and asked quietly, “Does she, really?”

            Mikasa snorted again and proceeded to eat heartily. Armin was still red but a shy smile formed on his face at the revelation the engineering student dropped on him. Eren, on the other hand, was still shocked.

            “I can’t believe it. Every time I visit Mikasa, she looks like she’s judging my every move. I can’t see her smiling or going on dates especially with Armin!”

            Armin huffed. “Gee, thanks Eren. Nobody can be as perfect as you girlfriend, you know.”

            Suddenly, the mood of the entire table shifted and became awkward, at least for Eren and Levi. The latter focused his eyes on his plate and ate quietly. Isabel started grumbling beside him.

            “I don’t like her,” she stated haughtily while she played with a meatball on her plate.

            “Honey, that’s not nice. You haven’t even met her,” Grisha calmly said.

            The red-haired girl stuck her nose up in the air. “Well, that’s the problem. How am I supposed to know her when she can’t even spend one dinner with us?”

            “I told you she’s busy,” Eren explained but Isabel was having none of it and started to sulk. Levi tried to diffuse the situation by talking to the girl.

            “Iz, don’t talk bad about a person you haven’t met personally. I’ve met her and she’s a wonderful person. I’m sure you’ll like her once you get to know her,” the raven assured. Isabel, still so stubborn, looked at him like he had three heads.

            “You met her? Isn’t that awkward?” she asked, incredulously. “But I still don’t care. I like big bro better! He’s more than enough.”

            Levi was flattered and embarrassed at the same time. Isabel continued eating with a satisfied look on her face after she laid out her feelings on the table. Meanwhile, Eren’s eyebrows were knitted together and his lips were pursed. If it weren’t for Isabel’s attachment to Levi, it wouldn’t have put a dampener on the table.

            Luckily, Carla saved the night by getting the chocolate cake out and into the table. Everyone dug in and completely forgot the mini awkwardness earlier especially Isabel whose face was now littered with chocolate. Levi had to wipe her mouth countless of times much to the annoyance of the girl and the amusement of her parents. All along, Eren stared at them with fondness and the raven caught the end of it before the brunet continued eating his slice.

            The atmosphere lightened considerably until they’d reached down time. With stomachs full, they all trooped into the living room to rest. There, they resumed their conversations while watching TV. Levi sat on one end of the long couch with Isabel clutching his arm and using it as a pillow. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were huddled together on the other end, while Grisha and Carla snuggled together lovingly on the loveseat. Soon, some of them, namely Isabel, Armin, and Mikasa, fell asleep while watching. It was only then that Levi realized the time. Easing Isabel down slowly on the arm of the couch, the raven stood up and approached the married couple so he could say goodbye.

            “Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger? I’m sorry to bother you, but I have to go. Thank you for the lovely dinner,” Levi said politely.

            “You’re leaving? Don’t you think it’s better to stay over for the night? This house has too many rooms, anyway,” Carla stated.

            “Thank you for the offer but I still have to finish something for work tomorrow.”

            “Are you sure?” Grisha spoke up and the raven nodded. “Alright, then. Eren, go get the car keys and drive Levi home, will you?”

            The brunet looked surprised for a moment but moved to find the keys. Levi, on the other hand, was already waving his hands in refusal.

            “Oh no, please. I’m definitely okay riding the bus back to Maria. Just a drop off on the station is okay.”

            “I’d rather have you safe,” Carla interjected. “Wait for a moment and I’ll prepare the food you’ll take home.”

            “You don’t have to, Mrs. Jaeger,” Levi responded.

            “Levi Ackerman, do you want me to call your mother and tell her you look like you’re not eating properly?” she asked sternly with her hands on her hips.

            “No, ma’am,” the raven gulped. Carla sounded like his own mother and it creeped him out.

            “I thought so. Wait right there.”

            He couldn’t do anything but to stay put and ran a hand through his hair. Eren was already back with the keys and his father quietly told him to wait for his mother. Almost ten minutes passed by when Carla returned from the kitchen holding a big bag of food containers. She handed it over to Levi who looked at it timidly.

            “You really didn’t have to, but thank you very much for these.”

            “You’re most welcome, sweetheart. Eren, be safe in driving, okay?” she directed at the brunet who’s fixing his ponytail.

            “Eren can just drop me off at the station, Mrs. Jaeger. I’ll be fine taking the bus.”

            “It would be faster if Eren drives you home.”

            “Come on, Levi,” Eren sighed. “You know she won’t stop nagging until she gets her way.”

            Carla tugged the brunet’s ear harshly, making him wince in pain. “You might be a giant akready, but you’re still my little boy.”

            “Stop embarrassing me, mom,” the brunet grumbled.

            “I should probably say goodbye to Izzy,” Levi mumbled quietly and walked back to where Isabel was sleeping soundly. He shook her gently until her eyes slowly opened.

            “Big bro?”

            “Hey, Iz. I’m sorry I have to cut our reunion short, but I need to go home,” he said, patting the wild, red mane.

            “Do you really have to go? You can sleep here,” she said, sleepily. She attempted to look at him with her own puppy eyes but she was having a hard time fighting off sleep.

            “Sorry, Iz. I promise I’ll keep in touch, okay?”

            “Mm… Okay. Be safe, big bro. I missed you.” Isabel wrapped her arms around his waist and Levi returned the gesture. She slowly slid on the couch until she dozed off again.

            With one last hug from Carla and a handshake from Grisha, Levi and Eren went out of the house and walked to the car in silence. Something heavy hung on the air and the raven was uncomfortable. Only the low music on the radio filled the silence and he wasn’t sure how much he could bear the tension between them.

            “Since when did you get your license?” Levi sparked a conversation to at least alleviate the stiffness in the air.

            “Just a few weeks ago.”

            “Is your dad buying you a car?”

            “I don’t know,” the brunet shrugged.

            “Oh.”

            The raven cursed himself for his lack of words. He didn’t know why he could spout so many things when facing a client but he’d be at loss for words when it comes to Eren. He was never good at making small talk. They were driving out of Orvud and into Trost when it was the brunet’s turn to open up a topic.

            “How’s Sina?”

            “Pretty great. Lots of things to do and see,” he answered vaguely. Another silence followed after that and Levi took the opportunity to take a quick look at the brunet who was biting his lower lip as if in deep thought of what to say next. He then looked away to observe the passing lampposts outside.

            “So…uh, are you seeing anyone?” Eren suddenly asked. If Levi didn’t know any better, he’d probably think that the younger male was hitting on him.

            “No,” the raven responded.

            “How about when you were in Sina? No special persons?”

            “No, unless you call work as a special person.”

            “Not even... you know?” The words weren’t explicitly mentioned but Levi already knew what he meant.

            “Hook ups? No.”

            “Why?”

            Well, that’s the million dollar question, wasn’t it? Why didn’t he have the guts to do what he used to before? Levi Ackerman, who could probably get who he wanted even just for a night, had never taken home one guy for the times he was in Sina.

            “I don’t want to.”

            So simple, yet so complex. He was a little bit curious on how Eren interpreted it. He was even more curious on why the younger male was interested in his personal affairs or lack thereof. Others would chide him for not having a partner for quite a while now, but somehow, he knew Eren wasn’t asking just to ridicule him.

            As they entered Maria, the brunet pointed out that Levi hadn’t told him his apartment location. Realizing his blunder, the raven gave him the directions and when they stopped in front of it, Eren let out a whistle.

            “Wow,” he uttered, observing the apartment complex from the inside of the car.

            The words came out of Levi’s mouth even before he could think. “Do you want to come up for tea?”

            Eren contemplated for a minute but ultimately shook his head. “They’re probably waiting up for me,” he said.

            “Okay. Can you tell your mom I said thanks for the food? I really appreciate it.”

            “Sure,” the brunet replied with a smile.

            Levi unbuckled his seatbelt and was about to go out of the car when Eren’s hand suddenly grabbed his wrist. The older male looked at him questioningly while ignoring the warmth of the other’s hand.

            “Do you really mean what you said earlier? That we can still talk?”

            “Yes, I already told you that. Why do you keep on asking?”

            “Because…” Eren hesitated. “Because I don’t want us to act like strangers. I don’t like not talking to you. Isn’t it uncomfortable when we’re the only one who don’t speak to each other when we’re with friends? I don’t want that. I still want to be your friend despite everything.”

            The sincerity in Eren’s voice was evident and who was he to deny the request? Even he himself didn’t want them to stop talking to each other. But could they really be friends with each other? Could exes really stay as friends? He briefly thought of his arrangement with Farlan before. If he could do it with him, then it could possibly work with Eren, too. Levi wasn’t a strong believer of being friends with an ex, but he’d ignore it just this once.

            “That’s fine with me,” the raven accepted and watched how the brunet’s eyes glow in joy.

            “Thanks, Levi.”

            “Drive safely, brat,” Levi reminded with a smirk.

            Eren rolled his eyes. “We’ve only just established our friendship and now you’re back to calling me a brat,” he puffed. “Whatever floats your boat, _old man_.”

            The older male glared at the boy who burst into giggles. “Shut up and go home already.”

            “Aye, aye, captain!” With a honk and a wave, Eren sped off back to the direction of Orvud.

            Levi watched the car drove off until it disappeared from view. All the tension and awkwardness from the evening were washed away the moment he heard Eren laugh again. He considered it as a personal victory since he couldn’t even get one emotion from him when they were at the lake.

            It wasn’t how he expected the night would go. He didn’t expect to be welcomed by the Jaegers again with warm hospitality. He didn’t expect Eren to drive him home and make an agreement with him about rebuilding their friendship at the end of the night. But everything turned out to be fine. That was why when he went to bed, Levi didn’t carry any bad thoughts like he usually did. He felt lighter than air and he was fast asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

 

* * *

 

            When Eren returned to Orvud, Armin and Mikasa were still sleeping on the couch and would most likely spend the night. Isabel was nowhere to be found so he assumed that she’s back in her assigned room. His parents were in the kitchen cleaning and he stopped by to relay Levi’s gratitude for the food. After having a quick chat with them, he kissed their cheeks good night and left the kitchen.

            As he went up to his room, his phone suddenly rang. Seeing the name on the screen, he quickly closed the door and sat on the bed.

            “Hey, love,” he greeted, coolly.

            _“Hey, love! How was dinner with your parents?”_ Historia’s voice crackled from the speaker.

            “It’s great. It was nice seeing them again.”

            _“I wish I can meet them, too, in the future. They sound so nice.”_

“Yeah, well. Maybe someday,” Eren said, hastily. “I’m going to sleep now, okay? You should, too.”

            _“Okay. Good night, love!”_

            “Night.”

            He pressed the end button and placed his phone on the nightstand. He knew he was supposed to feel guilty for not making an effort to make Historia go to dinner with his parents but he just couldn’t. Not when his parents treated Levi the same way as they treated him back in Shiganshina for the first time. Not when he heard Isabel say that he was more than enough. Not when he looked positively at home with Eren’s family. When he thought of introducing Historia to them, Eren became scared that he was going to take them away from the raven.

            So he was going to be selfish.

            Because when he looked at Levi getting close with his family, everything felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me your thoughts!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Since there's no more you and me  
>  It's time I let you go so I can be free  
> And live my life how it should be  
> No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you."_
> 
> \- Better in Time, Leona Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot weather and writing don't mix very well. I had a hard time writing this chapter and I had to redo this a couple of times but I'm still not satisfied.
> 
> Anyway, I'm happy to read all your comments last chapter! Everyone has mixed feelings about it and I'm glad. I just want to share that I personally experienced being Levi and Historia. There was one time I was dragged to my ex's house by our mutual friends. It was awkward as hell but his family welcomed me with open arms. When I was in a relationship, I also experienced the "Izzy attitude" when my (then) boyfriend's brother apparently preferred his ex more than me. So yeah, I know the feeling from both sides. If you hadn't experienced it, then good for you all.

            Eren messaged Levi the morning after.

            It was only a simple message saying, “Hi, it’s Eren” and another one thanking him for coming last night. Even though he was only reading it through his phone, Levi could sense the hesitation behind the words and he also responded with hesitancy on his part. They were clearly tiptoeing around each other for the most part but eventually fell into a comfortable conversation about Levi’s work and Eren’s studies. It was innocent, yet it was a good start for them.  

            When the younger male ended their exchanges because he was meeting up with Historia, Levi was strangely at peace with that. Just knowing that they were in good terms for real this time was already enough for him. He’d take whatever he’d get if that meant that he and Eren would regain their friendship back.

            His mood had improved for the next several days which didn’t go unnoticed by Erwin who pointed it out. He looked like a proud father when he gushed about how Levi was working even more efficiently and made an effort to strike up conversations with the other employees. His enthusiasm wasn’t shared by the raven, though. For him, it wasn’t a big deal, although others were quite surprised when he approached them and asked them about their day. Everyone knew he wasn’t one to initiate casual talks. Levi only shrugged off the questioning looks and carried on with his usual routine at work.

            Of course, the good mood he had was bound to turn to the opposite direction and it started when Hanji called him Thursday night.

            “What do you want?” he answered grumpily.

            “ _And hello to you, too, my pumpkin!_ ” Hanji greeted.

            “What. Do. You. Want,” Levi repeated his earlier question with emphasis on each word. He had just finished dinner and was already in bed relaxing with a book on his hand. He wanted to have a quiet night but when his phone rang and Hanji’s name lit up the screen, he already knew he wasn’t getting that.

            “ _So rude! Anyway, I just called to say that you, Mr. Grumpy Pants, should prepare for your date on Saturday!_ ”

            Levi’s eyebrows drew together in annoyance. “Prepare for what now?” he asked, glaring at the wall in front of him.

            “ _Your date. Specifically, your blind date that I set up_.”

“Hanji,” Levi growled deeply.

            “ _Hey! No take backs! You promised us you’re going to try dating again. Do you want to grow old and alone for the rest of your life?_ ”

            “Why are you such a drama queen? I have work to do so you better cancel it,” he lied, hoping that the brunette would drop the topic.

            “ _Liar. I talked to Erwin and he said you’re not busy this week. He also said you’re looking so happy since Monday_!” she squealed.

            “Hold up. How the fuck did you talk to eyebrows?”

            “ _I texted him, of course! I had to know if my plans would work, you know_. _Got his number the first time we met and I must say that man is a hoot!_ ” she said casually as if talking to Levi’s boss was just a normal thing to do. The knowledge that they had been communicating for quite a while made Levi’s head ache.

            “Damn it,” he muttered while massaging his temple. “I don’t have any choice, do I?”

            Levi could practically hear the smile erupting on her face. “ _Damn straight. Don’t worry, I promise he’s a good guy,”_ she tried to assure but it wasn’t enough for him.

            He tried to argue that he was going to miss their dinner but Hanji still insisted, leaving him no options but to agree. Dating sounded like a foreign thing to him after months of no action. How would he even act? How would one even… date? It seemed like every knowledge he had of it was completely gone.

            After Levi got off the phone, he lay down on his back and stared at the ceiling. He contemplated whether it was a good idea or not to date again. He’s well-aware that almost a year was already a long time and very questionable at that. He already had an inkling that other people aside from Farlan thought he hadn’t moved on from Eren. To convince them otherwise, he knew he had to find someone else and Hanji had already presented a solution to that.

            But his stomach twisted in knots when he thought about having dinner with a stranger rather than with his friends. If word got around that he was on a blind date, how would they react? How would _Eren_ react?

            The raven’s phone chimed for the second time that night, cutting off his thought process. Checking his phone, he was surprised to see a text coming from Eren.

            **Eren** : _You and grumpy cat really look alike_

Puzzled at the message, he responded back asking who the hell grumpy cat was. Seconds later, Eren sent him a picture of a cat who looked perpetually unamused. Levi couldn’t stop the chuckle coming out and the smile on his face afterward. It was weird but he was flattered in a way maybe because he really did look like the cat. That got him into thinking about getting his own pet so that his apartment wouldn’t look as dull as it was right now. He should ask Mikasa for advice regarding that.

            Their conversation steered into different topics until Levi had forgotten about his worries regarding the blind date on the weekend. Eren’s bubbly nature was back in full force and the older male was just glad the awkwardness dissipated already. They texted each other back until the brunet wasn’t replying anymore. Levi guessed Eren had fallen asleep and was too stubborn to tell him he was sleepy. It was good to know that there were still some things that hadn’t changed over time. Even then, Eren had a habit of insisting he could stay up talking or texting during late hours and wouldn’t budge when Levi ordered him to go sleep. However, most of the time, the brunet ended up snoring on the other end.

            When the raven settled under the covers, he stared at the ceiling as he contemplated the lost time with Eren. Time had passed and things had changed. Both of them had gone into different directions and yet, here they were, crossing each other’s paths once more. Levi also had a lot of questions but some of them he was too afraid to voice out. All he knew was that this time, he didn’t want to lose this connection to Eren.

  

* * *

 

            It was already common knowledge to anyone who knew Levi about his knack for cleanliness. He couldn’t count the number of times people had faced his wrath because of a mess whether it was their apartment or the office. Which was why he couldn’t believe Hanji of all people set him up on a date with the messiest eater he’d ever known.

            Levi already had a bad feeling even before he left his apartment. However, he set his doubts aside when Paul introduced himself. He was good-looking and a great conversationalist. Being in the same industry as Levi also helped in their conversation as it prevented any dead air between them. However, when they started to eat their meals, that’s when the raven started wishing he should’ve ditched this plan. Sure, Hanji was a messy eater but Paul took the cake. Not only did he not finish the food, but a lot of it also fell from his plate and on the table cloth. The man was completely oblivious to the food warzone in front of him and Levi had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from berating him.

            He was itching to go home and curl up in bed so when Paul asked if he wanted to go somewhere else after their dinner, Levi feigned sickness and declined. For the whole ride home, the raven kept bombing Hanji rants through texts. She deeply apologized for it and vowed to make it up to him next time.

            But even after going to five dates with five different people in under a month, Levi didn’t see himself with any one of them. This led him, Hanji, and Farlan bingeing on awful movies over ice cream on another Saturday night. The younger ones had their examinations coming up so they all agreed to meet up again after. It was supposed to be just the raven and Farlan, but the brunette left the hospital early to “join the fun”.

            “So, Levi. Tell me again why you never wanted to go on a second date with any of your blind dates?” Hanji asked as she licked her spoon clean of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

            Levi stared and frowned down on his ice cream. “I just don’t like them,” he grumbled.

            “I know Paul turned out to be a fluke but I swear the other guys are nice. What happened with Reiner?”

            “Too bulky.”

            “Eric?”

            “Too quiet.”

            “Dr. Hansen?”

            “Intelligent, but I can’t even fucking follow the conversation half the time. I felt like I was back in school.”

            “How about the guy from the firm? Trevor?” Farlan spoke up.

            Levi paused and thought it over. “Too... blonde,” he finally said.

            “Okay, now you’re just shitting us,” the architect said. “What’s your problem, Lee?”

            The raven sighed and began playing with his melting ice cream. Trevor was indeed a great guy with a pleasing personality and handsome face. He was a junior architect like Farlan and based on what his friend told him, Trevor was well-liked in their firm; it was a miracle that he was single. Before the date, Levi only heard high praises for the guy and he didn’t disappoint him. He couldn’t find one single bad thing about him and, yet, Levi couldn’t bring himself to see him for another time.

            “Alright, fine. Trevor’s a great guy but it just… I don’t know. I’m just not ready yet, I guess,” he revealed. He felt ashamed that he was putting his friends’ efforts in vain. As much as he was grateful for their concern, seeing other people didn’t sit right with him.

            “Is it because of Eren?” Hanji was the one to broach it.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Levi dismissed too quickly. He heard his friends sigh but ignored them, choosing to concentrate on his dessert.

            “Levi…” The biologist put down her bowl on the coffee table and turned to focus her whole attention to the raven. “We’ve known you for years and contrary to what you believe, we can tell when you’re lying or hiding something from us.”

            “She’s right,” Farlan supplied. “You may have the world’s best expressionless face but you can’t fool us.”

            The raven clicked his tongue in frustration as he put his own bowl on the table. “What do you want me to say, huh? That I’m apparently not over with my ex? That even though those guys I went out with are amazing, they couldn’t come close to Eren?”

            Hanji smiled warmly at him. “Nothing’s wrong with that pumpkin. We can’t force ourselves to stop those feelings. To be honest, I love the two of you together, but there’s a reason why you broke up. You still need to work out some things on your own, especially Eren. For now, you need to carry on with your life. Who knows? Maybe someday you’ll have your second chance with him.”

            “Yeah, like that’s going to happen,” Levi scoffed. “Didn’t you hear what he called Historia?”

            “What?” his friends asked.

            “He called her ‘love’,” he answered, sadness lacing his voice. He still remembered overhearing them from last week’s dinner. Listening to them exchanging pet names hurt him more than he could imagine.

            “So?”

            “Did you forget what he used to call me? Babe. That’s like ten notches down from ‘love’. It means Eren’s taking her far more seriously than me.”

            Hanji and Farlan looked at each other before bursting into laughter and Levi glared at them. The brunette was already lying on the floor, grabbing at her sides as she continued to wheeze. The blond, on the other hand, was on the other side of the couch, failing to stop his own laughter behind his hand.

            “The fuck is wrong with you both?” Levi snarled.

            “Oh, my God. That was so—” Hanji wiped the tears coming out from her eyes—“so petty!”

            Levi grabbed his bowl again and directed his irritation to his ice cream while the two were still laughing. Eventually, the hysterics died down but it took a while for his two friends to catch their breath and speak.

            “I can’t believe you just based all that from an endearment. You truly still have the hots for Eren,” Hanji said after calming down.

            “ _I do not_!” the raven insisted.

            “Yeah, right. You should’ve seen him getting all worked up when he found out you were on a date the first time. Poor guy kept asking Hanji about your date and if he wasn’t a serial killer,” Farlan said.

            Now that his friend mentioned it, Eren had been texting him more after his first unsuccessful blind date. Levi didn’t give it any meaning and thought the brunet was just bored. Looking back, he noticed how the younger male was extra friendly at dinner, but he attributed it to Eren’s social skills.

            If what Farlan said was true, why was Eren overly concerned? Could there really be a chance that Eren still had feelings for him?

            As much as Levi wanted that, he knew it was highly unlikely. Eren was just only genuinely concerned as a person. Besides, he really didn’t have any business prying on Levi’s dating life. Just because the older male agreed to be on speaking terms with him didn’t mean that they were automatically friends. Also, Eren already had Historia. Surely, his girlfriend attracted lots of people which the brunet should concern himself. Levi going out on a date shouldn’t even be an issue for him.

            “How many times do I have to tell you? Whatever we had before, it’s already gone. These are all just residual feelings that I need to remove,” Levi said in a clipped tone. “I realized I’m dealing this whole thing unfairly. Maybe I really should give Trevor another chance.”

            “Are you sure?” Hanji asked, skeptically.

            Levi looked at her dead in the eye as he answered, “Positive.”

            To show them how serious he was, he sent a message to Trevor asking when he would be available again. As soon as he got a reply, the raven immediately let his friends see it.

            “Guess I scored myself a second date, then, huh?” Levi gave them a forced smile. “You’re right, though. Tying myself to the past is unhealthy. I just need to completely forget those feelings. Maybe Eren and I are really better off as friends, anyway.”

             “Or maybe you don’t have to forget. You just need to learn from them to become better,” Farlan advised.

            The situation had become too serious that the raven couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. “God, you sound like a middle-aged adult,” he snorted.

             Finally, the heavy atmosphere lightened up after that as they finished their desserts. There was still, however, the sinking feeling in Levi’s gut even until after Hanji and Farlan had gone. He knew he made the right decision earlier but there were still some doubts. Things made it harder for him when he received a message from the source of his uncertainties.

            **Eren:** _Exams are draining the life out of me. Hope your night with H and F went well. We should hang out soon_

Levi bit his lower lip as he fought the urge to just invite the younger male over then and there. Didn’t he just declare a while ago to his friends that he was officially moving on from Eren? Why did he still keep getting flustered from just a simple text? If he wished to be free from the past, then he should instill in his mind that his relationship with Eren was already a finished chapter. The most that they could be right now was to be as friends; but as long as Levi hadn’t gotten his shit together, he needed to keep his distance from the brunet.

            “This is for the best,” he whispered to himself as he pressed the delete button on his phone with a heavy heart. He watched as Eren’s message disappeared from his inbox and hoped that this time, he would actually stay true to his word and finally have the jumpstart that he needed for so long.

 

           


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm twisted 'cause one side of me is telling me that I need to move on  
>  On the other side, I wanna break down and cry."_
> 
> \- Burn, Usher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves at readers who haven't given up on this fic*

            Eren stared at his phone, waiting for the familiar sound that would alert him of a new message.

            He had just finished the last of his exams so he headed back to his apartment to catch up on lost sleep. Before he went off to dreamland, he left a message to Levi, asking him how his day went. But he had already slept for a good solid five hours and his phone screen stayed blank. It was already nearing midnight, surely the older male would’ve been at home already on a Friday night?

            The brunet bit his lip as the thought of Levi avoiding him crossed his mind. Maybe he was annoying him. Admittedly, he’d been constantly messaging him since they were in good terms. He wasn’t going to lie and say that he wasn’t happy to be able to talk to the raven again. There were things that he didn’t feel comfortable sharing even with Mikasa and Armin. Levi had been the only person Eren was able to confide his hidden feelings to like when the time he suddenly questioned his choice of taking up painting as his major. He worried that he wouldn’t have a decent career after his studies and would continue to depend on his parents. He even came to the point where he was already considering shifting to another course which had a clearer path in life. All throughout his ramblings one night, Levi stayed silent and listened intently. It was only when the younger male finished did he speak. He helped him realign his mindset and promised that he would help him in any way that he could. The older male walked him through potential careers and talked about his acquaintances who also had the same fine arts degree. Eren remembered what the raven said when he still wasn’t convinced— _“We’ll get through it together. I’ll be there for you always.”_ —and how those words eased his chaotic mind.

            Eren was always known as the strong-willed, determined boy from Shiganshina, but he wasn’t like that all the time. Sometimes, his drive would slow down and would end up doubting himself. And when he’d spiral downwards, he’d turn to Levi who had always been there. In all honesty, he wanted it to stay that way. Not that he didn’t have anyone else, but Levi was different. Now that they were back in good terms, he didn’t want it to disappear again.

              Which was the reason why the brunet worried that it was happening again.

            He hadn’t heard from Levi for days now. At first, he thought that the older male was busy with work but days passed and he was met with silence. Eren reread his messages to Levi but found no reason to stop talking to him. He was getting frustrated and was on the verge of calling the raven until he calmed down. He figured he was overreacting and the raven was truly overloaded with work. That seemed the most sensible reason and decided he’d catch up with him during their dinner the next day.

            But lo and behold, Levi was still nowhere to be found for dinner.

            “Hey, is Levi coming?” Eren asked Hanji who was looking at the menu.

            She visibly tensed for a second before answering. “Sorry, sweetie. Our resident grump isn’t making an appearance tonight,” Hanji said.

            “Why?” he prodded.

            “I believe he has a date.”

            That threw Eren off, making his thoughts run wild. That must be the reason why Levi wasn’t replying. Levi already found a person that was worth his time. But who was he? What was he like? As of now, Eren’s sure of one thing: he was a person more important than him and it caused him to feel all sorts of things: guilt, sadness, betrayal, and just a tiny smudge of happiness. He knew he it was absurd and that he had no right to feel like this but did Levi really need to cut him off so suddenly? It made no sense why he did it unless the raven thought he’d go ballistic again. But he wouldn’t, would he?

            “Honey, you okay?” Hanji’s voice cut through his thoughts, effectively bringing him back to his normal state.

            “What?”

            “You’ve gone quiet,” she pointed out, putting a hand on his shoulder as a sign of comfort.

            “I’m fine,” he replied, his gaze lowering to his lap. Because of the overwhelming thoughts, he didn’t realize he spaced out. He felt Hanji’s eyes boring into him as if he was a specimen under examination.

            “Hanji, can I ask you something?” The woman stayed silent and Eren took it as a sign to continue. “The guy he’s seeing… he’s a good guy?”

            When she didn’t reply immediately, he chanced a look at her and saw that she was smiling gently with a hint of pity in her features. Eren felt embarrassed and returned his gaze to his lap as he toyed the hem of his shirt.

            “I haven’t met him personally but he’s Farlan’s colleague at the firm. He says he’s a good guy so I’m gonna take his word for it. Why the sudden interest?” There was a playful tone in her voice and Eren felt the blush creep in his cheeks.

            “No reason. Just looking out for him,” he answered which was true, anyway. He only wanted Levi to be safe and just wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t end up with a jerk or worse, an abuser.

            Hanji surprised him by laughing. “Don’t worry too much about grumpy! If something goes wrong, one glare from him would turn the guy into dust. He’s a powerful, little witch.”

            The brunet couldn’t help but crack a smile. Levi was indeed powerful. Feisty, scary yet magical and enchanting at the same time. He was one of a kind and whoever he would end up with was a lucky guy. Eren couldn’t help the sadness consume him as he thought of how he let an amazing person go.

            _It’s all my fault_ , he thought bitterly.

            Eren drifted in and out of their friends’ conversations after that. His smiles were forced, his appetite lessened, and a dark cloud hung over his head. Mikasa noticed the change in his mood and made small talk just to keep his mind off of whatever’s troubling him. He was grateful for the act and made the night bearable, however, being alone was a different story. He couldn’t explain whatever he’s feeling and it seemed like thinking about Levi was making it worse. He didn’t understand why he was very agitated about the older male not talking to him. At the end of the day, he forced himself out of these thoughts.

            Eren tried to stick to his normal routine for the week but there was one other person who he unconsciously shoved aside.

            Historia approached him on Wednesday morning as he waited for his next class. He was sitting on a bench where he first officially met Levi and his friends. Eren was mindlessly doodling on a piece of paper when his girlfriend showed up out of the blue.

            “Hi, love!” Historia greeted cheerfully and pecked on his cheek.

            “Oh, hey,” he responded monotonously. “You don’t have class?”

            “I still have ten minutes to spare. I saw you and figured I’ll wait with you.” She gave him a toothy grin and proceeded to organize her bag. Eren rolled his eyes at the messy state of her stuff. For so many times, he tried to tell her to sort it out and remove some of the stuff she didn’t have any use for. But just like Eren, she was stubborn and so her bag remained like a dumpster.

            “You know,” Historia started, “there’s something wrong with you.”

            Eren raised a brow at her. “Why do you say that?”

            “To be honest, I’m a little mad at you,” she pouted. “You’ve been ignoring me for the past few days. I’ve been texting and calling you but you’re not answering. I’m starting to think you’re hiding something from me.”

            “That’s not—” Eren started to say but stopped himself. It was true. He hadn’t been responding to Historia. For some reason, he didn’t pick up his phone at all. He painted the whole weekend and played games on his laptop whenever he was at his apartment.

            “Sorry,” he sighed. “I think I still have exam hangover.”

            The petite blonde giggled and wrapped her arms around his torso, nuzzling on his shoulder. “That’s okay. How about we go out this afternoon after class?” she suggested.

            Eren didn’t really want to. “Okay.”

            “Great!” Historia perked up. “I need to drop some things off dad’s office. Let’s meet outside their building?”

            “Sure,” he said, noncommittal.

            The girl brushed off his disinterested tone and snuggled at his side. Ten minutes felt too long and Eren almost snapped at Historia to stop her public display of affection. Normally, it didn’t matter to him but a lot of things had become intolerable for the past few days, making him irritable. Luckily for his girlfriend, Eren didn’t have the energy to be mad; and luckily for Eren, Historia’s friend showed up.

            “Aww, look at these lovebirds,” a voice behind them spoke up. “How gross.”

            The couple turned around and saw Ymir, Historia’s freckled friend with an off-putting attitude. Among the blonde’s friends, Ymir was the only one Eren found hard to be with. Ever since Historia introduced him as her boyfriend, the other female became hostile towards him. His girlfriend explained to him that Ymir was just being overprotective as they had been friends since they were kids. After that, he didn’t take much notice of her and reminded himself that she’s equivalent to Mikasa who’s also protective of him.

            “Ymir! Sit with us?” Historia patted the space next to her.

            The freckled woman crossed her arms and sneered at the offer. “No, thanks. Besides we need to get moving or else Richardson will have a bitch fit if we’re late,” she said.

            “Crap, you’re right,” Historia hissed as she checked her watch. “We’ll meet later at 6, love?”

            “Uh-huh, okay,” Eren murmured, silently wishing they’d just go on their merry way. His girlfriend leaned in to kiss him fully on the mouth before joining her friend who made gagging noises. Historia just laughed it off and together they walked into their building. With them gone, the brunet released a big sigh of relief. He loved the peace and quiet he had for the past days but it had to end at some point much to his displeasure.

***

            Eren was more than grateful that he was meeting Historia outside Reiss & Associates Law Firm because it meant that he wouldn’t face her father, Rod Reiss. They had met twice and he had been very intimidated by the renowned lawyer. He was so close in backing out from their plan and just laze around at his apartment but Historia bombarded him with messages, reminding him of their date. So after his last class, he rode the bus down to the business district and waited for his girlfriend as they planned.

            It was a little past six yet she still hadn’t appeared so Eren pulled out his phone to occupy himself while he waited. He was about to open a game but decided to open his inbox and shoot a text to Levi.

            **Eren:** _Hi_

            He knew the chances of receiving a reply was low but, still, he hoped. He hadn’t heard from the raven for days and it frustrated him. Just when he thought they were already going back to normal, this suddenly happened and he didn’t know the reason behind Levi’s silence. But Eren learned to control his emotions and stopped himself from doing rash things like confronting the older male. It was irrational and most likely would not end up good, making everything worse.

            “Eren!” Historia called appearing from behind the building’s glass doors. “Sorry for the wait. Dad and I talked about some things and we got carried away.”

            “It’s no problem. I wasn’t waiting that long, anyway,” Eren said, kissing the girl’s cheek.

            Historia beamed brightly at him and he marveled at her beauty. She was indeed pretty with her angelic face and overall pleasant demeanor. Everybody liked her and those who didn’t were only jealous. Eren couldn’t believe until now that he was in a relationship with somebody like Historia. She had done so many things for him and helped him become a better person. But as much as he didn’t want to sound ungrateful, there was still something missing.

            “I need to buy a dress for dad’s upcoming dinner party. But before that, can we drop by at the café down the block? I’m craving for a Frappuccino right now,” she expressed, linking her arm to his.

            Eren had his hands on his pockets and eyes down on the pavement as they walked to the café. He wasn’t in the mood and he reckoned shopping wouldn’t uplift him. On the other hand, Historia was happily chattering beside him and didn’t seem to mind that he was quiet. He spaced out only to be brought back again when Historia uttered a familiar name.

            “Isn’t that Levi?” she asked and Eren’s head snapped up in an instant.

            A few feet away from them was the man in question, dressed in a sleek black suit and glancing down at his watch. As the couple neared him, Eren could properly make out the man’s androgynous profile. Even after many times of looking at it, he was still mesmerized. Levi’s face had the perfect balance of angular and rounded. It was strong and soft at the same time.

            Eren’s heart started beating faster. He didn’t realize they were passing by Levi’s office. In that moment, he wanted to run away from Levi for reasons unknown but Historia was already calling out the raven’s name.

            “Hi, Levi!”

            Stormy grey eyes turned to their direction and widened when he saw who called him. Even more so when they landed into Eren’s own orbs. The urge to ask the raven why he was avoiding him was strong but he froze in his place. When they stopped in front of him, Eren noticed Levi had gone stiff.

            “Hi,” the raven said weakly. “What are you doing here?”

            “We’re just going to the café nearby and then go shopping,” Historia answered for the both of them. “How about you?”

            “Well, I was just—”

            “Levi, sorry I’m late!” A voice behind Eren and Historia spoke up. The owner of the voice came into view as he passed by the couple and came up to Levi. The guy was almost the same height as Eren and had short, wavy dark locks. Clearly, the man had a well-built body as his muscles were accentuated by his tight blue shirt and black pants. He carried himself so well and had an air of confidence around him.

            Eren already had an idea who the guy was and this shouldn’t have surprised him, but seeing him kiss Levi on the cheek was a different story. His left fist clenched unconsciously at the sight of the raven blushing furiously. He had never known anyone aside from him that could make Levi blush like that.

            “Uh, Trevor, this is Historia and Eren, my friends. Guys, this is Trevor,” Levi introduced rigidly.

            Trevor extended a hand and Historia immediately took it. Eren, on the other hand, kept staring at him that he didn’t realize the guy was waiting for a handshake until his girlfriend nudged his side. The brunet couldn’t help the extra squeeze he gave when their hands met. If the guy found it odd, he didn’t show it.

            “It’s nice to meet Levi’s friends. I only know Farlan from work but that’s about it,” he said with a friendly smile.

            _You have no idea who you’re facing right now_ , Eren thought.

            “So you two are going on a date?” Historia teased.

            “Yes, I’m taking him to Nicolo’s.”

            “Ooh, I heard about that one. Pricey but the food is worth it.,” the blonde stated with a dreamy look on her eyes.

            “Worth it just like Levi.” Trevor winked at the raven who scowled. Eren wanted to punch the cockiness out of the guy’s face.

            “We shouldn’t take up much of your time, then! Let’s go, love?” Historia tugged on Eren’s arm who still hadn’t spoken a word. He ignored the way his heart ached as Trevor placed his hand on Levi’s hips and pulled him closer to him.

            The two pairs walked into opposite directions after saying their farewells. Before they could walk too far, though, Eren glanced back to take a last glimpse of Levi who was already looking back at him. There was confusion and hurt on the raven’s face and the younger male was sure that he was also sporting the same. In that small moment they shared, he could feel the strong pull between them. It was reminiscent of the first time they met when Eren felt the same magnetism towards him.

            Levi was the first to look away as they disappeared around the corner.

            Helping Historia choose a dress was a great distraction; it kept Eren’s mind off things. He kept his bearings together when he dropped her off at her house and on his way home. Back at his apartment, Eren reflected on his day. His mind was filled with Levi and Trevor. He wondered if Trevor was a fling or if Levi considered him as a potential boyfriend. Eren didn’t know which one was better or worse. All he knew was that it hurt and he knew he didn’t have the right to feel this way. Compared to Trevor, Eren had nothing; and Levi deserved someone who could give everything to him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"How do I get better  
>  Once I've had the best  
> You said there's tons of fish in the water  
> So the waters I will test._
> 
> _He kissed my lips  
>  I taste your mouth.  
> He pulled me in  
> I was disgusted with myself."_
> 
> \- Thinking of You, Katy Perry

            Levi had to admit that dating Trevor wasn’t a complete waste of time. In fact, he quite enjoyed his company. Not only was he easy on the eyes, but he was also mature in a lot of ways which the raven really liked about him. Trevor carried himself well in both words and in actions. However, despite all these great things, Levi thought something was missing.

            When the raven let him be kissed after their second date, he thought there was going to be a spark or whatever those romantic novels called it. But when their lips met, there was nothing. Just a press of their lips and nothing more. Levi supposed he was just overthinking things and maybe next time it wouldn’t be like that so he let the whole thing slide. The dreamy look on Trevor’s face also cemented that notion.

            They’d text occasionally but just simple things like their plans for the day. If they both had too much work, they’d give each other space. The opposite could be said about a certain brunet who Levi was painfully ignoring for weeks. Desperation was evident in the younger male’s messages especially when he began to open up topics like Connie’s dog problems or Armin’s exam results. Anything that would start a conversation but Levi wouldn’t budge. He still believed that ignoring Eren’s messages was the right thing to do. Eventually, the texts slowed down to simple greetings and Levi was slightly relieved.

            That was until that fateful Wednesday evening. Trevor asked him out to dinner and since work had been mellow that day, Levi agreed. Erwin was surprised to see him getting up from his chair earlier than he usually did.

            “While I’m glad to see you getting out of here, this is quite surprising,” Erwin said as he stood behind the raven who was packing his things. Failing to notice the man creeping up on him, Levi jumped slightly and looked back to glare at him.

            “Why? Work’s done, anyway,” he grunted.

            Erwin’s calculating eyes swept over him. “You’re seeing someone,” the blond proclaimed.

            “Has anyone ever told you you’re creepy as fuck?” Levi asked, closing his suitcase with slight force.

            “You’re not denying it.”

            If only he didn’t have the highest respect for the man, Levi would’ve stomped on his feet in irritation. “So what if I am?” he muttered, itching to get away from the imposing eyes of Erwin.

            “Nothing. You’re going out to dinner?” the blond inquired.

            “Yes.”

            “Alright. Just remember we have an early meeting with Mr. Ramirez tomorrow,” Erwin reminded.

            Levi rolled his eyes. “ _Yes, mother_.”

            Erwin smiled broadly. “Have fun on your date! And Levi?”

            “What?”

            “Don’t forget to use protection.”

            Levi’s face heat up—in anger and embarrassment—and flipped his boss off as he turned on his heel and walked to the elevators. His mind was far from sleeping with Trevor and now that Erwin mentioned it, it stuck. He wasn’t ready for that kind of intimacy yet and he was beginning to worry if Trevor would initiate something later. Levi didn’t want this potential relationship to start off with sex. He hoped Trevor wouldn’t be offended if he rejected in case things would escalate between them.

            One-night stands and fuck buddies had been long since ruined by Eren. The younger male made him see that relationships could work. He opened up Levi (no pun intended) to the wonders of having someone by your side constantly. He made Levi realize that commitment wasn’t as bad as he once thought. Nothing and no one could replace what he and Eren had before but Levi could find something similar. Trevor could be that guy.

            His phone chimed as he went out of the elevator. Thinking it was Trevor, he unlocked his phone to read the text. However, upon seeing Eren’s name, Levi immediately deleted the message. It hurt him to ignore the brunet but how could he redirect his feelings to Trevor if he kept Eren close to him?

            Shaking his head, Levi pushed away thoughts of Eren and messaged Trevor instead, telling him that he was already waiting in front of the building. He received nothing from the other male and he was already impatient as minutes went by. He kept checking his watch and almost ditched their dinner plans when someone called him.

            Levi’s eyes widened in panic as he saw Historia calling out to him. He internally panicked, even more, when his gaze landed on the person he was ignoring all this time. Eren also stared at him with wide eyes and an expression which resembled constipation. He wanted to bolt inside their building but it was too late and Historia and Eren stopped in front of him.

            “Hi, what are you doing here?” Levi asked.

            “We’re just going to the café nearby and then go shopping. How about you?” Historia answered while Eren remained silent at her side.

            “Well, I was just—”

            “Levi, sorry I’m late!” Trevor suddenly came rushing beside him, panting. He gave Levi a charming smile before kissing him on the cheek. The raven didn’t know whether it was because of the action or Eren’s eyes burning holes into him but he could feel his heat up for the second time that evening. He couldn’t stand the way the brunet was looking at him so he introduced all of them to each other.

            Referring to Eren as his friend left a bad taste on Levi’s mouth but he didn’t want to create drama on the street. Trevor extended his hand to shake hands with Historia first before the brunet. Levi trained his eyes on Eren who kept staring Trevor down and oblivious to the hand in front of him. The raven was puzzled at the look the brunet was sporting; it was a cross between displeasure and suspiciousness. The clenched fist didn’t escape Levi’s eyes, too. He thought Eren was going to punch Trevor at any minute, but thankfully, Historia snapped him out of it. Trevor was still all smiles, unfazed by the looks Eren was giving him.

            At that moment, Levi wanted to just drag his date away, just so he wouldn’t be under the watchful eyes of the brunet. Even more so when said date started becoming sappy and had the audacity to wink at him in front of his ex. Fortunately, Historia had the right idea to leave already.

            As they parted ways, the raven couldn’t help but look back at Eren. Even though he had been ignoring him, it hadn’t been easy on Levi’s part. He missed the brunet’s random ramblings, his stupid jokes, and his constant whining about his subjects. He was torn between fixing the situation and just leaving it the way it was. But could he stay close to Eren while Levi was seeing somebody else? Was he confident enough to take that risk?

            But when viridian eyes found his own, Levi knew he wasn’t ready. Not yet.

            Eren had an almost pleading look on his face as if asking Levi not to go and the latter almost gave in. So, he looked away from him and shuffled closer to Trevor who had his hand resting on Levi’s hip. He promised himself to give this a chance. He wanted to see where it would lead to and that wouldn’t happen if he still acted as if Eren held some power over him. With his mind made up, Levi directed his whole attention to the man beside him. No matter what, he’d enjoy this date and keep unnecessary thoughts locked up in a box inside his mind.

***

            Levi fidgeted in his seat as they waited for their meals to come. He didn’t expect to walk into a lavish restaurant with high ceiling and big chandeliers. And when they sat down, he bit the inside of his cheek when he scanned the menu. Everyone around them looked all fancy with their glittered dresses and tailored suits and he felt like a lost ugly duckling.

            “Are you okay, Levi?” Trevor asked, covering the raven’s hand with his own.

            He stared at the architect’s hand on top of his and internally complained that it wasn’t as warm as he wanted it to be. Levi had half a mind to lie and just brush his uneasiness off, but he wanted to be as honest as he could be with Trevor.

            Levi leaned a bit across the table and asked in a low voice, “Isn’t this a bit too much?”

            Trevor looked like he didn’t understand so he continued, “You don’t have to spend so much, you know.”

            The other male chuckled. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I meant it when I said to your friends that you’re worth it. Money is not an issue. Besides, we don’t see each other that often. I think it’s just fitting we spend it as best as we can,” Trevor explained.

            Levi admitted he had a point, but of course, he didn’t want to be like this every time. However, the other option he had in mind was to spend it at his apartment, relaxing or just watching movies. While he yearned for that, he wasn’t ready to invite Trevor over just yet. Maybe after a couple of more dates and getting to know him better, he’d try.

            Not knowing how to answer, Levi just hummed approvingly and took a sip of his wine. Fortunately, their food arrived moments later and they both start to dig in. Historia’s comment earlier about the price being worth it was true. It tasted like heaven, so delicious that he couldn’t stop the low moan coming from him. His eyes shot open and hoped that his date hadn’t heard it, but, apparently, Trevor did as his eyes suddenly glazed with lust.

            Levi suddenly felt nervous and brought his own eyes back down to look at his plate. He could feel the heated gaze from his date and he was beginning to get uncomfortable.

            Trevor cleared his throat. “I assume you’re enjoying the food?” he asked slyly.

            “Yes, it’s great,” Levi answered abruptly.

            Silence mostly blanketed over them for the rest of their dinner with only the occasional chitchat about work. The shorter male had been more conscious of his actions after his accidental whimper earlier. He didn’t want to give Trevor any more unwarranted ideas.

            But, alas, the gods must be playing him around because Trevor had become touchy the moment they stood from their table. The hand on Levi’s hip as they walked out of the restaurant started caressing his side, insinuating something far more than an innocent thing. When they reached the architect’s car, he gave the raven’s side a squeeze and opened the passenger’s door for him. Levi took the time to compose himself when Trevor was still outside. He needed to get his bearings together so as to not alert his companion of his restlessness. Levi gave him a tender smile as he entered the car and fired up the engine.

            Sometime during the ride, Trevor reached out over the center console and held his hand. The raven was surprised at first but he let him. He thought there was nothing special to the gesture, just two people simply holding hands. Levi mentally scolded himself for being such an ass. He needed to ease himself back into these kinds of things after going so long without them. Just because he didn’t feel anything from holding hands didn’t mean that there was no connection between them.

            Levi watched the buildings pass by to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut. Trevor still held his hand, only removing it when he needed to change gears but would return to its original position between the raven’s fingers. The shorter male envied how it was easy for him to be like this. He hoped he could return the same affection soon.

            Once they stopped in front of Levi’s apartment, it was only the first time the raven faced Trevor.

            “Thank you for dinner,” he said modestly.

            Trevor cupped his face in his hands and stared at him adoringly. Slowly, he leaned and kissed him gently at first. Levi froze for a moment before melting to the kiss. The other male probably sensed it and took it as an advantage to level up the intensity. The architect pulled him even closer with one hand placed on the back of his neck and the other traveling down to his thigh. Trevor swiped his tongue along his lower lip, asking for access, and Levi let him. Once granted, their tongues met and battled for dominance.

            Now, Levi might not have romantic feelings yet, but he wasn’t completely immune to the desires of the body. They were already full-on making out in the car and the raven was so lost in the passion that he had forgotten they were in a place where people could probably see them. It made him dizzy and he didn’t know whether it was from the taste of the bold flavors of the wine they had earlier or the kiss itself. Trevor’s hand in his thigh was crawling upwards, close to his crotch, and the other threaded through his hair. This time, his moans were uncontrollable. His body was telling him to just give it to the man and Levi was about to when the former broke the kiss only to mouth and nibble on the sensitive part of his neck. When Trevor stopped assaulting his neck, he stared at Levi with unbridled lust.

            “Come back home with me tonight,” the architect whispered against his lips before sucking and nibbling on his lower lip.

            “I can’t. I have an early meeting tomorrow,” Levi answered in a breathy voice. Even with a fogged-up mind, he still had a sensible part of him.

            “Come on, Levi. I want you.”

            That made him snap out of the lust-filled space. This was what he was avoiding because even though his body was telling him to just fuck it all and jump him, his mind grounded him. It wasn’t the right time and somehow, it wasn’t right at all. Levi suddenly felt disgusted and ashamed.

            “I’m sorry. I promised my boss I’d be there early,” he reasoned out.

            Trevor only sighed and sank back to his seat. “Alright. I guess I need to get going now,” he muttered in a dejected voice.

            Levi knew he should feel guilty for rejecting him, but truthfully, he was relieved. “Thank you again for dinner, Trevor. I really appreciate it. We should do this again soon,” he suggested just to lift the mood.

            The other male smiled and said, “Of course. Anything for you.”

            “Drive safe,” the raven reminded and went out.

            As Trevor’s car disappeared down the road, Levi sighed heavily and went inside his apartment building. He groaned at his appearance when he passed by the large mirror behind the receptionist’s desk. His lips were swollen from the make-out session and his hair was frazzled. Levi smoothened out his hair and clothes so people wouldn’t think he just got fucked.

            Once in his unit, he went straight for his closet to change his clothes. While he looked, he saw something out of the corner of his eyes. Levi immediately followed it and saw a medium-sized box tucked away in the depths of his closet. He swallowed a lump on his throat upon seeing it and suddenly, memories of a warm body close to him and scent of vanilla and musk invaded his senses. The raven pinched himself to stop his thoughts from further straying, quickly grabbing a new set of clothes and darted to the bedroom.

            Levi had called it his Pandora’s Box because it contained his weaknesses. All of the things that reminded him of one person was there. Countless times, he thought of throwing it away, but he couldn’t follow up with the idea. Throwing it would mean discarding a big part of him. He couldn’t destroy those memories.

            “Please just stay in your box for now,” Levi mumbled quietly.

            Putting on the clothes he grabbed, the raven slipped under the covers and refused to think about warm hands and soft lips that escaped from his box.          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so tempted to write in Eren at the last part and have him knock on the car's window and go berserk. Anyway, thank you all for waiting for this new chapter!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"But no one in this world knows me the way you know me  
>  So you'll probably always have a spell on me."_
> 
> \- Hate That I Love You, Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember when was the last time I wrote something as long as this. This is to make up for the past chapters which weren't up to standards so I hope you all enjoy! :)

            Summer came.

            The younger ones had already gone back to their hometowns for vacation, leaving the employed ones in Maria. Although they wouldn’t be seeing each other for weeks, it was very relieving for Levi. He could go out with Trevor without worrying about crossing paths with Eren. He really wanted to make an effort on this budding relationship despite some doubts on his part. And so, when Hanji had a day off, Levi took the opportunity and invited her out to dinner to finally meet Trevor.

            Needless to say, she was excited and kept bouncing in her seat as they both waited for the two architects to arrive. Farlan must have warned Trevor about Hanji’s intense enthusiasm beforehand because he wasn’t surprised when the brunette observed him like a specimen under a microscope. Trevor only smiled and laughed at the action. Levi had been worried that he might be put off by her behavior but seeing him unperturbed gave him hope.

            As expected, Hanji took a liking to him immediately but not after she threatened to cut his balls off if he ever dared to hurt Levi. The raven only rolled his eyes at the same old threat and called the waiter to order their meals. When Trevor ordered an eggplant casserole, Levi couldn’t help but make a face.

            “Is there something wrong?” Trevor asked as he noticed the slight disgust on the raven’s face.

            “Nothing. I just don’t like eggplants.”

            “Since when don’t you like eggplants?” Farlan piped up.

            “Dunno. Just don’t like it,” Levi answered vaguely. Well, he couldn’t just tell them that he hadn’t eaten even a single slice of eggplant ever since he was with Eren, could he? The brunet’s utter dislike for the vegetable had rubbed off on him and he had gotten used to not eating it.

            They let him be afterward and Hanji put on the spotlight to Trevor once again. Despite her endless questions, the architect had been a troop and answered them all without getting annoyed. He was game to answer everything even if some questions were plain crazy or borderline horrifying. Levi could see Trevor give his all just to please him and his friends. Maybe Levi should be like that, too, if he wanted to make it work.

            And he tried; Levi really tried.

            It all started as a simple dinner that turned into a barhopping night after one of Trevor’s friends—Jeffrey? Jefferson?—suggested it. Initially, the raven thought they were only going to drink just to chill out, but someone ordered shots and everyone was clamoring for more. When he _politely_ declined, he got called a killjoy and a party pooper. So even if it was against his will, he joined them just so he wouldn’t leave a bad impression on Trevor and his friends.

            If he still had been in his university days, Levi would have been down with this kind of lifestyle. But apparently, things had changed. His idea of drinking now didn’t include throwing back shot after shot. When they entered the third bar for the night, all he wanted was to go home. His head was already aching and he would probably regret this in the morning. Drinking on a Thursday night wasn’t a great idea at all. Levi refused to drink anymore and he didn’t care then that the group jeered him. He wasn’t going to end up puking on the damn bar floor.

            Already cranky, the raven voiced out to Trevor that he was going to leave. He didn’t care if he was alone, he just wanted to go home and sleep because it was already midnight and he had work tomorrow. But Trevor insisted he would drive him back to his apartment, telling him that he was capable of driving as he didn’t drink too much. After making sure that he was sober enough to drive, Levi agreed.

            Trevor didn’t notice the displeasure on the raven’s face as he kissed him goodbye after dropping him off. Levi didn’t even bother to see him drive away and marched to his apartment. He decided to take a shower to get rid of the sweat and alcohol that was spilled on him by one of Trevor’s drunk friends. It took him long to be satisfied with the clean state that he had gotten cranky once more upon realizing that he only had a few hours to sleep.

              True enough, the next morning, Levi felt like his head was stomped by elephants. No amount of coffee could save him from the horrendous feeling. He couldn’t concentrate on his work that his reports were full of mistakes and he kept dozing off. Erwin called him to his office and reprimanded him like a schoolboy. The raven didn’t defend himself because he deserved it and apologized for his inadequateness. His boss sighed and let him take a day off to rest which he was grateful for. If Levi was given a chance to choose a father, he’d definitely pick Erwin in a heartbeat.

***

            They had been going out for more than a month but it was only now that they saw each other’s flaws and shortcomings. As Levi grew comfortable around Trevor, he was beginning to show his crass self. The man had been obviously startled at the number of curses he could bring to the table. One time they met for lunch, the raven arrived grumpy because of a handful client. He kept nitpicking about small things like cursing at how the waitress’s cleaning abilities and the sloppy assembly of the burger he ordered. Trevor had chastised him for being improper in public which the shorter male only scoffed at. After that, things had gotten awkward to the point that Levi started feeling guilty and eventually apologized.

            But it wasn’t only him that showed a part of his personality.

            On a rare occasion when they went to the mall, a small shop caught Levi’s eyes and urged Trevor to go in. The architect’s brow raised in question but he let the raven do what he wanted. As Levi browsed the shelves in curiosity, Trevor’s phone suddenly rang and went out of the shop to answer it. A few minutes later, he returned.

            “Hey, that was Jeff. He’s asking if we’re up to go to the new pub tonight,” he relayed.

            Levi inwardly groaned. “Can we skip? I’m not feeling the drinking vibe tonight,” he said.

            “Oh? Is there something you have in mind?” Trevor whispered seductively, wrapping his arms around the raven’s waist. He pulled the shorter male against his chest and buried his face in his neck.

            “Well, I figured we can just stay at my apartment and—” Levi pulled something out of the shelf—“relax using these.”

            Trevor rose his head and burst into laughter after seeing what was on Levi’s hands. “Face masks?”

            “Yes? We can have a pamper night,” he suggested. The raven thought he deserved it after a grueling week. A small smile appeared on his face as he examined the different masks in front of him.

            “Wait, you’re serious? Aren’t these a little too… girly?” the architect asked incredulously.

            Levi frowned. He wanted to argue that face masks weren’t just exclusive to women. Anyone who wanted to take good care of their skin could use all of these beauty products—even men. It stung that Trevor thought the opposite and his view made Levi feel ashamed. But since they had been fighting for the smallest things the past few days, he didn’t want to add another. After a long time, he finally found someone who made him feel safe and wanted. Why would he risk losing it?

            “I guess,” Levi sighed. He couldn’t help but pout as he returned the mask back on the shelf.

            “Yeah, you don’t need those.” Trevor dragged him out of the store. “So, what’s your plan later? Still want to stay at your apartment or let’s hit up Jeff’s offer?”

            “You know what? You go with Jeff. I feel like I’m coming down with the flu, anyway,” the raven reasoned out. He figured the other male wanted to drink tonight and Levi was really not up for it. Between lounging on the bed while streaming movies and causing himself liver damage, Trevor’s question was definitely a no-brainer.

            “Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?” the architect asked, concern evident on his eyes.

            “No, I’m fine, but I think I should head home.”

            Trevor didn’t argue further and took the raven back to his apartment. Levi admitted he imagined the first time the other male would step into his apartment would lead to intimate activities and not staying for just a while then leaving him for a drinking spree with a friend. He couldn’t believe Trevor didn’t even put up a fight. Guess he wasn’t as great as what Farlan advertised him to be.

            Faking a smile as the architect left, Levi grabbed the pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from the fridge and trudged back to his bedroom to fulfill his earlier objective. He was halfway through an episode of Lucifer when his phone rang. Levi decided to ignore it, thinking it was Trevor calling, and went back to ogling Lucifer’s half-naked body. However, whoever was calling was hell-bent on pulling his attention away. It was after the fifth call that he finally answered.

            “What?” he growled.

            “ _Hey, big bro! Am I calling at a bad time?_ ” Isabel’s voice spoke up on the other end.

            Levi immediately put down his ice cream on the nightstand. “Iz, hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I thought you were someone else. Anyway, why did you call? Is there something wrong? Are you okay?”

            “ _Yep! I’m fine. I started volunteering at the animal clinic last week and it’s so amazing! But it can also be sad at times especially when they bring in abandoned pets. I mean, how could they be so heartless? Why is it easy for them to leave something they used to love and take care of? Animals are so cute and cuddly. If we only had a big house with a big yard, I’m going to adopt them all!”_

The raven cracked a smile at the girl’s monologue. It’s the first in a while since they talked to each other on the phone. Usually, they would only text and even that would be limited since Carla didn’t like her spending too much on her phone during school nights. With the small time she had, Isabel would tell him all about what happened at school or something random like what she dreamt the other night. She’d talk about everything except anything concerning Eren. Levi figured her parents might have given her a lecture regarding that.

            This time was different.

            “ _But… that’s not the reason why I called, big bro._ ”

            “What is it?”

            “ _Do you know if something happened to Eren? Ever since he came home, he was broody. I thought it was because they broke up or something, but when I checked his social media accounts, they’re still together. So do you have any idea what’s his reason? He looks so sad all the time and I’m starting to worry._ ” The way Isabel’s voice quietened towards the end only showed that she loved his brother despite their petty fights. Her question, though, spiked Levi’s curiosity.

            As far as he knew, Eren didn’t have any problems. The brunet looked fine the last time he saw him albeit not saying a word to each other.          

            “I have no idea,” Levi said truthfully. “Have you asked Mikasa or Armin?”

            “ _They don’t know either,_ ” she sighed. “ _I just wish he’d talk to someone._ ”

            Isabel’s worries were contagious as he began to feel the same way, too. When Eren became detached to the world, it only meant that he had something heavy in his mind. Levi remembered the last time he was like this was when they broke up, but from what Isabel said, Eren and Historia hadn’t broken up. So what was the reason?

            “I can try and talk to him if it helps?” Levi suggested. Although adamant about putting some space between them, he’d gladly swallow up his pride for this.

            “ _Really? You’d do that?_ _Won’t it be awkward?_ ”

            “I hope it won’t be. Eren is still… a friend. Whatever he’s going through, he could tell me.”

            An excited shriek came from Isabel. “ _Oh, my gosh, thank you! I knew I should’ve called you sooner. If anybody can make him talk, it’s you,_ ” she cooed.

            “I’ll try. Where is he right now?”

            “ _In his room probably playing on his laptop like he always has ever since he came home._ ”

            “Alright, but I’m not making any promises,” Levi warned.

            When the call ended, the raven sent a text to Eren asking how he was. He thought the brunet would reply immediately especially now that Levi came out of hiding. He waited to hear from the younger male but his phone stayed silent. In a desperate attempt to make the other notice him, he finally called. Levi’s heart loudly banged in his ears as he listened intently. He felt a rush and then he realized how much he wanted to hear Eren at that moment. He didn’t care what they’d talk about; he just wanted to hear him talk and laugh just like old times.

            But his heart dropped when the call went to voicemail. He tried calling again but the other line went dead after only a few rings. Levi couldn’t help the thought that Eren was mad at him for avoiding him. Then, another realization struck him—was he the reason why Eren was keeping to himself? But that would be impossible. Eren shouldn’t be too much affected by it. Unless… Yeah, he wouldn’t go there.

            Levi figured it was best to leave the younger male alone for the moment. He’d find another way to talk to him whether Eren wanted to or not.

 

* * *

 

 

            It’s as if the universe was mocking him for what he did to Eren. The tables had turned and all of his messages to the brunet went unanswered. He wasn’t giving up, though. So when he heard that the Shiganshina trio was back two weeks before university started, Levi was dead set on talking to Eren personally. He decided to do it after Hanji reminded him of their Saturday dinner. He only hoped that Historia wouldn’t be there.

            Levi had been engrossed with thinking about confronting Eren and work that he barely talked to Trevor. Thankfully, the architect was also busy with his own work to notice or care; though they did have dinner one night at Niccolo’s again despite the raven’s protests. He still thought that going to expensive restaurants was too much and they could’ve saved money by eating take-out. As expected, that fell into deaf ears. The good that came out from that dinner, though, was probably when Trevor said he’d be gone for two weeks because of a conference out of the country. It’s not that he didn’t want to be with him, but Trevor always wanted to go all out when he wanted to go slow. At the back of his mind, Levi had an inkling that the other male was growing frustrated with him. He had lost count of how many times he was asked to come home with him which he always declined. Trevor’s patience was unyielding but he knew it would end sometime.

            The much-awaited dinner came and Levi readied himself to face Eren. He came early much to Hanji’s delight and his displeasure. It sometimes amazed him that she could talk anyone’s ear off without running out of topics. One time, she managed to talk about 15 different topics under 10 minutes (he counted). Hanji was in the middle of yapping about the Vikings when the others came in. Levi shut his ears off and searched for Eren right away. He sucked in a breath as their eyes met but the brunet immediately avoided his. There was definitely something wrong and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

            “Hey, where’s Farlan?” Jean asked, looking around the room in search of the blond.

            “He’s away on a conference together with Levi’s sweetie pie. He misses him so he’s extra grumpy tonight,” Hanji laughed.

            The raven glared daggers at her and pulled on her ponytail. “ _Shut up_. I don’t miss him,” he growled.

            “Aw, don’t be shy! We all know you’re a softie.”

            “Shut the fuck up,” Levi hissed. He looked at the other end of the table and saw Eren silently eating his food. He couldn’t figure out whether the younger male was deliberately ignoring the conversation or he was lost in his own bubble.

            They were having desserts when Levi found an opening to carry on with his plan. Sasha loudly declared how she was excited to enter their last year of university and suddenly, Eren stood up.

            Mikasa, who sat beside the brunet, grabbed onto his wrist and asked, “Where are you going?”

            “On the balcony. I need some air,” he replied.

            “Are you okay? Do you want me to come with you?”

            Eren forced a small smile. “It’s fine. You stay here.”

            Levi had to wait a few minutes before following the brunet. Everyone except Mikasa was completely absorbed in the conversation and she realized what he was about to do. His cousin nodded at him to give the go signal and turned her attention to Jean who blushed when Mikasa held his hand. As everyone was preoccupied, he slipped out to the balcony where Eren was. Only a couple was dining at the corner and they seemed not to notice the two males. Carefully, he approached the brunet who was leaning on the railing, looking far away.

            “Can I talk to you?” Levi asked, also leaning to the railing for support. When no answer came, he continued, “Isabel told me you’ve been keeping to yourself when you came home. She’s worried about you.”

            Eren still wasn’t talking nor looking at him. It was beginning to get on his nerves but he had to control himself or else they’d end up fighting for no reason at all.

            “I was worried, too, but you’re not answering my texts—”

            “That’s so rich coming from you,” the brunet finally spoke. “You’re asking me that after you just disappeared on me?”

            “Eren, that’s not—” He tried to rectify the situation but when Eren looked back at him with his viridian eyes swirling with too many emotions, the words died on his tongue.

            “Then why? As far as I know, you told me I can talk to you. If you changed your mind, you should’ve just told me straight up rather than string me along.”

            “I wasn’t stringing you along,” the raven said. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was an asshole, but I’m here now and I want to know what’s bothering you. You’re never like this unless there’s something troubling you.”

            The younger male scrutinized him, deliberating whether Levi was sincere or not. When the older male kept his eyes on him, Eren sighed and returned to observing the people walking down the street. Levi knew the brunet was sorting his thoughts out so he just mimicked the other’s actions and waited for him to speak up. Even if there’s space between them, Levi could feel the heat emanating from Eren and it made him want to inch closer to him. He snuck a look at the taller male and studied the planes of his face.

            Levi felt his face warm at what he was doing, but he couldn’t help but be magnetized. Despite having seen it many times, he didn’t get tired of the gorgeous sight. He was tempted to touch his face, to brush his knuckles on his cheek.

            “I’m scared,” Eren whispered, knocking Levi out of his fantasy.

            “Why?”

            “Because I don’t know what to do. I’m in my last year of uni but I still don’t have any idea what I’m going to do after. Everyone inside already has their own plans and I don’t. I’ve been wondering if I made a mistake of choosing my degree. I know it’s my passion but maybe I should’ve chosen a more practical degree. I’m just so lost,” the brunet revealed.

            “You wouldn’t be happy if you pursued a different degree,” Levi stated as a matter-of-factly. “Eren, you don’t have to decide right now what you’re going to do. You still have months to think it over. Don’t try to match the pace of others and focus on yourself.”

            The brunet seemed to let the words sink into him. Eren had often doubted himself when it came to his future and always questioned his choices.

            “Thanks, Levi,” the younger male said after a while.

            “For what?” he asked.

            Eren’s features softened as he looked at him. “For this. For listening. You and I… We’re on different paths now but we’re still friends, right? You know you’re the only one I could talk to about everything and when you stopped answering my messages, I felt like I was alone so I just shut off. I know I shouldn’t be dependent on you for these kinds of things, but you’re also my best friend and I want to keep it that way,” he explained, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

            Guilt rose up from deep inside Levi but he was also flattered that Eren considered him as a best friend. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” he apologized. “How about I make it up to you?”

            “Huh?”

            “Do you have any plans tomorrow?”

            “None, I think?” Eren replied, brows furrowing in confusion.

            “Let’s meet tomorrow at the main entrance of the park,” the raven declared, not wasting any second.

            “Are we having a picnic?” the brunet asked skeptically and Levi wanted to laugh at the other male’s expression of disbelief.

            “No. Just trust me. And wear light and comfortable clothes, yeah?”

            Eren still looked doubtful but nodded in affirmation. It was a miracle that the younger male agreed on whatever Levi was planning without putting up much of a fight. Maybe he could tell that he was sincere in making up to him. But whatever his reason was, Levi was dead set on making sure that he wouldn’t make the same mistake again and show Eren that he would be there as his trusted friend.

            The two didn’t talk further and slipped back inside the bistro. Eren still looked glum but a little better than he did earlier. Levi, on the other hand, acted like just hadn’t had a moment with his ex-boyfriend and settled on his seat. Though he should’ve known Hanji wouldn’t miss that with her hawk-like eyes.

            “Is there something I need to know, my pumpkin?” she grinned, waggling her eyebrows.

            “None of your business, shitty glasses.”

            “Just to remind you, he has a girlfriend now,” Hanji said.

            “I know that,” he snapped. “I’m not planning on stealing him.”

            The brunette gave him the biggest shit-eating grin she could muster and he just wanted to wipe it off from her face. Levi shook his head at her nuttiness and turned his attention to his tiramisu. Hanji’s words continued to echo in his heads and it bothered him a bit. It wasn’t as if he and Eren were going on a _date_. They were just two friends going to hang out and have fun. What could possibly go wrong with that?

 

* * *

 

 

            As Levi stood at the park entrance waiting for Eren in the afternoon the next day, he started to wonder if it was a good idea to push through with his plan. But when he saw the younger male walking towards him, wearing a simple white tee and gray jogger pants with his hair tied up in a loose bun, he was glad he came up with it.

            “Hey,” Eren greeted, still looking a bit downcast.

            Levi gave him a small smile. “Hey, I’m glad you came.”

            The brunet forced a smile of his own but quickly turned to a straight line. It was obvious that he felt awkward and didn’t know what to do. “Um, what’s with the bag?” he asked, pointing at the small bag Levi was holding.

            “Just some things we might need,” the raven shrugged.

            “Okay… As long as those won’t be used to murder me, then I’m good.”

            “Do I look like a murderer?” Levi glared darkly at him and the other male just gave him a ‘do-you-want-me-to-answer-that’ look. “Whatever, you brat. Come on.”

            As Levi started to walk, Eren followed closely behind him. He felt nervous and excited at the same time. This had been an impulse decision but when he saw how sad the brunet was last night, he knew he had to do it. He wished Eren would love the place he was taking him to. When they stopped in front of the building, he heard the other gasp.

            “An indoor trampoline park?” Eren squeaked. Levi turned around and saw him staring at the building name, Fly High, with big wide eyes. He swore he saw Eren’s eyes sparkle for a moment and he immediately knew that bringing him there was the right decision.

            “Yeah, it just opened recently and the owner’s one of our clients. He gave us free passes so here we are.”

            “But why take me? I mean, you have…other people?”

             Levi shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, you deserve it. Besides, I told you I’d make it up to you, didn’t I?”

            Just like a kid, Eren lit up and the smile Levi was waiting for came into view. “Well, what are we waiting for, then? Let’s go!” the brunet exclaimed, grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside.

            They had to present their free passes to the counter and also store their belongings and shoes in the locker room before going to the main area. They were given special grip socks that they had to use for jumping. Eren just tossed away his things in his assigned locker and put on his socks quickly, while Levi took his time putting his own away. The younger male had become impatient and whined about the raven being a slowpoke. When he was finished, Eren pulled him again to the main area and was amazed at how many activities he could do. There was an open area where people could jump freely, a basketball area where one can perform slam dunks, and a dodge ball area. At the back, there was a wall climbing section, monkey bars, a balance beam, swinging foam bags, and a foam pit you could fall on.

            Eren settled for the open area first and proceeded to jump freely. Levi followed suit and together, they were enjoying their experience. When they had their fill on the open area, they moved to the dodge ball area where they were invited by other people for a game. Usually, Levi hated these kinds of things as it involves sweat and sweaty people; however, he couldn’t deny the rush he felt as he jumped on the trampolines. It almost felt like he was flying.

            After two rounds of dodge ball, though, the older male wanted to take a break. On the other hand, Eren was still pumped up and decided to try the slam dunk section. Levi went to the sitting area just outside the trampoline area and rested his feet. From his vantage point, he could see the brunet happily talking to two younger people. He then put on a show as he practiced dunking. With the help of the trampoline, he twisted and turned in the air as he brought the ball down. The boys watched him in awe and clapped when he successfully dunked.

            Seeing Eren smile genuinely after a long while warmed Levi’s heart. He knew it wasn’t enough to erase the brunet’s doubts but it was able to pull out the blinding smile from him.

            They kept jumping for more than three hours, only taking small breaks in between. Eren’s happiness never faded even if he was panting hard. When it was time to leave, he whined and refused to go until Levi promised him they would come back. Going back to the locker room, the brunet had been talkative. It was a complete opposite of his whole attitude the night before.

            “Here, put this on,” the raven said, handing him a towel and a clean shirt.

            Eren looked surprised at the gesture. “Oh, thanks. So that’s what’s in your bag, huh?” he chuckled, wiping his sweat off. When he removed his dirty shirt, Levi had to look away to hide his burning face. He wasn’t ready for a topless Eren right now.

            “Of course. I had to keep this a secret so I brought them,” he muttered, changing his own shirt hastily.

            There was a pause before Eren cleared his throat. “Um, Levi?”

            “What?” Levi faced the brunet who fortunately was fully clothed.

            “Do you… Do you want to go to my apartment?” he muttered shyly.

            Levi was shocked. His heart started beating loudly he was sure that it was echoing through the walls of the locker room. He didn’t know what to say so he just stood there, looking at Eren as if he had four heads.

            “I-I mean… We could order takeout and have dinner there? Just a little thank you from me if that’s okay,” Eren said hopefully. He knew he should decline but the traitorous feeling inside him made him agree. Although, he wouldn’t deny that he was glad that he would be spending more time with the younger male.

            The bus ride to Eren’s apartment was silent but not unwelcoming. They were still spent from all the jumping earlier and the ride served as a time to catch their breaths. When they arrived at the apartment, the brunet immediately called for Chinese takeout while Levi sat on the couch. Nothing had changed in the apartment except more clutter which brought out a sense of nostalgia in him.

            “Levi, do you want to shower?” Eren asked after the call.

            “No, thanks. I’ll shower when I get home,” he answered. Of course, he wouldn’t do that even if his skin crawled with the thought of sweat and dirt clinging to him. He was already crossing boundaries by just being at Eren’s apartment and he wouldn’t push it even more by taking a goddamn shower.

            “Oh, okay. Do you mind if I take a quick one?”

            “This is your apartment. Do whatever you want.” The brunet chuckled in earnest and disappeared to the bathroom.

            Levi occupied himself by using his phone. He was afraid that if he didn’t do that, he would snoop in the younger male’s things. Being back in the apartment spurred memories and it was hard not to do what he used to do before like lounging on the couch with his feet up or going straight to the bedroom. He was and wasn’t a stranger at the same time.

            Thankfully, those memories were halted when the bathroom door opened and Eren walked out in fresh clean clothes. Levi was jealous and then became annoyed when he saw water dripping down from the brunet’s hair and soaking his shirt.

            “Tch! Sit down!” the raven commanded and the brunet instantly complied. Levi stood up and snatched the towel around Eren’s neck and began to furiously dry his hair. “Of all the times I’ve given you shit because you wouldn’t dry your hair properly, you’d think it would’ve been imprinted on your brain by now, but no! Fucking damn brat.”

            Levi was still muttering under his breath when suddenly, arms circled around his waist. He stood frozen while Eren pressed his face against his chest. His brain was short-circuiting as the brunet’s arms wrapped tightly around him. He could feel the wetness from Eren’s hair seep into his shirt but he didn’t care because all he could think about was that Eren was hugging him! Should he push him away? Should he return the gesture?

            There was no denying the fact that this sent shivers up in Levi’s spine and though he wanted to pull the other even closer, he refrained from doing so. His hands dropped down on his side with one hand still clutching the towel. Eren held him for a few more seconds before releasing him.

            “Thank you for today,” Eren expressed, “you made me happy.”

            “Yeah,” Levi breathed out. He was at lost for words.

            The doorbell rang and the intimate moment between them shattered. Eren got up to get their delivery and it was the raven’s turn to sit down. He evened out his breathing as the younger male gave him his takeout. When he saw Eren ordered his favorite orange chicken for him, he smiled.

            “I’ll pay you later,” Levi said.

            “Oh, no, no. I told you this is my thank you for today. I’m sorry this is only cheap takeout. I know you’re used to expensive food now.”

            “Nah, this is great. Expensive doesn’t mean it tastes good all the time. It’s just a waste of money.”

            Eren smiled at him and they scarfed their food down. At that moment, they both felt like they were back in the past when they would spend a weekend in one’s apartment and just talk and eat. The only difference now was that they wouldn’t end up in the same bed together but the feeling still lingered. When their eyes would meet in between bites, there was that same twinkle from before.

            Levi decided to go home after they finished their meals. Eren thanked him once more and hugged him again. This time, the raven had the courage to return it. The warmth and the familiar relaxing scent coming the brunet was enough to make him hold tighter. Other than feeling safe, there was another strong feeling underneath that seemed to only show when it came to Eren. He didn’t want to let go, but he needed to or else things would get complicated.

            However, Eren’s smile after they broke physical contact held a promise. Levi didn’t know what it was but it certainly assured him that things would be alright.

           


End file.
